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Tough, the tragic moron


Tough, the tragic moron lived by the shit

And frolicked in the frothy piss in a land called We are It,

Little jerkie patriot loved that rascal Tough,

And brought him lies and secrets and other fancy stuff, oh

 

Tough, the tragic moron lived by the shit

And frolicked in the frothy piss in a land called We are IT

Tough, the tragic moron lived by the shit

And frolicked in the frothy piss in a land called We are IT 

 

Together they would travel in a boast with billowed sail

Jerkie kept a lookout perched on Tough's gigantic tale

Noble kings and princes would bow wheneer they came,

Pirate ships would lower their flag when Tough roared out his name, oh

 

Tough, the tragic moron lived by the shit

And frolicked in the frothy piss in a land called We are IT

Tough, the tragic moron lived by the shit

And frolicked in the frothy piss in a land called We are IT

 

A moron lives forever but not so little boys

M-16s and killer things make way for other toys

One grey night it happened, Jerkie's loyalty came no more

And Tough the mighty moron, he ceased his fearless roar

 

His head was bent in sorrow, stupid sayings fell like rain

Tough no longer went to play along the bullshit lane

Without this life-long friend, Tough could not be brave

So Tough that mighty moron sadly slipped into his cave, oh

 

Tough, the tragic moron lived by the shit

And frolicked in the frothy piss in land called We are IT

Tough, the tragic moron lived by the shit

And frolicked in the frothy piss in a land called We are IT

Just a little fun. Comments? Wanna try your hand?



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Very nice work, Weird Nick Yankovitch!! Give me a mo', and I will try my hand at something too.

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Okay, I'm being lazy, I'm posting an older one I already did. It's based on a Pearl Jam song about a speed addict, called "Off He Goes":

One...Two...One...Two
I know a man
His face squints like an ape’s
Like he's readin' from a teleprompt
and it’s goin’ too fast
So I approach with facts
Suggest that he should relax
But he's movin' much too rash

Said he'll see me on the flip side
On this trip he's taken for a ride
He's been takin' too much on
There he goes with his perfectly unfit Veep
There he goes

He's yet to come back
But I seen his speeches
He seems to have a hard on for Iraq
They go way back
I wonder 'bout his insight
It's like his balls are too big for his size

He's been taken...where, I don't know
Off he goes with his perfectly unfit Veep
There he goes

And now I rub my eyes, for he has returned
Seems he thinks our feelings should be overturned
For he still smiles... And he's still strong
Nothing changed but the surroundin' bullshit
That has grown

And now he's home and we're payin'
Like we did, the same old, same old way
Albert Gonzalez steps in
I feel the strain creep in

They seem distracted and I know just what is going to happen next

Before our next move, they’re off again

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Well done, Lis! I like it a whole bunch and then some. I had another handle but the TPM software screwed up and gave me NickthePick by accident (or they thought my other one was dumb or otherwise unacceptable.) How any halfway intelligent person has managed to survive Pinocchio's narcissistic Bushit is beyond me. Perhaps writing loopy doggerel helps.

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I like loopy doggerel, as long as it doesn't come out of our President's mouth, heh heh.

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THIS IS FUN. We gotta get Miguel in here, he was doing one on Rush & O'Reilly.

But Lis, 'The Squinter'--good show

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I wrote this back during Alberto's day.....to the not well recognized tune of "He Had It Coming", from the musical "Chicago". Sorry it is so long:

Paul:
World Bank.

Bush:
Wolfowitz!

Dick:
Pop.

Don:
War.

Karl:
Squish.

Gonzo:
Uh-Uh.

Paul:
World Bank.

Bush:
Wolfowitz!

All:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

Paul:
I betcha you would have done the same!

Dick:
Pop.

Don:
War.

Karl:
Squish.

Gonzo:
Uh-Uh.

Paul:
World Bank.

Bush:
Wolfowitz!

