DIARIST'S WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DIARY CONTAINS GRAPHIC PHOTOGRAPHS.

Turn up your radio dials, TPM readers, and fire up the Bachmann-Freeper-Overdrive.  'Cause America's favorite batshit wingnut is (still) going off the rails on a crazy train!

Alright, enough with the classic rock metaphors.  But seriously, you'll love this:

"And so we need to once again decide, do we want to be free, or do we want to be slaves? We have to make that decision. And I know I've made my choice, you've made your choice. And we have to act in concert if we want to make sure that we can hold on to what we have." -- Rep. Michele Bachmann, during an interview on April 1 with the right-wing blog Atlas Shrugs (as reported by Eric Kleefeld)

Wow, did Bachmann really just say that?  Yes, she did.  She tried to drum up fear about how our nation's first black president is returning America to the days of SLAVERY.  On April Fools' Day, no less.  How long until she starts comparing Obama to cancer, or Pol Pot, or Hitler?

I'm so glad Bachmann has made her choice about not wanting to be a slave.  Not wanting to be a slave is the first step in organizing an army for an orderly revolution against our democratically elected government.  As Steve Benen at Political Animal points out, Bachmann didn't say why the American people would want to be slaves -- does ANYBODY actually want to be a slave? -- nor did she say to whom the people would be enslaved.  

I'll get back to the slavery bullshit in a minute.

Earlier in the interview, Bachmann railed against the White House dropping the term "War on Terror" as a dangerous boost of confidence to terrorist organizations.  She also said that Obama's secret plan to replace the dollar with global currency -- the plan that doesn't exist and that Obama himself doesn't support -- is "stealing" from the American people's freedom.

"By scuttling adherence to the Constitution, we are scuttling political freedom as well, because economic freedom is inextricably entwined in political freedom. We can't have one without the other."

.....

"We are gambling with some very risky dice right now by not continuing to operate under a Constitutional form of government.  And that is....that is stealing from the American people.  It's reaching into the American people's freedom bank account and stealing from them the asset that is more precious than anything: Our freedom."

Whoa, did Obama secretly break into the National Archives last night, rip up the Constitution, and all of a sudden turn our democratically elected government into a fascist dictatorship?  I didn't get the memo.  I would have thought Obama -- a Constitutional law professor -- wasn't so big on his ninja robbery skills, but rather, um, obeying the Constitution and GOVERNING AS A CONSTITUTIONALLY-ELECTED PRESIDENT.

Also, what in the hell is a freedom bank account?  More importantly, do I have one of those?  Are there Freedom ATMs where I can make withdrawals on my freedom?  Like, can I decide that I only want to withdraw 60 freedoms today, but then pay an extra 2.50 freedoms as a service fee?  Can I invest in a freedom stock and get freedom tips from Jim "Freedom" Cramer?  Can I get a freedom portfolio to buy a freedom house?

Alright, enough joking.

See, we here in Non-Crazyland remember that America once had a not-so-pleasant history with slavery.  Bachmann might recall that poor, black people were involved.  I have a hunch that our nation's first black president isn't going to be returning America to slavery.  Call me crazy.

For Bachmann's reference, here's what slaves in real American history looked like:

And the people that Bachmann wants to protect from her batshit concept of slavery?  Those would be the rich, privileged, fundamentalist crazies who will do anything to fight higher taxes on the wealthiest people in America -- people who never once had to worry about the poverty and abuse such as the real slaves in American history once faced.  People like this:

For all her ranting and raving about how Obama is stealing people's freedom from their "freedom bank accounts," Bachmann and anybody who supports that dingbat would do better to remember that those real slaves in 1860 didn't actually have any freedom at all.  They were bound, chained, and forced to perform cruel labor for their white masters under threat of whipping, beating, and torture.  So when she makes some dumb remark about how the American people will be slaves under Obama and how their "freedom bank accounts" are being compromised, she might want to open a book and find out what real slavery was.

So no, Bachmann.  Imposing higher taxes on extremely wealthy people, or pushing for tighter regulation of banks that caused the economic collapse, or calling for a more sensible and diplomatic foreign policy, is not slavery.  It's called being progressive, rational, and patriotic.

Oh, but there I go again.....assuming that wingnuts have any logic or reason at all.....

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Cross-posted at Daily Kos