tomgnh's Blog

Time for the New Memo

2010-08-20T10:49:14Z

Well, the Mosque issue seems to be about played out. My local paper has 250 comments under the story, just about anybody who is anybody has been forced to opine (what of W.?), and now Grover Nordquist and a couple of others are warning this could backfire, as in bring retribution, on the Republicans.
So I think it's time for the new Outrage! There must be some new campaign waiting in the wings to grab the headlines. Republicans use outrage the way the rest of us use sex- a little titillation, working its way to a culmination, and then sitting back in the afterglow and ignoring the mess that's been made.
But I have two questions.
1. Who really decides what the next Outrage will be?
2. Who has possession of the Memo?
And- just for fun, does anyone have any idea what will become the new Threat to America? School? food labels? NASA? Luxembourg?

Martin Luther King's Birmingham demands are "Insensitive", opponents charge

2010-08-16T21:23:13Z

Birmingham, Alabama, April, 1963- Religious leaders have called Martin Luther King "insensitive" to the emotions of white southerners in his campaign against segregation of Negroes in Birmingham, Alabama. His continuing campaign in the streets has resulted in a backlash of intolerance against those he champions.

"Look, we know Negroes have rights, and the Constitution protects those rights, but do they have to do it here?" asked a Baptist clergyman. "We're a stronghold of the KKK, and it's an insult to them. All good white southerners want justice, but is this the way to do it? If there is violence, King won't have to look farther than the mirror to find the man responsible."

In an on-the-street interview, a white factory worker said "I saw him praying on the streets. I think he's using prayer as an excuse to get what he wants."

"Maybe we can compromise, and let them exercise their constitutional rights in the next county," said a Methodist leader. "And him a Christian! If he were Moslem like those New York fellows..."

King, under arrest and being held in the Birmingham Jail, is rumored to be preparing a response.

Obama can't seem to sing & dance

2010-08-14T21:11:18Z

Obama called for tolerance in Arizona and in NYC, in the face of the wave of Know-Nothing intolerance sweeping the country.

"Our President doesn't do what the People want," I hear the Tea Partiers grumble.
"The polls show his actions aren't popular!" the Right intones.
"Most of the People disapprove!" Fox gloats.
But let's remember the kind of "leader" they seem to be calling for.

Charles Durning, the first ludicrous governor of Texas to make it big on the national scene:

Source- "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas"
Source- "The Best Little WHorehouse in Texas"
Of course, when Bush was President, the Right didn't care that the President was ignoring the People. But I did.
It's like Federalism- if you tell me who is in power, I will tell you their position on the use of power.
It's like Judicial activism- tell me if you agree with a decision, I'll tell you if you think it's activism.

Christian Church proposed in Mass.

2010-08-12T17:29:06Z

A board of Christian community leaders has proposed the construction of a Christian facility in Brookline, MA, mere blocks from the scene of the killing of two health-clinic workers by Christian extremists in 1994. Local activists and national organizations have expressed outrage over the lack of sensitivity expressed.

"My God, do we have to relive this every time we walk past that church?" Imelda Rosenwald-McCarthy Patel asked, staring at the vacant lot across the street. "Isn't once enough?"

Shannon Lowney and Lee Ann Nichols were killed by a non-suicide bomber as they worked the office of the health clinic, which was targeted by the extremist, a recruit of a radical Christian group dedicated to spreading its view, and declaring the use of Christian principles in American law as its goal.

"The shadow of the spire will cross the parking lot the killer used," said an unnamed protestor. "How can they be so insensitive to our suffering?"

"The purpose of our church will be outreach, understanding, and healing," said cleric Robert "Father Bob" Emerson, who was educated at the Harvard Seminary just five miles from the proposed site.

"Healing? Bull pucky!" said Patel. "They just want to rub our faces in our pain. How can anyone stand a Christian church in their neighborhood after what we've been through. It's only been 16 years."

