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Haiku Advice for Republicans
It's been a while since we had a good poetry thread and goodness knows the Republicans need some advice (and some eloquence). I'll get it started:
Jindahl stay at home
Your state needs the money bad
And you suck on TV
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Palin and Jindal
make a twosome but what will
they do for us next
February 25, 2009 10:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sarah and Bobby
Represent the G.O.P.
Most disastrously
February 26, 2009 2:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
I can't resist more...
John Boehner is tan
But he is not all that bright
Tan inside, Johnny
Volcano research
Is not that bad unless you
Are Doctor Evil
February 25, 2009 10:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
I can't breathe
=D
February 25, 2009 10:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Boehner sat big-time
and stretched his legs far out too
but his arms were crossed
February 25, 2009 10:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Republicans think
they can throw up their bile and
somehow it will stick
February 25, 2009 10:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
I feel a little queasy
(CLINK!)
February 25, 2009 10:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Only a little queasy? You need to drink more, Chicken.
(CLINK!)
February 25, 2009 10:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
I haz cheap red wine
I dunno
it might be a bad thing
February 25, 2009 11:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Um, no I wasn't trying to make a Haiku
I'm kinda hopeless that way
February 25, 2009 11:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey Rush, you asshat
If you put your country first
You should quit your job
February 25, 2009 10:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Position for grabs
Must enjoy the camera
Diverseness a plus
February 25, 2009 10:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
To RNC chair
Bling is important to youth
But they like jobs more
February 25, 2009 10:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bush was bad enough
but giving us Govs without
a clue is much worse
February 25, 2009 10:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
okay my bad cuz
Bush WAS a governor once
but still, he had Pops
February 25, 2009 10:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
When I say the words
"Fundamental Difference"
I mean D.N.A.
February 25, 2009 10:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Chickens and toads are
Amusing yet commonplace
we will rule the world
February 25, 2009 10:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nature's best friends are
Amphibians and chickens
Dont quote me on that
February 25, 2009 10:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
With props to Boyd Reed
Boys, it's not your messengers
It is your message
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/eastside93/2009/02/the-steele-plan-gop-unit.php
February 25, 2009 10:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
How can I not add my $0.02 of haiku stimulus after that? :-)
Republicans float
Propelled by Oxycontin
Into oblivion
February 26, 2009 2:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
hahahahahahaha!
February 26, 2009 2:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Poor Michele Bachmann
Minnesota Loon: state bird
and apt description
February 25, 2009 10:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
ROFLMAO
You are really good at this
=D
February 25, 2009 10:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think this one's the best!
February 26, 2009 10:21 AM | Reply | Permalink
Republicans want
to seem so diverse, yet they
give us the same old
February 25, 2009 10:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Poor Laura Bush, she
married an asshole and now
she is stuck with him
February 25, 2009 10:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
At least in days past
Conservatives were trying
Boy I miss Bob Dole
February 25, 2009 10:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
In this sad winter,
Hope arrives with solemn words,
But some do not hear.
February 25, 2009 10:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great. Tom has to go all profound and make the rest of us look bad.
February 25, 2009 10:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Beautiful, Tom.
February 25, 2009 10:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
all those who hurting
want to use tar and feathers
bwak has feather deal
February 25, 2009 10:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
I will gladly pay
you for a feather today
for a peck from you
February 25, 2009 10:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
{{{{{{smootch}}}}}}}}}
Dang. I blew the haiku.
O, please post the rulez
February 25, 2009 10:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
It rains in the west
A lion roars in congress
A mouse squeaks from the south
February 25, 2009 10:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ooh, good one!
February 25, 2009 10:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
TALENT!
yez!
February 25, 2009 10:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dear Eric Cantor,
If you don't stop smiling, your
Face will stick like that
February 25, 2009 10:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
Page boys get paged and
want to smile while gritting teeth
"Hell, another job"
February 25, 2009 10:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Never saw that coming!!!
