Tim Fuller's Blog

Did Cheney Order Michael Jackson Killed?

2009-07-14T14:42:48Z

Several of the Jackson family are professing foul play in Michael Jackson's death at the very same time as Cheney's Death Squad hits the news. Coincidence? I don't think so. Some rogue element of the Cheney Death patrol got wind that Michael Jackson had turned Islamic.

I'll bet you there were some other Americans on the Cheney Death List, but perhaps the knowledge that the Cheney Death Machine killed Michael Jackson will be enough to finally spur Americans to stand up for justice and bring the war criminals to trial.

It's time for the war crimes trials. Do it for Michael.

Enjoy.

Cheney - First Rule of Spy Club

2009-07-12T15:53:39Z

Don't tell Congress about the fact that you're going to be illegally spying on Congressmen.

Enjoy.

Baptism by Ball Grabbing - Growing Trend?

2009-06-20T16:50:22Z

Noticed this Iowa story about a reported assault. The fight began when a heated religious discussion moved past the point of appropriate social norms.

Police said Peters asked the victim, who was not identified, a question about Jesus' anatomy. Police said Peters then attempted to grab the victim inappropriately to "save his soul." The victim pushed Peters away and told him numerous times to stay away, police said. Peters then pulled a knife and tried to attack the victim.

I'm not well versed on the particular sect of Christian thinking that exalts this form of salvation therapy. It's not the Catholics at work again is it?

Enjoy.

Weekend at West Palm Springs

2009-06-11T19:08:39Z

Witness the serenity.

The sun is shining and the palms are swaying. Stretched out on the beach, sipping exotic frozen fruity drinks, you bask in the sweet rapture of earthly delights Life seems so good, that for at least this brief moment, you can't help but feel that all is truly well in the world. You fold up your beach towel and head to the car.

There on the windshield, tucked under the drivers side wiper, is a glossy leaflet with artwork vaguely resemblant of the Whitesnake Lovehunter album. Intrigued by the prospect of a local performance of heavy metal, you are inspired to further examination. WTF!! No heavy metal tickets are for sale and no concert imminent.

Instead, there is an offer of free admission to a public discussion on the inevitability of cataclysmic suffering and the end of mankind. This offer is insincerely accompanied by the faint promise that the discussion isn't an attempt to scare people, but is an "analytical approach" to the examination of the biblically inspired apocalypse.

Taking note of the time and place for the big event, you realize that as much as you'd like to see a group of self-selected Jesus slobbering whack jobs seriously discuss religious mythology, you've got scheduling conflicts on the night of the Jehovah's Witnesses "Harshing our Humanity' program.

As fate would have it, the show conflicts with your regularly scheduled meetings with friends on the analytical approaches to properly storming a castle in online World of Warcraft raids.

Enjoy.

Riddle Me This?

2009-06-01T03:22:08Z

How hard would it have been to cross reference outspoken religious nutjobs with a known public hatred of Tillman against the database of people charged with do-it-yourself bomb building? How big is that universe of suspects? Do they Google at the FBI?

Isn't anybody reading the latest version of the PBD's on threats to America where it clearly states that "Wingnut Americans determined to attack in America?"

Too bad for the dead doctor that the religious extremist who killed him is not a retarded Muslim kid fresh out of jail with a sick mom, a stoner buddy and no health care. The FBI would have been on that scheme before the participants themselves could even imagine it.

At the end of the day, this just reinforces my belief that a church is one of the most dangerous places to spend any time around.

Enjoy.

Terrorist Onslaught in Kansas

2009-05-31T17:23:51Z

Abortion clinic doctor finally executed. After years of terrorist attacks by both anti-abortion provocateurs as well as the legal machinery of the State of Kansas, George Tiller was shot and killed at his church this morning.

His clinic has recently been under siege by vandals and it is reported that he was seeking FBI assistance.

Here's a tip to the help the clueless FBI. Look in the basement of the Wichita Baptist Church to see if there's a guy down there being cared and pampered for with enthusiastic aplomb. Immediately test him for gunpowder residue.

