Top 10 Boxes Cheney Lifted
10. Mini jewelbox of plutonium-impregnated marbles he lost in George H.W. Bush White House (including Aggie used to beat president Ford and brain matter used against Bush II with apparent success).
9. Jumbo corrugated 60" x 48" box of manure dumped on Tim Russert in first 15 seconds of 2002 "Meet the Press" interview.
8. Lockbox containing .000001 percent of wealth looted through Halliburton.
7. Bottomless box of mint-quality (unused) scruples.
6. Shoe box with $8,000 of Bailey Building & Loan money left by Uncle Billy in folds of newspaper.
5. Shipping container of WMDs.
4. Box of X-acto knives used on U.S. Constitution.
3. Trunk containing lifetime of withheld love and a sled named "Rosebud."
2. Ring box with rejected yearning for human feelings.
(drumroll...)
1. Crate of lead-lined pants used to cover his big, fat, despotic ass.
9. Jumbo corrugated 60" x 48" box of manure dumped on Tim Russert in first 15 seconds of 2002 "Meet the Press" interview.
8. Lockbox containing .000001 percent of wealth looted through Halliburton.
7. Bottomless box of mint-quality (unused) scruples.
6. Shoe box with $8,000 of Bailey Building & Loan money left by Uncle Billy in folds of newspaper.
5. Shipping container of WMDs.
4. Box of X-acto knives used on U.S. Constitution.
3. Trunk containing lifetime of withheld love and a sled named "Rosebud."
2. Ring box with rejected yearning for human feelings.
(drumroll...)
1. Crate of lead-lined pants used to cover his big, fat, despotic ass.
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ROTFLMbuttO!
January 20, 2009 5:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Also.
=D
January 20, 2009 6:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
I take it you did not like Dicky.
January 20, 2009 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
#11. Box with screenplay of Dr. Strangelove, (the original model for all neocon foreign policy), with personal notes in margins.
January 20, 2009 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
12. Unreturned gift with Whoville address.
January 20, 2009 6:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well done, Ripper. :-)
January 20, 2009 6:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
13# Bumper stickers that declare, "My daughter is a lesbian and I am proud!"
Note: John Edwards said this for him during the VP debates and it left him speechless.
January 21, 2009 12:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
#6 is perfect, he really got into the Potter role today with the wheelchair and everything.
January 21, 2009 2:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
He looked ready to foreclose on someone.
January 21, 2009 3:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
Does anyone really believe Cheney even lifted a box? I think he had a minor stroke a la Sanford style... "I'm comin' to join you Lee (Atwater)..." It was really funny looking at him during the inaurguration. He looked mighty grim. So long suckers. Good bye, and good riddance.
January 21, 2009 8:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
Box 13: Portable Undisclosed Location.
January 21, 2009 9:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nice one.
January 21, 2009 10:43 AM | Reply | Permalink
#14 steamer trunk with various documents, photographs, etc., with dirt on all his subordinates, Dubya and anyone else who might think of ratting him out in the future.
January 21, 2009 3:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
It could happen.
January 21, 2009 4:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Harry Shearer had a nice "Dick Cheney Confidential" bit on Le Show the other night where Addington stopped by his office last weekend to burn some emails in Cheney's man size furnace. Addington offered him a job at a think tank he and some friends were starting up and Cheney demurred saying he was going back into the private sector. He alluded to the prospect of lucrative business dealings with an unnamed country which Addington correctly guessed is Iran much to Addington's consternation. As Cheney recounts the visit he expresses momentary reservations about having divulged his secret to Addington but shrugs it off reminding his audio diary he never turned the furnace the on.
January 21, 2009 6:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
#15 Osama Bin Laden (to be brought out on special occasions)
January 21, 2009 4:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
All tied up in a bow. Another nice one.
January 21, 2009 4:26 PM | Reply | Permalink