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   <title>Schmedley&apos;s Blog</title>
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   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586</id>
   <updated>2010-09-09T18:11:30Z</updated>
   
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<entry>
   <title>My Last Dance At the Cafe: 3 Ways To Prove You&apos;re Not a Bigot</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/09/my-last-dance-at-the-cafe-3-wa.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.350890</id>
   
   <published>2010-09-09T18:07:42Z</published>
   <updated>2010-09-09T18:11:30Z</updated>
   
   <summary>I don&apos;t often cruise HuffPo, but a Facebook friend directed me there and alerted me to this very spot-on column. Here is the crux in case you don&apos;t want to sully yourself over there: ...prove the critics calling you a...</summary>
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      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[I don't often cruise HuffPo, but a Facebook friend directed me there and alerted me to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/keli-goff/opposing-the-ground-zero-_b_708538.html?ref=fb&amp;src=sp">this very spot-on column</a>. Here is the crux in case you don't want to sully yourself over there:<br /><br /><br /><blockquote> ...prove the critics calling you a bigot wrong by doing these three things: 

<p>1)	Make a donation to Ahmed Sharif, the cab driver attacked in what 
is being described as an anti-Muslim hate crime. You can do this through
 the <a href="http://www.nytwa.org/">New York Taxi Workers Alliance </a></p>

<p>Checks and money orders can be made payable to, "Ahmed Sharif" </p>

<p><strong>Mail to:</strong><br />
Ahmed Sharif<br />
c/o New York Taxi Workers Alliance<br />
250 Fifth Avenue, Suite 310<br />
NY, NY 10001</p>

<p>2)	If you are a <a href="http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/40713/">listener</a> or <a href="http://journalism.nyu.edu/pubzone/pressethic/node/1296">fan </a>of <a href="http://mediamatters.org/research/200710050003">Glenn Beck</a>, <a href="http://mediamatters.org/research/201008170024">Rush Limbaugh</a>
 or anyone else who has been using heated rhetoric around this issue 
that can be perceived as Islamophobic, write to them and ask them to 
vehemently denounce the attack against Sharif and hate crimes against 
Muslims in general, as well as "International Burn a Koran Day." 
Contact: Glenn Beck: me@glennbeck.com, Rush Limbaugh: 
ElRushbo@eibnet.com</p>

<p>3)	If you've ever sent an e-mail forward to your friends critical of 
Islam, which in any way may have been misconstrued as condoning hate 
crimes against those who practice this faith, then send an e-mail to 
those same friends today denouncing "International Burn a Koran Day" and
 hate crimes against Muslims, and encouraging them to donate to the 
Ahmed Sharif fund. </p>

<p>The reason? Because our country is better than the hatred and bigotry we are allowing to define us at the moment. </p></blockquote> ]]>
      
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<entry>
   <title>&quot;Obama Sold Us Out&quot; - Scaypgrayce Clocks In</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/09/obama-sold-us-out---scapegrayc.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.350158</id>
   
   <published>2010-09-03T11:37:04Z</published>
   <updated>2010-09-03T17:08:36Z</updated>
   
   <summary>In case you missed it, here&apos;s Scaypgrayce&apos;s response to the general hubbub found on my original thread, The Progressives&apos; Autumn of Discontent: It&apos;s late, and I have to be up in less than five hours, so, as Juliet said, I&apos;ll...</summary>
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      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[In case you missed it, <a href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/09/the-progressives-autumn-of-dis.php#comment-4087137">here's Scaypgrayce's response</a> to the general hubbub found on my original thread, <a href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/09/the-progressives-autumn-of-dis.php">The Progressives' Autumn of Discontent:</a><br /><br /><blockquote>
            <p>It's late, and I have to be up in less than five hours, so, as Juliet said, I'll be brief (but will come back to this).</p>

<p>I understand people seeing my vent as foolish self-righteousness, and
 self-defeating as well.  Perhaps it is.  I am a bit calmer now, and 
several friends have offered their own perspectives, which I take to 
heart.</p>

<p>However, consider:</p>

<p>My anger isn't that Obama failed to live up to my expectations, it's 
that he obviously hustled people like me, then kicked us in the teeth 
once he got into office.  </p>

<p>I grew up, back in the 50s/early 60s, as a hard-right Republican in 
Southern Illinois.  Rush Limbaugh and I grew up about 9 months and 90 
miles apart.   I was a college Repub (vice-president), ROTC cadet, all 
of it.  Then it finally dawned on me that the whole Right agenda was 
driven, at its core, by racism, and I turned away in disgust.   So I 
know these people, down in my bones, and I hate what's about to happen. 
 But it's happening because Obama sold us out.   The result - reflected 
in nearly every poll I read - is flagging Dems' enthusiasm, which is the
 Rs' best weapon this year.   </p>

<p>I lost my job last year.   Lost it because of the crash of the 
financial markets, a crash engineered by Rubin/Greenspan, Clinton, and 
business-buddy Dems and Rs in the late 1990s.   Then Bush came along 
and, with help from Dems, pushed through tax cuts and put two wars on 
the national credit card, creating a deficit (that didn't matter, 
remember?) that made it nearly impossible for us to respond to a 
financial crisis.  When that crisis, the product of de-regulation, hit, 
it wiped a lot of people, including me, out.   Obama promised us change;
 he convinced us he was on our side, but he isn't.   He protected the 
banks and the brokers, not us.   His stimulus package was timid, and 
aimed wrong (should have gone to states).   On health care, he started 
negotiating, if that's what you want to call it, from his final 
position, never once pushing for something better.</p>

