The Best Quiz America Ever Saw. Ever.
Nationalism. It irritates the hell outta me, and I think it's pretty much the most destructive force left on the Earth. However. I also recognize the argument that different nations and their citizens can have somewhat different national characteristics. Which is what we'll be exploring in today's... QUIZ! (DickD, sit down and stop shouting. And no, Minnesota is not the right answer. To any question. Ever.)
Now, I get asked about the Canadian thing quite a bit. Some have suggested I should be sent from TPM to a frozen hell for my commenting sins. Then they stop... and think... redundant, right? And in truth, I'm not much of a Canadian nationalist. I've spent as much of my adult life in the USA and UK as I have in Canada, and my family is spread across 3 countries. Even today, I'm not overly-enthused about Canada's anthem, flag, Constitution or political leaders.
And yet... and yet... Canada does have universal health care, gun control, solvent banks, gay marriage, it's in Kyoto, has an energy surplus and a long tradition of peacekeeping. So, maybe there's something to this national characteristics business. What's given me the nudge to blog on this is that Canada just bought 12.5% of G.M. Which means it's probably time we get to know each other a little bit better. Who knows, that old saying - "What's good for G.M. is good for America" - may need a new coat of paint. Now. As Mrs. MacPherson used to say, "What better way to learn than through a quiz? Eh, children?" Well, what better way indeed?
Here's how it's played: I drew up a list of Canadian singers, actors, inventors and action figures that most Americans will know. I then set out choices which will help in highlighting our different national characteristics. Your job? Pick out the Canadians. It starts easy, gets harder, and the points rise accordingly. And yes, I may use the occasional trick.
ANSWERS AT BOTTOM OF POST. DON'T BE LOOKIN' IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE KNOWIN'.
AND NO USING WIKIPEDIA. There's no benefit to you from cheating. Other than gloating. And getting a higher score. And probably succeeding in life, vs. totally failing.
PART I. TWENTY REALLY FREAKIN' EASY ONES, JUST SO WE ALL GET SOME POINTS ON THE BOARD, EH? 2 POINTS APIECE. NOW, LET'S PLAY... FIND THE CANADIAN!
1- Star Trek's Manly & Decisive Captain, James T. Kirk (William Shatner) or... Chief Engineer and Totally-The-Biggest-Whiner-Ever, "Scotty" (James Doohan)?
2- Actress/Adultress Pamela Anderson, famous from Baywatch and the whole Tommy Lee sex video thing, or... Lucy Maud Montgomery, author of Anne of Green Gables?
3- The great economist John Kenneth Galbraith, author of The Affluent Society, standing 6' 9" tall and noble of bearing, producing another fine economist as his son, and ultimately living to age 97, or... Malcolm Gladwell, pop sociologist who has written the so-called "books," The Tipping Point, Blink and Outliers?
4- The inventors of the hand-held electronic device, the Blackberry, or... the long-haired hippie environmental founders of Greenpeace?
5- Torture-freak Jack Bauer of 24 (Kiefer Sutherland) or... cosmic e-hero and Savior of us all, Neo, from the Matrix (Keanu Reeves)?
6- Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) or... Big Fat Loveable John Candy (Johnny LaRue, Dewey Oxberger, Yosh Shmenge)?
7- Top-notch investigator Samantha Bee of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, or... bedpost-notching Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) of Sex & the City?
8- The creators of the joyous and transformative Cirque du Soleil, or... the inventors of the sit-on-your-fat-asses-and-try-to-remember-useless-facts game, Trivial Pursuit?
9- "America's Sweetheart," Mary Pickford, or... "Canada's Snowbird," Anne Murray? (Ok... may need to work on these.)
10- Social critic Naomi Klein (No Logo & The Shock Doctrine), or... Nationalist Socialite, Charles "Krazier Than A Shithouse Rat" Krauthammer?
11- Wrestler "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, or... Bret "the Hitman" Hart?
12- Selfish Young Republican Alex P. Keaton of Family Ties (Michael J. Fox), or... "Uber-Wimp" Chandler Bing of Friends (Matthew Perry)?
13- Lookalikes Lily Munster (Yvonne De Carlo), or... Celine "Please God, Won't Somebody Kill Her" Dion?
14- Lorne Michaels, creator/producer of Saturday Night Live, or... James Cameron, director of really REALLY big shows like Titanic, Terminator and Aliens?
15- Show-off architect Frank Gehry with his Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, or... Seller of useful household products, The Fuller Brush Man?
16- Master of Scottish & Liverpudlian accents, Mike Myers (Wayne's World and Austin Powers), or... The very loud Jim Carrey (Dumb & Dumber and Ace Ventura)?
17- Ellen Page of "Juno," or... Rachel McAdams, of "Mean Girls"?
18- Margaret Atwood, or... Saul Bellow?
19- James Gosling, creator of the programming language "Java," or... another guy named Gosling, "Ryan" Gosling, an actroid who has starred as a Neo-Nazis Jew, a crack-smoking teacher, and a guy named Lars who falls in love with a blow-up doll.
20- Bob & Doug McKenzie (I donno their real names, who does?) from "The Great White North," or... Leslie Nielsen from Airplane?
Just like being back in school, eh? C'mon... Turn it up.
