Immigrants, Sacrifice, and a Brighter Future for our Kids.
For a variety of reasons, I've been thinking quite a bit lately about one of the guiding principles of good parenthood: the hope that our kids have a better life than we do. We all share this hope, don't we? It's only natural. But do we all feel it equally? More precisely, do we all make the same effort?
I don't think so.
Lately, I've had occasion to be around a few working-class foreigners here in Japan. Immigrating from the Philippines, China and elsewhere, they, like immigrants around the world, endure profound hardships. They don't speak the language; they following a strange religion; they look different; they have no family or close friends nearby, and they are often quite poor. Society looks down on them: they are the suspects of crime, depredation, and immorality. They suffer discrimination and ridicule at every turn.
But they endure these profound hardships because they know their kids will benefit by growing up in a country infinitely safer and more prosperous then their own.
Lately, I've begun looking at working-class immigrant families with a sense of awe. I wonder honestly if I have the same mettle. They endure so much and sacrifice so greatly to ensure their kids have a better future. What do I do? I read to my kids before they go to bed. I try to tell them creative stories and listen when they have something to say. I stash away a few dollars for their education. That's about it and it's nothing compared to the Herculean efforts of so many immigrants here in Japan, the US and around the world.
I wonder how different the world would be if we all made the same sacrifices; if we all put the same effort into our kids' futures as do so many working-class immigrants.
What do you think?
(As a side note, there's a new movie coming out about the plight of upper class parents in New York unable to get their kids into elite nursery schools due to crowding and high costs. There's a scene in the trailer where a woman who is all choked up says something like "they're my kids and I'd do anything for them..." Really? Would you do anything? How about quitting your job and taking care of your kids yourself?)
I don't think so.
Lately, I've had occasion to be around a few working-class foreigners here in Japan. Immigrating from the Philippines, China and elsewhere, they, like immigrants around the world, endure profound hardships. They don't speak the language; they following a strange religion; they look different; they have no family or close friends nearby, and they are often quite poor. Society looks down on them: they are the suspects of crime, depredation, and immorality. They suffer discrimination and ridicule at every turn.
But they endure these profound hardships because they know their kids will benefit by growing up in a country infinitely safer and more prosperous then their own.
Lately, I've begun looking at working-class immigrant families with a sense of awe. I wonder honestly if I have the same mettle. They endure so much and sacrifice so greatly to ensure their kids have a better future. What do I do? I read to my kids before they go to bed. I try to tell them creative stories and listen when they have something to say. I stash away a few dollars for their education. That's about it and it's nothing compared to the Herculean efforts of so many immigrants here in Japan, the US and around the world.
I wonder how different the world would be if we all made the same sacrifices; if we all put the same effort into our kids' futures as do so many working-class immigrants.
What do you think?
(As a side note, there's a new movie coming out about the plight of upper class parents in New York unable to get their kids into elite nursery schools due to crowding and high costs. There's a scene in the trailer where a woman who is all choked up says something like "they're my kids and I'd do anything for them..." Really? Would you do anything? How about quitting your job and taking care of your kids yourself?)
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Great post. Most of us come from immigrant stock, and have heard stories of great effort and sacrifice by our parents and our ancestors. I was a stay-at-home mom from the 50s to the 70s when my kids were growing up. I loved being a mom and now, so many years later, I love hearing them all talk about the things we did to amuse ourselves when we had little money for anything.
But times were relatively good then, when a man could go straight from high school or the service into a job that paid enough to raise a family.
I would love to see more stay-at-home moms today, but I'm realistic enough to know that in this economy it just can't happen. Ideally, grandparents, aunts and uncles can help to take care of the kids when both parents work, but that's not always possible, either.
The best we can do is the best we can do. We don't just have babies, we have children who then become adults. We have to be able to look ahead to what responsibilities we have for their futures. It's awesome, it's thrilling, and it's damned hard work.
Your response to the woman who was crying about getting her kids into the right nursery school was perfect! Those poor kids. They'll probably grow up to be just like her.
March 25, 2009 9:29 PM | Reply | Permalink