The Date: July 1st, 1964

Scene: The While House - LBJ's Private Study

Caught in a time warp of their own lies, those wacky time-traveling Republicans in Congress and certain limp-willed, spineless Democrats find themselves in the presence of LBJ.

LBJ: "My God!  Where did y'all come from?"

Republicans: "We're here to help you, Mr. President."

LBJ: "And who the hell are y'all?"

Republicans: "We're what happens to your party in the future."

LBJ: "Y'all were Democrats?"

Republicans: "That's right Mr. President.  We were once like you."

LBJ: "And now you're Republicans.  Except you sniffling sidewinding varmints over there in the corner.  You call yourselves, 'Democrats'?"

Cowardly Democrats: "Yes...Mr. President..."

LBJ: "Why, in my day, we'd take you out back and..."

Republicans: "We can't do that anymore.  Except on Fox News."

LBJ: "What's that?"

Republicans: "It's where we spread our message.  Bring folks to our way of thinking."

LBJ: "You can't fool an old horse trader like me.  You mean brainwash 'em."

Republicans: "...not exactly.  We tend to think of it as guided education.  Like why we're here tonight, Mr. President."

LBJ: "And that is...?"

Republicans: "That thar bill.  The one on your desk.  I take it you're thinking about signing it?"

LBJ: "My place in history is assured with this piece of legislation."

Republicans: "There is another way to keep your party together.  Unified."

LBJ: "What do you mean?  What happens?"

Republicans: "You sign and then we once Southern Democrats will become Republicans."

LBJ: "The whole South?"

Republicans: "All of us."

LBJ: "You will become the other party."

Republicans: "Not only that.  We'll even have some of your Democrats acting like Republicans."

LBJ: "How the hell does that happen?"

Republicans: "That damn Civil Rights Bill of on your desk.  You sign it.  It becomes history..."

LBJ: "...and that's how it all happens?"

Republicans: "Look, Mr. President, as a Southerner you appreciate havin' things stay the way they are.  Knowing you can count on your friends and family and church.  Knowing who's got your back.  Everyone knows their place, if you get my drift?"

LBJ: "I know things are going to change.  We've got to change.  The Nation's changed.  The South's got to change too."

Republicans: "But you see, Mr. President, we don't want to change.  We just don't want it.  Change, that is...  We want our women to stay home.  Our children to be who we tell them to be.  Vote as we tell them to vote.  But giving civil rights to everyone.  Isn't that too much change too quickly?  Can't we go a little slower?  Keep things on an even keel for a while more." 

LBJ: "But everything's changing.  Can't y'all see that?  Even this thing in Vietnam is changing.  It's gettin' worse all the damn time.  And with President Kennedy gone, I just need to figure out the right course.  And Martin been barkin' at me to protect his people.  Do you think you can just keep lynchin' and intimidating this whole group of people forever?"

Republicans: "We just think if we can hold off just a while more..."

LBJ: "We've got a Voting Rights Bill coming up.  And I'd like to see some sort of national health insurance bill passed...you know, one where everyone can get coverage.  Americans say they want this."

Republicans: (Moaning and grinding of teeth...same among with the weak-kneed Democrats hiding among the Republicans.)

LBJ: "What wrong with y'all?  We can't stop this from happenin' forever.  People have a limit to how much they'll take.  This is what happened in Texas.  We had enough and pushed back.  Real hard!  Even with losin' all those fine men and women at the Alamo, we didn't let that keep us down."

Republicans:  "Not 'forever.'  Just a while longer, Mr. President.  They're nice enough people.  Let history take care of them."

LBJ: "We fought a terrible war amongst ourselves by listening to those who said history would solve our problems.  We need to address these things now.  Not wait.  God, when I was in the Senate if I waited for history we would have never gotten anything done.  That's like waiting for Dick Nixon to resurrect himself (laughs)."

