Does it give you pleasure to interrupt policy meetings by screaming out angry slogans? Do you laugh and feel hopeful when television pundits joke about murdering Nancy Pelosi? When right-wing extremists commit murder, do you give them the benefit of the doubt? Do you think Barack Obama is a Kenyan Anti-Christ bent on destruction of the United States?

Hi, I'm William K. Wolfrum, and if any of these above examples apply to you, you just might be an Angry Racist Douchebag. Here at "William K. Wolfrum's Angry Racist Douchebag Happy Fun Camp," we work hard with each individual to help decrease their inner angry racist douchebaggery in a positive, fun atmosphere.

At "William K. Wolfrum's Angry Racist Douchebag Happy Fun Camp," we follow a simple philosophy - that Angry Racist Douchebags need to be interned somewhere in the woods until they're no longer a threat to American citizens. Whether it's an Angry Racist Douchebag coming in on their own, or being sent to us by worried friends and relatives, our staff of hard-working counselors are ready to help.

Some of the programs we have at "William K. Wolfrum's Angry Racist Douchebag Happy Fun Camp" include:

Archery

"Other People Have Feelings" seminar

Obama is black. Deal. 101

Threatening to Kill People is Bad 101

"Stop Being Passionate About Things You Don't Understand" - as performed by the William K. Wolfrum's Angry Racist Douchebag Happy Fun Camp Players.

Paintball, and;

Glenn Beck is a Piece of Crap - Advanced Course

All that and much, much more. Because at "William K. Wolfrum's Angry Racist Douchebag Happy Fun Camp," we treat all our campers like real people, even when they refuse to grant us that same respect. We work hard to show our campers that their opinions aren't the only opinions in the world and that living in an actual society is a good thing.

As an added bonus, campers will be served fine meals from "Granny Johnson's House of Hamburgers." While no punch will be served, our campers will continue leading the well-fed lifestyle they've grown to love. Plus, campers can have fun at the old swimmin' hole, go horseback riding, learn how to tie a variety of knots and be tasered repeatedly until they're happy, well-adjusted people rather than angry racist douchebags.

So come on down to "William K. Wolfrum's Angry Racist Douchebag Happy Fun Camp." Just $4,500 per six-month program and conveniently located at FEMA Camp #44 on Route 17 near Boise, Idaho. At "William K. Wolfrum's Angry Racist Douchebag Happy Fun Camp," we have the individual programs that you need to stop being an Angry Racist Douchebag. Call now, and the first taser will be on us.

-WKW