Here's how to close Guantanamo, make Licky Dick Cheney and the Village Incontinents happy, while protecting our citizens from the rampaging hordes of IslamoTerrorGangs that will soon be running wild in the streets:

We simply transfer authority over the detainees to the US Fish and Wildlife Service,where they would be subject to the "catch and release" provisions that now only apply to fish.

But here's the difference---they could only be released into commercial game farms or the newly weaponized National Parks, where Dick and his hunting buddies like Scalia, or average armed-to-the-teeth Americans could mow them down. They could then be stuffed and mounted as trophies or barbequed and eaten "Texas (or Wyoming) Style"

This program would enjoy the advantage of avoiding messy trials and judicial hand-wringing.