Zeus said "Obama is Hitler."

I said, "Please don't make that comparison, Zeus."

"That's how I feel about it, I have the right to feel that way, besides when I said you will be the one that turns me in to them, I was just kidding.  Didn't you hear me laugh?" said Zeus.

"It's offensive to compare anyone to Hitler.  I don't care how you feel about it. Please don't do it around me, besides it makes you sound crazy." I said. "... And by the way I don't like being compared with the members of the S.S."

"Well I was just kidding, but Obama is taking everything over, just like Hitler did. And now you will probably turn me in for saying that" said Zeus.

I said, "Please stop referring to President Obama as Hitler, Zeus, and never compare me to a member of the S.S. It is not funny and it's not true."

"Well when I'm 65 and they come to take me away and you sign the papers ... I despise Barbara Boxer too.  All of them.  They are taking over. You are a dreamer and it is so sad to see how they have lied to you. You have a good heart, but when they take me away to kill me, you are the one who will sign the papers." Said Zeus.

"Zues, I'm happy to have this conversation with you. I love you.  I will never turn you in." I said. "There's only a couple of things I ask. First let's be rational when we discuss this. Okay? Alright, you're like four thousand years old already but that's beside the point, which is that at 65 you were eligible for Medicare, (which is already run by the government who, by the way, is really good at protecting us from our enemies, criminals, fires, and many other things already) and that will remain unchanged.  Medicare itself will remain unchanged, Zeus. Next if we are gonna discuss this issue in the future, I want you to actually read the proposals out there-"

"I ALREADY READ OBAMA'S PROPOSAL!" Zeus screamed.  "HE IS TRYING TO KILL ME AND LET IRAN ATTACK US!"

"Huh?" I asked. "Hey Zeus, I know that we have different philosophies. That's cool. I know that you will support actual humane medical care and health insurance for everyone that is in this country, citizen or not, because that is the right thing to do, right? To protect your own children, especially the ones you had with human women, you shoud make sure that the poorest people are healthy, right? Cool. So don't get defensive when I say that I don't believe that you have actually read any of the proposals out there. That you are actually just repeating the lies of industry lobbyists who are fleecing America right under your nose, and that if you informed yourself we could actually have a sane discussion about this ..."

"I have read Obama's proposal, well parts of it and it is evil and corrupt like Chicago. But there are parts of the Republican proposal that I like."

"Um. Okay you just proved that you haven't read any of the proposals out there, because Obama has not put forth any proposal yet-"

"He's not smart enough to come up with his own proposal." Zues said, interrupting me again.

"Please stop interupting me. I let you talk."

"Okay," said Zeus.

"Okay you proved that you are just repeating things you've heard. Things that are being said by liars who work for two industries that are interested in scaring you into keeping things just the way they are. Neither President Obama's Administration, nor the Republicans in Congress have put forth a proposal, so when you say you read them it's clear to me that you're making that up because even you, Zeus, can't read something that isn't there. It's cool, I've made stuff up before plenty of times to support my argument.  But not this time Zeus. It's too damn important for us all."

"I would sign on to this so-called "public option" if every member of Congress, the Supreme Court Justices, and the President and all their families signed onto it too. Hah. They will never go for that so as long as that is part of the plan, then I support it! Hah! Got You!" Said Zeus.

"I hope that you would also still support their right to accent their care with a private plan should they so choose." I said.

He paused a good while, then said "I would have to consider it once I've seen the details, but if it's good enough for a sewage worker then it should be good enough for the President."

"Do you support the right of the sewage worker to augment or choose between a public and private plan."

"No. . . " He said. "Yes." He paused. "I don't know. But I am never buying a GM car again.  I do know that!"

I sighed and said, "Alright, Zeus, we should stop here for now. At least you stopped calling me a member of the S.S., and stopped comparing President Obama to Hitler, one of the most tragic, cruel and insane men in history."

"He's not done yet," said Zeus.

Dear NBC/Universal corp.,

I admit I am an MSNBCaholic.  I am powerless over MSNBC.  It became a seemingly harmless habit when I made the transition into unemployment.  You know, at first it was very casual, harmless ... fun, even.  Just a little Morning Joe... That was just the gateway program, though (I quickly outgrew the weak content and analysis level of the candy apple former Congressman).  I was ready for the bigger scores of 'It's the Economy', which just became a bridge into the harder commentary of Schulz & Maddow.

I don't even remember the day that I switched to Olbermann.  Though I had flirted with the lighter and less addictive sports reporting form the days before his commentary had been refined and made far stronger ...

It kinda sneaks up on you, you know?  I wouldn't have even realized how addicted I was.  Thank god Michael Jackson died. 

I might never have known how addicted I was if he hadn't sacrificed himself to show me my sins. 

