The people who condemn homosexuality are those who think it is a choice. They think that by society condoning it, it will become an acceptable option for their children, and that scares the crap outta them, since their religion tells them it is wrong.

Why in the world someone would "choose" something that causes so much pain, is beyond me...

Wonderful post.

So endorse and support the sentiment and facts.

We need more reminders about the importance and yes, necessity of standing up and speaking out for all who continue to (despite being in direct contrast to constitunal rights) be unable to enjoy the rights that are to be inherent in our country.

One of my dearest friends is a gay male and I am so thankful he is in my life.

Thanks so much for posting this and for an extremely well written and thoughtful text.

(Note: My sister in law was adopted and found her biological parents by placing classified ad in area papers of her birth - it's an interesting story - I was the one who told her biological father, 'Congratulations, it's a 24 year old baby girl!'

I fervently believe we all have the right to know our genetic heritage and our birth parents.)

Strongly Rec'd.

I believe much of our conservative psyche has its roots in the religious zealots who helped found this country.

Reminds me of an op/ed in an Australian newspaper during the time of the Bill Clinton "Impeachment in search of an Impeachable Offense" wherein it was stated: "Thank God the U.S. got the Puritans and we got the convicts."

Fine post. But could someone give me a run-down of what this gay conspiracy is about? So they want to convince our children to become gay, and then when we're all converted... what...? We all have a gay party, forced to sing show tunes in drag?

I mean, I sort of get the socialist conspiracy, or the environmentalist conspiracy idea. But what is the wing-nut theory on the gay agenda? What is the damn agenda? Is there a well-established description of the homosexual dystopia they're trying to implement here (and that the wing-nuts heroically oppose)? Inquiring minds want to know...

I have a son (stepson, actually, although I have raised him as my son since he was @12 years old) who is gay. It was a struggle for him growing up. He wasn't athletic, so there was none of the High School football or basketball crowd to become involved with. To be truthful, sadly, there really isn't much of joy or good cheer to remember about his high school career.

He loves music. He and I shared an affinity for music, and it was this that helped form a bond between us that exists strongly to this day. Shortly after our introduction, I introduced him to competitive Drum Corps (maximum age of competitors is 21). He learned to play soprano trumpet, then auditioned for and joined the Madison Scouts, a uniquely all-male corps which at the time was consistently placed within the top 10 Drum Corps in world competition. He worked his tail off. Never complained about gruelling tour schedules and daily practices outdoors all summer long in whatever weather was presented. And he LOVED it.

With Drum Corps, he gained opportunity to tour Europe in 1988 - which was also the year they won the World Championships held in Kansas City. He was 18 years old at the time and would continue his involvement one more year before quitting to pursue a degree.

In Drum Corps, he was introduced to numerous other friends who happened to be gay. I believe it served to reinforce his self-esteem; helped him to understand that he was not an aberration as seemed to be the case in his high school experience. There were people just like him among his fellow competitors, and the camaraderie that is encouraged in this activity made certain he was accepted as part of a group of young men who cared not a whit what your sexual orientation might be. You were a Madison Scout, after all, and it's tradition is that "You Will Never Walk Alone".

Gene is a champion, but this "title" is not defined solely by his membership in an award-winning drum corps. Indeed, it is the way in which he conducts his day-to-day life that makes of him a person to be respected and admired. His list of friends is seemingly endless, and they love him for his loyalty and his humor and his profound kindness. He is successful in his career, but not consumed by it. God knows he'd rather be traveling throughout the world and be learning about new places and meeting new people instead.

And he's a fan of the Minnesota Vikings, showing that he still doesn't understand a goddammed thimg about REAL football.

Gene is my son who happens to be gay. I thank God for the happenstance of his discovering the Madison Scouts at a point in his life where he might otherwise have been corrupted by the hatred and the intolerance of a society that will sometimes call upon God, himself, to damn others who are different.

Yes, Norseman, it is about time we quit the hatred and the discrimination and the sanctimonious religious intolerance that continues to insist that we are somehow superior to men like Gene.

And it is high time we assure every human being who shares this wondrous gift of our existence that "They Will Never Walk Alone."

For some reason I'm always off to work too early and get home too late to bother corrupting the youth or undermining straight folks' marriages let alone taking over the government.

See, there's nothing to worry about.

Gay-haters simply refuse to acknowledge that everyone has a little gay in 'em. The Kinsey reports blew the lid off "strictly heterosexual" crapola. Especially when our sexuality is emerging in our sub-teens...we tend to be less discriminate about gender. Ask anyone who ever went to boarding school. If you are told it's a sin, then you hate yourself for those "homo feelings" and stuff them down soooo far that is necessary to protect yourself by demonstrating how actively you hate gays and lesbians. Look at how many of the christianist leaders ooze unresolved homosexuality. I will do my best not to list them...
Both our kids are adopted; our daughter grew up knowing her birth mother, who actually had abused her dramatically. Now that our daughter is an adult, she has tried to make more contact with her, but has discovered that she really doesn't care for her. We did always make the effort to get them together when the court would allow it, but it just didn't go that well. She does keep some contact with her siblings, though.
Our son's birth mother was deported just before the Amnesty in what--1985 or so? We have no way to find her. I did make some attempts through the military to find his borth father, though all that was permitted, once I told them where and when he was stationed, and his name, was that I write a letter to him, they would forward it. I made our son's case for him wanting to know him. We never received a reply.
From the reading I've done, adopted kids are split about 50-50 on the desire to connect with their birth parents. Good luck to you.

These are great stories. Great blog.

Religion and sexual repression are two powerful things that can be highly negative. Unlike sexual repression, however, religion can be very, very good. I think people often make the mistake of believing that religion and sexual repression are inseparable. I do not believe that is accurate at all.

We continue to see the negative effects of sexual repression all around us (whether puritan or otherwise) even though hundreds of years have passed since the very primitive beliefs of some puritans about sexuality were abroad in the land. It is useful to recall that the the repressed sexuality of some puritans, particulary some of the more prominent amongst them, was really no different than the repressed sexuality that dominted the landscape of life at that time. It would be almost impossible to separate the sexual mores of the day from any group of european christians during that time.

The puritans may have made more of a point of it,been more boisterous in their piety, etc. but the nature of their own repressed sexuality was very similar to that of all other mainstrream religious groups. Some continue to use religious sounding arguments to justify sexual repression and I suspect they always will. But in the end, we have made and continue to make tremendous strides toward less repressive beliefs about sexual mores and practices. In the long run it is that ongoing progress that means second class citizenship for gay people is not far off at all and that is a very hopeful and promising thing that leads us to a much healthier, saner, and decent society.

Nice post. It is time to get better. How exactly we as individuals and as a nation need to proceed is the question of the hour.

I would recommend everyone at least try to engage Judith Butler's work on this matter, specifically those she expresses in "Bodies that Matter." I believe she gets to the core of the problem about the depth of why people are threatened by homosexuality through her concept of the "zones of inhabitability."

I wouldn't dare to try and sum up her theoritical views here, but I would posit the performative view of not only gender but also sex empowers each of us in the struggle to overcome this "heterosexual imperative" in this country (as well as our role, willing or not, in its maintanence). We may not be able to do anything about being caught in the prisonhouse of lanaguage, but we can at least do something about how the walls are arranged. And, in doing so, how we come to view our world (and, thus, decide, which bodies matter).