My Father the Wingnut
I was somewhat surprised by my personal reaction to the story about Michele Bachmann's son joining Americorp.Normally I would be amused at the irony. Instead, I felt ... sympathy?
My father is 75 years old and over the past fifteen years or so, he has devolved from a fairly enlightened and thoughtful person into an angry, lobotomized right-wing parrot. He watches Fox News and listens to Rush Limbaugh all the times and when a political discussion breaks out at family gatherings, he invariably mutters something he heard Limbaugh or Beck or O'Reilly say. I used to argue with him, but I don't bother anymore. What's left of his mind is made up.
When I was a kid back in the 1960's, we lived in the western suburbs of Chicago and my father was the local director of an ecumenical church program called Friendly Town. The idea was to bring underprivileged, mostly afro-american children out of Chicago to stay in more affluent, suburrban homes for a couple of weeks. The white suburban kids (we were all white in my town) got exposure to afro-americans and the afro-american kids got a taste of the "good life." The two week stinit ended in a big picnic with all the families who particpated in the program attending along with the families of the children who were visiting. Some of the connections made with this program were lasting ones. This program was wildly progressive at that place and time and my father took a lot of heat for it in the local community.
I mention this because my father was my liberal role model. I'm a liberal today because of things like this that he did back then. One of the the great disappointments in my life is that my father is so different now. His political transformation has changed our relationship across the board and I'm very sorry it happened that way. For this reason, I guess I feel a bit of sympathy for what's going on in the Bachmann family. I hope they do better at dealing with it than my father and I do.
My father is 75 years old and over the past fifteen years or so, he has devolved from a fairly enlightened and thoughtful person into an angry, lobotomized right-wing parrot. He watches Fox News and listens to Rush Limbaugh all the times and when a political discussion breaks out at family gatherings, he invariably mutters something he heard Limbaugh or Beck or O'Reilly say. I used to argue with him, but I don't bother anymore. What's left of his mind is made up.
When I was a kid back in the 1960's, we lived in the western suburbs of Chicago and my father was the local director of an ecumenical church program called Friendly Town. The idea was to bring underprivileged, mostly afro-american children out of Chicago to stay in more affluent, suburrban homes for a couple of weeks. The white suburban kids (we were all white in my town) got exposure to afro-americans and the afro-american kids got a taste of the "good life." The two week stinit ended in a big picnic with all the families who particpated in the program attending along with the families of the children who were visiting. Some of the connections made with this program were lasting ones. This program was wildly progressive at that place and time and my father took a lot of heat for it in the local community.
I mention this because my father was my liberal role model. I'm a liberal today because of things like this that he did back then. One of the the great disappointments in my life is that my father is so different now. His political transformation has changed our relationship across the board and I'm very sorry it happened that way. For this reason, I guess I feel a bit of sympathy for what's going on in the Bachmann family. I hope they do better at dealing with it than my father and I do.
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you should not let politics affect your relationship with your father. Period. I don't care how correct your position is - you are as wrong as wrong can be. Love trumps politics. Your expession - calling him a "wingnut" says it all.
August 12, 2009 10:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
It is what it is.
August 12, 2009 10:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Most of my family are either uninvolved or wingnuts...I get where you are coming from. We just don't discuss politics at family gatherings anymore, unless we break into groups of like-minded people...mine is a small group. Although I still love them, I have lost respect for some...
August 13, 2009 12:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
How can politics not affect a person's relationships with other people be they blood related or not? Politics is more than a vote for this candidate or that candidate. Its about values and beliefs. Its about how people should treat people in this world. The things my parents say and do often offend me. There are so many things we can't talk about without getting into an angry argument. At the very least it affects our relationship in that a significant portion of my life can not be discussed with them. I have learned that its important to try to maintain a relationship with my parents. I visit and talk to them on the phone. But their views do affect our relationship as I imagine my views affect how they act towards me.
August 13, 2009 3:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
It's a strange digression.
I have the good fortune of having the opposite to report. My father a republican my whole life... We had a screaming match like two lions fighting out in front of our home when I chose to volunteer for the democrats during high school. He considered it treason and an embarrassment.
