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Meta-mucil/Blogger™ for Blogging Blockages
Dear fellow blogger: Do you suffer from inhibitions as a result of meta blogs and comments instructing you in the fine art of proper blogging behavior, etiquette, and even quality? Are you feeling a little reticent about sticking your toe in the water at your favorite blog site? Have you heard how once, intellectual giants strode the electronic causeways of your favorite site? You may feel like these titans of debate lost interest in frequenting the blog since it was overrun by the likes of you. Perhaps you're finding it reasonable to ask why, these cerebral superpowers who so inexorably demonstrated their intellectual prowess prior to your involvement, should deign to discuss grown up topics with itsy-bitsy intellects such as yourself. If you've begun to hold back, and pray that the real intellects will return should only the simpletons, (such as yourself), cede the field, then the chilling effect on your desire to write publicly, has all ready taken root. But take heart my friend. Help is now available!
If you are someone brimming with ideas but concurrently recognizing stasis, an inability to put those thoughts into binary code due to the influence of these meta critiques, put away your tin foil hat and listen up! You may be one of the multitudes of blogger-sufferers who can benefit from Meta-mucil/Blogger™. An amazing new product for 21st century bloggers, that has been scientifically formulated to provide long lasting relief from 'self imposed' blogging inhibitions.
Perhaps you're a writer who feels you have something important to say, but your message bears striking similarities to things that other bloggers have been saying. There is nothing worse than emerging from the safe cocoon of lurking only to immediately be labeled as part of a "clique", or a "cabal", or the less organized, but no less amorphous and insidious "groupthink". It's important that your thinking be taken seriously, and being labeled as a 'groupthinker' can stymie a young blogger's online career before it even gets out of the starting blocks. Successful blogging requires that you think and yes, live outside the box, friends, and I'm here today to recommend a miracle product developed just for you. This product will strip you of all your self limiting preconceptions, predilections, and prevarications. Ladies and gentlemen, if you suffer from writer block as a result of internal pressures from external sources, call now for your money-back guaranteed first month's supply of Meta-mucil/Blogger™.
Let's imagine you just had what you consider to be the 'perfect brainstorm' and think that the world might benefit from your insight or analysis. But then you flash on how some have criticized the blogosphere as being inhabited by small minds, (perhaps even deficient in writing ability). Should you stick your neck out and share your thoughts online? Or will your "perfect brainstorm" turn out to be an amalgamation of, The Perfect Storm, and a Quentin Tarantino film, with your ship sinking in the mid-Atlantic, and your brain vaporized in a fine crimson mist on the pilot house wall? It would be easy to forgo blogging altogether, and enroll in the local junior college for some introductory English composition lessons before you ever set out to convey an idea of the complexity you may be currently considering. Additionally, you might also consider taking some meditation lessons, to ensure your ideas are free from ideological constructs before putting them out there for the rest of the world to see, (and eviscerate!). I take great pleasure today in introducing to all who have suffered writer's block, (or the more debilitating diagnosis: Fear of Blogging), as a result of these meta-messages, a remarkable and revolutionary new product: You guessed it! It's Meta-mucil/Blogger™.
But wait! There's more! Respond to this offer within the next 24 hours, and we'll include a second month's supply of Meta-mucil/Blogger™, at no extra cost!
If you suffer from any blockages in your blogging ability from any of these sources, don't delay! Act now and take advantage of this money-back guaranteed, 'internet only' offer for not one, but two months supply of Meta-mucil/Blogger™ for just the price of the first month's supply.
Many have suffered in silence for years but now relief is at hand. Meta-mucil/Blogger™ is a certified 100% organic product derived from certain roughage intensive vegetables, which have been scientifically refined and formulated to provide long lasting relief from writer block or writer inhibitions resulting from Meta posts and comments aimed at silencing voices like yours. Meta-mucil/Blogger™ is available in capsule as well as powdered form. Many enjoy starting their day by blending a delicious Meta-mucil/Blogger™ smoothie. (I prefer mine with Bananas and walnuts!)