"I smell a plot by an unnamed small theocratic country located inside Italy!"

California in 2010 = South Carolina in 1956

2010-08-12T13:41:16Z

As the courts further act on the issue of gay marriage, it might be instructive to harken back to the 1950s, when initial rulings on school integration were in the news.
What is the argument regarding gay marriage? It's unnatural; it offends popular sentiment and flies in the face of public opinion; and it would further encourage homosexuality. And don't call "defenders of marriage" bigoted or prejudiced- that's not true.
Back in the 1950s the South did not simply terrorize, burn and kill to defend segregation; it argued in courts and in the public media. One of the most eloquent and reasoned appeared in November 1956 in the Atlantic Monthly, then as now published in Boston. The writer was Herbert Ravenel Sass, a noted southern author.
His argument was that the South was being unfairly labeled prejudiced. He argued that feelings of racism are natural.

"[One] word which is doing grave damage to the to the South today is "prejudice" meaning race prejudice- a causeless hostility often amounting to hatred which white Southerners are alleged to feel in regard to the Negro... Not prejudice but preference is the word that truth requires... Preference is a natural reaction to facts and conditions observed and experienced... and through the action of heredity generation after generation it becomes instinctive. Like separateness, it exists throughout the animal kingdom... The individuals of one race prefer as a rule to associate with other individuals of that race..."

Therefore the position of southern racists was simply defending the natural order-

In preferring its own race and in striving to prevent the destruction of that race by amalgamation with another race, the white South is not flouting Nature but is in harmony with her..."

Now, what is the best way to defend the "natural order"? By defending racial separation. Why? Because

...[T]he elementary public schools is the most critical of those areas of activity where the South must and will at all costs maintain separateness of the races. The South must do this because, although it is a nearly universal instinct, race preference is not active in the very young. Race preference (which the propagandists miscall race prejudice or hate) is one of those instincts which develop gradually as the mind develops and which, if taken in hand early enough, can be prevented from developing at all.
Hence if the small children of the two races in approximately equal numbers -- as would be the case in a great many of the South's schools -- were brought together intimately and constantly and grew up in close association in integrated schools under teachers necessarily committed to the gospel of racial integration, there would be many in whom race preference would not develop.

The "natural" preference must be taught, or at least not allowed to be undermined.
But what will happen if "race preference" is not defended?

It would inevitably result, beginning with the least desirable elements of both races, in a great increase of racial amalgamation, the very process which throughout our history we have most sternly rejected. For although to most persons today the idea of mixed mating is disagreeable or even repugnant, this would not be true of the new generation brought up in mixed schools with the desirability of racial integration as a basic premise. Among those new generations mixed matings would become commonplace, and a greatly enlarged mixed-blood population would result.

Why is segregation the right thing? Because it defends society against unpopular tolerance of an unnatural attraction that would lead to increased numbers of abominable marriages.
I thought I had heard all this before.

A Snapshot of the Economy

2010-08-08T23:17:57Z

My daughter wants a patio but, as a teacher, is pinching pennies. My wife saw a Craigslist ad for 800 paving blocks. The asking price was $400, not a bad deal; but my wife emailed we only had $150 to spend, about 20% the value of the pavers.
Two days later the poster called to (rather desperately) ask if we were still interested. We were, and drove out to pick them up. (five trips in a small pickup)

The home was for sale.

For $2.3 million.

Dick Cheney for Energy Czar

2010-07-26T12:03:14Z

After being scared shitless by both BP and a VP, I have slowly come to the conclusion that I would like to counter one with the other. I recommend Dick Cheney for the position of Energy Czar.

I know, I know, fox in the henhouse and all that, but hear me out. There are a few reasons for this, but it boils down to his ability to protect this country from threats despite any arguments from the opposition or the Constitution.

