*$%($&%^*$
Joe the plumber says:
Get out there and vote; it's very important...You get out here and get the American people back in charge of our government. Hold politicians' feet to the fire when they mess up. That's what we're out here to do. All right? Smaller government, you know? As far as everyone else here, well, that's the question and go ask them to vote for a real American, John McCain.
You know what, Joe? Go to hell.
I am a real American and I am voting for Barack Obama.
I am a real American who was born smack dab in the middle of the heartland. I've lived in small towns and big cities. Since I was 17 years old, I've held a job, sometimes two. I worked hard to finish college. I worked hard to advance a career. I am still working hard to realize a dream. My parents worked hard too, for their whole lives. Then, they spent all of their money, including all of the money that they saved for retirement, because my mom got sick, couldn't work any more, and lost her health insurance. Then, my dad, who loved my mom like you wouldn't believe--who didn't work for five years so that my mom could have constant care at home--had to divorce her so the nursing home wouldn't take so much money out of his paycheck that he couldn't afford rent and food. Now, less than 10 years away from retirement age, he is starting over.
I am a real American. I believe that everyone who lives in this country should have the same opportunity for advancement. I believe all children have the right to education free from the dangers of guns and drugs. I believe that unions are the backbone of fairness for workers, and deserve a chance to be strong again. I believe that people should not be judged on their names or their ethnic backgrounds or their religions, but on the quality of their contribution to society. I believe in our right to disagree with one another about the direction we should take as a nation, and in our right to voice that disagreement through the right to vote. I believe that no one should kept from exercising this right through intimidation or fraud.
And I believe that people like Joe, who are certain that only their experience encapsulates the vast and beautiful diversity that drives our amazing country and defines what is real, should shut the hell up and pay their taxes.
I can't think of anything worthwhile to write about this "real American" crap. Makes me feel a little violent. I'm going to bookmark your post, though, and come up with some better ways to react, because I've got a feeling we're going to hear a lot more of it.
October 31, 2008 8:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, I wish I could think of a way to react that doesn't cause my blood pressure to shoot up and my language to go south in a hurry (not that it takes much to cause that).
Maybe I'll go watch the Will.i.Am. video again.
October 31, 2008 8:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
I was an Army brat, and have always been both patriotic (though not at all nationalist) and very engaged in the political processes.
Yet, while I've always had "boy scout moments" when I see something that makes me proud of my fellow citizens, it wasn't until this election that I began to feel a strong desire to fly the American flag.
If Senator Obama wins next Tuesday's election, I'm buying one on Wednesday.
October 31, 2008 5:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Good blog title.
This is not strictly related, but has anyone asked McCain why he took federal campaign finance money when he's against government handouts? And how he plans to cut taxes and pay for the Grand and Expensive Adventure in Mesopotamia?
October 31, 2008 8:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
Haha. Good joke.
On the serious side, I think somebody did ask him what color drapes he'd like if he makes it to the Oval Office and how many Joe's he'd anticipate appointing to his cabinet. You know, the important stuff.
October 31, 2008 8:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nice, O.
Joe the not plumber, who insults every real plumber that paid his dues, , apprenticed, and waited in line for his turn everytime his name is uttered is a typical Republican. He thinks he's better then others, and goes to the head of the line, why? Arrogance. He embodies everything bad about American character.
As such he embodies the mindset that brought this great county to it's knees.
Don't waste another thought on that ignorant schmuck. He's about as "real" America as a poorly maintained toilet bowl.
October 31, 2008 8:32 AM | Reply | Permalink
Found the antidote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJLcb1jcwKE
October 31, 2008 9:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
Too informative for TV.
October 31, 2008 9:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you!!! I missed this last night.
October 31, 2008 12:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Speechless.
October 31, 2008 9:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
Dijamo,
I am awash in a unanticipated gusher of tears. The good kind, in gratitude. For the slow clap that has become a crescendo when it occurs to us to be the best we can be. Thank you.
October 31, 2008 10:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Awesome, thanks!
October 31, 2008 11:39 AM | Reply | Permalink
thanks for that!
October 31, 2008 1:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Real Americans" are going to rise up and take back the White House in a few days, defeating the forces of darkness and evil.
Don't let your blood pressure explode now, you'll miss the celebration.
(We'll have them right where we want them: Out of office.)
October 31, 2008 10:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
Real Americans believe in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. And expect their leaders to do so as well.
My first priority, Joe, is the Constitution. The Rule of Law. (not selfishness)
It's "We the People" - not "we the few" for whom the Constitution was written.
October 31, 2008 10:18 AM | Reply | Permalink
Beatifully said, O. And I'm talking about the body of your post, not the title. ;)
October 31, 2008 10:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
#@%$ Joe the Plumber!!!