Remember: Your writing will excel when the meta voices in your head are quelled. You can silence those voices the hard way, (see: Dylan Thomas), or you can do it the safe, organic, and 100% natural way with Meta-mucil/Blogger™. Don't delay! Internet operators are standing by to place your order. Act now and shipping is free! An unlimited future in the blogrolls of the world awaits you.
If you are someone brimming with ideas but concurrently recognizing stasis, an inability to put those thoughts into binary code due to the influence of these meta critiques, put away your tin foil hat and listen up! You may be one of the multitudes of blogger-sufferers who can benefit from Meta-mucil/Blogger™. An amazing new product for 21st century bloggers, that has been scientifically formulated to provide long lasting relief from 'self imposed' blogging inhibitions.
Perhaps you're a writer who feels you have something important to say, but your message bears striking similarities to things that other bloggers have been saying. There is nothing worse than emerging from the safe cocoon of lurking only to immediately be labeled as part of a "clique", or a "cabal", or the less organized, but no less amorphous and insidious "groupthink". It's important that your thinking be taken seriously, and being labeled as a 'groupthinker' can stymie a young blogger's online career before it even gets out of the starting blocks. Successful blogging requires that you think and yes, live outside the box, friends, and I'm here today to recommend a miracle product developed just for you. This product will strip you of all your self limiting preconceptions, predilections, and prevarications. Ladies and gentlemen, if you suffer from writer block as a result of internal pressures from external sources, call now for your money-back guaranteed first month's supply of Meta-mucil/Blogger™.
Let's imagine you just had what you consider to be the 'perfect brainstorm' and think that the world might benefit from your insight or analysis. But then you flash on how some have criticized the blogosphere as being inhabited by small minds, (perhaps even deficient in writing ability). Should you stick your neck out and share your thoughts online? Or will your "perfect brainstorm" turn out to be an amalgamation of, The Perfect Storm, and a Quentin Tarantino film, with your ship sinking in the mid-Atlantic, and your brain vaporized in a fine crimson mist on the pilot house wall? It would be easy to forgo blogging altogether, and enroll in the local junior college for some introductory English composition lessons before you ever set out to convey an idea of the complexity you may be currently considering. Additionally, you might also consider taking some meditation lessons, to ensure your ideas are free from ideological constructs before putting them out there for the rest of the world to see, (and eviscerate!). I take great pleasure today in introducing to all who have suffered writer's block, (or the more debilitating diagnosis: Fear of Blogging), as a result of these meta-messages, a remarkable and revolutionary new product: You guessed it! It's Meta-mucil/Blogger™.
But wait! There's more! Respond to this offer within the next 24 hours, and we'll include a second month's supply of Meta-mucil/Blogger™, at no extra cost!
If you suffer from any blockages in your blogging ability from any of these sources, don't delay! Act now and take advantage of this money-back guaranteed, 'internet only' offer for not one, but two months supply of Meta-mucil/Blogger™ for just the price of the first month's supply.
Many have suffered in silence for years but now relief is at hand. Meta-mucil/Blogger™ is a certified 100% organic product derived from certain roughage intensive vegetables, which have been scientifically refined and formulated to provide long lasting relief from writer block or writer inhibitions resulting from Meta posts and comments aimed at silencing voices like yours. Meta-mucil/Blogger™ is available in capsule as well as powdered form. Many enjoy starting their day by blending a delicious Meta-mucil/Blogger™ smoothie. (I prefer mine with Bananas and walnuts!)
Remember: Your writing will excel when the meta voices in your head are quelled. You can silence those voices the hard way, (see: Dylan Thomas), or you can do it the safe, organic, and 100% natural way with Meta-mucil/Blogger™. Don't delay! Internet operators are standing by to place your order. Act now and shipping is free! An unlimited future in the blogrolls of the world awaits you.
