An Advance Celebration of Our Catastrophic War with Iran
Obama's dishwater climate plan is the same as nothing, the Kyoto Protocol likewise, and if anything can save the planet from even more catastrophic distortion of our climate than what's already inevitable, it's war with Iran.
Ahmadinejad will immediately close down the Persian Gulf, and the price of oil will attain levels where "economic incentives" to reduce emissions will actually impress the morons who run our system, and the even more abject morons who vote them into office and buy the stinking trash sold in "free markets" everywhere.
Oil will surpass $200 per barrel the first week of the war, and then...
Nobody will even denominate oil in dollars any more, and your trip to McDonald's would cost you a truck-load of almost worthless paper... but you can't afford to drive a truck.
Did you ever want to be a billionaire? You'll get your wish, Buckwheat!
...for the price of a cup of coffee!
And meanwhile all those other economic incentives will disappear!
The "economic incentives" to burn down the rain-forest will disappear, because export markets will disappear, and good fucking riddance!
The stinking brown cloud that covers India and Pakistan will disappear, because all those stupid little scooters and all those ugly little cars and kerosene cookers and almost every truck in South Asia will run out of kerosene and gas, and likewise with thousands of similar shit-storms created by burning oil!
And meanwhile apocalyptic destruction of habitat and annihilation of hundreds of thousands of species year after year after year will finally slow down, and factories cranking out AK-47's for every little boy and girl in Africa will finally slow down, and industrial furnaces from Shanghai to Milan will finally cool down, and maybe the planet can take a deep breath for the first time in fifty years, and begin to repair itself.
And we owe it all to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and his posse of mindless medieval mullahs!
Mahmoud and the Mindless Mullahs!
Rock and roll!
It is time for you to just shut the f**k up. You bring nothing to the discussion except childish taunts. If you want to "educate" people about the folly of a war with Iran, go to the wing-nut sites, and stop trying to imply that Obama wants to do this.
If you hate Obama so much, at least bring up a topic that demonstrates his faults.
Oh.
And
Don't
Call
Him
Buckwheat,
asshole!
September 27, 2009 7:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Don't call who "Buckwheat?"
Apparently the Obamabot brigade has shrunk to a few really dense and paranoid suckers like CVille Dem, and...
I treasure each and every one of them!
September 27, 2009 7:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Spoken without irony. This is the most serious joke yet.
September 27, 2009 7:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think the Buckwheat reference was directed at the average American, generally speaking and not at the President.
However, it does seem increasingly clear the President is siding with the pro-attack forces by way of his ballyhooed condemnation of Iran over it's "secret" facility that the entire west was aware of for a long time. The saber rattling and threatening gestures also portend highly negative intentions on the part of the US government.
September 28, 2009 1:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
It's late, and i can't think properly, but this guy seems to have thoughts along reasonable lines in terms of putting the puzzle together:
http://aawsat.com/english/news.asp?section=2&id=18175
He talks about the 'disappearance' of netanyahu into Russia a week or two ago, which event i didn't follow; this guy has a theory about its significance, which might seem absurd when I wake up tomorrow, or might be outdated.
September 28, 2009 2:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
It's late, and i can't think properly
Treat your A.D.D., people. You do it today, you'll feel better for it tomorrow...
September 28, 2009 5:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
Dude!
Reading Tariq Alhomayed at the peak of my daily curve is hard enough, and all credit to diachronic for backing off instead of forming some half-baked opinion on the fly.
What? Run that by me again, Tariq!
Likewise...
This is simple enough... if you already understand the ideological and evolutionary differences between the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt and the Muslim Brotherhood in Jordan!
September 28, 2009 8:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well now, mr. blue vegetable, I have a different take on this whole situation, but I really need to make some din-din. Green chile burritos; I know you were dying to know. You are smart when you're not being Simply Incendiary. Come on, feed yourself some comfort food with some protein back-up. Then we'll talk.
I remain your hopelessly naiive friend,
wendy
September 27, 2009 7:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, wendy.
I like you, too, and your avatar.
Raccoons are a very appropriate sort of avatar for us bloggers, apparently solitary little animals who nevertheless enjoy a rich variety of social interactions out of sight of prying eyes, although raccoons were usually portrayed as "solitary carnivores" before Stan Gehrt took the trouble to actually observe them for his revolutionary re-evaluation in Raccoon Social Organization in South Texas. (Dissertation at the University of Missouri-Columbia) Gehrt, Stanley D. (1994).