<p>If he had tried and failed, I could accept that, but he didn't even 
try, and never intended to try.  As I wrote this morning, neither he nor
 any of the business-buddy types surrounding him will ever suffer 
materially from this.   The penalty will land on people like me, and my 
kids.   So, yeah, I'm pretty damned angry about that.</p>

<p>Then on top of it all, he sends out his people to sneer at us and 
blame us for his troubles (Time magazine is carrying that line in a 
story now).   </p>

<p>I am a Progressive and an Independent, although I nearly always vote 
Dem or Prog (we have that choice in VT).  I understand mainstream Dems 
aren't gonna line up with us very often, but that's different from 
working against us.   Look what he's doing on Social Security.   Look, 
they're talking about business tax cuts.  He's got Larry Summers saying,
 oh, well, guess we're going to have to live with 9 percent unemployment
 for awhile.  </p>

<p>I will doubtless vote Dem this fall, but I'll be damned if I'll vote for Barack Obama again.</p>
        
        

		
		
            
            <span>
	            Posted by 
		    
	            <strong><a href="http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/scaypgrayce">scaypgrayce</a></strong>
	        
            </span>
		
		
            </blockquote> ]]>
      
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</entry>

<entry>
   <title>The Progressives&apos; Autumn of Discontent (Obama = Traitor?)</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/09/the-progressives-autumn-of-dis.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.350058</id>
   
   <published>2010-09-02T14:50:11Z</published>
   <updated>2010-09-02T18:08:54Z</updated>
   
   <summary><![CDATA[My friend unloaded in Kos last night and again this morning:Obama &amp; Co have already set up the meme that, when the Dems go down in flames in November, it's our fault. &nbsp; No it's not Mr. President, it's yours....]]></summary>
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      <![CDATA[My friend <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/comments/2010/8/31/12232/0193/1021#c1021">unloaded in Kos</a> last night and again this morning:<br /><br /><blockquote><p>Obama &amp; Co have already set up the meme that, when the Dems go down in flames in November, it's our fault. &nbsp;</p>

<p>No it's not Mr. President, it's yours. &nbsp;</p>

<p>We voted for you, and we drove all over the country organizing efforts to get others to do likewise.</p>

<p>We sent you money.</p>

<p>We believed you when you said you'd bring change.</p>

<p>And what did we get for it? &nbsp; You couldn't run away from us fast 
enough once you were sworn in. &nbsp; You wouldn't fight for affordable 
health care, as you said you would. &nbsp; You wouldn't fight to repeal the 
Bush tax cuts, which not only drove the deficit, but shifted the tax 
burden onto those less able to afford it. &nbsp;You wouldn't call out the 
Republicans for their hypocrisy when they started yelling about the 
deficit; in fact, you bought into it. &nbsp;You wouldn't protect Social 
Security. &nbsp; You allowed the very people who took the economy over a 
cliff to walk away rich, while the rest of us lost jobs, homes, savings,
 everything.</p>

<p>In short, when you promised us change; you lied. &nbsp;You were handed an 
historic mandate, in part due to our efforts, and you pissed it away. 
&nbsp;You and your family, your inner circle, none of you will suffer 
materially from the awful things that are about to happen, but we will. &nbsp;
 Our livelihoods; our futures; all of it, are on the line. &nbsp;You will 
ease into a comfortable retirement, in 2013 or 2017, with little to 
worry about.</p>

<p>Then, when we made some noise about it, you turned your lackeys on 
us. &nbsp; Emmanuel called us "retards." &nbsp; Your flak Gibbs dissed us. &nbsp; We 
got condescending lectures about how we were ideological whiners who 
Don't Understand How Washington Works.</p>

<p>Well, Mr. President, I have worked in Washington longer than you 
have, and I understand How It Works. &nbsp; I worked in the Senate, for a 
true hero, Russ Feingold, a man who faces possible defeat after a 
distinguished career, due to your lack of leadership. &nbsp; I know what it 
takes to get legislation passed, and one thing it takes is courage, of 
which you have none.</p>

<p>And now, you want us to step up and save your worthless ass.</p>

<p>Not a chance.</p>
<p>[This morning's addition]</p><p>Allow me, as we used to say in the Senate, to revise and extend my remarks.</p>

<p>Speaking only for myself as a Boomer, Mr. President is one of the 
last of us. &nbsp;Millions of his big sister and brother Boomers have spent 
much of their lives working for social and economic justice. &nbsp;We were 
community organizers, too, and teachers and social workers and on and on
 and on. &nbsp;Some of us got our first taste of tear gas before Mr. 
President went to kindergarten. &nbsp;Some of us got beaten by Klansmen, 
cops, and the like. &nbsp;A few of us got killed. &nbsp;</p>

<p>We thought Jimmy Carter, elected after what was then the worst 
administration in history, might turn this country around, but he failed
 us. &nbsp;And, like Mr. President, he turned on us as he was going down and 
taking the rest of the Democratic party with him. &nbsp;We thought we had a 
better chance with Bill Clinton, who gave us some measure of 
satisfaction even if he pivoted away after likewise crashing and burning
 in 1994. &nbsp;So we thought we might actually get somewhere with Barack 
Obama. &nbsp;He courted us - I was one of those in Boston in 2004 who stood 
riveted by his convention speech - he asked us to stand with him, and we
 did. &nbsp;When we needed him, he was off buttering up a Republican party 
that showed zero interest in working with him. &nbsp;Heck, they were 
screaming "Socialist!" in Sepember, 2008. &nbsp;He wrapped a warm blanket 
around the bankers who had destroyed our financial futures (and who 
later professed hurt at his quite mild remarks that they might have some
 responsibility for cleaning up the mess they made). &nbsp;He went playing 
with his fellow millionaires on Martha's Vineyard while millions 
struggled.</p>