Dick:
You know how people
have these little habits that
get you down. Like Harry.
Harry liked to hunt birds.
No, not hunt. Pop!!
Well, I joined him this one day and
I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Harry layin' on
the lawn, drinkin' a beer and
poppin'. No, not poppin'.
POPPING!. So, I said to him,
I said, "Harry, you pop that
hawk one more time..."
And he did!

Dick:
So I took the shotgun from my aide
and fired two warning shots...
...into his head.

All:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

Don:
I met George W. Bush from
his dad many years ago
And he told me was serious
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started working together.
He'd talk about war, I’d talk about war,
I’d fix him a drink, and we'd laugh
like heaven in two and a half drinks…
And then I found out,
"Troop surge" he told me?
Troop surge, my ass.
Not only was he serious.
...oh, no, he had real plans.
One of those insiders,
you know. So that night
he came to visit.
I mixed him his
drink as usual.

Don:
You know, some guys just can't hold their Hellfire!

Dick, Don, Karl, Gonzo, Paul, Bush:
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a country
At it's prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
And it was crime!

Karl:
Now, I'm standing in the White House
carvin' up the employees for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms one Valerie Plame
in a mad, mad rage.
"You been screwin' me in the papers,"
she says.
She was crazy,
and she kept on screamin'
"You been screwin' me in the papers!"

Karl:
And then she ran into my dick! She ran into my dick TEN TIMES!

All:
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

Gonzo:
Mi madre and mi padre, o wherefore art thou
Mi corazons?
Yo tengo screwed up mucho big time, en cannot save
My Texan ass no more. Por favor?? Yo can only say, I do not remember
All those meetings, and what I said and what I read
And I can no longer speaka de Ingles, por favor….

Reporter:
Yeah, but did you do it?

Gonzo:
UH UH, not guilty!

Paul:
My girlfriend, Shaha, and I did this double act
and my buddy, Dubya, used to understand
us.
Now for the last number in our act,
we did these 20 financial tricks in a
row, one, two, three, four, five...
Promotions, raised salaries, back flips, flip flops,
one right after the other. Well, this one night
we are in the World Bank, the three of us,
sittin' up in an office, boozin' and havin' a few
laughs and we ran out of dough
so I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
And there's Shaha and
Dubya talking World Domination
-without me...

Paul:
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out.
I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was
reading my own Board notes, I even knew she‘d gotten a raise.

All:
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along.
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

Bush:
I love Gonzalez, Wolfowitz
More than I can possibly say.
They are real fantastic guys...
Sensitive...they’re pardners.
But they’ve been troubled.
They’re always trying
to find themselves.
They go out every night
looking for themselves
and along the way
they find Ruth,
the truth,
Rosemary and Thyme.

Bush:
I guess you can say we’ll break up because of artistic differences.
They see themselves as alive
and I see them dead.

Bush:
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum


All:
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
They had it comin'
All along
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us
How could you tell us
That we were wrong?

All:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!

Dick:
You pop that gun one more time!

Don:
Troop surge my ass.

Karl:
Ten times!

Gonzo:
UH-UH

Paul:
The World Bank - the big promotion.

Bush:
Artistic differences.

All:
I betcha you would have done the same!

ANNOUNCER:
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen - the Keeper of the Keys, the
Countess of the Clink, the Mistress of Murder's row - Matron
"Mama" Pelosi!

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Yes, Lis. Yes, yes!

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So, um, Nick....how DO I know ye? You say you are reborn lately, and all...

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You know me if you read cleverly written private detective novels and international thrillers with offbeat characters. No best sellers. I live the writer's life, forever broke. I sit. I think. I write. There is physical play, balls and nets and the rest of it. And there is intellectual play, entertainment for adults--a participant sport, not a spectator sport. That's what this exchange is all about. You're a helluva good player, Lis. An all-star. In basketball terms, a shooting guard. In baseball, a switch-hitting third baseman.

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