Note: Meta-mucil/Blogger ™ is guaranteed to produce results within six months of taking as directed. If after 6 months of taking Meta-mucil/Blogger™ as directed, you do not experience significant relief, just send the labels from the six month supply plus the original receipts verifying proof of purchase to Meta-mucil/Blogger, 2222 Metablogger Ave., Dakar, Senegal, for a complete refund of the first two months supply. Meta-mucil/Blogger has been said to be endorsed by G. Greenwald, M. Yglesias, M. Wheeler, and Q. Esq, although they could not be reached to confirm before going to press. Meta-mucil/Blogger™ recognizes that not all inhibitions regarding internet protocol are undesirable. An example of such would include, but not be limited to cyber-stalking other bloggers. Meta-mucil/Blogger ™ is guaranteed not to interfere with normal and desirable social inhibitions such as the natural inclination most bloggers might have to avoid tracking down their blogging nemeses in the 'real' world, with the intent to intimidate, or to make them wish they were never born.
Miguelitoh2o is on the road, and may not be monitoring this as closely as he would like, but rest assured that internet operators are standing by to place your order for Meta-mucil/Blogger ™ NOW.
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I was just thinking that if we gave this magical stuff to all of the self proclaimed intellectual giants and those who are obtuse, uptight, and rigid... it would save the rest of us from having to take it... getting the solution to the actual source of blockage so to speak.
I would recommend a free gift of a Monty Python DVD or something because humor appears to be quite lacking and would probably double the effectiveness of your product:)
September 28, 2009 6:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Humor is key my friend. Keep smilin'.
September 28, 2009 9:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Good stuff, just a little too long, if you do not mind editorial critique.
Also, I will rec whoever makes the first working post in binary code :D
September 28, 2009 6:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
I know Karl. I was thinking more more in terms of an infomercial, but the budget was cut, so we ended up as a 5 minute long commercial. :)
September 28, 2009 9:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
I might be interested, are there any side effects? Such as run-on sentences, mixed metaphors or dangling participles.
The drug I currently use causes tangential thoughts and short term memory loss are there any problems along these lines?
September 28, 2009 6:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Along all those lines as it stands right now Jonnie, but we've got R & D working out the bugs. We're looking for volunteers for our clinical trials if you're interested.
September 28, 2009 9:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Gee, the holiday season is fast approaching, do you gift wrap? Is there a discount for large orders? What about engraving initials on container (for those who crave the personal touch)? Do you provide gift cards? And of course, need to know the method of payment you accept!
How about an automatic monthly shipment option?
How about a discount for TPM Cafe site orders?
Thanks so much. Amazing product! (Um, have you hired your spokesperson yet? Hmmmm. Have some recs for the part, but in meantime, will just rec. this post!)
September 28, 2009 7:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dear Sam, we are proud to offer all of these services. There is a small $1 fee for giftwrapping and the engraving is really just a very nice decal, but we've had a lot of positive feedback. Unfortunately we're not privy to the TPM registration files, so discounts will only be offered to TPM Members who have posted a comment on a blog by tomorrow at 4 PM. There. There's an incentive for any lurker out there who wants to get in on a good deal to post a comment, and say "Howdy!".
September 28, 2009 9:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
I've been so afraid to write a post, I've reverted back to childhood (see my avatar).
You see, I wrote a poem this weekend about my desire to rush to a commune in Canada, and made the mistake of mentioning fellow bloggers in it, by name.
Woe is me. The sky fell. Someone mentioned my post in someone else's post about someone else, and....I'm still trying to recover. I'd try group therapy but I'm afraid of belonging to yet another 'clique'.
Thank you so much for this kind offer. I'd like a year's worth of the stuff.
Here's my debit card. And my home address. And my phone number. Have fun with them.
xoxo,
LisB
September 28, 2009 7:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Shipment's in the mail Lis. And you look great!
