In my inbox yesterday, this CV summary:

Wall Street mover/shaker now accepting offers:

Creative financier. Talented rainmaker. Innovative lender.

Recent Achievement Example: accepted $1.2 trillion from Federal Reserve, non-recourse, at 0.0001% annual interest rate. Invested in T-bills at 4%. No risk, remarkable spread. Infinite ROI a/c zero capital requirement. Returns $48 billion annually. How's that for creative financing?

Reason for leaving present position? Kenneth Feinberg says I can't have my 10% of $48 billion earned commission. #@&*! government thinks it can do my job, just let them try it.

Currently vacationing in the Seychelles. Interested parties may apply by leaving a message on my cell phone. Phone messages that do not clearly specify the compensation package will not be returned. All offers will be considered on a first come, first served basis. Do not leave multiple messages, because that's needy.