Dick Cheney cares for America, and will go to almost any lengths to secure our great nation from external threat. Right? Well, what would be worse, a terrorist attack or an uncontrollable deep-water wellhead blowout, releasing millions of barrels of oil and oodles of methane hydrates? You gotta give the wellhead some credence- ask Louisiana.

But, you may retort, that was an accident, and chances of anything like that happening are very small. Dick Cheney doesn't care how small the chance of risk is- the size of the risk justifies extreme action. That was his "One Percent Doctrine", which when applied to terrorism stated "If there's a 1% chance that Pakistani scientists are helping al-Qaeda build or develop a nuclear weapon, we have to treat it as a certainty in terms of our response. It's not about our analysis ... It's about our response." He ran roughshod over enemies, allies, the Bill of Rights, Congress, the Congressional Budget Office, and even Google in his single-minded eyes-on-the-ball approach.

I figure, since the possibility of another oil catastrophe exists, and one can reasonably argue that it could be as bad for the country as a terrorist attack (One need not say "would"- "could" will suffice under the 1% Doctrine), Cheney would have no hesitation in applying the same standard and prohibiting deep-water drilling. "I'm absolutely convinced that the threat we face now... is very real and that we have to use extraordinary measures to deal with it," he would say again. And no thinking about it- analysis loses to response. Just ask Iraq.

BP will tremble when it reads Cheney's observation that "There comes a time when deceit and defiance must be seen for what they are. At that point, a gathering danger must be directly confronted. At that point, we must show that beyond our resolutions is actual resolve." Now that I think about it, maybe I know why Tony Hayward is looking for a way out.

There may be legal hurdles to prohibiting deep water drilling, but Dick Cheney has never let that stand in the way of he sees as crucial to the safety of the country. As he said, "It will be necessary for us to be a nation of men, and not laws."

I am confident Cheney will not let the rights of those involved stand in the way of the protection of America's coastlines and common working Americans- those he has always cared for most.

Country first, right? His heart is in the right place, isn't it?

Besides the hospital, I mean.

Play the Breitbart Game!!

2010-07-24T20:33:40Z

Have you heard the new game? How well can you twist the meaning of a comment or article by a simple "contraction"? It's a tough competition; the original twisted a civil rights memoir into a racist rant. That takes some skill, but since we are all amateurs we can work our way up to greatness.

No scoring- we don't want to encourage elitist ambitions.

I'll start. This is a quote from "Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics"- their write-up of Congressman Roy Blunt that would by no means bother a Republican about a candidate:

" In 2003, Rep. Blunt divorced his wife of 31 years to marry Philip Morris (now Altria) lobbyist Abigail Perlman. Before it was known publicly that Rep. Blunt and Ms. Perlman were dating - and only hours after Rep. Blunt assumed the role of Majority Whip - he tried to secretly insert a provision into Homeland Security legislation that would have benefitted Philip Morris, at the expense of competitors. Notably, Philip Morris/Altria and its subsidiaries contributed at least $217,000 to campaign committees connected to Rep. Blunt from 1996 to 2006."

See? No problem to a GOP voter. (We won't ask what else he tried to insert- that's another game.)

Now, with a little "Breitbarting," we can make it unbearably offensive to his most loyal backers-

"In 2003, Rep. Blunt divorced his wife of 31 years to marry Philip Morris (now Altria) lobbyist Abigail Perlman. Before it was known publicly that Rep. Blunt and Ms. Perlman were dating - and only hours after Rep. Blunt assumed the role of Majority Whip - he tried to secretly insert a provision into Homeland Security legislation that would have benefitted Philip Morris, at the expense of competitors. Notably, Philip Morris/Altria and its subsidiaries contributed at least $217,000 to campaign committees connected to Rep. Blunt from 1996 to 2006."

to get

"In 2003, Rep. Blunt divorced his wife of 31 years to marry Philip Morris."

And if I am challenged, I'll just say "I rely on what I am given. I don't check the accuracy."

See? It's fun. Try it yourself.

