Real Housewife of Alaska: Juneau-Wasilla-Arizona-The World Version: An Endless Saga of Buffoonery
I was alerted just one hour before the Governor of Alaska; Sarah Palin arrived with her family in Arizona. The plane touched down and this family stepped off the plane, there were several of them, I'd seen her somewhere before, at first I wasn't quite sure where? Finally I heard someone say, "Oh my God that is the Governor of Alaska and her family", they seemed to be as in the dark as I was, well, it didn't matter, I was just there to observe, takes notes and write the script for the upcoming show, and I was willing to give up the next few months to learn about their lives so we could hire just the right folks to give us the next series in the franchise, Real Housewives was already pretty popular for a cable network show, we figured a political Real Housewives would be a complete winner.
I sat down at a table with Sarah and Todd; they knew why I was there. We smiled at each other a bit uncomfortably, but there we all were in the backyard of a sitting US Senator who was running for President, his heiress wife and their children, well some of their children. The couple from Alaska looked bewildered and thrilled to be here, it was easy to see Sarah was enamored of Cindy McCain. She followed her with her eyes, everywhere Cindy McCain walked Sarah watched, she watched how she walked, how she softly swayed across the lawn, she was in some beautiful dress by a designer Sarah had never seen other than in a catalogue, she watched Cindy's jewelry, her shoes, her hair, to Sarah she looked like a princess. Todd; he was simply glad there was Bud light available, he didn't want any of the fancy crap available at the open bar, just a Bud Light. He muttered under his breath more than once about the fancy boys at the party. They seemed to disgust him, although he admired John, a man who gave so much for America, he just wondered why he had all these weasels surrounding him. He didn't like these men, but he'd made a deal with the devil, he'd keep his mouth shut, there would be no more of him having his own desk in his wife's office, he would officially be the spouse of an important official, the Vice President. He seemed confident they could help John McCain win it and that would be its own payoff, because next they would be in the Oval office and he could have a desk anywhere he wanted one. He'd sold his soul, but it happens to everyone once they begin to live their life on the stage.
Sarah continued to watch Cindy, she really wanted to shop somewhere that Cindy shopped, and she was oh-so-tired of The Limited, Wet Seal and the consignment shop. What was worse she had to go to Anchorage to get to either store! She did realize she was going to begin to get hers, and it was about time, she was confident, she knew she was a great journalist and governor, why as governor she'd accomplished so much, first and foremost she'd beaten that old crook, Frank Murkowski. That alone she felt was enough to help Alaska and enrich herself. She'd been a beauty queen, a journalist, on the city council, a mayor, and then governor and people really liked her. She had beliefs and she wanted everyone to know what they were.
I couldn't get over the fact she already had the appearance of a Real Housewife character! We couldn't have asked for more, her makeup and her look were over the top, I knew at the yearly gathering she would not just blend in, but really spur on sales of new Real Housewife franchises.
We could tell at the time her daughter was pregnant, it wasn't hard to see, and she was just 17. Wow, we'd really hit the jackpot with this family, we knew we were going to have a hit, and as you can see it hasn't stopped yet, even Levi has his own franchise, it was trailer court queen meets debutant, wow! I could see dollar signs in my eyes, I couldn't believe it, it was better than the Gene Simmons show, "Gene Simmons Family Jewels" this was going to be more edgy and "real". Blue Collar, Joe the Plumber real! While we sat there you could hear Dr. Hook in the background, it seemed odd at the time, but "Cover of the Rolling Stone" seems so prescient when I look back. Here I was with the new IT couple in politics, here began the saga of the Real Housewife of Alaska.
















I've never met an Alaskan. I will assume that many Alaskans have less respect for Sarah Palin than I. That is, certainly, my hope. If one of my sons brought Sarah to my home to introduce her as his new girlfriend, I would be forced, later, to warn him about the potential repercussions of getting involved with "poor white trailer trash." I can understand, vaguely, how Sarah was elected mayor. (Any port in a storm.) How she became a governor...I'll let Alaskans answer that. I will never understand how a chippy with her shallowness ever became a nominee for VP of the U.S.... Potentially, our president. What should my reaction be when there are, actually, citizens in my country that worship her? Is her popularity a prediction of events to come?
November 2, 2009 11:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well Chuck, if the Real Housewife's Franchise is any indication, Ms. Sarah will be around for a very long time! :{
November 2, 2009 11:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
tm...
I will spare you an old mans' rant about the utter shit offered-up as television entertainment.
November 3, 2009 1:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well, Ferraro was a VP nominee with even less experience. As far as experience goes, Obama had none as well. Two years in the Senate? Most of it spent campaigning? Come on!