Enjoy.

Extinction Alert - New Virus !!

2009-05-31T06:08:26Z

Witness the last throes of Republicanus Rexus. Like many animals that live and wallow in filth, it was only a matter of time before a nasty virus mutated in the comingled muck. Once started, the epidemic spread rapidly and got totally out of control, an easy task given the already compromised nature of these tortured individuals. Whatever else you do, do not attempt to approach infected individuals. The last thing you want is to catch what they've got......

Newt Gingrich (and the usual gang of thugs) are going ballistic over Sotomayor. It's the usual racist baiting bullsquat, the only distinguishing feature being the sheer quantity and volume of the effluent being peddled.

Can we all agree the whole Sotomayor swiftboating exercise officially jumped the shark when Gordon Libby (ex-con, Watergate, Republican) made his appeal to menstruation?

The Meme that Killed Them

We're not a bunch of racists like the Democrats, we're just a group of God-fearin' conservative homophobes (and torture enthusiast deniers) who know a woman's place is barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. See you in 2010.

Dateline 2026, Politics Class, Middleton High School

Teacher: "Who can tell me the last time a Republican was elected for office in the United States? Juan, Maria, Julio? Don't be shy now. Ok Ruiz, I see you waving your hand! Tanisha, Mercedes and Latoya settle down and quit pulling on Damien's dreadlocks!"

Ruiz: "In 2010. The party officially dissolved after the overwhelming Democratic victories in 2012, which was highlighted by the re-election of President Obama. Every congressional and senate seat up for consideration in that election cycle went to the Democratic candidate. My mom first showed me pictures of some of those extinct Republicans when I was about five or six years old, because I'd outgrown having nightmares by then. They were some of the scariest looking thugs I've seen since Grand Theft Auto - Ghosts of Detroit came out in 2022, the year after Puerto Rico and Cuba were granted statehood."

Enjoy.

Military Raping Children

2009-05-28T04:08:02Z

It's official now and not just my fanciful imagination. I've attracted a few right wing trolls with my torturing toddler's testicles posts over the last several months. "Prove it" they said. "You're just making the shit up". "Just because Yoo was asked about it does not mean it actually happened".

Not only did it happen, but there are pictures to prove it.

It happened. Now get on board with prosecuting the folks who instituted the policy of child rape in the name of our country.....unless you're suddenly pro baby rape.

I can't wait for Sean and Rush to play apologist for the child abusers. This is gonna be classic.

Enjoy.

Burning Witches - America 2009

2009-05-20T23:12:33Z

Arizona corrections officials are investigating the death of a female inmate who collapsed after spending nearly four hours in an outdoor holding cell on a day when the temperature hit 103.
Marcia Powell, who was serving a 27-month sentence for prostitution, was put in the uncovered chain-link cell at a state prison in Goodyear about 11 a.m. Tuesday.

Using the sun to bake her to death saves on firewood and is considered more carbon friendly than outright burning her at the stake. 27 months for prostitution? If only she'd been a war criminal. There's no penalty for that these days.

Enjoy.

You're Doing it Wrong if they Die

2009-05-20T16:27:18Z

Or, a post that could have been titled: Origins on the limits to torture:

When a slave owner strikes a male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies immediately, the owner shall be punished. But if the slave survives a day or two, there is no punishment; for the slave is the owner's property. (Exod. 21:20-21

Enjoy.

Junk Science

2009-05-13T17:16:54Z

Toddler's testicles were not the only focus of perversion that Cheney and his minions devised. He had also resurrected the spirit of Joseph Mengele in a more clinical pursuit of sexual perversion and enhanced inhumanity. This happened at Gitmo under our supervision.

The 25 lines edited out of the court papers contained details of how Mr Mohamed's genitals were sliced with a scalpel and other torture methods so extreme that waterboarding, the controversial technique of simulated drowning, "is very far down the list of things they did," the official said.

This was the treatment afforded to both culpable and innocent alike. Even if they drop all charges against you, they've grown too accustomed to having you chained in the King's Tower to set you free.