Afghanistan v. Vietnam- Some things are clichés because they are true.

2010-07-24T13:33:24Z

As Mark Twain said, "It's a lot easier to get in than to get out."

The parallels to Vietnam are overwhelming:
1. We are committed to solving political issues by military means.
2. We are committed to establish a government from outside.
3. The installed government is rife with corruption, often based on clan.
4. The adversary has popular support. (Who can say whether or not a majority?)
5. The adversary can use violence to achieve its ends, but our use of violence does not forward our interests.
6. The adversary has cross-border sanctuaries.
7. Our initial optimism based on our high-tech advantages has run into the reality of guerilla war.
8. The administration is trapped between unrealistic demands for withdrawal and militaristic calls for more blood. A moderate position is politically untenable.
9. The out party will use signs of moderation as political issues in the election.
10. Most Americans know diddly about Afghanistan. (Which is more populous- it or Iraq?)
11. Our goals have muddled, and mismanagement going back to 2002 has led to popular frustration, both here and on the battlefield. Now we are not even clear on what "win" means, and that is when policy becomes tragedy becomes irony becomes farce.
12. Social Goals are sacrificed under budget worries- it's guns over butter.
We will not win. The question is how we will get out. Obama is like the political opponent of the King of Siam, who is given a White Elephant as a gift- he can't give it away, but feeding him will break him.

Obama has said he will get us next next year. I'll give him that, but if not it's time for more marches like 1965.

Let's start getting serious

2010-07-20T20:41:10Z

The well is capped. Kinda. Maybe.
We dodged a bullet. Right? If we trust BP, anyway.
Big if.
So now we can go back to normal, and drill, Baby. This was only an accident. Which, apparently, means to many that it couldn't happen again.
Bullshit.
"We need the oil"- unless we save a little.
"We need the jobs", if picking up sludge with a shovel outside a luxury hotel is the oil industry's idea of putting us to work.
The media seems to be moving on, the concerns about the integrity of the Gulf seafloor are no longer news, and the Spill will be an unfond memory, at least for those of us who would prefer cheap energy to environmental, economic, social, regional and national security. "Dwelling on this will only prevent us from dealing with the Present," to quote Teabaggers on the Bush Spill.
I have a better idea- let's START GETTING SERIOUS.
In 1942 the government took idle factories and started making stuff to blow up in other countries, and did it inefficiently, and when it was done none of the stuff was worth much of anything, but the depression ended and after three years of sacrifice people had lots of money to spend, and the economy grew healthily despite 90% top tax brackets.....

Our parents and grandparents didn't die from it. The country was stronger once all that sacrifice was over, and they could call themselves the Greatest Generation. All we do is whine.

So let's get serious. Take an auto plant and start making wind turbines. Take an idle plant and start making PV panels. Hire people. Give companies contracts to pad and cheat on like they did in WWII. Ration energy & petrochemical goods in the name of national security. Have a public-relations campaign to get people to at least put their cars in neutral at a light, or even better turn them off if the wait is more than 10 seconds. Turn social opprobrium on someone who wastes gas. Car-pool.

But nooooo, that would be like social engineering, and the government would get too strong, and we would suffer. And taxes might go up. All of which happened in WWII, but those who objected back then were seen as traitors. Now they're just "conservative."

Well, mainstream America fought efforts to prepare for war in 1939-41; I guess Americans really don't want to suck it up until the catastrophe strikes.
But I sorta thought BP had created a catastrophe; think we'll need something worse before we get serious?

A Modest(y) Proposal

2009-06-24T17:36:36Z

Ah, New Hampshire politicos. We've come a long way from asking for nuclear weapons to deter street protest or plying islands with liquor to leave their families, but there's still a little curmudgeonly behavior being exhibited.
Witness Judd Gregg, senior senator from the Granite State, who fought through the disadvantages of having a father who was governor to success (unlike his former fellow senator John Sununu, whose father was a senator- we like our elected representatives self-made).