September 28, 2009 9:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
I know what you mean...my family situation got mentioned in someone's comment today, and I'm feeling a little vulnerable myself, and then there's the comment police deciding how many times we are allowed to comment on our own blogs...It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted. I'm trying to work up the courage...think this stuff will really help? I feel so inadequate. I mean, what if "they" find it lacking in merit?
September 28, 2009 9:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
P.S. Are we still allowed to call you piggy, or are we supposed to come up with something else to match the new whatever it is?
September 28, 2009 9:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Pig, peegaleeto, porky... They all work for me. It'll confuse the new reader's when everybody refers to me as the pig, which might be worth a laugh every now and then. ;)
September 28, 2009 9:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
I personally like this new avatar. I think it's adorable. It reminds me of what I expected my shipment of "Sea Monkeys" to look like when it arrived in the mail when I was in 3rd grade.
I'll never get over the disappointment when I discovered a bunch of little brown/orange threads swimming around for a week in a jar.
My sister's rainbow colored rocks fared so much better.
Damn her.
September 28, 2009 11:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
LOL. :) The axolotl is the sea monkey of your dreams Lis. Thanks for bucking the obvious groupthink at play here vis a vis my avatar. And for your interest here's a bonus.
September 29, 2009 12:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
COMMENT ON OUR OWN BLOGS? Stilli I have to reply to everyone who comments on my blog, unless its a troll or some such.
Where the hell did this come from?
AND SINCE DID YOU BECOME SHY ABOUT EXPRESSING YOURSELF?
You are one of my heroes for chrissakes. (Blesses himself and Stilli)
September 29, 2009 12:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
Is that the shit that help some of us not care whether or not we don't actually have no penises and git ignorrred by People Who Actually Have Weinies? Well then, son, send me Some o' that there stuff, wouldja? Be sure and send it to: Mr. So and So, couldja? Don't wanna be accused of no "Penis Envy", huh?
September 28, 2009 7:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wendy, Thank you for our interest in our product. I'm gonna refer you to a different division that specializes in what I think you're after. Unfortunately the link might not meet all of the rules and regs here at TPM, so shoot me an Email by clicking the "Contact Us" button on our homepage.
September 28, 2009 9:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
I don't know Miguel, but I have had an erection now for six hours and I cannot even go outside on this chilly fall day because of a tent around the zipper area.
On another note....I lost most of my shame a long time ago. If I start feeling 'it' I have to post.
THE END
September 28, 2009 7:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
*If I start 'feelin' it, I have to post"
Very wise Dick, and much more cost effective than dragging your personal physician into it.
September 28, 2009 9:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
hahahahahaha
September 28, 2009 10:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
TruckNutz!!!
Buttsekks!!!
Also.
September 28, 2009 11:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
hhahahaah
September 29, 2009 12:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
The old Meta-Mucil/Blogger(TM) was better.
Why, back in the day, we could handle 3 rousing intellectual debates, 2 full-time jobs, a world historical election, a bit of humour about how well Teilhard de Chardin would do in the UFC, AND be shitting our pants. All at the same time. Never blink an eye.
Now THAT... was Meta-Mucil/Blogger (TM.)
This new stuff is for idiots.
September 28, 2009 8:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
For those such as yourself we offer three months supply for the price of one, but we reserve the right to use you or your image in promotional material in exchange for your taking advantage of this once in a lifetime offer. Judging by your picture, I suspect the marketing department willl never collect on the deal, so can I sign you up for your first three months supply?
September 28, 2009 9:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
See, in the olden blogging days, you'd be afraid to say shit like that, what with no de Toqueville quotes or nuthin'. Hell, for a comment like that, you'd've been shunned. Comme ci.
September 28, 2009 9:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Totally OT, but just want to chime in that as much as I am put off by your avatar, tube-face-man; I would be so sorry if you changed it. I would probably have to go into mourning. I had an ultrasound of my thyroid today, and one shot looked a lot like your avatar -- not a good prognostic sign!
