New Study finds that you are absolutely correct
WASHINGTON - A new study from the prestigious Wolfrum Alpha Research Squad has confirmed what most people already believe - that they are absolutely correct on all issues and would be foolish to listen to opposing viewpoints.
"After years of intense research, we believe our conclusions are faultless," said lead researcher William "Buzz" Wolfrum. "Just like everyone's opinions."
The research used by the group was "all-encompassing" and used biorhythms, charts, algorithms, graphs and a slide show. The end result confirmed what most already believed to be true - that they are absolutely correct.
"This is fantastic news and shows that, yes, we've been right all along," said film reviewer and political pundit Michael Medved. "And it proves that listening to each other is a stupid concept."
While the Wolfrum Alpha team has published its findings and feels confident in the results ("Of course, we're right," said Wolfrum) there has been some confusion regarding thought conflict. How could two or more conflicting thoughts be correct? Wolfrum said the answer is simple.
"It's like that 'Seinfeld' episode where George said the trick to get through a lie-detector test was to 'believe your lie was true.'" said Wolfrum. "It's the exact same principle."
The research team also pointed to newspaper reporting, where all theories are given equal credibility even when one side seems spectacularly incorrect. This phenomena, known as "Just Type, Don't Think," has helped many Americans accept the fact that whatever it is they believe, it's more than likely true, regardless of reality. Wolfrum added that the research proved that the United States was on the correct path.
"Right now in the U.S., there are millions and millions of people who are positive that they are correct, whether it be about religion, sports or politics," said Wolfrum. "And they all are correct and shouldn't have to listen to other equally correct opinions.
"Take Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly, for example," added Wolfrum. "One day they'll say one thing, the next day they'll say the complete opposite. And yet you see they never abandon their overall correctness. It's not just the American way, it's science."
-WKW
















The greatest thing about this study is that we no longer need to do 'any' further studies!
September 24, 2009 11:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
HAHHAAHAHH
You make me speechless Sync. hahah
September 24, 2009 11:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ummm...
Ken Wilber said "The human mind is incapable of being 100% wrong 100% of the time. Likewise, the human mind is incapable of being 100% wrong 100% of the time.
If he is correct which he must be, because we all are... umm....ugh....&@#!*#! (mental implosion)
September 24, 2009 11:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
I thought Ken Wilber said, "The human mind is incapable...100% of the time."
And, of course, I'm right.
September 24, 2009 1:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well I used to work for the guy so I'm pretty sure he said this at least once if not more than once in one of his speeches, conversations et al...
but of course, you are right!
September 24, 2009 3:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ken Wilber's wrong
September 24, 2009 5:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ken Wilber's right
September 24, 2009 6:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Criky, I got that wrong...
He says the human brain is incapable of being 100% 'right' 100% of the time and likewise 100% wrong, 100% of the time.
Thus I have proven your study is highly flawed!
September 24, 2009 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not so. Read his last paragraph.
Right, again.
September 24, 2009 8:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
I fail to see what this has to do with Health Care Reform.
You should be ashamed.
September 24, 2009 12:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not one mention of the public option. Obviously a troll. Not recommended.
September 24, 2009 12:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Careful, it appears h'es been there, done that. :-)
September 24, 2009 1:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is 12th-dimensional-chess blogging. I wouldn't expect you to understand. That said, you are absolutely correct.
September 24, 2009 12:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh you don't have to tell me, I knew it all along. That's why I do so well at fantasy football.
September 24, 2009 4:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is the most ridiculous and subversive thing I have ever read. Another anti-Second Amendment screed on a left wing internet site. Surprise. Surprise.
I have to give it to you though this one is sneaky. As usual you employ pseudo-social science techniques to make your argument. “..charts, algorithms, graphs..” Your graphs with their vertical axis of correctness and horizontal axis of possible opinions show a straight, flat line. No bell shaped curve (or what I call a “bullet shaped” curve) in your reality. No more or less. No greater or lesser. One might ask why language even bothers to support comparative adjectival forms at all. And speaking of language you say “algorithms.” Algorithm is a corruption of an Arabic name which is something I will address later but it is telling that such words are part of the vocabulary of a gun control fanatic like you.