He is so tight with a buck- which we like- that those signs announcing your stimulus dollars at work gall him enough to propose legislation to stop this outrageous waste of money.

A terrible waste! Unlike other signs designating the "Judd Gregg Meteorology Institute," funded by $500,000 in federal money to Plymouth State University. Or "The Judd Gregg Library" sign, dedicated after Gregg secured $150,000 for the Nashua Policy Athletic League. Or the "Gregg Hall" sign at the University of New Hampshire, dedicated after Gregg secured $266 million in federal funds for the university.
Not that he is alone- Murtha Airport, Kennedy Library (the Ted one, in Mass.)... etc.

So I would like to support his legislation- with one amendment-

"No federally funded program may carry the name of any living member or former member of Congress, or any member of their families, living or dead."

Think of the savings!

A Father's Day Thought

2009-06-19T22:43:22Z

A few years ago I had four high school history classes- two high-level (college prep), two low-level (remedial). I was curious whether there was any commonality, and I had a little time to kill.
The kids had filled out information cards, and I began to hand-sort them.

Maybe zip codes, which could be class? Nope, no pattern.

The Lou Dobbs Effect? Ethnicity? No, that wasn't it.

Astrology?- Birthdays? No.

And then I had an idea. I created two piles. One was for kids who had listed as their guardian a male with the same last name. The other pile was everyone else.

And presto. That pile was my top classes, with one exception. The other pile was my low-achievers, again with one exception.

But the first exception was arrested in the winter and left school; the second was a Down Syndrome kid, who was flourishing despite that.

I post this with no conclusion drawn. Just an anecdote.

Happy Father's Day.

It's hard being a Red Sox fan

2009-06-12T03:20:32Z

It's hard being a Red Sox fan.

Not that it's not fun, mind you. Especially in the middle of sweeping a third series from the Yankees. Ortiz is hitting, the pitching is good, the Manny move worked out "wicked awesome," Bay and Pedroia are terrific- I could go on and on. And coming back in the eighth inning! Sweet!

But that's why it's hard. No one remembers that it's not supposed to be this way.

See, this is New England. Rock-ribbed. Dour. Tight-lipped. "You can't get there from here" people. Here in New Hampshire the state gem is granite. The state vine is poison ivy. The state bird is flipped in traffic.

It goes way back. Pilgrims and Puritans came here to be able to have less fun than others were having in "Merrie Olde England"- and they succeeded. OK, the Pilgrims first landed at Provincetown, on Cape Cod, but it was December. Ever been in P'town in December and you're not gay? no fun. So after agreeing in the Mayflower Compact that they would democratically enforce the no fun rules, they got back into the ship, even though they were out of beer, and went to Plymouth to survive and make a living.

Doing what? Well, fishing- catching cod in icy waters using hand-cutting nets, then salting the fish (and their hands) to create a culinary delicacy that goes "thunk" when you throw it into the pan. They ate it and they liked it. It suited them. If a people are known by their food, and you think Parisian crepes and Italian spumoni, think Boston brown bread. Boston baked beans. (baked beans on Saturday night, six hours of church on Sunday- you think that was coincidental?)

Or they farmed. In New England. (Remember "Granite State"?) The only thing tougher than the land were the trees that grew from it and the (not NY) Yankees who cut them down. It took 200 years to clear the land; those stone walls are where the farmer said "Screw it- that's far enough." ("Egad- that sufficeth.")

Then they invented (OK, stole) the Industrial Revolution. They let the stone walls slip back into the woods and moved off the cleared land into the new "slums" so they could work in "factories" and get paid "shit". A lot of them stayed behind to raise "sheep," an animal so dumb that if it does what you told it to do, it's because you guessed right. (And not nearly as good company as some would have you think.)