February 26, 2009 12:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thunder in the passing deluge of tears
Commoners dance
Gods asunder whence
February 25, 2009 10:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Very nice, Zeno. But not exactly haiku. In response to Bwak's request above haiku is:
5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables
February 25, 2009 10:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mention of a season is traditional, too.
February 25, 2009 11:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Would that include the silly season?
February 25, 2009 11:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh Sarah Palin
Will you come back to us soon?
I have no anger
February 25, 2009 10:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
In need of leaders
Republicans are failing
Where is Mark Foley?
February 25, 2009 10:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
McCain did stand up
when Obama talked Iraq
but what could he do?
February 25, 2009 10:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
If you feel left out
Olympia and Susan
It's a sign to switch
February 25, 2009 10:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
Palin and Jindal
scare the crap out of poor me
find some one new please
February 25, 2009 10:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
There is nothing to fear
They lead only the foolish
Bush is in Texas
February 26, 2009 12:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
My tip for them all
Time to leave that dark closet
And head for the light
February 25, 2009 10:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Republicans don't
have answers but have lot of
weird new faces
February 25, 2009 10:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Agreed!
February 25, 2009 11:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wow, I totally screwed that one up, didn't I?
Well, what can you expect? I finally had my PC fixed after four days and I'm just so freakin' happy to be back.
February 25, 2009 11:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
You have no new thoughts
so please stop your vile speaking
lest you seem stupid
February 25, 2009 10:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Still, that ship has sailed
They don't care about stupid
They think we all are
February 25, 2009 11:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
We have Obama
You are upset beyond words
All you have? Jindal
February 25, 2009 11:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ok, how's this?
you suck, we do not
stick that in your empty pipe
and smoke it big time
February 25, 2009 11:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Stilli, we have been a bad, bad influence on you.
February 25, 2009 11:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
(But I love it.)
February 25, 2009 11:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
May we be a bad
Influence on more right here
TPMers Rule!
February 26, 2009 10:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Leaf buds yet emerge
Ground is sown with green
Justice in cold waits
February 25, 2009 11:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
I may not be good
but I am quite prolific
help I can not stop
February 25, 2009 11:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
I will not stop you
For you are Stilli the great
Debunker of lies
February 25, 2009 11:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you very much
Chicken you have lots of heart
dearest friend of mine
February 25, 2009 11:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
you repubs twitter
you have nothing left to do
go home we have this
February 25, 2009 11:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Rightwingers, waddle
To the cliff - please don't dawdle!
Whigs are your models.
February 26, 2009 2:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
You've gotta stop, I didn't bring any depends!
February 26, 2009 2:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Last piece of advice,
Try some honesty. Really.
America wants
February 25, 2009 11:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mercenary's ending
Fruit waits in the blossom's gift
Right of Spring begins
February 25, 2009 11:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Reagan legacy:
permanent majority?
Democratic spring!
February 25, 2009 11:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Compactness winner. 17 syllables with four words, including seasonal ref.
February 25, 2009 11:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
Uh, I count six words. :-)
February 25, 2009 11:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Four words and two proper names? ;-)
February 25, 2009 11:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oops.
February 25, 2009 11:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bravo!
February 25, 2009 11:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
I like haikus too.
But I must ask a question -
Diphthongs: one or two?
February 25, 2009 11:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Diphthongs go both ways
Like Ted Haggard on good days
They can be either
February 25, 2009 11:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bravo right back atcha!