Republicans: "Well, Mr. President, actually...(amongst themselves: 'This isn't the time to tell him about Nixon.')  Look.  We'll make you a deal: you hold off signing the bill and we'll stay in the Democratic Party."

LBJ: "Are you threatening me (rises from chair to his full height)?"

Republicans: (Congresswoman from the Midwest) "We want to protect our Nation and families and churches and schools from those who won't wrap themselves in the flag and get a little blood on themselves!"

LBJ: "What?"

Republicans: (Same Congresswoman)  "You heard me!"

LBJ: "She been drinkin' whiskey and branch water?"

Republicans: (Same Congresswoman) "Why, you old..."  (Other Republicans to Congresswoman: "Not now!")

LBJ: "Regardless of what y'all say, I'm signin' this bill.  Tomorrow.  I think Martin will be there.  And maybe Bobby too."

Republicans: "There's nothing we can do?"

LBJ: "Support my Voting Rights Bill and then health care reform!  This is going to be a Great Society, mark my words."

Republicans (Stepping back from The President as a group): "Not if we have anything to say about it.  We'll never stop trying to push the clock back.  Not now.  Not tomorrow.  Not in the future.  Never."

LBJ: "You ain't stoppin' this Texan!"

Republicans: (Amongst themselves..."Wait till we tell Rick Perry about this!")

LBJ: "Damn, knew I shouldn't have had that third helping of brisket at supper.  Lady Bird told me to stop.  Well, guess what I'm seein' can only be caused by a bad case of indigestion.  Where's my antacid tablets?  Lord willing I can get these folks out of my system tomorrow morning after breakfast in the upstairs bathroom."

(A mist rises from the floor...sweeping those fun-loving, change-hating, wacky Republicans and their jellyfish Democratic fellow-travelers back into the future to await their just desserts-...)

 

 

The Scene: Caught in a time warp of their own lies, the Republicans in Congress are transported back to the evening when President Lincoln is about to sign the Emancipation Proclamation. 

Lincoln: "Gentlemen, who are you?"

Republicans: "Mr. President, we're your Party from the future."

Lincoln: "Why then, you are most welcome."  (Aside: "Am I dreaming?")

Republicans: "Thank you, Mr. President."

Lincoln: "You are welcome.  Please be seated."  (To himself: "Those of whom can find a place to sit.")

Republicans: "Thank you again, Mr. President."

Lincoln: "I was about to sign a most important document, Gentlemen."

Republicans: "What is that, Mr. President?"

Lincoln: "It is a document that will emancipate all the slaves.  I will call it, 'The Emancipation Proclamation'."

Republicans: "Perhaps we arrived just in time, Mr. President."

Lincoln: "Why is that?"

Republicans: "It might be better if you wait."

Lincoln: "Why should I wait, Gentlemen?  Does not the Document fulfill its Destiny?"

Republicans: "It does that, Mr. President."

Lincoln: "Well, then is there a problem?"

Republicans: "It works too well."

Lincoln: "How is that?"

Republicans: "Well, just as we said, it works a little too good."

Lincoln: "I don't understand."

Republicans: "Look at this way, Mr. President.  What if we have 'African-Americans' (that's what we call them in the future) voting and one of them ran for President?  And he won.  You wouldn't want that, would you?"

Lincoln: "An American Negro. For President.  I never had thought about that possibility..."

Republicans: "See what we're talking about..."

Lincoln: "...I guess that could be a logical possibility?  Interesting..."

Republicans: "...and he was hell bent on turning everything upside down."

Lincoln: "Doing what, if I might inquire?"

Republicans: "Well, you know, things."

Lincoln: "What things?  Really Gentlemen, it can not be all that bad in the future, can it?"

Republicans: "He's just doing stuff that he shouldn't be doing..."

Lincoln: "Is he intelligent?  I mean by that Gentlemen, is he an educated man.  Does he read the Bible?  Shakespeare?  Does he have a family?  Children, a loving wife?"