We were a mixed society. Immigrants came and stayed, welcomed by riots and exploitation, and they liked it. Oh, a lot said "This sucks- what's out West?" and sought an easier life in coal mines and on the Plains. But the ones who stayed were a sturdier breed. They bought the New England Creed- "Life is to be endured."

That's why, for oh, God so long, the Red Sox were the perfect New England team. They were to be endured. Their history is full of "to be endured."

They won the World Series in 1918; OK, but what were Bostonians doing in the street that very day? Dying of Spanish Flu, and a lot of people died as a result of the Red Sox attracting that crowd. Not many victorious teams can make that claim.

And then the Curse. Babe goes to New York, "No, No Nannette" goes to Broadway, and Boston goes to pot. But we all know the story.

The Jews were the Chosen People who wandered for forty years; Red Sox fans weren't Chosen- they were Singled Out, and were lost for four score and six. They were the Duchy of Grand Fenwick to New York's New York.

And the losses! It wasn't just losing- it was losing with style. Winning ("tying for") the pennant but losing a playoff in '48 was the "high point" between by dad seeing the 1918 team and me meeting Don Buddin and Bob "he-runs-like-there's-a-safe-on-his-back" Tillman, who was once thrown out at first on a liner to right.

Rally caps? Please. The rallying cry in the Dark Years was to grab the empty seats on either side of you and bang them. The venders sold bread; the drink was vinegar; the Green Monster was envy.

Then success began to come- almost. Victory for the Sox was used as a masochistic tool to amplify the pain.

1967- "The Impossible Dream": win the pennant by sitting in the clubhouse watching two other teams lose more than you, go to the World Series, trail 3 games to 1, then come roaming back to be able to lose game 7.

1975- The Sox win game 6- "The Greatest Game ever Played" on Fisk's home run, just to blow the lead in game 7 in the NINTH INNING! (sorry)

1978- Come roaring back in the last week to tie the Yankees (after blowing a 14-game lead) to force the Yankees into a playoff. Bucky F---ing Dent. (BUCKY DENT???)

1986- The Game 6 collapse, Bill Buckner, when we were ONE STRIKE AWAY!!! (sorry.)

2003- He left Pedro in??!!?? Aaron Boone in extra innings. (AARON BOONE???) And what game? Game 7. What opponent? Yankees.

But then the Sun came out. 2004. Pennant. Series. Victory. (In my case the curse lasted just a bit longer; as Damon was hitting the Grand Slam against the Yankees I got a call that a favorite student was hit by a bus [she's fine, but I haven't completely forgiven her.])

2007. Pennant. Series. Victory.

And tonight the Sox take a ninth straight game from the Yankees.

All that's left of the Way It's Supposed to Be are the seats at Fenway.

It's hard being a Red Sox fan.

But it's fun! (knock on wood.)

Why I live in New Hampshire

2009-06-10T13:34:54Z

Why DO I live in New Hampshire? Why do I stay here?

I'm convinced that for most it's simply an accidental byproduct of Massachusetts tax law. If you look at a globe, the angle of slope at 45° latitude is- well, 45°, and that kind of slope shouldn't be tried. Better to stay further south and admit the effort isn't worth it. I mean, what do people say is fun in New Hampshire?

•Ice fishing. Sitting in a room you dragged onto the lake with your $30,000 Dodge Ram and hope to get back with your friend's $500 pickup because the ice is melting, fighting the carbon monoxide and smell of wool socks in the hopes that your line will jiggle and $10 worth of food will rise through the ice. (If you mention that the same effect can be achieved by dangling the cord of your robe onto the floor from the end of the bed, you will get stares.)

•The foliage. "The trees are dying again; where's the damn rake?"

•Swimming. From July until early August you can swim and still find your testicles.

•Skiing. We have some of the finest EMT's in the country.

•Boating. There's a state liquor store right where all those Jetskis are parked.

•Snowmobiling. I wonder why the hardware store sells so much chain to landowners in December.