<p>Why in the world should we, after all that, help prop him up? 
&nbsp;Because the Rs are worse? &nbsp; Nixon, Reagan, Two Bushes, Gingrich; we've 
dealt with all that before. <b>&nbsp;We can handle battling an enemy; it's much 
harder to handle a traitor.</b> [my emphasis]<br /></p></blockquote><p>I can't find much wrong with this. If you can, please have at it.<br /></p><blockquote>


</blockquote> ]]>
      
   </content>
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<entry>
   <title>Well, Duh!</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/08/well-duh.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.349577</id>
   
   <published>2010-08-30T13:52:32Z</published>
   <updated>2010-08-30T13:57:03Z</updated>
   
   <summary>That&apos;s my friend&apos;s header for the email which gave this link:Estimates Say Fewer Jobs, Larger Deficits if Republicans Were in ChargeNothing is more important to Republican politicians these days than jobs and the deficit--at least according to Republican politicians. As...</summary>
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      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[That's my friend's header for the email which gave this link:<br /><br /><h1><a href="http://www.newsweek.com/blogs/the-gaggle/2010/08/26/on-jobs-and-deficits-republicans-are-worse-than-obama.html">Estimates Say Fewer Jobs, Larger Deficits if Republicans Were in Charge</a></h1><br /><blockquote><p>Nothing is more important to Republican politicians these days than 
jobs and the deficit--at least according to Republican politicians. As 
House Minority Leader <a href="http://www.newsweek.com/tag/john-boehner.html">John Boehner</a> put it in a "<a href="http://gopleader.gov/News/DocumentSingle.aspx?DocumentID=203966">major economic address</a>"
 on Tuesday, President Obama is "doing everything possible to prevent 
jobs from being created" while refusing to do anything at all "about 
bringing down the deficits that threaten our economy." Elect Republicans
 in November, Boehner assured his audience,&nbsp;and we will put an end to 
this insanity. <br />
</p>
<p>There's only one problem with Boehner's message: so far, the things 
that Republicans have said they want to do won't actually boost 
employment or reduce deficits. In fact, much the opposite. By combing 
through a variety of studies and projections from nonpartisan economic 
sources, we here at Gaggle headquarters have found that if Republicans 
were in charge from January 2009 onward--and if they were now given carte
 blanche to enact the proposals they want to--the projected 2010-2020 
deficits would be larger than they are under Obama, and fewer people 
would probably be employed.&nbsp; <br />
</p>
The math is pretty straightforward... <br /><br /> </blockquote>]]>
      
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</entry>

<entry>
   <title>Brave New TPM</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/08/brave-new-tpm.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.349428</id>
   
   <published>2010-08-27T23:38:44Z</published>
   <updated>2010-08-27T23:44:39Z</updated>
   
   <summary>How interesting. I can&apos;t log in by the old means and it looks like I&apos;ve lost my TPM identity. Through some back door magic, I&apos;ve found the old blog which I will use to pose the following questions (assuming this...</summary>
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      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[How interesting. I can't log in by the old means and it looks like I've lost my TPM identity. Through some back door magic, I've found the old blog which I will use to pose the following questions (assuming this gets published):<br /><br />With the new "service" based accounts, will we still be able to post blogs or are we just limited to comments?<br /><br />Is there any way to retain the old account and its blog history?<br /><br />How does one get an avatar (or any other aspect of account management) with this new system?<br /><br />Is TPM really insisting that I open up a Google/Yahoo/Twitter/Facebook account just to be able to comment?<br /><br />Finally, why is this better than the old account system (from a user's perspective)?<br /> ]]>
      
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<entry>
   <title>Palin Gets Pwned by Family Guy Voice Actor -- W/ Downs Syndrome</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/02/palin-gets-pwned-by-family-guy.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.320209</id>
   
   <published>2010-02-19T21:25:53Z</published>
   <updated>2010-02-19T21:30:01Z</updated>
   
   <summary>This is interesting: apparently Sarah Palin gets smacked down for having no sense of humor. What I find really interesting is that the NYT left out the real smack: &quot;In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised...</summary>
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      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[<p>This is interesting: apparently <a href="http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/18/family-guy-voice-actor-says-palin-does-not-have-a-sense-of-humor/?no_interstitial">Sarah Palin gets smacked down </a>for having no sense of humor. What I find <em>really </em>interesting is that the NYT left out the real smack:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes." </p></blockquote>
<p><em>Nicely </em>done, Ms. Friedman!</p>]]>
      
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</entry>

<entry>
   <title>Marketing To [Uninformed, Lying, Apathetic, Mouthbreathing] Independents</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/02/marketing-to-uninformed-lying.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.317728</id>
   
   <published>2010-02-04T18:36:45Z</published>
   <updated>2010-02-04T19:18:01Z</updated>
   