Republicans:  "He has daughters.  And yes, he's educated.  Real smart in fact.  Harvard and places like that.  A lawyer like you, Sir.  Pretty wife too."

Lincoln: "Gentlemen, I really can't see the problem.  He sounds like a fine human being."

Republicans: "You see, Mr. President, that's just the problem.  He is.  And you started it.  Right here.  By signing that piece of paper there on your desk.  Now, if you didn't.  We just waited a while.  Say, let us handle things in the future..."

Lincoln: "You mean, deny him the right to be free, to find his own destiny?"

Republicans: "Mr. President, as the future members of your Party, we..."

Lincoln: "What about all the brave Negro soldiers who have fought and are fighting to end this terrible conflict?  Their care and well being and the future care of their health?"

Republicans: "Necessary casualties, Sir.  You have to fight any war with what you have.  They'll be fine.  They've always been so.  Health care.  No problem.  We have hospitals and big corporations that handle all our health needs nicely in the future."

Lincoln: "...I even entertain the dream that one day even women can have the same rights as men."

Republicans: "Mr. President, that happens.  But it ain't working too good either.  The family, well, the family is all changed when women...  Some of us in your Party have even written scholarly papers about this.  This gentleman here..  About women and the family.  In the future, that is..."

Lincoln: "I see you have women present.  There are women in our Party?  Ladies..."

Republicans: "Well, Sir, they're really like us.  Members of the 'Men's Club,' if you follow our train of thought...hint, hint."

Lincoln: "So, if I understand you, you wish me not to sign this."

Republicans: "Yes, Sir, we do."

Lincoln: "...and deny this man in the future his rightful place in history?"

Republicans: "It isn't exactly like that, Sir.  You'd have to be there to understand.  He lies.  And we're not even sure he was born in America.  And there are other things..."

Lincoln: "Gentlemen, and Ladies, my question still remains, why should I deny this man his birthright?  Or any man, woman or child because of the color of his, or her skin or his or her birth?"

Republicans: "The bottom line, Mr. President, he's killin' the Party.  We're trying everything we can think of to destroy him.  We've even got people callin' him the 'AntiChrist' and things like that.  Nothing works.  So right now, with that little old document there on your desk, we can stop him cold."

Lincoln: "You mean, alter history."

Republicans: "Exactly."

Lincoln: "Sacrifice this man on the altar of history for the sake of the future, at least the future as you want it?"

Republicans: "Good, Sir, you understand."

Lincoln: "But then, if I alter history, you all might not be here too?"

Republicans: "Hum...  We hadn't thought of thought."

Lincoln: "Does my Party grasp the role of the intellect in the future?  Do you collectively have a sense of morality, of goodness, or honesty?"

Republicans: "Why, Mr. President, we're honest as the day is long..."

Lincoln: "I fear for my Party's future..."

Republicans: "We doing just fine Mr. President.  We just finished eight great years.  Then, this, this, man who inherits the whirlwind you could unleash tonight by signing..."

Lincoln: "Be gone foul spirits of the Night...do not trouble my soul with your dark words." 

Republicans: "But, Mr. President..."

Lincoln: "My heart is indeed heavy with fear for the Nation.  But, by signing, if I can bring this man into this House that I now inhabit...  Then, with the strength of the Almighty, I will invoke that Power and my power as the President of these United States and affix my name now to this Proclamation."  [Signs the Emancipation Proclamation.]

Republicans: "Help!  We're fading...we've failed....help us...we've lost to our future..."

 

End.

 

Republicans: "Do you know why you're here?"

Galileo: "Because..."

 Republicans: "That's right, because of what you believe."

 Galileo: "What I believe?"

 Republicans: "We know you are spreading hidden messages to our children.  Corrupting them.  All those far out ideas and theories of yours."

 Galileo: "I only believe what I have seen with my own two eyes."

 Republicans: "You lie!"

 Galileo: "It's the truth..."

 Republicans: "We'll decide what is and isn't true."

