Partially out of genuine fear (but mostly out of nostalgia for apocalyptic- and semi-apocalyptic action movies when the L'Homme Armé saves the day), I was googling around to figure out just what these militias are.

They look like fun!!!  Especially for a man, like me.  At least, MichiganMilitia.com makes it seem that way.

You can start your journey now, my Lord (not necessarily for free, though.

The Queen is waiting!

Just think: a heightenend sense of self-worth.  Resolution of my suppressed homosexual impulses (teabagging just fueled my hunger).  A feeling of duty.  Belonging.  And if I happen to join one with its own complex mythology, it'll just enrich the general militia culture. My wife calls it a sausage party, which is awesome--I eat a plate of brats at least one day a week.  Where do I sign up?

Hey, whaddya mean, no liberals allowed?