September 27, 2009 7:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
It is much appreciated that you provide references such as these (so much more satisfying than a lazy link). I never would have otherwise learned that the genus name of the raccoon was that of my favorite star in Canis Minor (on reflection, where else could it be?).
September 27, 2009 8:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
Har! The little bear!
And it's so great that you have a favorite star! How many people could say that? Everybody has a favorite TV show or celebrity or color or flavor or whatever, but how many people have a favorite star?
BTW I have a favorite insect, dragonflies, but until this moment it never even occurred to me to have a favorite star!
September 27, 2009 8:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Har to you! Keep looking if you want to find a favorite star, rootie.
Ursa Minor is the little bear.
Canis Minor is the little dog. The constellation has only 2 stars, and rises before Canis Major, of which Sirius is the main star.
I would have guessed an entirely different insect for your fave, but since dragonflies are sort of "preppy" insects, I guess I'm not surprised.
September 27, 2009 9:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why so "serious?"
On a (more) serious note, I think the insects you refer to love the fact that I don't allow anyone to spray pesticide in my apartment.
September 27, 2009 9:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
CVille is right for once, and raccoons are so habitually identified with bears that I projected "bear, bear, bear..." onto Canis Minor.
...like Waschbär in German or orsetto in Italian, and Linnaeus originally classified raccoons in the genus Ursus.
Raccoons are amazingly quick when they want to be, although they mostly just amble along, like bears... and then suddenly disappear, literally in a blur!
September 27, 2009 10:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
dragonflies are beautiful, and so are bees- though so much of my appreciation of the natural world comes secondhand, through artwork. I was teaching a young student this morning "how to read," and I asked her to draw something from a book- whatever she wanted. She drew a fantastic sketch of a bee sipping from a flower, with a spider "following it"- that is what she said, when I asked her what the spider was doing.
Isn't that a remarkable idea? No colors, except for a pale blue pencil-all outline- nothing else. Needless to say, there was nothing "in the book" that could compare- though it catalyzed something- which is what "reading" means to me.
As for Procyon there are two reasons for its being my favorite star. First its name, which sounds synaesthetically like a greenish blue, or bluish green- the same slightly ominous tinge in cyanide. Second, I had a dream about this star years ago, which is probably why the name has acquired a hyper-associativity for me. (Yes, now the raccoon, the star, and the pale blue insect and arachnid are linked- it's been a good day!).
September 27, 2009 9:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your lovely story about the bee reminds me of a time when I took my son to a nature center. The guide asked each of the children to close their eyes, and to describe what they were touching.
When my son touched the skin of a snake, he said it felt like a strawberry! I closed my eyes, opened my mind, and when I let my finger be guided so that I touched the dry skin of the ball python with one finger, I had to agree that it really did feel pretty much like a strawberry.
But I realized that I never would have come up with that on my own. Every now and then I get reminded that to think outside the box you have to actually step outside of it and stretch the old brain -- thanks for doing that today!
PS - I have a favorite star too -- Vega. I wanted to name my daughter after it, and she is forever grateful that I did NOT!
September 27, 2009 9:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Vega- good name for a star, horrible name for a car!
September 28, 2009 1:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Solitary? The little jerks are never solitary when they launch their commando raids on my garbage cans.
September 28, 2009 9:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
Going NIMBY again?!?
September 28, 2009 1:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
No puzzle that multiple inquiring minds and fully opposable thumbs can't figure out.....
September 28, 2009 5:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
I heard on a program called "Numb3rs" last night that scientists probed the gaseous clouds in the Milky Way, hoping to find amino acids. The found a molecule called ethyl formate, which is the chemical that makes raspberries tast as they do.
Ergo: "Does the MIlky Way taste like raspberries?"
Wow. Food for thought?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5191040/Astronomers-find-Milky-Way-could-taste-of-raspberries.html
September 27, 2009 9:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Food for thought?"
Oh, you shameless punster!
But I like the story of raspberry galaxies, although the Telegraph also mentions a very icky poison, propyl cyanide, in the mix.
September 27, 2009 10:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Maybe it's the scent of raspberries that's driving Andromeda to cannibalize its neighbors- including us:
http://paxalles.blogs.com/paxalles/2009/09/andromedas-cannibal-strain-galaxy-eats-neighbors-stars.html
Of course, a 'galaxy' is intrinsically an appetizing concept.
September 28, 2009 1:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
I absolutely could not understand the video in that link!