Even just a few years ago he came to visit and started spouting some junk from O'Reilly and I recall just responding that I am not a christian and I completely disagree with what he was stating and that might be best if we end the conversation.
I found it necessary to have boundaries without disrespecting him.
But to my shock and surprise I had not even known that his political views had shifted until after President Obama won the election.
He said,'guess where I was the night of the election?' 'I was DJing the victory party for Barack Obama in Lake County Indiana.' Wow!
I can't help but wonder what caused the shift for your father. For mine it was new friends that helped him to expand his views including gay friends that have supported him and helped him tremendously in his life. Men he would have been abusive and bigoted toward in the past.
I hate to think that you father became so disillusioned that he would find any comfort in listening to the likes of O'Reilly. No less lovable but I understand the feeling of separation that the differences can bring.
August 13, 2009 2:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
Fascinating take. Good story.
I have no advice about Dad...even I am not that forward.
August 13, 2009 3:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
He posted. It ain't "forward" to tell him he is wrong, and it isn't presumptuous either. It is just being honest. Take it or leave it. None of this is a populrity contest, DD.
August 13, 2009 11:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
You can't pick you relatives. Don't lose the love. Although I can completely relate to the lack of connection as a deep chasm, there are other places to cherish, and maybe speaking about the good times can help with that, but hey, I;m not there. My sympathies are with you both, because fathers and sons need each other.
August 13, 2009 3:51 AM | Reply | Permalink
This is somewhat off-topic, but in many cases folks are better off without trying to maintain difficult relationships. There is nothing magical about family relationships, and the intensity can exist with "found" friends just as well.
August 13, 2009 4:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
Don't underestimate the impact of the sources of your Father's information. If your source of data is corrupt you can be completely logical and produce ridiculous output. If all you know is what they tell you and you apply your normal instincts based on that information the output will be bizarre. What WOULD you do if you were told that the government was going to kill Grandma?
That may be the problem rather than his age.
He needs deprogramming: If possible take him on a two week vacation and limit his access to those idiots and see what happens.
As I recall as you get older it is more difficult to recall the source of information and thus more difficult to adjust for variations in the reliability of information.
Send him a subscription to a reasonable magazine that he is apt to read.
If you continue to suspect a change in how he thinks rather than simply a change in the data he is using, have his Vitamin B12 levels checked -- these often drop as people get older and impact thinking.
See if you can get him to watch Colbert.
Good Luck.
August 13, 2009 7:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
. . . my father was the local director of an ecumenical church program . . . [which invited] . . . underprivileged, mostly afro-american children out of Chicago to stay in more affluent, suburban homes for a couple of weeks. PaulC37943
Liberals are voters who believe that the government has a substantial role to play in alleviating inequalities of outcomes in society.
Your father may have been liberal (who's to know?), but the anecdote provides no evidence that he was.
August 13, 2009 8:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
That's an interesting observation, Ellen. Conservatives are often known for extending a helping hand -- on their own terms.
August 13, 2009 9:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nice post! I share a similar circumstance. I just keep telling myself, maybe my purpose is to carryout the ideals that I always thought I saw in my father! Most of what I know, I learned from him!
August 13, 2009 9:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
I've seen the same thing in my depression-era, Roosevelt Democrats in-laws, although not as extreme, thank the Lord.
Once they got a flat screen, and cable, it was all over. Remember, these good folks are watching cable new as if they were still watching Cronkite or Murrow. Also, the flat-screen is brighter and better focused than real life.
Now, they didn't become extreme wing-nuts, but there was an increasing confusion, a feeling of increased isolation as they compared their views with those implicit in the cable news shows, and an inappropriate paranoia.
I couldn't argue with them, after all, if I was right, why wasn't I on TV?
I'd have dioxin pumped straight into my water supply before I'd get cable. It's poison. And it works especially well on older folks.
When I become, or rather attain, my full grouchy senility and selfishness at least it'll be my own brain degenerating, not the influence of TV. Don't worry, I'm headed for senility and extinction just as fast as I can. If I don't die of a drug underdose first.
August 13, 2009 10:33 AM | Reply | Permalink