I emailed dickday early this morning to see if he might post something to the effect that if we all put up $20, say, and could convince her that it is also in our interest to collectively help, it would be a benefit to all of us. Also that she would be running similar efforts one day for one of us.
We always have done it in our little community; even in this tiny valley there are multiple communities, so there are always (or were always) group efforts afoot. House fires, uninsured surgeries, etc.
Since dick is free with his email address, maybe he and wendy converse that way, and he could get her mailing address or we could send checks to him, he could bundle them and send them. We could even have a target date to get them in the mail. It seems more likely that if we could raise a couple grand for her, it might serve her better and more practically than all the offers to move hither and yon. Good on you, dear, for the post!
Starting with some cash, then a job, who knows?

I have no idea to put out here as a lead, sadly. I am willing to see what I can do to help if someone does have one.

Maybe an invitation to a real-time conversation. The TPM chatroom, wherever that is. Perhaps LisB knows best about this-- arrange a time, post the link, and offer a level of privacy and confidentiality once there of Wendy's choosing.

These are delicate circumstances for anyone. Balancing the intentions of those who want to help with the willingness of a person to accept that help is so important, in my experience.

Hmm. It's up to the wonderful woman who is the subject of this blog and a star in our hearts.

If she will agree, we will make it happen.

Already stratofrog has offered her place. And I'd be willing to front the cost of getting Wendy there - but I think if each of us is willing to help, it's simply a matter of coordinating this. DD has my email - and whatever is decided, I'm more than willing to do my share.

We could even host Wendy in successive homes. Each one taking a turn. I'm up for that one as well!

My first hope would be a job for her.

WW, when you read this, I hope that you will consider that you get back from the universe what you put into it. Don't think of it as being too proud to accept help. Think of it as being in a position to accept the love that you have given.

Whatever you decide to do, be it moving across the country to bunk with like-minded souls or staying right where you are and accepting some financial relief, I'm in.

Of course I am "in", this is my home. I felt that Wendy is clearing her mind of the cobwebs and working on a plan.

The response at my post caused me to tear up and fill with joy...all at the same time.

I am forced to rethink some things myself.

You better let somebody love you
You better let somebody love you
Before its too late.

I will gladly help out in the cause in any way Wendy is willing. I am in the chat room every night and will keep abreast of the situation. My love to Wendy.

Add me to those willing to assist.

I'm in.

I don't know if I can be on chat tonight but let me know what the plan ends up being. I may get there late.

I completely understand the challenge of receibing support. I had my own experience with being homeless with my daughter at one point... it forced me to allow myself to receive help.

Seems that if she is looking for a job, knowing what kind of job she 'really' wants and what location might be best to find that type of job would be a good thing to consider.

Having a chat and knowing her wishes would be great!

Me too :)

Love to help TheraP! When the ideas ready, clue me in!

I'll find what I can somewhere. Wendy's the best.

Godspeed, Wendy. As you can clearly see, you're loved around the Cafe. We are an extention of your "3D" family, and will be here for you at any time you say the word. No questions, no explanation needed - just the word.

Wendy, character building is a bitch, esp. when you've got so much character already.

Being from the South, I get it about the Southern enabling mores. Plus, until their 80s, my folks were able to give others their time, energy, boundless good will, thoughtfulness, and money. And you're right - it was from a distance. They loved their sense of community and sharing their many resources.

When health issues struck, neither could drive. Because they lived out from a small town, their church began a special ministry for them - shopping, trips into the metro area to the various specialists, to and from church.

It about killed them. They've always been "considerate" in that strange Southern way, meaning no disagreements and no impositions on anyone else. Cuts right down on others doing for you.

Their 3 daughters talked till we were blue in the face about giving to others the gift of being able to give back to my folks a tiny % of their generosity, about the balance of life, about it being harder to receive than to give, about God's will (they're strong Christians).

Nope. They couldn't bear it. Also, they weren't able to keep up the house and property without more imposition than they could stand. They moved to a nice retirement home in the city where they both grew up and lived before moving to the small town 20 years earlier.

My Mom especially was adrift - she didn't know how she could carry out God's will with so few of the familiar resources. She and her God worked it out beautifully. Our family's always been big "patters and huggers." After asking permission from each resident in the communal dining room, she gave everyone a hug at breakfast and told them she loved them.

She got to keep her distance, stating that might be the only hug and "I love you" the person got all week. And people adored her, as always. But I wondered if her God was being a bit sly - she got hugs and "I love you" back from 40 people every day. :)

I'm 64 and have worked all my life, but since April, 2007, I've worked only 6 months. It's been wretched and ball-up-in-a-ball shameful to ask others for various kinds of help or receive offers unsolicited, and my wise words to my parents haunt me. :)

I hope something of my Southern journey can be helpful to you.

Know that I come here every day and am buoyed by the group's comments and am touched by your care for each other. The few times I've posted, the thread has just been retired to wherever retired threads go, or my message doesn't make it through TPM filters, perhaps because I link to too many sources in my brilliantly-sourced :) comments.

So, I wonder if I'm supposed to "listen" here, rather than speak, which is what I do much more often.

Perhaps another lesson in receiving.

Take good care, Wendy.

Warm-hearted friends: you challenge me to rise, not only to my own circumstance, but to the generosity of your individual hearts. I have been battling myself all day, today -- alternately feeling shamed, valued, remorseful, cowardly, grateful... etc..
It is bizarre to realize, at 60, that possibly the one thing I have not learned how to do is to accept help when I need it. Correction: the one thing I have not learned how to do is to be intimate in the sense of allowing myself to be vulnerable and/or openly beholden to the kindness of others. Money once buffered that lesson, but it also precluded me from learning the meaning of sharing; I bestowed, from a distance, instead. Now all of you have offered me the chance to rethink that unsatisfactory distance.
I am grateful.
But lest I misuse your generosity, simply because I am tired, here is what I propose:
I am in Canada now, with friends who, each in his or her own way, have been there/done that and come out on the other side, successfully. I value these friends, not weighed down by southern enabling mores, not weighed down by Yankee bootstraps. They are men and women who seem to know -- is it a national gift? -- that though self-pity is a habit to be reviled, community has a definition that includes everyone, up or down.
One thing I cannot say enough positive things about is that TPM contributors have that same mindset. A cut to the chase sensibility that has nothing to do with sentimentality (always suspect) but everything to do with positive re-inforcement and strengthening encouragement.
So here is my promise to you (y'all). I will do everything in my power to get myself re-established with work and with a place to live.
And if I fail, despite my best efforts which, throughout my life, have not been shabby, then I will humbly, gratefully and gladly accept your kind offers of assistance to work out a fall-back plan.
Some of you may read this and think: "who the F*ck does this Episcopalian American princess/dowager queen think she is --- she will condescend to take help???? Well, f*ck her."
I understand if that is your view. That is not my view. This is the most difficult comment I have ever written. Truly.
Thank you. Yours ever,
Wendy