February 25, 2009 11:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
bold and articulate,
O soared, while enemies flummoxed,
they squirm and twitter.
dear madam speaker,
The state of the union speech,
requires less caffeine.
joe the enforcer,
he smiles at being so named,
irony or truth?
jindal he mumbles
not an auspicious debut
'oh god' matthews shouts
February 25, 2009 11:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oops ... two many syllables in that second one.
do-over:
dear madam speaker,
the state of the union speech
demands less caffeine
February 25, 2009 11:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Next year maybe the
State of the Union heroes
will be you and me
February 25, 2009 11:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
Color wheel spinning stops
Crystal paths converge ending
Angelic choir calls Spring
February 25, 2009 11:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
GUNS AND THE RNC
If I had a gun
I would join the NRA
And I would have fun
I would have the fun
Getting foes in a row
Shootin' everyone
There's nothin around
In this whole wide world I like
More than my new gun
But I was incensed
When they arrested me at once
For havin' no license
So I wrote inside
A note to the NRA
To get me outside
Nothing we can do
To help you out of this thing
We can't even sue
So what they told me
Was if you can find no one
Try the RNC
WHAT!!!!
February 25, 2009 11:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Guns and alcohol
Convenience store features
in Redneck Heaven
February 25, 2009 11:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
You got that right. That is where the votes are.
By the way, while I am here, Bless me Father for I have sinned. I would rather not get into specifics.
February 26, 2009 12:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nombre de patre, de matre, e de little bambino - bless you, my son, for you have sneezed.
February 26, 2009 12:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
Oh, and if it had anything to do with crystal meth and male prostitutes, you're gonna hafta find another denomination...
February 26, 2009 12:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
Now that is the best
blessing I have come across
here or anywhere!
February 26, 2009 10:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
Praise for Lincoln
State awoke from long winter
Deliverance wanton
February 25, 2009 11:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Itty bitty Japanese poems
Are too high class for me.
I like my powms writ big and large
As you will plainly see.
But, I'm in no mood to go to war
I say, let's call a truce.
You may feed your soul on small haikus
While I feast on Dr. Seuss.
But, I'll try one on for size...
Fat Tuesday reeks of
Gubernatorial barf
In late Winter's speech
February 26, 2009 12:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
Whoa, dude - major zen points for "Gubernatorial barf"! Awesome!
February 26, 2009 12:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
That's tellin em. You go girl. Poetry cannot be canned like spam.
February 26, 2009 12:14 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ok, best yet! Bar none!
February 26, 2009 10:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
Jindal-ing-a-ling!!!
You ring the victory bell!
Jindal-ing-a-ling!!!
February 26, 2009 1:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Standing ovations
from both sides of the chamber -
nation reconciled
February 26, 2009 12:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Haikus are great fun,
but my reading assignment
is Dorian Gray.
February 26, 2009 12:15 AM | Reply | Permalink
God, how I love this place!
February 26, 2009 12:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
Barack Obama
Explains what needs to be
Quite clearly to me
February 26, 2009 12:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
oops.
Explains what needs to be done ...
February 26, 2009 12:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
The snow melts, and spring
Brings the change we knew would come
You matter no more.
February 26, 2009 2:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Jindal speaks to us
We see his future chances
Melt like the last snow.
February 26, 2009 2:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
There is a flower
It is striving to unfurl
Once red becomes blue.
February 26, 2009 2:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
eight year winter ends:
dead bush becomes right-wing's spring
torture masque party
February 26, 2009 6:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
Morning coffee, cool;
brain jump-started by the jolt
of Haiku caffeine.
Morning Joe -- a fool;
brain dead ass, a braying dolt,
a snake, his mien mean.
Poppycock, his drool;
sane response to run, to bolt;
To smart friends, unseen.
February 26, 2009 8:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Tour de force, ww
I can hardly say a thing
that would outdo that!
February 26, 2009 12:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
poetry in cans
industrial strength haiku
hallmark of the age
February 26, 2009 8:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
GOP flummoxed
Winter of their discontent
Has become Ice Age
February 26, 2009 9:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
Jindal should have known
Mardi Gras drinks AFTER speech
At least he got beads!
February 26, 2009 9:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
LMAO!