•The Old Man in the Mountain. well, not any more; but the state legislature is maybe gonna put it back if they can figure out how to do it for free.

It might be for the ocean fun, if you can fit onto what John Hodgman called our "fifteen miles of novelty coastline."

When I moved to NH the Governor was Meldrim Thomson, who attempted to convince Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket to secede from the People's Republic of Massachusetts and join with the Granite State by placing a bottle of liquor on the podium and comparing prices (seriously), and whose idea of domestic tranquility was equipping the National Guard with nuclear weapons in case of insurrection. Seriously. When the Bay State sent troopers to packies (liquor stores to the rest of you) to catch people (customers/smugglers) loading their cars with what Mass. called contraband but we regard as a positive balance of payments, Thomson had them arrested for loitering. When Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman spoke at UNH he called out the National Guard and had the kid who invited them arrested. When a gay students organization surfaced he threatened to close the University. When speeders passed his official car he had his trooper driver pull them over so he could personally ticket them.

Seriously. Served three terms. A good majority of the voters loved him.

We had our own little William Randolph Hearst for a time- William Loeb, who was called a lot of things but probably never Bill to his face. Terrorized any candidate who wanted to be president and had the temerity to challenge his beliefs, which were not unlike Thomson's, but extreme. And when he died his third wife Nacky- seriously- kept the fire ablaze.

Our state finances are managed by a kid who knows Quicken. No sales or income tax, but to hear natives talk the state pisses money, mostly paid by property taxes. And meals taxes. And hotel taxes. And gas taxes. And low cigarette taxes. And state-run liquor stores (but we aren't socialist!). By the way, if you think about it, they are all targeted at our favorite migratory animal- out-of-staters, who come for the skiing, and ice-fishing, and snowmobiling, and foliage, and...

The race track near my house burned down a while back, and the state balanced its budget by keeping the liquor stores open 24 hours a day. But no drive-thru- we have standards.

And I'm not worried about any deficits. Check the map- we hold Maine hostage. We have the most expensive 20 miles of toll road in the country, and if you want to get out of Maine you'll smile and pay.

So why do I live in NH?

I just told you.

Who IS Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

2009-06-10T01:17:46Z

Just an interesting story to add to my earlier post. I know all my fellow started-out-to-be-English-majors will appreciate it.

I went from a small working-class high school to a relatively prestigious East Coast liberal arts college, the product of many teachers who kept everyone happy by asking a little and grading us well. As a teacher, I later fought against this, but at the time I thought it was great. Except that I was totally unprepared. Just to give you an idea of the mismatch, most kids there were "preppies," because they were from prep schools. As the product of a public school, I and several others were- ready?- "pubies."

My freshman advisor- an English professor, of course- hosted a sherry party. Now, not having drunk for real before, I thought the idea of getting drunk on sherry was pretty classy, and the sick feeling that washed over me was my own failing. (There is a deeper significance to this I may explore later.)

The advisor approached two of us- probably because we looked the most uncomfortable- and said casually "You know the play 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" It was a play, too? I thought, but wisely said "Yeah, sure."

"See that couple over there?" pointing to the Chairman of the department and his wife, who (I later realized) was flouncing across the room with him in tow.

"Yeah?"

"They are George and Martha."

She *was* kinda flouncing. "Yeah, I get it."

No- THAT is George and THAT is Martha."

"Yeah, like the play," my soon-to-be-ex-fellow-English-major said. "We get it."

"Listen to me," the advisor said slowly. "That man is George, and his wife is Martha. For real."

And then he explained. Edward Albee's career as a student at my college was short-lived and memorable, but the decision to make it short was the decision of the English Department Chair. Albee was not so sweetly asked not to return, and later on got his revenge with the creation of his play.

So in highbrow circles, the couple was honored by inclusion in a major work of American literature, but I sometimes wonder if, in the quiet of his study, late at night, Albee wasn't working really hard and really well just to make sure they were well and truly punk'd.