OMG, it was more than beautiful. I was taking a short nap, I woke up way too early today. It was almost 3:12 PM PST, and I heard Tom Tancredo talking, well rambling really, anyway, he had just finished calling Health Reform, Nazism or Concentration Camp stuff , or some such crazy bullshit. Towing the republican line he was basically saying any government run program would kill you, this is what they always say of course.. So David Shuster, who was sitting in for Ed Shultz, proceeds to ask  Mr. Tancredo about the VA. Of course Mr. Tancredo reiterated that Veterans hate the VA and went on for a minute or two about how bad it was. Then Shuster turned to Markos Moulitsas, a veteran himself, and as he  spoke about the efficacy of the VA Tancredo kept yelling, so Markos then said I am a veteran Tom, unlike you I didn't take a 1-Y deferment, I volunteered and served! Oh Snap! You should have seen the look on Tom Tancredo''s face, holy shit, if he could have, he would have jumped through the screen and tried to beat Mr. Moulitsas, but it was hilarious. 1-Y  I've since found out is he claimed to be treated for depression, that at the time was regarded to be mental illness and unfit to serve. But dickipedia translates the incident best of all saying,  he got it for the long time mental illness called cowardice. But anyway, Mr. Tancredo was mad, OMG, so mad he yelled at Markos and then pulled his electronic gear off his body and stormed off the set, it was so awesome.
I wonder if Mr. Tancredo  is more depressed now than  he was during Vietnam? LOL Tancredo, LOL!
Thanks for the laughs oh so sensitive Tom!

Crazy Michelle, wow, so today she said is this week is the Super Bowl of Freedom week... and that made me laugh hard. "Yes it is Michelle" say I, "You smoked once again smoked the entire bowl by yourself".  We call that bogarting, but since you got your stuff from Sarah and I am sure it is Matanuska Thunderfuck, you've been rendered incoherent, one again Ruh Roh, I hope you have a prescription for that stuff Michelle, otherwise... well you'll be popular in prison, you are cute!
LOL Michelle, LOL!

I hadn't seen the candidate for at least a week or two when I had been invited back to the campaign to observe. I mean it was reality teevee, they knew I needed to be there to formulate a loose script.  They were high on life at the campaign, they were spinning and happy, in fact they were ecstatic! They all felt like winners.  Sarah and her family; they were a huge hit on the trail! Young and beautiful; they had a large family, with an adorable baby who reminded everyone of Timmy in the Dickens classic. If there is one thing conservatives respond to is the illusion of family. It had been at least a week before I was invited back to see the campaign.  I have to say, the entire Palin family looked different, in more ways than just attire, in fact their confidence had grown, things were certainly looking up, so many people were coming to see her and her family at the rallies. People were cheering, waving, asking for autographs, talking about abortion and taxes and gay marriage, and the many offenses of the federal government.  They didn't like that other guy either, the Democrat. "He isn't like us", she told them, and they believed her. Sarah's wardrobe was very different, was that the Versace jacket I wanted, the Kor's skirt, the boots I saw last time I was in Saks? I wasn't sure about the skirt, but I knew it was that jacket for sure. Sigh, I really needed to look into politics and not just the Real Housewives franchise! She also had a very different appearance, her makeup was more downplayed, her cheeks certainly didn't look as packed with rouge and her foundation didn't look nearly as thick, but it does take makeup to look good on teevee, let's not fool ourselves, she was suddenly looking a bit more natural, more professional, toned down but she didn't lose her overall look, the fresh faced girl from Wasilla, AK, a place that no one knew existed.  In fact she was beginning to mimic Cindy McCain's style, a more professional low key style, but built on some oh so fabulous designers!

John McCain himself was a man of Washington and everyone could see that, even his family was different than Sarah's, Meghan McCain, the outspoken daughter, with a mind of her own and completely willing to speak out, was so much different than the Palin children. She was much more used to the press and she had an impressive style for someone so young. No one told her what to do or say, but she knew there was a line and she never crossed said line. It was obvious she had a terrific, no, great relationship with her father, it would be more difficult to write around that, the franchise needs strife, John McCain seemed to have little strife with his children. But no matter, John McCain and his family a mere side story to the newest incarnation of The Real Housewives, because the real story was Sarah Palin and her family. The Palin's and Sarah herself had had a story that was begging to be told.

Sarah and I had never really spoken before this day. We were close to the same age, we had children, and she remembered my name and as I walked in the room gave me a "shout out". I think she was comfortable with me, and it made it easier to watch her and try to peg the persona needed for the franchise. She was more than willing to participate, she seemed to instinctively know what was needed to get her name out there, she had some of the same sense of media awareness as Madonna, Rodman, or Love, she knew how to get her name out there and she knew how to keep it out there. She had talent, no doubt about it, I was hoping for the sake of the franchise that her talent in this regard would promote the franchise as I thought it would. Well, I have to say, I don't think I was wrong.
That same evening after the rally, her pregnant daughter, was dead on her feet tired. She snapped at her mom who had requested something of her, as teenagers sometimes do. They certainly don't like to do what their parents ask them, especially on the franchise, so my ears honed in on the conversation.  The pregnancy episode had been handled rather poorly by the McCain campaign; they'd seriously never had to think about anything like this before! It stunned them in a way, but then believed they could easily attract many more working class, god fearing people to the campaign with this information.  Outwardly Sarah handled her daughter's pregnancy with stunning grace. But the arguments inside were entirely another story.  There was a good deal of anger going on around the unplanned pregnancy.  As any typical parent, they were worried for their daughter, they'd both felt she may have ruined her life. Outside though, where all the world's a stage, they felt sure they could turn this into a plus with the pro-life crowd, Sarah was already seeing herself as the next best thing for the republican party, and she was certainly willing to use whatever she could to take advantage of that fact, even if it meant throwing her daughter out there and using her circumstances to benefit a future in politics or on the fringe of politics, either way, they could get rich, and that is what counted. Cynical, yes, but would the pro-life crowd buy it, well in short, yes.