So in your Chardonnay besotted mind everyone is absolutely correct. And it follows of course that if everyone is absolutely correct then there can be no basis for conflict, in which case firearms are superfluous and an unnecessary hazard. It is easy for your reader to slip on this wedge of ripe brie that you are placing under foot and fall to the floor in your collectivist kitchen. I am made of sterner stuff and am still standing.
Our founding fathers knew and our nation is based upon the notion that there is right and wrong and that one may have to shoot the other. Thus it is that after the First Amendment which enshrines one’s right to free expression, there follows the Second Amendment that explains what is to be done about those whose expression is wrong. Like the internal combustion engine our social model is a reciprocating machine, a flail if you will, where the forces of truth battle those of untruth. In battle one employs weapons. This is the nature of the world that every Christian believes in and has fought for since Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs. Like the snake in the Garden of Eden, you would seduce your audience into believing that one need not bear the burden of righteousness and the duty to be armed against iniquity. Your efforts here are transparent and will fail, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.
September 24, 2009 12:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm with you, Mister.
Let's kill somethin'.
September 24, 2009 1:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well put Larry and might I add that the forces of truth seem to be losing the battle in the engine of my 18 year old Honda.
September 24, 2009 2:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
In both cases the solution is lubricants. For your car I recommend regular oil changes. When searching for the truth I recommend bourbon Whiskey.
September 24, 2009 2:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Damn, there's my mistake right there! I drank the Castrol and put the Wild Turkey in the crankcase.
September 24, 2009 2:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
At the risk of sounding un-American, I find my truth in a wee dram of Scotch whisky.
But I think we're both correct.
-- ARG
September 24, 2009 3:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Actually, you're both wrong.
September 24, 2009 8:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
I mean, you're both 100%.
September 24, 2009 8:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
You just earnt The Douchebaggiest Post of The Week.
September 25, 2009 2:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
Screw you, pal. I can outdouche Larry the Loser all week long.
Oh wait. You're Australian. Sorry. I'll talk stupider.
September 25, 2009 10:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you Q, I think.
September 25, 2009 12:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank God you had the slide show, because otherwise, no dice.
September 24, 2009 12:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Stock prices of Wikipedia, Google and other search engine / reference aids, crashed as no-one felt the need to look anything up anymore.
Tens of thousands of researchers hit the unemployment lines along with fact-checkers and proof-readers.
However, Enrollment in creative writing courses tripled.
September 24, 2009 2:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
I love it, "it's science!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag8g96qsdaI&NR=1
September 24, 2009 3:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wasn't sure before, but I'm "right" now.
September 24, 2009 4:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
In an infinite universe, not only are all things possible, all things are. Simultaneously. So congratulations, humanity, we are all equally right!
Just maybe not in this reality.
September 24, 2009 5:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh man you took all of the fun out of it...
we want to all be right in the same reality...
we want it all!
September 24, 2009 6:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
I now see I was wrong in my belief that Republicans have an inexhaustible appetitie for books, commentary and news shows that tell them that what they already believe they know is 100% correct. I now see that what I though of as a giant scam was, in fact, a natural consequence of the fact that what those Republicans thought they knew was, in fact, 100% correct, so, of course, any books, news or commentary they purchased would naturally also have to be 100% correct.
I'm still trying to figure out how my previously mistaken belief, was, in fact, 100% correct all along, but I'm confident I'll work it out because I am, of course, always right.
September 24, 2009 5:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
making fun of Glenn Beck should be considered immoral, like kicking someone drunk/
September 24, 2009 6:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think I read that three rights make a left.
It must be true.
September 24, 2009 8:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bwakfat: Pete and Repete were in a boat, Pete fell out, who is LEFT?
September 25, 2009 6:21 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well I'm glad somebody finally noticed.
September 24, 2009 10:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, we just don't make a big deal about the obvious. Because, when you're right and you know it, clap your hands.