October 31, 2008 11:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
I heard that crap on the radio this morning and it made my blood boil. Who the funk is Joe the freaking Plumber to give an opinion about anything, other than unclogging a toilet? What great University did he submit his doctoral thesis to? What Wizard of Oz gave HIM a testimonial? What Think Tank did He come from? They can just drag any old scumbag out of the sewer and hand him the Conch of Authority and now he's the freaking Pope of the KnowNothing DimWits? What is with these people? Did they breed with tube worms? How do you grow up in America, the land of public libraries, and get to be so STUPID? The New Republican Motto:
"Stupid-Arrogant-Wrong Minded, and Proud of It!"
October 31, 2008 11:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
O, I'm so sorry sweetie...There are way too many stories like yours and they all make me sad. But for some reason when they apply to people you "know and care about" it hurts worse...
There are times when *&%(@#%^ is the only appropriate thing to say. This is one of them.
When are those poor, misguided people going to realize we are all real Americans?
October 31, 2008 11:43 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, still. I didn't explain my parents for sympathy. It sucks, but life is life. The point is that my parents have always voted democratic (which I neglected to mention) and they are REAL. And it enrages me that this ignorant putz thinks that he speaks for them or for me or for anybody but his own stupid ass.
October 31, 2008 11:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
I know...just wanted you to know...
October 31, 2008 4:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
I for one, have always suspected you of being a sleeper put here by Russia and now your're going to take over - prove that you're not.
October 31, 2008 11:43 AM | Reply | Permalink
Я являюсь американским.
October 31, 2008 12:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Only to those who are insufficiently vigilant!
October 31, 2008 1:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
товарищи - хлеб, земля, мир! и бурение!!
November 1, 2008 7:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
Joe the Plumber is his role model.
Sarah Palin is his choice for VP.
Enough said.
Healthy venting is advised and necessary.
I highly recommend using humor to vent!!
There's so much material here than you can spend weeks mocking these folks and their words and positions. Please vent and stay healthy.
As for the 'real' BS. Here's my vent idea from a recent blog:
Couldn't we just declare Alaska the 'Real' and 'Patriotic' America and let McCain/Palin et all have Alaska and allow them to secede from the union?
They could call it whatever they wanted to... The Most Real and Patriotic Country In the World, The Only Truly Patriotic And Real Country Ordained By God, The Holy Land of The Real and Patriotic... whatever they want as long as they promise to secede.
I feel better.
Yes I know unfair to Alaska... but it felt goog to imagine giving them their own country...
October 31, 2008 11:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
Maybe we could give Guam to the people who don't like the cold. We're not heartless, after all.
October 31, 2008 11:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
This is nothing new. These are the talking points from the GOP that Sam is now repeating. I suggest listening to Bill OReilly and Sean Hannity's radio shows if you get a chance every so often -- to find out what is being pumped to the right side.
These talking points have been in the air for about 6 weeks now on those shows. They are also claiming that Obama/Reid/Pelosi will shut down the "alternative media" (which FNC and these dogs are allegedly part of) if they get in office. The amount of out-and-out lying playing to the fears of people is truly astounding.
Sam will soon disappear in 4 days time. The problem is that these talking points will not.
October 31, 2008 11:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Out of context, I would have thought that these statements were made by an Obama supporter.
PS O, the impending election seems to be affecting your temperament. I sense anger, anxiety, mood swings. Pre-Election Syndrome?
PPS I like the feisty Orlando.
October 31, 2008 11:53 AM | Reply | Permalink
I've been suffering from pre-election syndrome for eight years. But it is true that lately the symptoms have intensified. I apparently react strongly to staggeringly bold dishonesty and blatant stupidity. Who knew?
October 31, 2008 12:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
I didn't know there was a non-feisty Orlando option. Guess we'll find out after November 5th, but I'm hoping not :)
October 31, 2008 12:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Real Americans. Ha.
Elections at some level are like law. The exercise of imperative force. Two arrows run into each other. One is displaced.
The winners of this election will be the more numerous real Americans who vote for Barack H. Obama, one of the most real Americans I have ever seen.
Joe the Plumber, Barack the President. And so it goes.
Great one, O.
October 31, 2008 12:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hulk Hogan?
I wasn't aware of any others.
October 31, 2008 12:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Okay found the words! Can a single post make a difference? Yes it can :)
I've supported Obama, raised funds for him, canvassed for him, phonebanked for him etc etc, but in the actual voting booth I had not made up my mind whether I would actually vote for him myself or write in Hillary as a statement of my support of her candidacy. My individual vote is meaningless since I'm a New Yorker and Obama's going to win the state by a large margin. But despite the differences, there is no question that Obama's vision for this country is so much more inclusive than the other side. And I am hoping that inclusiveness will extend to healing the rifts from the primary rather than sweeping them under the carpet and ensuring that all parts of our inclusive big tent party are respected and appreciated. So there you have it - you earned Obama one vote in the popular column.