Miguel's new [and ugly] one brought this on. Sometimes, it helps to cling to the familiar for simple things, and only get complicated for the biggies!
OK, OK, I am trying to recover. Someone called my office today and described me as "The short nurse with the gray hair!" I may never get over that, because my hair is blond, and I am only short if you happen to be tall.
September 28, 2009 10:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah, his OLD avatar was prettttttttttty.
September 29, 2009 11:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
Perhaps the pig is slightly more cuddly than some other avatars that I can think of. Har, Har, Har!
September 29, 2009 11:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
See, now if I hadn't started my course of Meta-mucil/Blogger™ 8 months ago that might have phased me. As it is, it's all cool!
September 28, 2009 10:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Guess I'll have to get me a bottle then too. /sigh
September 29, 2009 4:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
Does it work better than 5 Coors ?
September 28, 2009 8:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
I dunno, Doomer, I'm on my 4th Coors Light right now and I'm still afraid to post.
September 28, 2009 9:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
I thought you were a Miller's girl!
September 28, 2009 9:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Both.
September 29, 2009 9:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hey, LisB, is there a way to communicate with you privately?
September 28, 2009 9:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Of course, CVille. It's lisbaumann at yahoo, and I've never been private about it.
September 28, 2009 11:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
But, just so you know....I'm not really afraid, nor am I drunk.
September 28, 2009 11:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Would you like a piece of candy?
September 29, 2009 8:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry, Mum told me not to take candy from cheekhens. Only cheesecake.
September 29, 2009 9:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hey Doomer, nice to see you. No. I think you'd have to utilize 5 Sierra Nevada, 'Torpedo", Extra IPAs to achieve similar results.
September 28, 2009 9:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
I wrecked this blog. I have wrecked several today. You can check out my wrecking record somehow, but I wouldn't recommend it. What? Oh, the Meta-Mucilage. I'm glad it comes in pill form. My veins are shot. Everybody needs more drugs. Does Big Pharma know about this? They're gonna want their cut, you know. Just put some oregano in a baggie and slip it under their door. They'll never know the difference.
;o)
September 28, 2009 9:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
You sound like a prime candidate to benefit from the advantages of our product FC. Welcome to the future!
September 28, 2009 9:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
The future! Cool. I'll be right there as soon as I finish burying the past.
September 28, 2009 10:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Better keep digging.
=D
September 28, 2009 11:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
I read your post, miguelitoh. Very funny. Interesting, too. But I really don't think you needed to make that crack about my... er... tin hats. Anybody's tin hats - not just mine. They're coming, you know... They're hungry. They talk to me at night. One of them sings. That's the scariest part...
September 28, 2009 9:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Curt, we all blog for various reasons. For me, it makes the voices fade into the background...
September 28, 2009 10:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Miguel, I really, really, really miss your old avatar. Your new one is kind of like a fake pig fetus. No offense; just voting here.
September 28, 2009 9:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
See, and here I thought my new avatar was cute. Well, I suppose someone sooner or later had to start with the ad hominems... :)
September 28, 2009 10:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hominems have nothing to do with this. Truly, my friend.
September 28, 2009 10:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
I added hominems once. I got hominy.
September 28, 2009 11:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Perhaps we should put it to a vote? Weigh in here if you have an opinion. I will abide by the results of this particular opinion poll and change back or stay the same. What's it to be readers? You may not get to have your opinion count for much in the healthcare debate, but your opinion can matter in this one small corner of the world we all inhabit. Am I a peeg? Or an axolotl?
September 28, 2009 10:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, I've already voted, so I'll recuse myself. Would anyone like to vote on this avatar for me?
http://www.gamepolitics.com/images/nurse-halo.jpg
Not you, Clearthinker. Jason, you don't get a vote either!
September 28, 2009 10:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
I see you more like this, or perhaps this.
September 28, 2009 10:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
For C'ville, it's the second one. Just like her!