   <summary> Independents, a/k/a Finger-In-The Winders. How do you get the lasting support of uninformed, unprincipled couch potatoes who view government as a benefactor, and not as a mutual obligation? Independents are mouthbreathers. Personally I can&apos;t stand independents and how everyone...</summary>
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      <![CDATA[<blockquote>
<p><span><a href="http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/01/digging-in-the-insta-polls-obama-sotu-connected-with-viewers.php#comment-3766466">Independents, a/k/a Finger-In-The Winders. How do you get the lasting </a>support of uninformed, unprincipled couch potatoes who view government as a benefactor, and not as a mutual obligation?</span></p>
<p><span><span><a href="http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/01/digging-in-the-insta-polls-obama-sotu-connected-with-viewers.php#comment-3766638">Independents are mouthbreathers.</a></span></span></p>
<p><span><span><span><a href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/e/s/esk/2010/01/independents-count-but-not-mor.php#comment-3763647">Personally I can't stand independents and how everyone is always </a>catering to them. They don't know or care about politics enough to pick sides. Either that, or they are liars and pretending to be "independent" when actually they lean left or right.</span></span></span></p></blockquote>
<p><span><span><span><span>To paraphrase <i>Three 6 Mafia</i>, "</span><span>it's hard out here for [an independent] because a whole lot of [TPMers] talkin' shit</span><span>." Uninformed, lying, apathetic mouthbreathers is how some here describe <a href="http://www.pollster.com/polls/us/party-id.php"><strong>the majority of registered voters </strong></a>(Dem 32.4%, Rep 24%, <b>Ind 36.9%</b>). That kind of rhetoric catches my attention, being a registered Independent and all (well, officially it's "Unenrolled," but that term packs a lot of connotative baggage of its own). If you click on any of those linked quotes, you'll see that I've challenged a lot of these assertions, probably to little avail. My lack of success doesn't bother me as much as the simple existence of these assumptions and the unrestrained, nonchalant attitude that accompanies their expression. Perhaps I presume too much about the average TPMer, but I wonder and worry that such prejudices about independents may be prevalent among hard core Democrats, particularly the party leadership and minions.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p>&nbsp;As an Independent, why should I worry about what Democrats think about Independents? For the simply practical deduction that the two party system isn't going to go away anytime soon (Tea Bagger uprising notwithstanding), so any positive political good will have to come from the Democratic party if it ever comes at all. Basically, anyone embracing a progressive, liberal agenda is stuck with the Democrats....unless the Democrats manage to back themselves into the same corner in which the Republicans have been marinating for the past year: a small minority with only the power to obstruct. If that becomes the status quo for the Democrats, then even if the Republicans remain that minority or (worse) if they achieve ascendency and restoration, then we who really care about government of by and for the people can kiss this country goodbye.</p>
<p>So when I get called an uninformed, lying, apathetic mouthbreather (and troll, idiot, and thug), I have to ask, "why the hostility?" What do Democrats (or is it just TPM Democrats?) have against Independents?<span>&nbsp; </span>You're mad at us because....what? We don't believe in the same things you do? We don't fall in line when it really counts? We're really too stupid to know what's really good for us?</p>
<p>&nbsp;It's natural that when things don't work out, we start looking for someone to blame for our disappointment. However, one of my early mentors once advised me that "when you point the finger of blame, you should realize that three more are pointing back at you. Maybe there's truth in numbers." Which is to say, maybe the problem isn't those "uninformed, lying, apathetic mouthbreathers." Maybe it's you.</p>
<p>&nbsp;And by "you," I mean both the Democrats <i>and</i> the Republicans. Have you stopped to ask yourselves why there are more Independents than either of your memberships? I don't know and don't care if the Republicans are puzzling this out, but I would hope that <i>someone</i> in the upper echelons of the Democratic Party is. Just in case that someone reads TPM, let me offer a clue (and the remainder of this post is directed to that poor schmuck stuck in some cubicle in DNC headquarters reading liberal blog posts for some arcane reason):</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Your brand <i><u>sucks</u></i>.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It's not your ideas, it's not your platform, it's not your policies: your own polling and the most recent national election pretty much confirms the popularity of the Democratic agenda. No, it's your reliability, your competence, your service, and most of all, your sales team that are screwing the pooch. You promise to deliver the things We the People really want, really need. You wrap them up in pretty packaging, give wonderful motivational speeches that reinvigorate the Hope mechanism, and get us all gassed up for Change. We run around like people with a purpose and a dream again, getting your team into the driver's seat. Then when we hand you the car keys, you run through the full tank of gas by sitting in the driveway, stuck in neutral, revving the engine, and sucking face with the corporate whores who are ruining the neighborhood.</p>
<p>&nbsp;And not for the first time. We Independents have been let down by one side or the other for decades. You spend billions to gain our trust, you make all kinds of promises, and then when push comes to shove, you do whatever it takes to get reelected. That seems to be your primary motive: get in power and stay there. After a few cycles of this kind of insanity, a lot of people gave up and became unregistered (which is NOT to be confused with Independent). They became the truly apathetic, uninformed citizen. You betrayed their sympathy and it became apathy. However, a lot of people came to realize that unquestioned party affiliation (loyalty) just gave you license to take the habitual voter for granted and ignore our mounting anger and disgust. Some of us didn't quit the political system. We just quit the party. It doesn't serve us, so why stay? Given the dwindling numbers, you'd think someone would notice and try to figure out why. But unlike your corporate masters who know a thing or two about market share, you figure that you're the only game in town and eventually, the customer will come crawling back to you.</p>
<p>Only, those assumptions are no longer in play. Independents are now the largest part of the customer base....and they continue to grow. The effects of this are now showing up in the political system and it is a worrying trend. Both parties are peeling down to their cores and extremism has become a theme of the internecine struggles for "purity," loyalty, and "message discipline" that now infects both major parties. Keeping the base has become crucial for the Republicans, and Democrats are worried that they may have to dump some key constituents (can you say "fucking retarded progressives"? I knew you could!) to deflect the populist anger that bit their collective ass in several recent elections. Moderation is becoming scarce these days, particularly within Republican ranks. Anger and outright hostility born of <i>fear</i> is reflected in back rooms of Congress, the White House, and (go figure) political blogs.</p>
<p>Time for a little <em>Marketing 101</em>: when you're losing customers, <i><strong>don't blame the customer</strong></i>. Something's wrong with your brand. You either have a bad product or service (Republicans: take note); or you aren't delivering that product/service on time or well or at all; and/or you aren't marketing the delivery of that product appropriately or at all; or you're in the wrong business. I don't know which or which combination of these factors is the core problem for the Democrats. I do know, however, that you can't continue to bleed off membership to either the Independents or the Apathetics. We're rapidly approaching that critical number when enough Independents will coalesce into a coherent and cogent political force that can and may yet spell the doom of either or both of the major parties. The Tea Baggers aren't there yet. However, the Republicans are savvy enough to try to co-opt their ranks and use them as a foil against Democratic opponents. Scott Brown is a fairly good example.</p>
<p><span>The other thing that the Republicans are good at is marketing, even if it's all lies. They aren't making out Independents to be the bad guys. They aren't calling them names and offering them derision and scorn. They're actively courting those who have a propensity to align with their general principles and policies. If they lose elections, they tend to acknowledge that <a href="http://washingtonindependent.com/67443/ny-23-a-conservative-polling-memo-on-hoffman#more-67443">Independents make a difference</a>. They don't generally call Independents "uninformed, lying, apathetic mouthbreathers."</span></p>
<p>Maybe Democrats shouldn't either.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>]]>
      