November 3, 2009 7:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
And what of your experience, chihuahua, qualifies you even to pretend to sit in judgment? Set it out at length.
A moderately experienced President Barack Obama* is still a far better choice (and infinitely better human being) than either Ferraro or Caribou Barbie.
* I bet it just burns your sorry racist ass to see those words, doesn't it? Good. I relish your misery. Even your mild discomfort is somewhat amusing to me.
November 3, 2009 8:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
Oh these folks are so comedy challenged! :) I love it, they hate it. Oh poor BD, he just can't laugh, it isn't in his genes.. once he moved back to the trailer court with his mom, he wasn't the same!
I think on some other thread he accused me of not making much money, not paying taxes like him, he has such a chip on that shoulder... why is it all Cro-Magnon Republi-cons always want you to know how incredibly well fixed they are, I guess, if driving the cement truck makes you rich! Caribou Barbie, I'd forgotten that one! LOL!
November 3, 2009 8:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
To all the blithering idiots who think they deserve a good wage for driving a cement truck, I hope they realize it was organized labor that made that possible, not their own incredible driving skills.
Two months ago I heard Rush Limbaugh blaring out from a UPS truck. A Teamster making $25/hour, much more then the FedEx guy, stil working unlike the DHL guy, and in a complete trance from the hearing disabled, king of Hydrocodone.
November 3, 2009 1:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
My point was that it is easy for people to argue for higher taxes when they aren't going to be paying them. It is the height of selfishness to make someone else pay for the things you want. I supported lower tax rates when I was a kid in school, not because I ever dreamed I'd be paying them, but because I realized that they lead to higher economic growth. That and the basic unfairness of the tax code at that time with rates topping 70%. Democrats always propose to raise taxes on someone else to benefit their supporters. Mixing class envy with plain old greed and selfishness. Then they ironically accuse those who prefer to keep what they earned with being selfish for not wanting to let them trade it for political power.
November 3, 2009 2:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes your judgments about others are so fantastic, and right on, because you said so, and that of course is the bottom line with you, because you said so. You, however, know absolutely nothing about me or my financial situation, although I have no need to share that information with you, because unlike you loons, who want us all to know how rich you are, I personally don't care what you think of what I have or do not have. Although my Dali lithograph might give you an indication of what I may or may not have, oh you'd better google Salvador Dali, because you probably don't know of him. Mine is the sterling silver lithograph of Lincoln, purchased while the artist was still living. Oh no I may have divulged too much! It has been my experience that those who complain about taxes the most, pay the least, but they are those most easily duped by the republi-cons who set out to dupe the blue collar folks. Poor guy, you guys are always trying to prove something, your rich, your smart, your great and you know absolutely everything. But you are also challenged when it comes to comedy, why not go to funnyordie.com or the onion and learn something about humor, you might end up feeling happier. I am however, so happy for your wealth and smartness BD, someday I might even catch up with you... hahahahahahahaha... does that mean I have to move away Alki Point?
November 3, 2009 2:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well you still miss the larger point I was trying to make. I said most people are not paying much in taxes, the tax burden is very top loaded. I admitted that I now pay almost nothing in taxes, so cutting the tax rates now won't help me personally. The point was you were accusing people of being selfish for wanting to keep what they earned. I think it is selfish of you to want to take what someone else earned for your use. Democrats love to play Santa Claus, they just prefer to stick someone else with the bill.
November 3, 2009 3:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh BD you said I didn't pay much in taxes, your larger point actually is you don't want to pay for services, and that is fine as long as you don't receive services and that includes driving on the roads, flying on a plane, the water that comes into your house, the public school your children attended, your electricity, etc and so on. You all are just a bit dull, never thinking through the consequences of your own beliefs, which is more like a teenager than an adult. The adults understand (at least the adults who never played the credit card game, paid off our homes in 10 years and save as much as possible), these things must be paid for, democrats don't charge and spend like republicans, they tax and spend, because they know bills must be paid and not picked up by later generations.
November 3, 2009 3:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
WOW are you stupid! I mean I always knew you were an idiot, but this just takes the cake! First, I was responding to the poster who questioned Palin's experience, and pointed out that other's (including 'The ONE') had little or no experience also. Now, as to my qualifications to judge him in this matter, it is simply an observation of FACT. One need not be a military leader to observe Obama has no military experience. It is simply a fact. Likewise it is a fact he had no business experience, no executive experience, and very little legislative experience before running for President. These facts are not debatable, no matter how much a dim wit like you thinks otherwise.
November 3, 2009 2:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
And a more concise way of answering you is this. What qualifies me to judge him? The fact that I am a registered voter. That's how our system works.
