TPM:  Sinbad TRIED to give you the opportunity to lead with this story, but nooooooo, you were too busy posting poll numbers and cut-and-pasting campaign memos.  So Sinbad said screw you, TPM!  I'm taking my story somewhere else - THE WASHINGTON POST!

A few choice quotes from me, Sinbad!:

In an interview with the Sleuth Monday, he said the "scariest" part of
the trip was wondering where he'd eat next. "I think the only 'red-phone' moment was: 'Do we eat here or at the next place.'"

In her Iowa stump speech, Clinton also said, "We used to say in the White House that if a place is too dangerous, too small or too poor, send the First Lady."

Say what? As Sinbad put it: "What kind of president would say, 'Hey, man, I can't go 'cause I might get shot so I'm going to send my wife...oh, and take a guitar player and a comedian with you.'"

TPM, you had your chance and you blew it!

Sinbad doesn't need you!  Sinbad will get his message out on his own!

Sinbad is back in the spotlight, baby!

Clinton/Sinbad '08 - DO WE EAT HERE OR AT THE NEXT PLACE!?!?!!

Sinbad wants to know: where is the love, TPM? A day after the world is made aware that I, Sinbad, have crossed the Commander-In-Chief threshold of foreign policy experience, you give me - what else? NO LOVE!

Look, maybe Sinbad was too angry or aggressive in his post yesterday. Sinbad knows from his experience solving the refugee crisis in Kosovo with Sheryl Crow and Hillary Clinton that anger is never a good way to commence negotiations.

So here's what Sinbad is going to do. Sinbad is going to sweet-talk your pleated goddamn Dockers off. And Sinbad is pretty damn sure that you're going to like it. How does Sinbad know this? Because I'm Sinbad, and you are not. Because I, Sinbad, pass the Commander-in-Chief threshold and YOU. DO. NOT.

TPM, Sinbad usually likes the coverage that you provide in terms of elections and politics and so on and so forth. But lately you've been slipping. And don't think that it's because Sinbad's a partisan looking for good press for Sinbad's gal or guy - let it never be said that all Sinbad cares about is finally getting a brother to step to the White House. Come on, you know Sinbad better than that! Sinbad's got mad love for both Clinton and Obama. Sinbad's not looking to get into the game of who is or is not the rightful heir to sit upon the throne of the presidency and finally wear her tiara of power, and who is or is not the young, charming, hard-working black person who should get in line behind that other person as that other person's VP.

Sinbad just doesn't want to GO THERE. Sinbad knows that down that path leads trouble. Sinbad knows all about taking a wrong turn on the path that is thing we call LIFE. Remember Necessary Roughness? Yeah, neither does anybody else. You see Sinbad's point.

Look, Sinbad's getting off-track. Sinbad is even starting to confuse Sinbad. Basically, Sinbad doesn't want you to think that his goal is to get in the middle of all of this election nonsense. Sinbad wants one thing and one thing only:

DO A FRONT PAGE STORY ABOUT ME!

You don't get it, do you? Sinbad's been forced to do really bush-league crap like Cuttin Da Mustard and Slacker Cats. Sinbad needs to get back IN THE SPOTLIGHT!

SO DO A FREAKING STORY DETAILING HOW I - SINBAD! - OPENED THE BORDERS OF KOSOVO!!

I passed the Commander-in-Chief threshold! I risked my life to bring the funny! I wore my most glittery Hammer pants! I was the body guard of the President's son in the film First Kid! I got an eraser-top haircut with those fade lines in the sides!

WHY ARE YOU SITTING ON THIS STORY? THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THAT SINBAD AND HILLARY DID IN KOSOVO!

Please, give Sinbad some love. Rec this story up, people!

Sinbad NEEDS YOUR LOVE!!