 Galileo: "But how can I say what is not..."

 Republicans: "Apparently you didn't hear what we're telling you.  We and only we decide that."

 Galileo: "But the earth revolves around the sun."

 Republicans: "That's ridiculous!  We all know the sun revolves around the earth."

 Galileo: "But I saw..."

 Republicans: "We'll tell you what you should see and not see."

 Galileo: "But how can I deny what I have seen with my own eyes?"

 Republicans: (amongst themselves: "He doesn't hear too well, does he.  He's too intelligent.  Next he'll be telling us the earth is round!")

 Galileo: "When I look up into the heavens..."

 Republicans: "...you see that the sun revolves the earth, the earth God has given us to dominate."

 Galileo: "Must you be so narrow minded?"

 Republicans: "Don't lecture us, boy."

 Galileo: "I'm..."

 Republicans: "You probably weren't even born here!  Do you have a valid birth certificate?  One that's real, that wasn't forged?  Or are you a foreigner?  An alien?"

 Galileo: "I was..."

 Republicans: "We don't believe you any more than we believe all these crazy notions you've been spouting off about.  Before long you'll be telling people we all evolved from apes."

 Galileo: "Evolution...to evolve.  I hadn't thought of it before that way.  Very interesting."

 Republicans: "...and that the earth isn't flat.  You are a troublemaker, that's for sure."

 Galileo: "But gentlemen, the core of science is observation.  To look at our natural world and try to understand how it works.  Isn't that enough evidence of God's handiwork?"

 Republicans: "Science has one purpose and one purpose only.  And that is to serve religion.  Science must always bend its knee before faith."

 Galileo: "What if that is not what I have observed?"

 Republicans: "Then your eyes are lying."

 Galileo: "How can I not see what I see?"

 Republicans: "Very easy.  You see what we tell you to see."

 Galileo: "I cannot lie.  What will history say?  What will the future hold for all of us if there is no truth?"

 Republicans: "We are the ones who will write history.  The future will be ours.  Not yours or your kind."

 Galileo: "I am sad for you and your minds and hearts which will not hear the wonderful discoveries I have made with my own eyes.  The earth and the sun and all the celestial planets are..."

 Republicans: "...are ours and ours alone to educate our children about, including where they are in the heavens."

 Galileo: "...I ask again, 'What am I to do?'"

 Republicans: "Don't think.  We'll do the thinking for you.  Got that!"

 Galileo: "But..."

 Republicans: "No 'buts' about it.  You keep your mouth shut.  No talking or writing or public speaking about this.  Nothing.  Got it?"

 Galileo: "Nothing?"

 Republicans: "The sun and all the planets revolve around the earth.  Which is flat.  We all know that and that's the God's honest truth."

 Galileo: "What?"

 Republicans: "It's simple.  There is only one truth.  It is what we will tell you."

 Galileo: "But I have seen with mine own eyes the glory of..."

 Republicans: "Be careful you don't get too uppity.  We'll destroy you if you do.  Simple as that.  Learn your place and stay there.  That's all your kind has to do."

 Galileo: "God help me, I can't!"

 Fine

 

 

 

 

 

And he turned to those who waited to hear his word and spake unto them saying:

"Blessed are they who have lost hope from all the years of the Bush Administration harsh and prideful policies, for they shall find hope.

"Blessed are they who have lost their homes while million dollar bonuses are paid to wealthy hedge fund executives and bankers, for they shall find shelter and comfort.

"Blessed are they who have lost their jobs from all Republican blessed insider malfeasances of the past eight years, for they shall find gainful employment.

"Blessed are they who are without medical insurance as the insurance industry only cares about their own profits and bottom line, for they shall be given full coverage.

"Blessed are they who have been victims of greed by Wall Street Bankers and shady Republicans operatives, for they shall find restitution.

"Blessed are they whose pleas for health care reform have fallen on deaf ears due to lying lobbyists offering handfuls of silver coin to heartless politicians, for they shall be heard.