   </content>
</entry>

<entry>
   <title>What Progressives Must Do Now</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/01/what-progressives-must-do-now.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.315638</id>
   
   <published>2010-01-23T13:15:52Z</published>
   <updated>2010-01-23T13:19:05Z</updated>
   
   <summary><![CDATA[Liberally ripped off from: Where do we go from here? &nbsp; We must, must, must pass health care reform and do so quickly. To squander the opportunity to extend health coverage to over 30 million people, a dream for progressives...]]></summary>
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      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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   <category term="36" label="economy" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
   <category term="862" label="health care" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
   <category term="33" label="immigration" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
   <category term="7673" label="progressives" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag" />
   
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      <![CDATA[<p><em>Liberally </em>ripped off from:</p>
<h1><a href="http://www.communitychange.org/blog/where-do-we-go-from-here/view">Where do we go from here?</a></h1>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>We must, must, must pass health care reform and do so quickly.</strong> To squander the opportunity to extend health coverage to over 30 million people, a dream for progressives for most of the 20th century, would amount not merely to a tactical retreat; it would constitute a surrender of the soul. Tactically, the best way to do this is for the House to pass the Senate bill with clear assurances that necessary improvements would be accepted by the Senate in a subsequent reconciliation bill. This is technically possible, but it will take an enormous push from the outside and for Congress to overcome their fear and make it politically possible. </li>
<li><strong>Boldly attack the economic crisis our country faces.</strong> For months, many of us have been pushing for a bold response to the titanic crisis of unemployment. The plan must be of a scope and scale that could plausibly do something about the crisis our country faces. The worst thing of all would be to pass a tiny, symbolic bill crippled at birth by deficit hawks. This would rightly only feed cynicism. Better to fight for something big, bold and ambitious and lose if Republicans choose to obstruct and filibuster. We must make conservatives explain why they are against putting people to work. Moreover, we must not apologize for having this debate; we can and must explain the necessary role of government and the limits of markets. The fireside chats of our time are necessary to move and shift public understanding, and there is no better time to begin than with the State of the Union next Wednesday. </li>
<li><strong>Press forward with immigration reform.</strong> It may be counter-intuitive, but this may be the only issue with a realistic hope of bi-partisan support left on the table when the dust settles. The Democrats need to stand and deliver for a growing, energized constituency that delivered for them in 2008 or risk demoralization of the base headed into 2010. The Republicans need to do something to take the edge off the hate if they are to avoid consigning themselves to minority status for 100 years, and some of them, notably Senator Lindsey Graham, seem to really get that. </li></ol>]]>
      
   </content>
</entry>

<entry>
   <title>Coakley vs. DC: The Democratic Blame Game Begins</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2010/01/coakley-vs-dc-the-democratic-b.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2010:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.314530</id>
   
   <published>2010-01-19T20:54:20Z</published>
   <updated>2010-01-19T21:00:11Z</updated>
   