September 28, 2009 11:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
I vote for piggy's first this...seems much more the way I picture you!
September 28, 2009 11:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, I kinda like the frog-pig zygote thing. Cute ears. Cute ears are important. Yeah, frog-pig gets my vote.
September 28, 2009 11:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
That's the spirit FC. No groupthink at play here. :)
September 29, 2009 12:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
The peeg wins! (I crave those shoes. And they come in pairs of 4!)
Hahahahahaha
September 28, 2009 11:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
So.. are you voting for the peeg? Cause if the pig is my default avatar, nobody gets the slippers. Think carefully before you answer puppy.
September 29, 2009 1:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
If you stick with this one, miquelito, you owe me your slippers.
September 28, 2009 11:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well unless some trend forms that we're not seeing at this point, it looks like I'm keeping the slippers BF.
September 29, 2009 12:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Don't even try to fit them over those skinny fingers. I know where you're going with this, I can see right through you. So I officially cast my vote for the "new you". Now - hand over the footwear.
September 29, 2009 1:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
Let's not rush to judgement here BF. This blog doesn't even expire for another 16+ hours. The polls are still open, but please let me assure you if I retire the peeg, the slippers are yours as promised.
September 29, 2009 1:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry dude, I got told long ago - when you've got a completely identifiable avatar, one that people pick out of a stream of comments instantly - that you'd be nuts to change it. The new little guy is cute, but he doesn't jump out the same way. And that's the point, right? So people can easily find you when they're talking to you, kinda like the pic, etc.
And yeah, I know, I know - I never thought I'd end up being Tube Guy all my life. I just think... you're the peeg.
Vote PEEG!
September 29, 2009 1:46 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah it is kinda funny how you live with the tube-guy or pig avatar well after you might feel like stretching your wings, being a butterfly, a wolf, or even a Mexican salamander.
Well, here's the way it's breaking down so far:
In the axolotl camp we have LisB, Flowerchild, and barefooted
In the Pig camp we have CVille, Stilli, and Quinn.
I think San Fernando Curt was signaling a preference for the axolotl with that comment about Hominy, and I'm not sure where Seashell is coming down, as she seems to covet the pig's shoes, (which have previously been bequeathed to Barefooted, should I retire the avatar), yet the driving puppy made the declarative statement that "the pig wins". May come down to a technical call once the votes are in if it's close.
This is shaping up to be a real pig/axolotl race the way it looks right now.
September 29, 2009 2:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm calling for a recount if Barefooted gets the shoes! Just so you know, I'll see you in court and then we'll see just whose ballots those slippers fit first.
Besides, Barefooted won't be barefooted if she gets the slippers, whereas the driving puppy has tender little paws to protect.
Other than that, I'm still deciding. :-)
September 29, 2009 2:21 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ok, you win.
Oh.... wait. Look what I found! HA!
September 29, 2009 11:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm pretty sure most of us would recognize a new avatar if you got one...we may be ignorant, but we can ususally be counted on to put 2 + 2 together. 22, right? You could be one of those horse or donkey dongs y'all favor so much.
September 29, 2009 9:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
This one was for Quinn.
September 29, 2009 10:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Darn it. In my heart I agree with Quinn; it's just that I've longed for your slippers from afar ... so close ...
Alright, the pig in the slippers (and the sunglasses) it is, then. But I'm watching you.
September 29, 2009 2:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
You were taken care of over here, barefooted. :-)
September 29, 2009 2:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
I think we're clear about the slippers, Shell. I'm laying down the law but making an offer "over there" ... what ya think? ;)
September 29, 2009 2:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
Mmmmmm. They fit purrrrrfect. All snuggly. Perfect for Fall.
September 29, 2009 11:23 AM | Reply | Permalink
You sir are a peeg.
September 29, 2009 10:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
You're a better person than I miguelito. People talk about the clique here but there's not just one. Its nice to see someone reaching out to the lurker clique but I hate them.