To be continued:

I was alerted just one hour before the Governor of Alaska; Sarah Palin arrived with her family in Arizona. The plane touched down and this family stepped off the plane, there were several of them, I'd seen her somewhere before, at first I wasn't quite sure where? Finally I heard someone say, "Oh my God that is the Governor of Alaska and her family", they seemed to be as in the dark as I was, well, it didn't matter, I was just there to observe, takes notes and write the script for the upcoming show, and I was willing to give up the next few months to learn about their lives so we could hire just the right folks to give us the next series in the franchise, Real Housewives was already pretty popular for a cable network show, we figured a political Real Housewives would be a complete winner.

                                     

I sat down at a table with Sarah and Todd; they knew why I was there.  We smiled at each other a bit uncomfortably, but there we all were in the backyard of a sitting US Senator who was running for President, his heiress wife and their children, well some of their children. The couple from Alaska looked bewildered and thrilled to be here, it was easy to see Sarah was enamored of Cindy McCain. She followed her with her eyes, everywhere Cindy McCain walked Sarah watched, she watched how she walked, how she softly swayed across the lawn, she was in some beautiful dress by a designer Sarah had never seen other than in a catalogue, she watched Cindy's jewelry, her shoes, her hair, to Sarah she looked like a princess.  Todd; he was simply glad there was Bud light available, he didn't want any of the fancy crap available at the open bar, just a Bud Light. He muttered under his breath more than once about the fancy boys at the party. They seemed to disgust him, although he admired John, a man who gave so much for America, he just wondered why he had all these weasels surrounding him. He didn't like these men, but he'd made a deal with the devil, he'd keep his mouth shut, there would be no more of him having his own desk in his wife's office, he would officially be the spouse of an important official, the Vice President. He seemed confident they could help John McCain win it and that would be its own payoff, because next they would be in the Oval office and he could have a desk anywhere he wanted one. He'd sold his soul, but it happens to everyone once they begin to live their life on the stage.

 

Sarah continued to watch Cindy, she really wanted to shop somewhere that Cindy shopped, and she was oh-so-tired of The Limited, Wet Seal and the consignment shop.  What was worse she had to go to Anchorage to get to either store!  She did realize she was going to begin to get hers, and it was about time, she was confident, she knew she was a great journalist and governor, why as governor she'd accomplished so much, first and foremost she'd beaten that old crook, Frank Murkowski. That alone she felt was enough to help Alaska and enrich herself. She'd been a beauty queen, a journalist, on the city council, a mayor, and then governor and people really liked her. She had beliefs and she wanted everyone to know what they were.

 

I couldn't get over the fact she already had the appearance of a Real Housewife character! We couldn't have asked for more, her makeup and her look were over the top, I knew at the yearly gathering she would not just blend in, but really spur on sales of new Real Housewife franchises.

 

We could tell at the time her daughter was pregnant, it wasn't hard to see, and she was just 17. Wow, we'd really hit the jackpot with this family, we knew we were going to have a hit, and as you can see it hasn't stopped yet, even Levi has his own franchise, it was trailer court queen meets debutant, wow!  I could see dollar signs in my eyes, I couldn't believe it, it was better than the Gene Simmons show, "Gene Simmons Family Jewels" this was going to be more edgy and "real". Blue Collar, Joe the Plumber real! While we sat there you could hear Dr. Hook in the background, it seemed odd at the time, but "Cover of the Rolling Stone" seems so prescient when I look back. Here I was with the new IT couple in politics, here began the saga of the Real Housewife of Alaska.

Yes things like this just pop right into my head! What can I do? Joe Lieberman is not a prima donna, attention seeking, media whore, nope he is the de-facto president people, and he is looking out for our best interest. It is so weird you all can't see that.

I've composed a song in his honor, well okay I stole the song from the Sound of Music, but I did add my own words... so hum along with the tune, you all know it! Thanks for your oh-so-hard work Joe, see you at the Abbott Labs board meeting next week!

So how do you solve a problem like Joe Lieberman?

He loves to be on the teevee,

And bends upon just one knee,

While he looks at you and me,

Pledging he knows what can be.

He has a budding friendship

With Giorgio Armani!

He walks around the town to temple

Preaches just like the great Gantry

And underneath that frozen smile

Covered by a sheath

You can almost see the ads tattooed upon his teeth!

I've even heard him speaking

On the stage of republic-cons

Given his own starring role

With a speaking fee to go

Oh how do you solve a problem like Joe Lieberman?

He is everywhere those cameras seem to hide

His drug of choice is Fox teevee

They invite him every single day

Just to see what he has to say,

I am sure it is worth hefty pay!

Oh how do you solve a problem like Joe Lieberman?

He says he is really just on our side

You should believe him, ask me why.

Can't you see he is dropping by?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Joe Lieberman?

How can you catch a guy who loves Versailles?

How do you find a word that means Joe Lieberman?

Especially when fool might seem to light!

 

Well Joe, thanks you so much for standing by us one more time, it is so awesome you are here to watch out for us!