   <summary>According to Politico, there&apos;s plenty of blame to go around of the foundering of Martha Coakley&apos;s senatorial campaign, and the Coakley team has their fingers out. Here are the key points of their complaint: The Coakley adviser&apos;s memo: National Dems...</summary>
   <author>
      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0110/Coakley_adviser_memo_DC_Dems_faled_Coakley.html">According to Politico</a>, there's plenty of blame to go around of the foundering of Martha Coakley's senatorial campaign, and the Coakley team has their fingers out. Here are the key points of their complaint:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>The Coakley adviser's memo:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>National Dems Failed to Aid Coakley Until Too Late<br /><br />-- Coakley campaign provided national Democrats with all poll results since early December<br /><br />-- Coakley campaign noted concerns about "apathy" and failure of national Democrats to contribute early in December. Coakley campaign noted fundraising concerns throughout December and requested national Democratic help.<br /><br />-- DNC and other Dem organizations did not engage until the week before the election, much too late to aid Coakley operation<br /><br /><br />Brown Capitalized on Concerns About National Democrats<br /><br />-- From the beginning, Brown labeled President Obama's health care and cap and trade plans as tax increases. Polling throughout the race showed this to be the most effective attack on Coakley.<br /><br />-- Coakley's lead dropped significantly after the Senate passed health care reform shortly before Christmas and after the Christmas Eve "bombing" incident. Polling showed significant concerns with the actions of Senator Nelson to hold out for a better deal. Senator Nelson's actions specifically hurt Coakley who was forced to backtrack on her opposition to the abortion restriction amendment.<br /><br />-- Democrats concerns with Obama's Afghanastain plan forced Coakley to oppose the Afghan war in the primary, which hurt her in the general.<br /><br />Claims about Coakley's Scant Campaigning and Miscues Were exaggerated<br /><br />-- Because of the failure of national Democrats to support Coakley, she was forced to devote significant time to fundraising in December. She also released a variety of plans in December and had a public event nearly every day.<br /><br />-- Coakley's failure to release television advertisments until 12 days before the election was the result of a fundraising problem that national Democrats failed to resolve. Meanwhile, right wing groups pumped significant amounts of money into Brown's campaign allowing him to go up with ads first, including negative attack ads funded by the Swift Boat and Willie Horton groups.</p></blockquote></blockquote>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Sounds like the Dems are their own worst enemy....as usual.<br /></p>]]>
      
   </content>
</entry>

<entry>
   <title>Where Have All The (GOP) Women Gone?</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2009/11/where-have-all-the-gop-women-g.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2009:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.299761</id>
   
   <published>2009-11-03T15:18:43Z</published>
   <updated>2009-11-03T15:23:24Z</updated>
   
   <summary>The Daily Beast has an interesting blog by Linda Hirshman on How The GOP Loses Women: Watch out, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. Locked in a Republican primary battle for governor of Texas, and unwilling to say women should go to...</summary>
   <author>
      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[<p>The Daily Beast has an interesting blog by Linda Hirshman on<a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-11-01/how-the-gop-loses-women/?cid=hp:beastoriginalsL2"> How The GOP Loses Women</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Watch out, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. Locked in a Republican primary battle for governor of Texas, and unwilling to say women should go to jail for their abortions, she is the next duck in the barefoot and pregnant shooting gallery. All the coverage has been about the conservative attack on the Republican establishment. But Scozzafava's defeat and the mounting campaign against Hutchison reveals a fascinating and underreported problem for the Republicans: They will only run women who will say that women should not control their reproductive fates. Although there are many male Republican candidates who easily embrace this position, politically accomplished women who believe in criminal abortion are rare, even in the Republican Party. And the ones who surface are likely to be, well, rogue.</p></blockquote>]]>
      
   </content>
</entry>

<entry>
   <title>There&apos;s A Monster On The Loose</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2009/10/theres-a-monster-on-the-loose.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2009:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.298807</id>
   
   <published>2009-10-29T11:35:22Z</published>
   <updated>2009-10-29T11:41:05Z</updated>
   
   <summary>(Monster)Once the religious, the hunted and wearyChasing the promise of freedom and hopeCame to this country to build a new visionFar from the reaches of kingdom and popeLike good Christians, some would burn the witchesLater some got slaves to gather...</summary>
   <author>
      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[<p>(Monster)<br />Once the religious, the hunted and weary<br />Chasing the promise of freedom and hope<br />Came to this country to build a new vision<br />Far from the reaches of kingdom and pope<br />Like good Christians, some would burn the witches<br />Later some got slaves to gather riches</p>
<p>But still from near and far to seek America<br />They came by thousands to court the wild<br />And she just patiently smiled and bore a child<br />To be their spirit and guiding light</p>
<p>And once the ties with the crown had been broken<br />Westward in saddle and wagon it went<br />And 'til the railroad linked ocean to ocean<br />Many the lives which had come to an end<br />While we bullied, stole and bought our a homeland<br />We began the slaughter of the red man</p>
<p>But still from near and far to seek America<br />They came by thousands to court the wild<br />And she just patiently smiled and bore a child<br />To be their spirit and guiding light</p>
<p>The blue and grey they stomped it<br />They kicked it just like a dog<br />And when the war over <br />They stuffed it just like a hog</p>
<p>And though the past has it's share of injustice<br />Kind was the spirit in many a way<br />But it's protectors and friends have been sleeping<br />Now it's a monster and will not obey</p>
<p>(Suicide)<br />The spirit was freedom and justice<br />And it's keepers seem generous and kind<br />It's leaders were supposed to serve the country<br />But now they won't pay it no mind<br />'Cause the people grew fat and got lazy<br />And now their vote is a meaningless joke<br />They babble about law and order<br />But it's all just an echo of what they've been told<br />Yeah, there's a monster on the loose<br />It's got our heads into a noose<br />And it just sits there watchin'</p>
<p>Our cities have turned into jungles<br />And corruption is stranglin' the land<br />The police force is watching the people<br />And the people just can't understand<br /><strong>We don't know how to mind our own business<br />'Cause the whole worlds got to be just like us<br />Now we are fighting a war over there<br />No matter who's the winner<br />We can't pay the cost<br /></strong>'Cause there's a monster on the loose<br />It's got our heads into a noose<br />And it just sits there watching</p>
<p>(America)<br />America where are you now?<br />Don't you care about your sons and daughters?<br />Don't you know we need you now<br />We can't fight alone against the monster</p>
<p>© Copyright MCA Music (BMI)<br />All rights for the USA controlled and administered by<br />MCA Corporation of America, INC</p>
<p>From the 1970 release "Monster"&nbsp;<br />Words and music by John Kay, Jerry Edmonton, Nick St. Nicholas and Larry Byrom</p>]]>
      