"Blessed are those who speak the truth in spite of Republican obstructionist lies, for they shall be given the voices of angels.

"Blessed are they who have hungered after righteousness their whole lives only to have it denied by Right Wing Demagoguery, for they shall be made whole.

"Blessed are they who have held their light in the darkness of the past eight Bush/Cheney years, for they shall see the Glory of God.

"Blessed are they who were tortured and abused by those in position of power and authority, for they shall receive the balm of Heaven and everlasting life.

"Blessed are all the children who cannot find food or shelter as the pockets of corrupt Republicans grow fatter, for they shall be given food and shelter by my servants and those who love me.

"Blessed are those living in cars and eating in soup kitchens, now their 'home' after uncaring Republican governors and legislators put their own political standing and reelection over the needs of those whose sacred care was put in their trust, for their reward shall be great.

"Blessed are those veterans who were abandoned and left to fend for themselves by the Bush Administration, for they shall find wholeness and peace.

"Blessed are those who have been slandered and called 'liar' by they who claim to sit in the Seat of Judgment lording over others, for their truth shall endure until the ending of the World.

"And blessed are those who give to those in need without thought of the color of the person's skin or their creed or their economic status, even as wealthy Republican politicians take from the poor and give tax breaks and windfall profits to their rich ultra-conservative secessionist friends and fellow-travelers; these who give shall be called 'Beloved of God' forever."

And Jesus went up on a mountain and the children came unto him.  But before he could open his mouth and speak, those who lay in wait with scorn began to spread lies about him among the parents of the children.

They told the people, "Do not listen to his words.  They are full of hidden signs and symbols.  He will bring about the ruin and destruction and corruption of your children."

And the people listened to these untruths and began to murmur amongst themselves.  "We should protect our children, lest their minds and hearts be filled with his ungodliness."

Others who hated him said his words would lead the children to hate as he hates.  "We know he hates those who are not like him," they said.  "If you let them listen to him, your children will become like him.  They will turn their backs on you and follow only him and his kind."

Again, those who heard these words believed what they were told, not knowing the Dark Forces behind these untruths--those who abide on C Street and practice evils with secret Cabals of Republicans.

As he rose to speak, some of those who were present turned their backs on him, sheltering their children with their cloaks, walking down the mountain away from him.  Others held up signs, the writing accusing him of the most vile of things.

They that watched from afar smiled in the darkness of their hearts, for they saw the multitudes move like sheep at their bidding.  "It is good that we do these things to destroy him.  He was about to speak to the children of tolerance and learning and those higher things of his.  He can have them, for we want the people to know only what we tell them."

And again he tried to speak to the children, but the crowd yelled all the louder.  "We do not wish to hear what you have to say to our children!"

"But I speak only..."

"Leave us," they shouted, their faces red with hate.  "Our children do not wish to hear your words.  We know they are those that will corrupt them."

He spoke above the noise, "O fickle generation, how can your minds be so weak that you will not hear the Good News that I bring?"

Edged on by those hidden within the crowds, those planted there, the servants of those who hated him (some even paid with pieces of silver) began to gather up stones.

And he walked away from them, leaving them with their anger and lies rotting and putrefying their bodies and minds.

Turning to those around him, he said, "We will overcome this, for the Light is stronger than the Darkness, even the Darkness they harbor in their hearts."

And so it came to pass that it was time for Jesus to begin his ministry.  As he walked among the people spreading the Good News, they that carry evil in their hearts, came to where he would speak to the multitudes. 

They held signs up for all to see and accosted him with harsh and biting words.

"Why do you speak like this?" they would yell at him, spittle shooting from their mouths in derision.

And he attempted to answer them, saying that it is the Fullness of Time that the Good News should be given to all.

But they rebuked him, saying, "Who are you to say this to us?  And by what authority do you speak?"

And he said unto them, "I speak for the sick, the poor, the undertroden, those without shelter and those who are without hope."

