In his bizarre attempt at self-service Monday, President Bush couldn't avoid mangling his sentiment that the White House press sometimes "misunderestimated" him, and at that point it became patent, in an unsettling way, that part of him will be missed - that buffoonish, slapstick component of the 43rd president so warmly reminiscent of stumblebum hilarity... of the Bowery Boys, of Lou Costello.

We can expect few of those gleams of pratfall nostalgia tonight, when he gives what will be an expectedly hyper-rehearsed final address to the nation. This will probably wind up as Bush's own burnishment of the past eight years, so we'll see less channeling of his inner Curly the Stooge, and more of his dressed-up, well-spoken Defiant One - George W. Bush, would-be warrior, angry ex-cheerleader. Bring it on.

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What do you say when no-shows show up the Detroit Auto Show?

Well... hopefully it'll be something less obsessively alliterative than that.

Even still, it's a pretty big deal when the century-old North American International Auto Show throws its annual shindig in Motor City and and it's stiffed by so many top car companies - Nissan, Mitsubishi, Rolls-Royce, Land Rover, Ferrari, and Suzuki. Porsche has been MIA for the past couple of years.

A run-down of that list tells us that some of these brands don't exactly crank out economy models. With the economic downturn, it could be well-heeled buyers are passing on Rolls and Ferrari this year and opting for that no-frills Prius line, so budget cutbacks are in order. Certainly, Mitsubishi and Nissan have taken it on the nose with Japan's helping of the meltdown; Nissan has had other trouble, with some bad automotive media reviews dicing up recent models.

But since we live in such a fussy, postmodern era - compelled constantly to apply literary conceits to the real world - it's tempting to see the Detroit show as (what's that word?) symbolic of our deteriorating status globally.

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