   </content>
</entry>

<entry>
   <title>Was Obama REALLY Black Before the Election?</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2009/09/was-obama-really-black-before.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2009:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.291669</id>
   
   <published>2009-09-22T17:27:13Z</published>
   <updated>2009-09-22T18:29:15Z</updated>
   
   <summary>Sometime before Barack Obama became the flavor of the month in last year&apos;s primary election, a white friend opined that Obama would have a difficult time appealing to enough white people to get the nomination (a calculus that had some...</summary>
   <author>
      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <![CDATA[<p>Sometime before Barack Obama became the flavor of the month in last year's primary election, a white friend opined that Obama would have a difficult time appealing to enough white people to get the nomination (a calculus that had some currency but was nonetheless disproved in time). Another friend, an&nbsp;African American, responded that he might have even more trouble garnering black votes because, "Obama may be an African American, but he's really not black." When pressed for elaboration, he responded with pretty much the same argument found <a href="http://letters.salon.com/opinion/walsh/politics/2009/09/22/race_and_the_media/permalink/e9eb76503049250336c502fe13c51123.html">here in this comment on a Salon editorial</a>: Obama's blackness is informed not so much by a shared history of other blacks, but observations of their experiences.... <em>he is not the descendant of former slaves. He did not grow up listening to the stories of at least one side of his family passing down the history of the enslavement, lynching, and oppression of his forefathers and mothers. He is unique, in that his father was from Africa who did well, married a white woman and raised in general affluence. He has no relatives that were lynched or died at the hands of police choke holds. No cousins or brothers are sitting in prison for drug or violence related offenses.</em></p>
<p>Tichy's premise seems to ring true as we observe how Obama tends to skitter away from the issue of race and takes a less confrontational, less authentically black tack. Yet, as both Carter, Walsh and Tichy conclude, race is something with which Obama will have to grapple if he is ever going to make any progress on the social issues which comprise his political agenda. The question is: is our first multicultural president (as Tichy describes Obama) the right man to handle the dog whistles and the appeals to our history's coarser nature? Is his approach of making white America feel less uncomfortable about race and its unsavory role in American life an honest, courageous&nbsp;means of confronting an issue that won't just go away regardless of how many generations wander in the desert? Or is he just "kicking it down the road" for the first really&nbsp;<em>Black </em>president to finally address? Paraphrasing <a href="http://www.rbvincent.com/pdf.files/Thomas_Higginbotham.pdf">A. Leon Higginbotham, Jr. to Clarence Thomas</a>, is Obama black enough to be not just post-racial, but really <em>anti</em>-racist?</p>]]>
      
   </content>
</entry>

<entry>
   <title>The Pot Is Boiling Over: Signs of Life From the MSM</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/s/c/schmedley/2009/06/the-pot-is-boiling-over-signs.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2009:/talk/blogs/schmedley//2586.274794</id>
   
   <published>2009-06-12T16:10:31Z</published>
   <updated>2009-06-12T16:42:20Z</updated>
   
   <summary><![CDATA[Yesterday, The Commenter Formerly Known as NCSteve wondered: "How many more&nbsp;murderous rampages by enraged rightists--whether executed or merely in the planning stage--are we going to have to endure before the traditional media is willing to acknowledge and address the obvious?...]]></summary>
   <author>
      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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   <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/schmedley/">
      <![CDATA[<p>Yesterday, The Commenter Formerly Known as NCSteve <a href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/the_commenter_formerly_known_as_ncsteve/2009/06/how-many-more.php">wondered</a>: </p>
<blockquote dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">"How many more&nbsp;murderous rampages by enraged rightists--whether executed or merely in the planning stage--are we going to have to endure before the traditional media is willing to acknowledge and address the obvious? &nbsp;How many people are going to die, and how highly placed will the victims have to be, before someone connects the dots and starts calling out the ever more violent, hateful&nbsp;and apocalyptic rhetoric of the likes of Coulter, Malkin, O'Reilly,&nbsp;Hannity and Savage&nbsp;as bearing some responsibility for creating this climate of insanity?&nbsp;"</p></blockquote>
<p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">I'm not certain if we're beginning to see the MSM arouse from its recession-induced navel gazing, but I did find some hopeful signs that at least some quarters are becoming atuned to the ugly reality that is the temperament of current American politics. First, there's <a href="http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_HOLOCAUST_SHOOTING_MORE_HATE?SITE=INLAF&amp;SECTION=HOME&amp;TEMPLATE=DEFAULT">this AP story </a>that notes the correspondence between the Holocaust Museum shooting and the upswing in activity among fanatic right wing extremist groups. Second,<a href="http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_BLOGGER_ARREST_LAWMAKERS?SITE=VAWAY&amp;SECTION=HOME&amp;TEMPLATE=DEFAULT"> another AP piece</a> shows that at least the folks in Connecticut are getting serious about bloggers who are inciting violence: apparently Hal Turner has a history of telling folks who read his blog who should live and who should die. Interestingly, he apparently wanted CT Catholics to do the CT legislators in.</p>
<p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">I'm wondering if these two pieces are indications that long overdue attention to the dangerous extreme right will finally be pulled out of the deep, dark recesses of the MSM's consciousness, or OTOH they're just temporary blips on the radar. I haven't enough clairvoyance to be able to say for sure, but here's what I'm going to do nonetheless: I'm finally going to make use of RSS technology to follow the CT story to its conclusion. I have no faith in today's media to be able to stay focused on critical issues like these and provide the kind of coverage that shines the bright light of scrutiny needed to keep these very dangerous atavists at bay. Like NCSteve, I hope to be proven wrong.</p>]]>
      