Whenever he spoke, these who harbored the Dark One in their hearts would heap scorn upon him, saying, "We do not need you.  We do not need change."

Jesus spoke unto them, "It is not my will but the will of the people that I speak thusly, they that have sent me."

In the crowds, those who denied him, picked up stones, saying, "You have no authority over us.  You do not speak for us."

And Jesus answered them, "I am of your flesh and blood.  I am..."

But they would not let him finish, for their anger consumed them, as the chaff is consumed by the flame after it is separated from the wheat.  "How can you call yourself, one of us?" they mocked him.  "You were not even born among us."

Jesus answered, "I was born of Mary and Joseph the carpenter in the town of Bethlehem..."

"No!" they shouted, "You were not born here.  You were born in foreign country.  We have the original copy of your birth papers."

"Will you not listen to reason?" he asked them, pleading, his heart reaching out to the multitude.

"You are not our leader."  So spake the crowds, urged on by the Republicans and the Servants of the Dark One, those who abide on C Street.   Shouting all the louder, the showed their heels to him, saying, "Show us the proof!"

And he said unto them, "Do you not have eyes to see and ears to hear?  Is this generation's hearts so hardened that they will not hear the Truth when it is given to them?"

In darkness those who denied his birth plotted and schemed, for they knew that their lies, like seeds dropped by the wayside, would sprout and grow into thorns and thickets, there to ensnare the unwary and foolish. 

 For they themselves wished to have his power, that they might use it for their own fashion over the people who loved him.  "We will deny him his birthright," they said amongst themselves.  "We will destroy him." 

Joseph, because of the census pushed through by the Republicans in Congress, found himself having to travel to his hometown.  He was without a job or healthcare.  He had a new wife, Mary, who was pregnant.  The Republicans in Congress had ordered the census so they could find out how many working people were left. The census was really a plan, conceived by the Republicans in the dead of night, to make Joseph and other working people like him carry the heaviest tax burden.  (After all, this deceit had been successful before for the Republicans.  And it had helped their friends, especially the CEO's of the Health Care Interests.  Why not try it again, they reasoned amongst themselves?)

So Joseph and Mary began their long journey.  They had to travel on foot because the local bank, now owned by a much larger impersonal bank, had repossessed their car.  Joseph's pleas that his pregnant wife would have to travel on foot were met with deaf ears. And the week before, that same bank had begun foreclosure on their modest home with Joseph's garage-workshop, even after Joseph had begged for a mortgage modification.  The bank's agents had ignored his cries for help.  Joseph did not understand why the Republicans in Congress kept telling all who would listen that everything was fine the way it was.  He had no job, no home, no health insurance, no car and a pregnant wife.  But the Republicans kept saying over and over again that we shouldn't move too fast to change things.
 

And so it came to pass that it was Mary's time to deliver.  Since Joseph did not have health insurance, he and Mary had to stop at a local shelter.  Later, the Republicans would claim it was all part of a 'divine plan.'  The 'divine plan' being that Jesus would be born on the floor of a homeless shelter. 

No medication was available for Mary, because Joseph no longer qualified for any co-pay plans.  And besides, the cost of the drugs had been kept so high by the Corporate Health Care Interests that Joseph would now need to choose between feeding his new family or obtaining the necessary medication for Mary.  Joseph was confused.  Why had the Republicans blocked health care?  Why had they kept taking money from Corporate Health Care Interests when his family had no money and needed a medical insurance plan?  And why wasn't help available so he could provide medicine to Mary and their new baby?

Joseph hoped that once he reached his hometown, things would be different.  But in a dream, an Angel told him that The Birthers, The Footsoldiers of the Republicans and Corporate Health Care Interests, were already there waiting for them and the child Jesus. 

So Joseph and Mary and the child fled to another place, waiting until it was safe to return.  

 Note: This story is copyrighted by the author and may not be reproduced in any form in any media or other format without his expressed permission.