The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Republican nine that day;
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play,
And then when McCain died at first, and Palin did the same,
A pall-like silence fell upon the pundits of the game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The party base held their ground,
Surely there was a conservative hero somewhere to be found.
They thought, "If only Bobby could but get a whack at that Obama" --
That would be the end to all Republican trauma.

But Boehner preceded Bobby, as did also Eric Cantor,
And the former was a hoodoo, while the latter was a ranter;
So upon that stricken multitude grim like witnesses to a tax hike;
For there seemed but little chance of Bobby getting to the network mic.

But Boehner crafted the party of "No," to the wonderment of George Will,
And Cantor, the much despised, tore the cover off the stimulus bill;
And when the dust had lifted, and men saw what had occurred,
There was Eric safe at second and Boehner a-hugging third.

Then from thousands of Republicans there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the House, it rattled in the Senate well.
It energized Rush, and Hannity, and all who wear a Fox News hat,
For Bobby, mighty Bobby, was advancing to the bat.

Bobby's first utterance would surely win the game,
"Tax cuts for the rich," he grinned, the American people groaned in pain.
"Strike one," the umpire called, the partisan crowd was aghast,
"Not to worry," said folksy Bobby, I have a story from my past.

"During Katrina, I visited Sheriff Harry Lee, a good friend of mine."
Sheriff Harry is accused of racially profiling blacks, Bobby must be blind.
"Strike two," bellowed the Umpire!  Bobby wasn't perturbed,
"I found something in the stimulus bill that will make you very disturbed.

"$140 million for 'volcano monitoring'," said Bobby, a hokey, grin on his face,
Surely all America knows Bobby has made the definitive Republican case.
And now the President holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Bobby's blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
All pundits are a chattering somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere Americans are laughing, and middle-class children shout;
But there is no joy in Republicanville -- mighty Bobby has struck out.