Fellow savants, esteemed colleagues, beloved blogmates:
Our Redress Day, September 17th, is Constitution Day, also known as Citizen Day. Federal law now requires educational institutions that receive federal funds to hold an "educational program" on the Constitution. To assist you, we are providing an easy way to get compliance done. Simply give the handy quiz below to everyone on your campus students, professors, administrators, staff, even members of the hockey team and happily avoid the suspension of millions of dollars of federal research money. Plus, all of you office jockeys are welcome to set up "universities without walls" and "satellite campuses" for just this occasion!
While you are complying with federal rules and regs, be sure to invite all of your quiz takers to participate in our Redress Day campaign, and give bonus points for attaching a hard copy of their emails to the quiz and sharing their letters in classes and at other erudite gatherings. Here's how it works: On September 17th encourage quiz takers to exercise their constitutional rights, as citizens, to redress the U.S. government by emailing letters, in their own words, to individual Congress members, demanding executive accountability. Provide the following link so that your participants can easily look up their Congress members' email addresses:
Congressional E-Mail Directory
The Quiz
1. In the Military Commissions Act of 2006, Congress suspended the writ of habeas corpus for alien enemy combatants detained at Guantánamo Bay. The Constitution, however, stipulates that Congress can suspend the writ only "in cases of rebellion or invasion." We can therefore conclude:
a. We have been invaded.
b. We are in the midst of a rebellion (against the government, not against the Constitution itself).
c. The Military Commissions Act is unconstitutional.
d. The Constitution does not protect evil suspects.
e. The founding fathers intended to make an exception for Gitmo.
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2. The Second Amendment to the Bill of Rights establishes:
a. The NRA.
b. An unconditional right of all Americans to wear tank tops.
c. A conditional right to bear arms in the interest of collective security.
d. A personal right of each individual to own, carry, and use weaponry of unlimited lethality in all public places (besides airports and the White House).
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3. The Bush administration's capacious understanding of its powers is based on a controversial idea known as the theory of the unitary executive. According to this theory, the executive enjoys the power to:
a. Order all 3.2 million members of the executive branch to treat Congressional subpoenas as an unconstitutional violation of executive privilege and so to ignore them.
b. Order the Justice Department to quash contempt proceedings brought against any of the 3.2 million members of the executive branch who cite executive privilege as reason to ignore Congressional subpoenas.
c. Ignore indictments of members of the Justice Department who quash contempt proceedings against those members of the executive branch who ignore Congressional subpoenas.
d. Wear a crown, carry a mace, and dress in ermine.
e. All of the above.
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4. The Constitution establishes the legislative, executive, and judicial branches of government. Vice President Dick Cheney has recently argued that the vice president is not a member of the executive branch. It follows from this that:
a. The president is likewise not a member of the executive branch.
b. The vice president belongs to a fourth, hitherto unknown branch of government, the existence of which can be neither confirmed nor denied lest it compromise national security.
c. The theory of checks and balances refers to banking practices.
d. Vice President Cheney was inadvertently referring to the Iraqi Constitution.
e. Vice President Cheney has not been taking his annual Constitution Day quizzes.
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Answer key available upon submission of a comment to our Redress Day Idea Bank.
*winks*
More soon, Tish
With thanks to our colleagues over at the Chronicle of Higher Education, especially quiz item contributors Lawrence Douglas, professor of law, jurisprudence, and social thought at Amherst College and Alexander George, professor of philosophy, also at Amherst.