November 3, 2009 2:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why are you so angry BD? Is there a real reason for your anger? Or are you just mad your life hasn't turned out as you wanted it and you are busy blaming everyone but yourself.
Here is a start, pay off your innumerable credit cards, ultimately you will feel happier.
November 3, 2009 2:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, once again you resort to personal attacks. You say I know nothing about your financial situation (because I made the comment that it's easy to advocate higher taxes when you aren't paying them), then proceed to claim I am a cement truck driver (which you somehow think disparaging), live in a trailer park, and can't pay off my credit cards. Well, sorry to disappoint you but I was able to retire in my 30's and am living quite well.
November 3, 2009 3:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
And using your standards, what in your miserable life qualified you to judge GW Bush? In what areas have you accomplished more than he?
November 3, 2009 2:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hmm, who is talking about GWB? All I did was write some satire about Sarah Palin and as usual you've had a meltdown over it. Remember BD you come here, you bleet like a little sheeple about your Queen Sarah, bring up every canard you can think of, I have not mentioned Bush in this blog at all, which means you did not read the blog. This fact however, does not surprise me. Make it up as you go, I realize satire is tough to understand, but every once in a while you should have some pride and read the blog before commenting.
November 3, 2009 7:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
The President of the United States was elected to the United States Senate in November of 2004. He took the oath in January of 2005. He was a Senator for four years.
You give yourself away here CB because you make the same error as Rush Limbaugh. I just saw him say the same thing during his softball interview with baby boy Wallace.
He was also a state senator in the Illinois Legislature from 1997 until 2004.
George W. Bush was governor of Texas for four years. He was able to kill a number of people by denying even one instance of clemency during his entire tenure in a state where the Governor had very little power.
This experience critique of President Obama by you and your idol rush is extremely shallow...
I can say that President Obama has already accomplished more good in ten months than George W. Bush did in eight years.
November 3, 2009 3:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bush was Governor from the start of 1995 to the end of 2000, almost 6 years. You can say that Obama has done more good in 10 months, but there is no evidence to back up that ridiculous claim.
November 3, 2009 6:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
no i cannot stop here. I cannot let this go.
WHAT IN THE FUCK HAS W EVER DONE FOR ANYBODY EVER?
Children have health insurance thanks to SCHIPS and Obama.
Women have rights in the workplace thanks to Obama.
We have secret memos from the nazi hero cheney.
We have job creation due to the legislation signed by Obama.
We have new edicts erasing the fascist edicts of w thanks to Obama.
WHERE IN THE HELL CAN I FIND ANYTHING THAT W EVER DID FOR ANYBODY, EVER.
November 3, 2009 7:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
CB cannot help it Dick, he seems to need attention, and hates satire about Queen Sarah. Oh well, jokes really on him. :) But I responded again too!
November 3, 2009 7:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
yes...it's all about the power and the special treats. Public service...not so much.
November 3, 2009 12:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Exactly.
November 3, 2009 7:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Excellent column. It would have been nice to be a fly on the wall the moment McCain realized he was going to lose big. I wonder how much thought went into picking her. Has anyone from that camp ever written of or given an interview about the mechanics involved in picking this trainwreck of a VP candidate? The planning and hatching of that idea would be something to watch and even record for future political operatives involved in the dispersement of campaign strategy and training material.
November 3, 2009 2:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you Russell, I have part II up now as well and will continue on as long as Sarah continues on!
November 3, 2009 2:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Poor jealous BullDog, humorless and dull, nothing to see here folks! He never stops!
November 3, 2009 3:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mac, good but strange blog. hahahaha.
But Flower has a nice blog about windmills and attempting to argue with this dog guy is a waste of good talent.
I say this after putting in my own response. hahaha
November 3, 2009 3:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's true, Dick, I like to egg him on occasionally, it is quite easy, especially because this is Satire..... I think he doesn't understand satire...
November 3, 2009 5:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Please bulldog....you cant really believe for a second that this GED challenged woman is anywhere near intelligent enough to even run Alaska, let alone the country. And least you forget, she quit on Alaska. You can spin it anyway you need so you can accept that she had "reasons" but at the end of the day, she's an ignorant quitter. If she were unattractive or a male she'd been run out of the news long ago! And shes not done yet, after she rips the republican party down to single digit numbers will she then be considered truly a rouge misfit! Comparing Palin to Ferraro is like comparing the guy who does the slap chop commercials to George Clooney. Not even in the same league!
November 3, 2009 4:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
They do believe it, so weird, but they do! And they don't like my satire.... hahahahaha... and that makes me quite happy.
November 3, 2009 6:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Boy, you've really got her down pat here...
November 6, 2009 12:02 PM | Reply | Permalink