I understand that the more religiously inclined tend to be more supportive of this kind of thing? Perhaps one of our religious elite will step forward and provide the next wave of new thinking on this recent embrace of "let's mess with his junk" science?

I'd suggest they fund a new think tank, ala the Center Heading Reasearch In Support of Torturing Terrorists Testicles, aka The CHRISTTT Center, (see also Holy).

Cheney - The Anti-Porn

2009-05-11T20:16:12Z

Watched just a wee bit (the new Star Trek rocks...) of the Cheney confession from Sunday TV. He's a kind of antiporn. The more you see of him, the less you want to see more of him. Creepy, and so not like porn.

Here's my take of what I heard......

Didn't realize that (many!)of our military trainees were being subjected to 11 days sleep deprivation, joint dislocations from hanging in stress positions, death from beatings, etc. Where are all the military guys who went through dozens (90-183?) of daily waterboardings? Weeks of sensory deprivation? Endless hours and days of loud music? Just asking. I'm aware our soldiers get a 'taste' of said in SERE, but for Cheney to make a comparison to what they actually did (to a lot of INNOCENT HUMANS) is extraordinarily craptacular. To see the self-identified "best of our media" let it slide? Illuminating.

Cheney didn't throw Bush under the bus. From what I heard, Bush could use this interview against Cheney in the war crimes trials. Cheney veered around the question of Bush's actual knowledge of what Cheney was doing in a way that makes me think that he played the simpleton Bush for the fool and incompetent that he is/was. Bush might honestly not have been aware of the worst of it at the time it was being done. Those early lies about the use of torture might have been honest from his perspective. Not saying he didn't think detainees were getting "roughed-up good Mr. Preznet" but early on, he might not have known?!?

In the beginning......Bush asked Cheney to find a vice presidential candidate to run with. Cheney picked himself as the best and Bush did his first (and last) 'decidering' when he agreed. Cheney was the pro. He worked with Nixon. I'm starting to think that Bush was not the "decider" so much as the "gullible rube".

For the gang of you torturing and torture supporting sons-a-bitches out there:

You're obviously not very bright so let me give you a clue. If you are guilty as hell of same, don't go on Sunday morning television and admit that you not only did it, but that you'd do it again. That's gonna raise your lawyers fee at the war crimes trial to an astronomical amount.

One Last Thing......

Can we arrest him now? Is public confession not sufficient 'probable cause'? We don't have to invent any new laws or change any of our basic morality, we just need to enforce the existing law and remind ourselves that we debated on the inhumanity of these actions, under far worse circumstances, long ago. Most confessions include some small bit of atonement, but not Cheney. He's begging to be held responsible. These repetitive public confessionals must be a subconscious attempt by his own psyche to punish him for the guilt that is pent up inside him.

You can't just decide that the Earth is again flat, even if you have the loud, fatman on the radio, along with the chicken-shit FauxTV crowd, endlessly exhorting the rustic nature of our beloved new flatlands.

Enjoy.

Tits on Trial

2009-05-04T21:46:00Z

If it were torture, the powers that be could simply look the other way (why focus on the distant past?), but since tits are involved, it's apparently a national crises requiring yet another round of SUPREME COURT activity.

Enjoy.

Andrew Sullivan - Unhinged

2009-04-28T22:40:41Z

Why?

Next week: Who Thinks Slavery is a Good Idea?, (followed by what I think will be the real doozy): Should Hitler Have Just Retired to Texas?

Enjoy.

Keeping the Testicles Under Cover

2009-04-27T22:08:45Z

Looks like the torture administration officials are feeling their oats right now. They've got quite a few people out shilling their ticking time bomb scenarios. I hear they've even got a preacher or two hawking torture just for good measure!

Whether any of that will matter when the true story of how we tortured toddler's testicles (to get their parent's 'compliance') comes out will be interesting to see.

Word up torture apologists: Better hone up on your sophist skill set, because Jesus loves him some little children...

Enjoy.