And I'm glad Obama has you on his side talking to voters in Indy whose choice in the election booth on Tuesday will matter much more than my symbolic pull of the lever. You can sleep on November 5th - get out there and talk to every undecided voter you can :)
October 31, 2008 12:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
YAY! Of course your vote isn't meaningless. One vote at a time is how we are winning our country back.
I believe that not only will Obama move to heal the rifts within the party, but also within the country. Finally, we'll have a uniter in deed, instead of just word (granted, at least Bush pronounced it correctly).
I'm leaving work in just a few minutes and from this point on it's all about GOTV for me.
It's time to put this fucking thing to bed.
See y'all on Wednesday.
October 31, 2008 12:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
That's a fact, Jack. Individual votes, if you're in a state that's for sure going for Obama, aren't meaningless. Nor are they meaningless if you live in Nebraska or Utah.
Each vote will go to that final percentage count that +50% of Real Americans wanted Obama to be president.
October 31, 2008 3:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, Orlando. And Dijama, wow, your vote isn't meaningless. In fact, because it was such a heartfelt, difficult concession for you to give your vote to Obama, it makes it mean more, in a way, even than 1000 votes in Ohio.
October 31, 2008 3:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
I mean DijaMO. The big MO for healing rifts.
October 31, 2008 3:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
dij! Thanks for sharing that w/ us...makes me even MORE optimistic that we can win this!
October 31, 2008 4:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
What is a fake American? Never met one.
Barack Obama is a real American. We are all real Americans. In fact, I suggest that every one who lives in another country and dreams of coming to America and live here and work here and expends effort making a life for themselves here is also a REAL American.
October 31, 2008 12:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Some of us are 3/4 real; 1/4 fake . . .
October 31, 2008 12:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
What is a fake American?
One who gives encouragement to a political party whose biggest goal is to get Alaska to secede from the United States and then runs as a Vice Presidential Candidate, with a stump speech that excludes some Americans as not being "real."
That is a fake American.
October 31, 2008 1:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
In that case she is a really "fake" American but a real American, nevertheless. ;)
October 31, 2008 1:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
He's so real it's almost unreal!
October 31, 2008 1:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Okay so if McCain and Co. just found out about this Joe the Knucklehead Plumber and then made him the linchpin of their campaign in the closing days, doesn't that just show they didn't have much of a plan to begin with and are just making stuff up as they go along? Is this a rhetorical question? Who knows? Who cares? Find out next week!
October 31, 2008 12:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you.
October 31, 2008 12:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
I love the closing paragraph!
Why are we listening to Joe the Plumber?! This is ridiculous! This has got to be the most surreal campaign in history. McCain telling everyone they're Joe the Plumber, as if being ignorant was something to be proud of.
I too have been awash in the idiocy and hypocrisy of McCain supporters. I really haven't heard an intelligent argument from a supporter at all! It's all about fear and anti-Obama.
It'll all be over soon, but I can't shake the feeling that it's going to be stolen again. (Yes, Bush stole both elections. Is there any reasonable person who still doubts this?) It's up to all of us to get on everyone we know to vote, everywhere, even when in a guaranteed Obama state. Don't get lazy! A landslide is the only way to show people that the "real America" the GOP envisions doesn't exist.
October 31, 2008 2:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Aw, forget that Lowlife Lex Luthor Look-Alike. He's just some pinhead who inexplicably found himself on the TeeVee and will spout any amount of mindless nonsense to milk his 15 minutes of fame.
October 31, 2008 3:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
This post made my $$(&^&*# day.
October 31, 2008 4:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Good one.
Also, let me say I'm proud to be part of fake America.
October 31, 2008 7:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Greetings from Pennsylvania, gang. We're fighting here to take our country back, to restore her honor and be guided once again by the better angels of our nature. You fight too, OK? Hang in there. Knock on doors. Make calls. Three more days. Know hope.
October 31, 2008 9:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
The reason this blog is so damn helpful to get through the day is exemplified in this post.
I get home, tired, anxious and read the news. It's enough to drive me batshit crazy with outrage. And my blood pressure skyrockets, it gets hard to breathe, and I forget what's good about my own life, and just want to SCREAM!! That there are chickenshitlittleidiots out their who pollute this world so badly is insufferable.
And then, when I come here, it's beautiful. Somone has said exactly what I want to say, said it, often, way better than I could have, and my tension and outrage all magically subside.
Just the fact that I'm not the only sane person in the world, just seeing the proof that there are others who think like me, have my values and scream as loud as I want to scream, in a grown-up, civilized way :), is refreshing, restoring, and sanity-inducing.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
October 31, 2008 10:32 PM | Reply | Permalink