Earth to Roland Burris: RIP THE %*$&*# BANDAID OFF!
Turns out, even I underestimated the stupidity of Roland Burris, a feat, I assure you, that is as difficult as it is unexpected.
Here's the deal, Roland: if you promised to raise money for the governor while you actively lobbied to be appointed to a senate seat that the governor had put up for sale, YOU ARE NOT INNOCENT. It doesn't matter that you're a crap fundraiser or that money for Blago dried up as it became abundantly clear that he was unhinged. And it is not helping you, your party, your state, or your president to keep revealing the details in pieces parts.
Roland Burris, United States Senator, is acting like at 16 year old that wrecks his dad's sports car driving home on Saturday night when he was supposed to be home grounded. On Saturday night, he says that he had to go out because a friend was suicidal. He had no choice. On Sunday morning, he mentions that the friend said to meet him to this other friend's house, but he didn't know the other friend and he didn't know what to expect when he got there, but there were some people just hanging out. Monday, he adds that the friend of the friend and the people hanging out at his house were drinking beer but that he absolutely positively did not drink a beer because he would never do that. Tuesday, he says he only just remember that he might have had one beer. Wednesday, he mentions the girl that was in the car and he really wanted to impress her and she really wanted to drive. On Thursday, he finally tells you that the girl was wasted out of her mind and also not licensed and that when she crashed, she immediately got out of their with some other friends who were driving right behind them. On Saturday night, the parents were so relieved their son was safe that it was his best opening to tell the truth. By the following Friday, they have been led through such increasing levels of outrage and frustration that they are ready to kill him themselves.
I'm revising my opinion that we're stuck with him (that I posted at Dagblog over the weekend). He's digging his own grave. Oh, wait. That's already been dug.
What a clown. The best thing the Democrats can do is show his ass the door. The sooner, the better.
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Cross posted at Dagblog.com, where Articleman says layoffs are immient and Genghis plays with crayons.
Orlando, you were right on this one.
February 17, 2009 4:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Cold comfort, DD.
February 17, 2009 4:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Heehee, good crack about the grave already being dug!
This guy boggles my mind. Bad case of ego-induced obliviousness. He is Blago's revenge.
February 17, 2009 4:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
That's what I said. But you said it first, and better.
February 17, 2009 5:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Okay, I am going to revise and extend my defense of Burris. Total and complete asshat who may well have perjured himself based on unsuccessfully trying to raise money for Blago.
Illinoisean politicians seem to think they will never be found out. How Burris should have handled this: A press conference like the honorable Governor Paterson of New York before he took office. "I ran 2 stoplights in my youth, used cocaine, had an affair, my wife had an affair, I was an avid watcher of Walker, Texas Ranger, and I shot J.R."
Nothing Burris did initially was inappropriate - but by spitting out the truth one kernel at a time he makes it look realy bad for himself.
I hate saying I was wrong, so I'll just say you were right ;)
February 17, 2009 4:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Funny, I don't have much trouble saying I was right.
February 17, 2009 4:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Man, what a loser.
And who has the last laugh? Blago. As unhinged as he seemed, with the hair and the barricading himself in his office and total self-immolation, he succeeded in playing the entire Senate for fools (insert required riposte here).
Who needs all this? Do we not have enough problems?
February 17, 2009 5:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Are there any honest democrat politicians in Illinois?
February 17, 2009 5:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Really stands out when you see a slimy Democrat, doesn't it (and Burris seems to definitely be one)? I mean, to find a respectable republican you have to go beyond three standard deviations, and then look at the logarithmic chart.
Oh! And it's DemocratIC politicians. Do you have no comprehension of adjectives?
February 17, 2009 7:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
No, Burris doesn't stand out at all when compared to that parade of tax frauds we were treated to during the confirmation processes.
February 17, 2009 8:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Interesting question, Spriche. Perhaps George and Jack Ryan could shed some light on the matter...
February 17, 2009 7:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
The law of large numbers gives you a better chance of finding an honest Democrat in Illinois than an honest Republican.
Weller, Hastert, George Ryan ... hmmm. So few to Repubs to pick from, and just about everyone's got his hand in someone's pocket.
February 17, 2009 8:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Let's not forget Jack Ryan...
Of course, the thing about the political corruption in Illinois is that it's about the only thing that's bipartisan in the state.
February 18, 2009 3:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Can't wait to see what gets secretly chiseled on that ... er... monument?
We need a pool. What would you chisel on burris' monument (if you could)?
February 17, 2009 6:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Was it worth it?"
February 17, 2009 7:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
How about this:
IF I REALLY, HONESTLY, AND TRULY BELIEVED IN HEAVEN AND HELL I WOULDN'T HAVE PULLED ALL THE SHIT THAT I DID!
February 17, 2009 7:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Too big to jail?
February 17, 2009 9:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have to say, I didn't agree that he should have been seated, at least without a court compelling it.
I don't think the current revelations make the Dems look bad, as both the State and U.S. Dem Senators were pretty much unanimously opposed to him being seated.
And if I recall correctly, wasn't the Repub talking point at the time: "Seat Roland Burris, Now!!"
February 17, 2009 8:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Right. Burris got seated, and Franken is cooling his heels in Minnesota. Is our electoral system and in fact the whole country corrupt, or what?
February 17, 2009 8:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Only a few weeks into to it and this administration appears to be the all time sleaziest even with their apologists in the media working overtime.
February 17, 2009 8:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Burris isn't in "this administration."
You'd be a lot more interesting if you hired a fact checker.
February 17, 2009 8:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Or maybe put down the crack pipe.
February 17, 2009 8:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
You just can't tell the truth incrementally and expect to get away with it.
Though over the last eight years, lying incrementally has seen quite a bit of success.
February 17, 2009 11:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
What I don't get is why Burris is mismanaging his situation so horribly.
He could've owned up to all of this at the impeachment hearings, and STILL be the legally seated Senator, without an ethics investigation or perjury charges looming over the horizon.
It saddens me personally, because a lot of us in my hometown who talked about politics looked up to Burris as an example of how to rise in government. Somewhere, over the last 16 years or so, this guy has gone completely off the rails.
His running a racially charged campaign against Richard the Second was where I got off the Burris train. But I'd held out some hope that he'd get a clue again, until now.
I still don't think the ethics investigation is going to go much of anywhere. But, the good news is that Burris's last day will be no later than 1/6/2010.
February 18, 2009 2:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
1/6/2011, even...
February 18, 2009 2:24 PM | Reply | Permalink