Satire it with me: I pledge allegiance to the Flag...
We are Americans and by definition we love Freedom, that's why we always capitalize it. And Liberty, too! They are not the same thing, only socialists believe that to be true. We love Freedom and Liberty and we hate Terrorism. We capitalize that word too because we hate it so much. And we also hate anyone that does not love America. So, it is pretty plain to see that our great country is based on a great deal of Love and Hate (both capitalized). To be metaphorical, if we were, as a nation to get a tattoo, it would be the classic LOVE HATE theme on each fist. That would be a perfect symbol of America. But we don't need to get a tattoo, metaphorical or otherwise, because we already have a perfect symbol for America: the Pledge of Allegiance. And if I had my way, the whole damned thing would be capitalized and boldfaced!
But shamefully, we don't know our Pledge of Allegiance as well as we should. Now is the perfect time to revisit the old Pledge, before we step into that voting booth and pull a lever that is either going to Ch-Ching for all of us like a Jackpot-spewin' one-armed bandit, or unleash a global guillotine that will undoubtedly cut off our collective noses to spite our collective faces.
Do you even remember your Pledge of Allegiance? Fine, but do you know its history? Yeah, ha! I doubt it. But do you really know the Pledge, do you even know the fine print? Do ya? Huh? Do ya? Let's just see about that:





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