No, I really don't have "self-esteem issues". Actually I pretty proud of myself and am extremely happy. Every issue within a society or country that needs serious consideration and evaluation is unique. Whether it's race, discrimination, human rights, legal injustice or whatever. As with the issue of Gay marriage, the aspects and consideration are unique. My opinions and ultimate decision to consider a viable alternative are based on the unique influences that have molded many of the people within Gay society. The argument I make has nothing to do with condoning inequality or injustice. Rather I am trying to make the point that right now, today, I do not feel like something as revolutionary and untried as legal marriage should be thrown onto a society (Gay) with so many opportunities for mass failure. I see nothing wrong or unequal with incrementally introducing civil unions, with significant guaranteed rights before making marriage available. After all, what the Hell is Marriage? What people want is to be able to receive recognition and protections that straight people receive. This is equality. And I believe this can be obtained with strong civil unions legislation.

To believe Gay people are not heavily influenced by the proliferation of bars and clubs that substitute for "Community" is uninformed. And if you believe that the "entertainment" establishment within Gay society is not basically the only avenue of socializing, finding partners to establish relationships, even relative information and much more, then you either are not Gay, or are completely out of touch with the mechanics of Gay life. Being constantly in the influence of this lifestyle does not constitute a mindset conducive to a healthy, lasting relationship. Unfortunately, the bars are pretty much the only available "Community" we have. This is simply a fact. And they do not strive to educate or empower people in any positive manner. Take a young man that has been deprived of an otherwise "typical or normal" societal influence and it's hard to see how he will develop in a manner that would be helpful in understanding the full consequences of legal marriage. Heterosexuals on the other hand have many more methods and opportunities to expand their ideas of what the responsibility of marriage entails. Whether they make it work or not is another story.

You asked about my experiences in regard to my family. I must preface with what happened initially.

I joined the Marines when I was 17, by 2 days. After serving TWO tours in Viet Nam and most of the remaining time of my enlistment, it was revealed that I was Gay. I was immediately detained and held in solitary confinement in a 5foot by 10 foot, concrete floor cell for two months . After being sent for psychiatric evaluation I was ordered court martial-ed. I was promptly discharged. I received a "Undesirable Discharge w/dishonorable conditions." I was stripped to the rank of Private, lost all pay and benefits (Education, VA Hospitalization, VA Home loans, everything). Everything ever issued to me by the government was confiscated. I was escorted by Military Police to the base main gate. Told to get out of the vehicle and walk to town, 12 miles. I was given a 32 dollar bus ticket, all I received for three years of dedicated service to my country. I was, after all, Gay.
After arriving home and explaining to my parents, brothers and sister in excruciating, humiliating detail what had happened, it was pure Hell.
My Father first demanded I stay away from my younger brother. He then flipped open his Bible and read the usual passages regarding lying with man, etc, etc. He demanded I pack my things. He drove me to the airport and told me to get out. I had 2 dollars in my pocket. The rest of this story is irrelevant, just more misery.

After about 15 years of estrangement my Mother somehow got the rest of the family to accept ME, not my homosexuality. Eventually, they did, reluctantly.

Today we are once again a close family. But my being Gay or anything about my personal life is never discussed, ever. Everyone's concession to have peace.

I know not everyone that is Gay has this kind of confrontation with their family. But many do. I have heard so very many very sad stories from others who have had a wide variety of very negative results. To be honest, to have one's family readily and unconditionally accept their child, when informed he/she is Gay, is rare indeed. No matter what anyone else may say or think, it's rare.

The Bush/Cheney years were a shock to my system. It was a period of repression and corruption so perverse I could not reconcile with my 60 odd years of living in a progressively advancing country I was so very proud to be a citizen within. It went against every fiber of belief I had in a system that has been so successful and effective for more than 200 years. I feared constantly perhaps the damage was so immense and had become so entrenched it might be unrecoverable. Then along came Obama. With a vision so refreshing and a promise so compelling, there was hope. I had genuine hope that we would be restored once again to the America I knew and longed for. That had so irrationally and quickly been subverted by Neo Cons and self-serving criminal minded politicians and corporate opportunists.

To be frank and honest, to my utter disappointment Obama first loaded his cabinet with Clinton operatives and Wall Street insiders. They immediately and predictably set out to further the bankers vise grip hold and ever growing influence on our country. The Goldman Sachs sledgehammer has been painfully entrenched in this administration. He not only did not change the abhorrent practices and policies of the Bush regime, he has steadfastly maintained and even strengthened them. Obama wants the Patriot Act renewed. He voted for a detrimental revision of FISA and immunity for the telecom wiretapping violators. From torture and rendition to spying on American citizens and continuing the illegal wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, everything he promised to end and make right is still firmly in place and growing. None of the injustices or the perpetrators of these crimes have been held to account. In fact, the prospect of going after them has diminished and even been discouraged by Obama and the still in power legislators that enabled the whole thing. The billions upon billions of dollars in bail-out funds are mostly unaccountable and in some cases outright missing. The promised recovery of that money is doubtful, and probably always was. DOMA is still in place and the Health Care debacle could have and should have been avoided. It seems like nothing more than a distraction from other pressing issues, at this point.

So. Doc, I am still a patriot. I love America as much as ever. But for the reasons I have listed I am not yet willing to hand over my confidence and trust to Obama. And I truly wanted to. I bet everything on it, my vote. Now I want to see some positive results. As I also said, I remain hopeful but cautious. Time IS running out.

Actually, I should be qualified to receive this care. I served in the U.S. Marine Corps and served TWO tours of duty in Vietnam. But there turned out to be one little problem in my case. Toward the very end of my enlistment, it was revealed I was Gay. This earned me a "Undesirable" discharge. A reduction in rank to Private. Confiscation of anything ever issued to me by the government and a Military Police escort to the outside of the base main gate at Camp Pendelton, where I was told to get out and walk to town to catch a bus. With the only thing I was allowed for my service, a 32 dollar bus ticket home.

Doc Magnus, I am in concert with your conveyed urgency to step it up in order to keep the pressure on in all areas of discontent. Having said that, I am not completely convinced we have achieved any "great victory" yet. At this point I am more than a little skeptical that we have got anything close to what was presented. I am trying hard not to be cynical. I don't want to have to realize the old "Bait and Switch" has been used on a hopeful, desperate mass. That would be tragic almost beyond words. It is sobering, however, to know there are now few alternatives but to wait and see. I do remain hopeful, but cautious.