   </content>
</entry>

<entry>
   <title>More Palin Humor</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/10/more-palin-humor.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2008:/talk//17.221961</id>
   
   <published>2008-10-04T19:55:54Z</published>
   <updated>2008-10-04T19:55:54Z</updated>
   
   <summary>While sewing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah...</summary>
   <author>
      <name>Schmed</name>
      
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      <category term="Election Central" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
   
   
   <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/schmedley/">
      <![CDATA[<p>While sewing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President .</p>
<p>The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."</p>
<p>Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.</p>
<p>The old rancher said, "When you're&nbsp; driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."</p>
<p>The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know she didn't get up there by herself; she doesn't belong up there; she doesn't know what to do while she is up there; and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."</p>]]>
      
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</entry>

<entry>
   <title>AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN!</title>
   <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/10/an-important-message-from-the.php" />
   <id>tag:tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com,2008:/talk//17.221194</id>
   
   <published>2008-10-01T19:08:27Z</published>
   <updated>2008-10-01T19:08:27Z</updated>
   
   <summary><![CDATA[To the&nbsp; citizens of the United States&nbsp; of America, from Her&nbsp; Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.In light of&nbsp; your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for&nbsp; President of the USA, and thus to&nbsp; govern yourselves, we hereby give...]]></summary>
   <author>
      <name>Schmed</name>
      
   </author>
   
      <category term="Cafe" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
   
      <category term="Election Central" scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" />
   
   
   <content type="html" xml:lang="en-us" xml:base="http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/schmedley/">
      <![CDATA[<p>To the&nbsp; citizens of the United States&nbsp; of America, from Her&nbsp; Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.<br /><br /><strong>In light of&nbsp; your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for&nbsp; President of the USA, and thus to&nbsp; govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your&nbsp; independence,</strong> <strong><em>effective immediately. <br /></em></strong><br />Her Sovereign Majesty Queen&nbsp; Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states,&nbsp; commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).&nbsp; </p>
<p>Your new Prime Minister,&nbsp; Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further&nbsp; elections. </p>
<p>Congress and the Senate will&nbsp; be disbanded.&nbsp; </p>
<p>A questionnaire may be&nbsp; circulated, next year, to determine whether any of you&nbsp; noticed.&nbsp; </p>
<p>To aid in the transition to a&nbsp; British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with&nbsp; immediate effect: <br />&nbsp; (You should look up&nbsp; 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) <br /><br />1. Then look up aluminium,&nbsp; and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just&nbsp; how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. </p>
<p>2. The letter 'U' will be&nbsp; reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour', 'labour' and&nbsp; 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without&nbsp; skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by&nbsp; the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your&nbsp; vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').&nbsp; </p>
<p>3. Using the same twenty-seven&nbsp; words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know'&nbsp; is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is&nbsp; no such thing as US English. We will let M*crosoft know on your&nbsp; behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into&nbsp; account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of&nbsp; -ize.&nbsp; </p>
<p>4. July 4th will no longer be&nbsp; celebrated as a holiday. </p>
<p>5. You will learn to resolve&nbsp; personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact&nbsp; that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not&nbsp; quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting&nbsp; grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or&nbsp; speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.&nbsp; </p>
<p>6. Therefore, you will no&nbsp; longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a&nbsp; vegetable peeler. (Although a permit will be required if you&nbsp; wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.)</p>
<p>7. All intersections will be&nbsp; replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left&nbsp; side, with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric,&nbsp; with immediate effect, and without the benefit of conversion&nbsp; tables.&nbsp; Both roundabouts and metrication will&nbsp; help you understand the British sense of humour. </p>
<p>8. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you&nbsp; have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to&nbsp; it. </p>
<p>9. You will learn to make real&nbsp; chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and&nbsp; those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called&nbsp; crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed&nbsp; not with catsup but with vinegar. </p>
<p>10. The cold tasteless stuff&nbsp; you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth,&nbsp; only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European&nbsp; brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager.&nbsp; South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound&nbsp; the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the&nbsp; beer. They are also part of British&nbsp; Commonwealth -&nbsp; see what it did for them.&nbsp; American brands will be&nbsp; referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold&nbsp; without risk of further confusion. </p>
<p>11. Hollywood will be required occasionally&nbsp; to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast&nbsp; English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell&nbsp; attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was&nbsp; an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese&nbsp; grater.&nbsp; </p>
<p>12. You will cease playing&nbsp; American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you&nbsp; call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed&nbsp; to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but&nbsp; does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing&nbsp; full kevlar body armour, like a bunch of nancies). </p>
<p>13. Further, you will stop&nbsp; playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the&nbsp; World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are&nbsp; aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is&nbsp; understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the&nbsp; South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.&nbsp; </p>
<p>14. You must tell us who&nbsp; killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. </p>
<p>15. An internal revenue agent&nbsp; (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you&nbsp; shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to&nbsp; 1776).&nbsp; </p>
<p>16. Daily Tea Time begins&nbsp; promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs,&nbsp; with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries&nbsp; (with cream) when in season.<br /><br />God Save the &nbsp;Queen!&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /></p>]]>
      
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