September 24, 2009 11:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
United we stand, divided we fall. Fall is just about here, and Iam right. Who is the finial authority on what is right, and what is wrong? Give up? Thanks, but no its not me. God! is, and guess what? we will all answer to him in the end, yes even me. It does'nt matter if you believe or not you will find out wont you? My thoughts for now.
September 25, 2009 5:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
If you keep doing the same thing over expecting different resualts, but keep getting the same failed resualts, then you are insane. If you chose not to listen to any one's opinion, then you become blind to your own faults. A dictator rules this way.
September 25, 2009 6:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Couldn't I just answer to you? I hear you grade on a curve.
September 25, 2009 1:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
My fight is not with you,but with the devil. Your soul is God's concern. He accepts you as you are, then the changes are made between you and God. Iam out of that deal. My job is to present you with the Word of God, if you dont accept it then I move on, and dust off my feet.
September 26, 2009 9:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
If I see him I'll tell the devil the guy with clean feet is looking for him.
September 26, 2009 10:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
You dont have to go vary far, just listen to your thoughts. The thought life is the battle field. You have the freedom of will to chose what thoughts you want to. It is a matter of how long you enterain the bad ones, befor you catch them and get rid of them. Ok comic releief dude.
September 26, 2009 9:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
So I can dial up in the devil or god like I have a cheap radio tuner in my head? Thanks for the advice but I don't have demons in my cerebral cortex trying to lead me into temptation. In short I know right from wrong.
September 26, 2009 11:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
If you would like to, read 2 Corinthians 10:1-6, But first ask God for wisdom, insight, knowledge,and understanding of this word as I read. He will give it to thoes that ask. Demon possession is not what Iam refering to. You can have thoughts that were planted there by the devil. Growing up someone could have said something like You will never amount to anything. If you rethink that thought over and over through the years it can build a strong hold in your mind. You have to catch that thought and use God's word in place of it. Like I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength. When you have God's word as a fondation, in which to compare with other thoughts, then you know right from wrong.
September 27, 2009 8:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
When someone tells you you'll never amount to anything it was that person saying it, not the devil planting that thought in your head. I think discouraging children like that is a despicable thing to do. If it happened to you I feel sorry for you.
I never had that problem. As a white male and quick study with an outgoing personality as a child I was given the impression by most everybody I came in contact with I could succeed at anything I tried. That hasn't always happened but I've never lost my positive mental outlook and optimism.
September 27, 2009 12:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
That was an example. Moving right along, do you know what it means to be born again? In order to understand spititual things, you have to be spiritual. God does not even consider you a spiritual baby untill you become born again, otherwise you depend on your five sences knowledge.
September 28, 2009 7:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well thanks for telling me how you think god thinks and what he considers.
September 29, 2009 12:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
All you got to do is become born again, read Romans 10:9,10, then start reading "HIS", Word, God's Word, the Bible, that is God's thoughts. May God Bless you.
September 29, 2009 5:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well actually I think the bible is the words of the folks who wrote it and translated it over the last two thousand years. Thanks but I like who I am and if there's a god he probably likes who and how I am too.
September 29, 2009 8:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
Allah be praised.
September 29, 2009 9:21 AM | Reply | Permalink
And you will find out in the end. Well I have done my part. My prayer: Thank you One true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and, Jacob, not of Ishmael. Thank you for removing the vail from this man's head, so he may be able to see the truth of your Word, in Christ Jesus name, amen.
September 29, 2009 9:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
And a Hari Krishna to you. In Satan's name - Bill
September 30, 2009 12:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
If I didn't know this was hossenfeffer, I'd swear it was carrots.
September 25, 2009 6:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
Of course you are right.
When truth meets in the middle the compromise benefits everyone!
Like feeding children.
If they have food today they don't need food tomorrow!
Brilliant of you to point this all out to the rest of us!!
September 25, 2009 8:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
In the town of Lake Wobegon "all the children are above average".
In the USA 80% of people rate themselves as above average drivers.
See the Wikipedia article listed below for a description of the Lake Wobegon Effect.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Wobegon_effect#In_driving_ability
September 25, 2009 9:18 AM | Reply | Permalink