September 28, 2009 8:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
raspberry galaxies
">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA5-3xOKQAE"> "one man could do justice to "raspberry galaxies" A man with so much gravitas, the earth shakes under his tread.
Spoiler alert: Put down the cup and swallow the coffee. Proceed.
September 28, 2009 10:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
owe it all to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Now, waaaiiiit, just a minute...I am going to argue that giving all the credit to the Persians really disrespects The Lobby.
You don't have to be a "truther' to see the truth that only one government in the Middle East even potentially experienced a strategic bump (albeit only till they tried to use their new unchallenged hegemony) from Saddam's "neutralization" and that was Israel's.
That said, and loathe tho I am to interrupt the general dump-on-rootapalooza might we not profitably actually consider some of the colorfully framed arguments he/she/*it makes?
If you are looking for a DRAMATIC reversal in co-2 discharge, you could do worse than his/her/its scenario.
More to the point (if I may be foregiven this flight of imagination) other than the command economy of China, where will be find the political will to produce reductions of the scale he/she/it references
The "colorful" part, of course, is where we ignore the human costs of such an economic contraction--but then, there can be no doubt that expondntially greater suffering will attend business as usual.
(*On the internet, nobody knows you're virtual (pace, wendy..,I mean really irtual, like a committee or something).
September 28, 2009 1:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
Agreed, jollyroger; I'm just saying that I am hoping beyond hope that Obama knows the dangers of any military smashing in Iran. At least he USED to be clear that he knew. He may be the one person who can make alliances of leaders who can prevent Israel from striking them with nuclear bunker-buster bombs we sold/gave to Putin. The non-proliferation agreement Obama got was puny, but at least it's a move in the right direction. If Russia is gaming him, then Arrrrgggh. China is a true wild card in the matter for me; and I wonder about all these proposed "sanctions" that might be imposed on Iran. Plenty of US corporations have been doing business there during all the Axil of Evil crapola.
What committees?
September 28, 2009 9:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Never mind. I get it now; RUTA may be a committee. That was pretty good, there, jollyroger! A rubberbanded CLUMP of rutabagas with pointy teeth.
Pace accepted, and noted, dear. Will swallow it with Milky Way dust, hold the proyl cyanide.
September 28, 2009 10:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
Obviously the Mind of Magnitude (TM) can't fit in only one earthly body, and in fact the umma of rutabagas is a 100 Tflops/s 3-tier distributed network interconnected underground by 50 Gbit/s full-duplex root-filaments.
September 28, 2009 5:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mr. Kurzweil! Can I call you Ray?? (no, wait--he's still in wetware, is he not...)
September 30, 2009 1:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
raspberry galaxies
Only one man could do justice to "raspberry galaxies" A man with so much gravitas, the earth shakes under his tread.
Spoiler alert: Put down the cup and swallow the coffee. Proceed.
September 28, 2009 10:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
That was niiiice. Here's one next to it, really cycle-delic!
God, when shatner put palin's resignation speech to song...my starz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Ar79f8aN8&feature=related
(took yer advice on the coffee, but i still choked a little guffaw, and it tasted like rassel-berries.) (yup; i am officially tripped out by that factoid now.)
September 28, 2009 11:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
Two events occurred last week that immediately disappeared from discourse once President Obama talked of a secret second nuclear site in Iran.
First Israel was asked to open up its nuclear sites for inspection.
Second, and far more reprehensible was the UN report citing Israel for War Crimes in the Gaza.
The effect of Obama's shameless, sabre rattling against Iran was to deflect from those two events.
For the US and Obama to have any credibility re nuclear sites, they must take the same stand with all nations. The US and Obama must demand Israel submit to inspection by the IAEA.
And what of the Israel's War Crimes? When Libya's Ghaddafi spoke at the UN last week, some UN members (including the US) walked out because they thought a terrorist leader/nation should not have an audience. When Israel's Netanyahu spoke and tried to justify the War Crimes, there were no walk outs. Indeed the US is on record, through its UN ambassador, saying it does not accept the findings of the UN re Israel's War Crimes.
I for one believe in a world free of nuclear weapons. Iran should not get them and Israel should not have them. Open all sites to the IAEA.
War Crimes MUST be prosecuted. Israel and the Bush Administration must be prosecuted for War Crimes and Crimes against Humanity.
Iran is not a threat to the US. What is a threat to the US is when we as a nation turn a blind eye to War Crimes.
September 28, 2009 6:31 PM | Reply | Permalink