The days are getting a little better as my body starts to accept the CNN replacement therapy.

Thank you, GE,  for switching to all Michael Jackson coverage, otherwise I might have wasted my life staring into the gourd of MSNBCtv ...

Opening Scene: A small village with an open market.  Capitalism is on the march.  The voices of the assembled, both villager and vendor, rise and fall on the crisp morning air.  Occasionally one voice will rise above the others as a farmer cries out the crispness of her apples, or a child squeals with delight upon seeing his favorite treat at the bakers stall, or a man delivers a 'punch line' to his mate:

Man at pork belly stall: "... that's not what she said! Ahem. Get it? That's not what she said... get it?"

And then the chorus rises again drowning out the calls of the spring birds, the children's laughter, and even the jingling of coins in all the pockets and purses, bras, boustier's, wallets and shoes, even.

Somewhere deep in the forest, though, there is a villain plotting.  Linky Von Shrubb is mostly normal, but for all the bad things he has done already, and those he plots still to do. 

Linky is an aristocrat by birth, but not by nature. Even though his family has everything a young man could want, Linky doesn't like it one bit. He suffered through his lessons as a child, hating his great grandfather, grandfather, and father all,  for having been glorious battlefield heroes; and he chafed at the thought of learning art, trade or industry.  Linky wanted to study war, even though he always was afraid of the sight of blood (especially his own).

Linky does not like level battlefields, though, where many people could be heroes.  He wanted to be the winner, and he wanted everybody else to be the loser.  And most important of all he wanted everybody to know those two things: A. that he was the number one, first winner and 2. that they were all the dumb, last losers.

So, with these cherished beliefs in his heart he gathered together the worst gang of miscreants, lackwits, ne'er-do-wells, malcontents, lay bouts, rowdies, punks, white-collars, and ingrates that money could buy.

Linky: "Ok. You guys. You see all those people at the village market? Buying, selling, and trading?"

Henchmen:  "We see them."

Linky: "Do you hear their purses jingling?"

Henchmen:  "We hear them."

Linky: "Don't you want your purses to jingle like that?"

Henchman #1: "Well thanks to your generous no bid contracts, Linky. Our purses are heavier and jingle more loudly even than those town guards over there."

Linky (outraged): "That's Lord Linky to you. But if we take all their monies and put them in our purses then we will be the first winners and they will be the last dumb losers."

Henchman #1: "Ahh. I see. Then that cute wench with the freckles and the lazy eye will finally like me if I'm the first winner ...?"

Linky (nodding, but narrowing his eyes): "Exactly."

Henchman # 2: "... And I can make that town smithy stop wasting time making farm tools and horseshoes so he can build me an armored mercenary carriage and a remote drone assassin?"

Linky (visibly excited): "Exactly and we can call it Ye Olde Hummer, and collateral damage ... and eventually we can rule the world, and destroy it even, with our misguided concepts!"

Henchman # 2: "... And then we can start plotting against each other till there is only one of us?"

Linky (frothing in a frenzy): "Yes! Yes! Yes!" (Stabs henchman #2 in the stomach).

Henchman #2 (dying): "I ... can't ... wai ... wait! Ahhhg!"

Linky (wiping blood and guts off on Henchman #2):  "Okay guys gather round. Here's the plan:  We capture their agencies and dismantle their safety systems.  Their open market system? Anyone?"

Henchmen (uncertain): "Dismantle it...?"

Linky (frustrated): "... Yes, and replace it with an ...?"

Henchmen #1 (looking confused):  "... army?"

Linky (getting madder): "No."

Henchman #3: "Private schools?"

Henchman #4: "A faith based initiative?

Linky (red-faced): "No. No. No. Shut, and listen, up! We replace their open market with an unregulated, feral, dark legalistic nightmare of a marketplace where anything goes ... but specifically where their money goes to me, or sometimes to you guys too, erm ... hehe. But then we can kick them out of their houses and take over their shops and eat their grandmothers cookies ... my grandmother never made me any cookies... and woo-hoo we can fire the catapults and be heroes of history like all those historical heroes!"

Henchman #1 (looking at Linky like he's a little crazy):  "Ahh... we got you, boss, err Lord Linky."

Linky (crying over the body of henchman #2):  "Are you with me, guys?" (Linky looks up from the dead body at the other henchmen)  'cuz if ya' ain't ... then I guess that means your against me."

Henchmen:  "We're with you!"

End of Part I

(In part II Linky has his 'white-collars' figure out how to burn down the market place and then they manipulate the townspeople into paying them guaranteed bonuses in exchange for not starting the fire.  And how the people pay the bonuses to distract the thugs, while secretly building a new market with better regulations that will take a long time for the 'white-collars' to 'loophole' again.)