A wealthy benefactor who has requested complete anonymity donated one-way tickets home for sour and negative legislators,
Democrats and Republicans alike,
who
have worn out their welcome in the District
of Columbia.
They have been flown back to Greenville, South Carolina
($225), Dundalk, Maryland ($195), Stone Mountain, Georgia ($299), Kansas City, Kansas ($310), Chickasaw,
Oklahoma ($245), Sheboygan, Michigan
($410), and several locations that remained undisclosed in efforts to protect innocent families.
Because he was too combative to make it through Dulles security, one unnamed legislator was given a one-way bus ticket to
Asheville, North Carolina where it is expected that he
will work as a beekeeper at the Biltmore estate. A few requested carfare to Arlington, Virginia,
but such requests were denied.
The Obama administration, which has struggled with a
seemingly intractable problem of ornery and thick legislators for months now,
sought private funding to pay for more than 100 tired cranks to leave the city,
as a way of keeping them out of the expensive pension and health care system. All
it takes is for a relative elsewhere to agree to take in the spent and useless politician.
"I didn't expect the new
administration to be so smart and positive," said an unnamed third-term
senator, who was enjoying Cuban cigars, cocktails and prayer circles at Cedars last week and flew home to an
unknown location in Michigan
on Tuesday. "I was expecting something different, something ineffective."