When oh when are the Republicans?
I can hear their faint echo but I just can't place the era.
I was driving my electric car and I swear I heard them on satellite radio.
"Drill baby drill!" "Clean cough-cough-cough-cough-excuse me coal!"
That's them, right?
Something very bizarre is going on with Republicans. Their bodies are in the 21st century. But their voices. They have a scratchy old 1920s first- transatlantic-broadcast quality. The two don't occupy the same place at the same time. It's like the consequence of a teleportation mishap.
There's a time difference between their bodies and their minds. I believe 100 years separate the two.
Maybe reaching across the aisle isn't enough. Maybe we need to reach across the space-time continuum.
We all need to be in the present, moving forward together through the 21st century.
Truth be told, we'll never resolve this impasse politically. But re-calibrating a rift in the fabric of space-time. At least that's a theoretical possibility. So where's the rift? We know it's on the Republican side of the aisle. My guess is that it originates beneath Mitch McConnell's seat in the Senate Chamber. Maybe the rift IS Mitch McConnell. He flickers like a hologram sometimes.
There. Did you hear that?
"Cut taxes and lower spending."
Must locate Republican audio beacon.
I knew something was awry. I watched David Gregory interview John Boehner on Meet the Press. Boehner's body was there, or rather, here, in 2009. But his voice, his consciousness is, well, not of this time.
"Government is too big".
Kitt Bond's body is playing the same soundtrack that Boehner's is.
Who else but Republicans argue as a collective body, devoid of individuality or original thought?
I'm telling you, these guys are dislodged. Lost in the past. But they're in the same year, decade, whatever. That I know. The sound quality is identical. I know the sound of a victrola when I hear it.
"Close-Gitmo-and-you'll-have-terrorists-on-the-loose-playing-bingo-in Kansas-you-want-to-play-bingo-with-terrorists-in-Kansas-because-that's-what-will happen."
Note the distinct lack of subtlety. The run-on jump in logic.
Oh, it's them alright.
If we could only pinpoint when in time they are. The source of the audio transmission. Maybe use cosmic background radiation.
We should call SETI to see if they're picking this signal up.
Or are they only listening for signs of intelligent life?