Generational Advice
For whatever reasons, it seems that the wisdom of our parents and grandparents is watered down and even refuted by the distractions of today's world. The role models of our grandparents are not the role models of popular culture now. We seldom seem to live close to our folks, grandparents don't have the influence on their grandkids that they did when generations lived in the same neighborhood or even the same house. I think we are the poorer for it.
My sister was going through our folks things when they sold their old home and downsized. She found these notes from our paternal grandmother to our father when Dad was 53 [I am now 60 so I take her advice to heart]. Nanaw died when I was 32, so I knew her as an adult. She was one of the kindest people I ever knew. My aunt told me that during the depression Nanaw fed anyone who came to her door hungry and never turned anyone away.
Until my sister sent this note for Dad to me, I never appreciated her wisdom. I see where Dad got his wisdom and it is my intention that I contribute as an "elder" in the way that Mom did and Dad does.
The first and tenth pages and possibly some at the end are missing but nonetheless, I wanted to share this from our Nanaw, Norvell Kanning Jezzard.
Dear Brother
The following is transcribed from handwritten notes Nanaw wrote for Dad when he was 53 years old. Unfortunately, the first and 10th page are missing and possibly more at the end. She wrote this on a small note pad. I'm assuming the "they" she's talking about in her note is us...Dad's children.
Nanaw's advice to Dad when he was 53 years old
"...Remember, if they love you as they should, they will advise and try to help you in every way that is for your own good - and you should let them - even if you don't like it. Remember you've had your day and a good one it has been. So let them have theirs and you sit back and rest on your laurels.
Get all you can out of life - by doing for others as long as you are able. Try to keep interested in other people. Try to adjust yourself to the way people, or your children live and like it. It will be hard - but you can do it. Don't expect them to adjust their living to your way.
Remember - your eyesight will get poorer and poorer. Your children are not going to tell you something is soiled and needs changing when it isn't. They want to be proud of you - listen to them.
Don't make a practice of doing a certain thing on a certain day unless it fits in with everyone else's plans. Remember your children will have some one else's pleasures and conveniences to consider as well as yours. Make yourself as adjustable as possible. You might not like it, but it can be done.
The best place for you where you'd fit in to the picture better all around ...{ page 10 missing}...page 11...hole of grandchildren and in-laws - as well as your own, out - Your own won't mind - but the rest may. So play safe and don't put your children between two fires. For that doesn't mean they don't love you any more.
Grow old graciously. You're independent and don't like to have people wait on you - but do what you really can (if they'll let you), and don't insist or try to do something they don't want you to do. You might - fall and break a hip.
Don't talk too much. Let the other fellow do that. That's what he likes to do anyway. Try to be agreeable at all times. Don't expect to get in on the children's parties. Feel complemented if they ask you and accept some times. But all down the ages - older people have cramped kid's style - why? I have never been quite sure - it's happened to you and it will happen to yours. Don't get careless about your person. You may not intend to - but that seems to go with old age.
Listen to your children. They are around to remind you. Try to concentrate on programs etc. and your vision will not be so good but it will also narrow down. You will not be able to take in so much as you did when younger. You will get more forgetful than you even are at 53. Be patient with yourself and others about it. Recognize the fact - Never allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Always be able to count your blessings and be thankful. Keep cheerful - even with your own family. Try to fit in. Remember that sometimes your family wants you, even your in-laws, if you will honestly cooperate and try to make yourself agreeable and adjustable.
It's natural for older people to grow in-ward. Don't you allow yourself to do that. Don't you get selfish and self centered. Old Gabriel will do something to you up there if you do"
Thanks Nanaw, I miss you.
My sister was going through our folks things when they sold their old home and downsized. She found these notes from our paternal grandmother to our father when Dad was 53 [I am now 60 so I take her advice to heart]. Nanaw died when I was 32, so I knew her as an adult. She was one of the kindest people I ever knew. My aunt told me that during the depression Nanaw fed anyone who came to her door hungry and never turned anyone away.
Until my sister sent this note for Dad to me, I never appreciated her wisdom. I see where Dad got his wisdom and it is my intention that I contribute as an "elder" in the way that Mom did and Dad does.
The first and tenth pages and possibly some at the end are missing but nonetheless, I wanted to share this from our Nanaw, Norvell Kanning Jezzard.
Dear Brother
The following is transcribed from handwritten notes Nanaw wrote for Dad when he was 53 years old. Unfortunately, the first and 10th page are missing and possibly more at the end. She wrote this on a small note pad. I'm assuming the "they" she's talking about in her note is us...Dad's children.
Nanaw's advice to Dad when he was 53 years old
"...Remember, if they love you as they should, they will advise and try to help you in every way that is for your own good - and you should let them - even if you don't like it. Remember you've had your day and a good one it has been. So let them have theirs and you sit back and rest on your laurels.
Get all you can out of life - by doing for others as long as you are able. Try to keep interested in other people. Try to adjust yourself to the way people, or your children live and like it. It will be hard - but you can do it. Don't expect them to adjust their living to your way.
Remember - your eyesight will get poorer and poorer. Your children are not going to tell you something is soiled and needs changing when it isn't. They want to be proud of you - listen to them.
Don't make a practice of doing a certain thing on a certain day unless it fits in with everyone else's plans. Remember your children will have some one else's pleasures and conveniences to consider as well as yours. Make yourself as adjustable as possible. You might not like it, but it can be done.
The best place for you where you'd fit in to the picture better all around ...{ page 10 missing}...page 11...hole of grandchildren and in-laws - as well as your own, out - Your own won't mind - but the rest may. So play safe and don't put your children between two fires. For that doesn't mean they don't love you any more.
Grow old graciously. You're independent and don't like to have people wait on you - but do what you really can (if they'll let you), and don't insist or try to do something they don't want you to do. You might - fall and break a hip.
Don't talk too much. Let the other fellow do that. That's what he likes to do anyway. Try to be agreeable at all times. Don't expect to get in on the children's parties. Feel complemented if they ask you and accept some times. But all down the ages - older people have cramped kid's style - why? I have never been quite sure - it's happened to you and it will happen to yours. Don't get careless about your person. You may not intend to - but that seems to go with old age.
Listen to your children. They are around to remind you. Try to concentrate on programs etc. and your vision will not be so good but it will also narrow down. You will not be able to take in so much as you did when younger. You will get more forgetful than you even are at 53. Be patient with yourself and others about it. Recognize the fact - Never allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Always be able to count your blessings and be thankful. Keep cheerful - even with your own family. Try to fit in. Remember that sometimes your family wants you, even your in-laws, if you will honestly cooperate and try to make yourself agreeable and adjustable.
It's natural for older people to grow in-ward. Don't you allow yourself to do that. Don't you get selfish and self centered. Old Gabriel will do something to you up there if you do"
Thanks Nanaw, I miss you.
