It's only a matter of time before video footage surfaces that clarifies the series of events culminating in the gustatory satiation of the would-be president, John McCain.  We institute a Fudge Commission to examine the details.  Otherwise the American public might never know the answer to these and other issues of resounding national importance.  There is substantial evidence that more than one kiosk was involved.  But it's clear that McCain should never have exposed himself in an open-air podium.