In Defense of "Death Panels"
I'm not an overly religious guy, but if I had to nominate someone for sainthood it would be my late grandmother. This woman never uttered a bad word about another human being, loved everyone regardless of their shortcomings, and expected nothing but love in return.
Grandma died last week. It was, for lack of a better term, a pretty shitty death. The cancer was everywhere and the pain was intense. Even in the trying and terrible last days, humans did what humans do, argue.
See, grandma had a will but not a living will. It was not until after the diagnosis that her eldest son took her to do that. It was also during this time that said son became executor and named his sister power of attorney.
What follows is a very ugly story. The story of a dying woman being berated over last-minute requests for insurance policy changes and relatives being strong-armed to witness death-bed confessions.
The entire family is now ripped apart, anathema to the wishes of my grandmother. Perhaps is this conversation was done before she had two months to live things would have gone more smoothly. But alas, there was no "death panel."
I should also say that grandma was on government insurance, aka Medicare. They did not euthanize her. Instead they set her up with medication, a hospital bed, and a hospice nurse so that she could die in her home, per her wishes.
So let us not be too hard on "death panels." Without them, we are left to the whims of assholes and lunatics.
Grandma died last week. It was, for lack of a better term, a pretty shitty death. The cancer was everywhere and the pain was intense. Even in the trying and terrible last days, humans did what humans do, argue.
See, grandma had a will but not a living will. It was not until after the diagnosis that her eldest son took her to do that. It was also during this time that said son became executor and named his sister power of attorney.
What follows is a very ugly story. The story of a dying woman being berated over last-minute requests for insurance policy changes and relatives being strong-armed to witness death-bed confessions.
The entire family is now ripped apart, anathema to the wishes of my grandmother. Perhaps is this conversation was done before she had two months to live things would have gone more smoothly. But alas, there was no "death panel."
I should also say that grandma was on government insurance, aka Medicare. They did not euthanize her. Instead they set her up with medication, a hospital bed, and a hospice nurse so that she could die in her home, per her wishes.
So let us not be too hard on "death panels." Without them, we are left to the whims of assholes and lunatics.
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Bless you for writing this and your gramma.
August 26, 2009 1:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry for your loss and sorry there was that dreaded argument that sometimes follows in the absence of a healthcare directive.
I too lost my 83-year old mother to cancer. It too was physically painful for her but relatively short-lived. I'm glad there was not a death panel deciding that she was too old for any attempts at recovery. My mother too had Medicare and the procedure to try and place an artificial stent in her diseased pancreas was approved by Medicare in an attempt that this quick-witted, intelligent, woman may live a bit longer to enjoy life. The procedure didn't work but Mom came home and with the help of hospice, I believe, lived the remaining two months of her life pain-free and still had all her scruples. She was given massive doses of morphine for the pain and being a nurse myself realize that she probably died of a morphine overdose. That's okay with me. Hospice promised she would be made "comfortable" and they followed through with that promise.
The stent procedure did not work on my mother but it works for other patients that survive pancreatic cancer. A death panel may have thought she was too old to survive the procedure and reject approval but she survived the procedure just fine--she did not survive the cancer.
Don't give it up to a death panel to decide yours or your loved ones fate--print off copies of healthcare directives and hand them out to those you love (no matter how old) and talk about the options and what each person wants not what someone else wants. It does save a lot of heart ache. Thanks for your story.
August 26, 2009 8:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your grandmother. She sounds as if she was a great lady and your words are a wonderful glimpse at her strength and love.
I believe that everyone should have a living will. One should not wait until they are elderly but young and in good health and mind. I do not like the idea of some "death panel" making decisions for me or a loved one. It is a personal decision and should be left in the hands of the patient or his/her family.
August 26, 2009 8:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
When my dad died, my mother held my dads' hand around a pencil so he could scratch out an X on his living will and medical power of attorney forms.
We had no knowledge of such important documents prior to this event.
Mom, having seen what we went through with Dad, had all of the documents prepared and recorded when her time came. Her choices were honored to the best of our ability.
When my brother died there was no documentation to refer to. My wife had typed a will for him, but we had no idea where it was located. Unbeknown to me, he had placed it in a safe deposit box. Fortunately, I found a set of keys in one of his vehicles that appeared to be deposit box types. After driving miles between two banks, a bank officer gave me access to the correct box. In the will, he had elected that I be executor for his estate. (He had never mentioned that to me!) Once again we went through process of holding a love ones' hand as we scratched an X on his living will and medical power of attorney. I doubt that he knew he was scratching an x let alone what the x represented.
How I wish that each doctor would verify the existence of or cause to exist a living will and a medical power of attorney to be a part of each new patients' medical record.
There are "death panels" acting on behalf of health insurance companies as I type this. Their task is to disapprove any payment that they think that they might legally avoid. Most industries call these decision makers "clerks!"
August 26, 2009 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink