House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's got all the integrity of an appliance-repair contractor. "What's that, sir? No, no I did not say 'yes, I did." I am afraid you misunderstood what I said. What I actually said was, 'no.' It's an easy mistake to make."

The Democrats wimp out on gun control. Could we talk about defining issues please? There's only two - how to be a decent human being, and how to help your neighbor to do the same. There was a dude with a beard, sandals and well-developed Messiah complex who made a big to-do about exactly this a while back. I'm pretty sure he was against the stockpiling of weapons.

How did Karl Rove and Dick Cheney become mouthpieces for the Republican party? It's like the bull elephants in the coal mine: They're foul and mean, choking on their own toxic fumes, a product of the atmosphere they they, themselves, poisoned. The canaries got off easy.

DEMS about American streets:  "I see nut-nink". PUBS: "Waaaahh!!! (whine)" DEMS  in the U.N.: "I hear nut-nink!" PUBS: "pppssssssshhh!!!! (piss)" DEMS internationally:  "I say nut-nink!" PUBS: "Ooooohhhhhhhh (moan)".