Dear Friend,

Have you noticed the pattern?

Every time Fake Sinbad’s campaign demonstrates its strength and resilience, people start to suggest that hey, maybe the guy with the silly name and hammer pants and no chance of winning should end his pursuit of the Democratic nomination.

Those anxious to force Fake Sinbad to the sidelines aren't doing it because they think he’s going to lose the upcoming primaries. The fact is, they're reading the same polls he is, and they know he’s in a position to win.

A position to win your hearts.

In three days, Fake Sinbad faces a critical March filing deadline -- another chance to show the strength of his campaign. Fake Sinbad isn’t sure what the filing deadline is for, but he does know this: Fake Sinbad is not going to simply step aside. You and Fake Sinbad are going to keep fighting for what you believe in, and at the end of the day, America is going to win.  What it wins is still anybody’s guess.  But my guess is that America will win one of those really big stuffed bears that you get at the fair that falls apart after a few days.

The fact remains: millions of voters are still waiting to have their say. Let's make sure they have a chance to be heard – for starters, open mic night is this Tuesday, and be sure to get there early because last time we had a few people who signed up late and didn’t make it on stage.

Finally, there have been some of you who have wondered where I have been these last 10 years.  After the success of such family friendly friends as Jingle All the Way and First Kid, you ask: "Where did you go, Fake Sinbad?"

Friends, it was in those times when you needed Fake Sinbad the most that he carried you.  If you couldn't feel him holding you up, it was probably because he slipped a mickey in your drink.

And in times like this, with everything on the line, it means so much to Fake Sinbad to know that Fake Sinbad can rely on you to meet the challenges that we as a country face head-on.

Thank you for everything,

Fake Sinbad

Sinbad/Clinton ’08 – We're not gonna lie: we REALLY need some money

Things sure do have a way of coming full circle, don't they?  A few weeks ago, I, fake Sinbad, pleaded with the staff of TPM to do a story about my trip to Bosnia with Hillary and Sheryl Crow.  Admittedly, I exaggerated the effects of our efforts, claiming to have "solved the refugee crisis in Kosovo."  Well, sue me.  I misspoke.

Unfortunately for TPM, they did not heed Sinbad's advice.  The Washington Post, no fools they, picked up on what they sensed would be a groundbreaking story and contacted Sinbad independently.  Recently, the mainstream media has jumped in on the fun, and have spent the last few days pillaging their march/1996/bosnia video vaults, showing the world the Truth with a capital T.  Meanwhile TPM stood idly by, watching passively as the media - in their eyes nothing more than a sophomoric mob - clamored to give the America people what they truly wanted, what they truly deserved - a Sinbad story.  But not TPM.  No, they were too cool for school.  Too cool for Sinbad.

As if such words could possibly be strung together.  Too cool for Sinbad.  It doesn't even make sense.  Not a lick.  Gibberish for all I care.

But then an amazing thing happened.  Sinbad contacted TPM.  THE Sinbad.

So the question now before us is not, "will we eat here or at the next place?" (by the way, real Sinbad - great line!).  No, the question becomes: what will TPM do?  Will they coordinate and film and loose upon the American public an exclusive interview with Sinbad?  Real Sinbad, in all his real glory?

Surely something must be in the works.  Perhaps Sinbad has agreed to an interview if TPM first pays a $10 cover and promises to buy 2 drinks and bring a few friends.  We've all been there.  We feel you, Sinbad.

Well, it's time to do something more than just feel Sinbad, TPM.  It's time to turn that feeling into action - time to reach out, and give Sinbad some love.

Sinbad needs your love.  Fake Sinbad can't put it any more sincerely than that.  America wants this to happen.  America has wanted this happen since Sinbad's first role as Byron Lightfoot on "The Redd Foxx Show."

It's time to move past the divisions of this primary season.  It's time for real Sinbad and fake Sinbad to come together.  It's time to feel good to be an American again.

E Pluribusinbad Unum - Out of many Sinbads, One

Real Sinbad/Fake Sinbad '08 - Just a ridiculous amount of Sinbad, and you've got to love that

I've had people come up to me and say, "Hey, I really wish I could vote for you and Senator Clinton both."  Well maybe they can.  It would be a dream ticket.  An unstoppable force.

I could win urban voters, voters with large earrings, voters who wear parachute pants, and Senator Clinton could win rural voters.  I know that I'm ready to lead this country.  For too long we've had presidents unable to avoid sniper fire.

Not this time.

Earlier in this campaign I railed against TPM for not digging into the Bosnia story a little.  I begged them to put it on their front page.  Well, what are you going to do?  TPM could have made the big time with this story.  CBS, NBC, NYTimes, everybody was running with the sniper story yesterday.  Look, sometimes you try to be nice to people, you give them everything, and what do they do?  They turn around and stab you in the back.  Judas.

I know that in the past I've been critical of Senator Clinton.  Well, I misspoke.  I was sleep-deprived.  I had just finished a marathon stand-up session at the Laughapalooza Festival in Topeka.  Things come out wrong.  I'm sorry.  She's a good lady.  She sort of doesn't "get" black people, but that's okay.  We'll make a good team.  Politics is all about "Necessary Roughness."  We'll do well in the general, I know it.

Democrats, the choice is yours.  2008 is slipping away.  We need to finally come together and put this brutal primary election behind us.  It could be our year.  Dream Ticket.  Ready on Day One.  Solutions.  Sniper Fire.  Eating Here or at the Next Place.  Houseguest.

Senator Clinton, I admire you.  You're a courageous, honorable, sort of weird lady.  And today I'm proud to formally announce that I, Sinbad, hereby publicly offer you the opportunity to be my running mate.  Let's make history, Senator.  Take my hand and join me.  Together we will change this nation, together we will - OH GOD, HEAD DOWN, HEAD DOWN, JESUS CHRIST THE SNIPERS ARE EVERYWH----

Sinbad/Clinton '08 - One is a comedian, the other is Sinbad