February 26, 2009 1:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
Today Kristol says
To obstruct, confuse, delay
He is so funny
February 26, 2009 11:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
franken on the cusp
cherry blossoms arrive
to show him the way
February 26, 2009 12:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Republicans, Hear!
You'll end up where you're headed
If you don't change course.
February 26, 2009 12:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Orlando you babe
giving life to the smart left
one hundred plus posts!
February 26, 2009 1:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
bravo, bravo, all!
(just syllabilistic'ly
adequate applause)
:0)
February 26, 2009 1:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, O!!!!! That was fun!
February 26, 2009 1:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
swinton avatar
looking us right in the eye
orlando, too cool
(Help! I can't stop haiku-ing!)
February 26, 2009 1:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Justice advances
"Sneaking.... on little cat feet."
Cheney/Bush; beware.
Addington, Rumsfeld,
Wolfowitz, and, too, Yoo;
Run. Hide -- if you dare.
Gitmo, AbuGhraib,
Rendition, your edition
of sins now laid bare.
Justice awaits you,
the jury selected from
the millions who care.
February 26, 2009 1:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Beautiful verses
From a deft and dear worthsmith
grace TPM threads
February 26, 2009 2:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
well.... a brand new term!
worthsmith... meant wordsmith, but hey
fingers got their way!
February 26, 2009 2:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Worthsmith or wordsmith--
TheraP, thanks -- an honor
to write in your ranks.
February 26, 2009 2:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Pour moi - aussi!
February 27, 2009 10:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
TPM haiku
Brain reels with ideas now
can't stop reading this
February 26, 2009 2:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
CPAC, Sarah, Rush
your time is getting short so
STFU now
February 26, 2009 2:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
brain fried, speak in rhyme
or patter in patterns
this is so cool, yeah!
February 26, 2009 2:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
zeno is my hero
deep thoughts in deep haiku
can't compare, but so?
orlando, et al
you speak so eloquently
big minds love ideas
February 26, 2009 2:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Welcome to TPM, writergal.
February 26, 2009 2:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Flattery will get you everywhere with me....:o)
February 26, 2009 4:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Those caskets unseen
Our children's bodies hidden
Now see what war costs...
February 26, 2009 3:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
lol bush - lol cheney:
dey kant haz it, teh torture
it i don't want it
February 26, 2009 3:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Stupendous!
February 27, 2009 10:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hey O, you will absolutely love this:
http://web.mit.edu/jync/www/spam/archive.html
To Spam they penned verses
Profound and absurd
Exploring meat's mystery...
February 26, 2009 4:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Crap!
Haiku has meter
Instructions they were given
Not followed by me
February 26, 2009 4:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
OH MY GOD!
Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam
Endless haikus about Spam
Stay far, far away
February 26, 2009 4:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is it a lunchmeat?
Or is it Internet noise?
Spam is versatile!
February 26, 2009 6:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
The garden is brown
Leaves and frost hide the new growth
The Sun marches north
February 26, 2009 6:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Naked breast laid bare
The sword of justice in hand
Heavy winter's end
February 26, 2009 7:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Master's jewels worn
The Mayfly in summer's heat
Cracks in its dream's keep
February 26, 2009 8:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
chug oil, burp sound bytes
play the CPAC serenade
spawn knuckledraggers
February 26, 2009 8:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Late as usual
miguelito laughs in spring
with literati.
We once had power
but so abus-ed our gain
no one honors us.
To maintain control
of the oil rich provences
Betray trust and lose.
The use of season
in haikus about repubs
eludes porcine ones .
February 26, 2009 10:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
Curly tail again
We did look and look for you
And at last our friend!!!
February 26, 2009 10:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Peegalito is
Never late he arrives when
he means to arrive
February 26, 2009 10:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Like one hand snapping
the chicken hears more than pig
and keeps the beat too.
February 26, 2009 10:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
I missed all the fun
No computer in the car
Winter weekend trip
You all rock!
February 27, 2009 9:55 AM | Reply | Permalink