Have they ever offered any kind words of support to anyone here? Never!!!
When a new blogger shows up do they ever welcome them? Not once!!!
Think what its like to be a new blogger here. You work and work to refine your post and wait eagerly for some response to all that hard work. Then one of the largest cliques here gives you the silent treatment, ignores your every word, shuns you like you're some pariah.
But that's not the worse of it. The lurker clique is actively attempting to drive people off the cafe. If you want to befriend a member of the lurker clique, if you'll like to be a part of the lurker clique. Well the only way you can be part of the lurker clique is if you stop posting. No blogs, no comments, no posting on the cafe at all. If you're posting here you can't be a lurker.
The only good quality the lurker clique has is consistency, they are consistently cruel. They turn their cold shoulder to both the old bloggers and the new ones. They shun both the intelligent people here and the stupid.
You're to be admired for reaching out to the lurker clique but don't expect any success. You will not get any response to your kind gesture. And if by some chance someone from the lurker clique does post a response, the rest of the lurker clique will with one mind (talk about group think) immediately ignore their former companion.
September 28, 2009 10:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
See. Now that's the problem with silent majorities. They're all lurkers at heart, and you never know what darkness dwells in the heart of the willfully silent. Never know what they're thinkin of you or your ideas. Like we're speaking different languages. They're like that. Kinda .
September 28, 2009 11:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dear Mr. Peeg,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful offer to discount for commenting commenters. However, I have a question about the claim that Meta-mucil/Blogger™ is guaranteed not to interfere with normal and desirable social inhibitions... Is this due to the roughage intensive vegetables and can you please tell me what those vegetables are? Is celery included?
September 28, 2009 10:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Let me reassure you SS, that this product is completely safe. Why I've been on it for over eight months now, and have only been arrested once within that time period for 'willful destruction of personal property', and it's my contention that the event is totally unrelated to the safe and beneficial use of our product. Regarding the ingredients of Meta-mucil/Blogger™, I'm afraid that's proprietary information, and I would add that if it did include celery, it would and should be administered orally only.
September 28, 2009 11:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
You are mi muy simpatico ameego no matter wot you look like.
¿esta bien?
September 28, 2009 11:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why thanks cheekhen! Wot's in an avatar anyway? Would not a pig smell as sweet as a pig.... Though, I suppose if some feel that strongly about salamanders, I will revert to my porcine ways... at least for a while.
September 29, 2009 12:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, Mr. Peeg. I was hoping you would say some of that. I'm sure your arrest must have been a case of mistaken identity. Some think, like those Hominem people, that one peeg looks like another. Ridiculous!
September 29, 2009 2:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
Did someone say frog? Well I'm not sceeered much by mucilicious lurkoids. Say what? Just been dwelling in an unintended location, somewhere in my abdomen. Also, someone locked my comment door - those nasty blogeating lunchkins. I believe the doors are open again.
We'll all post, post-someday, gawds willingly distributed up here where the new axolotl laughs and jumps up and down at post-celery parades in our TPM cafe where-adise. Oh piggy, we need more, but I'll take five, please.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwNrmYRiX_o
September 29, 2009 12:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
Comin' right up strat. Watch those 'mucilaginous lurkoids dwellin' in your stomach' don't morph into something much more invasive, (see: Aliens, the movie). I think the powdered form of our product will help clean your system out to best effect. And from the same year as Dave and the band, here's one of my favorite things.
September 29, 2009 1:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
Bravo! Very nicely done indeed!
September 29, 2009 12:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hey Oleeb, at the risk of sounding like we're groupthinkers, thanks man.
September 29, 2009 1:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
No way man. You ain't going to take away my tin hat.
I mean sure others tin hat's are kinda crazy. But mine protects. I know. I paid good money for it, and it came guaranteed just like your so-called 'meta-mucil' product. But it is metal. METAL! That provides security. You know like Damascus steel. Not like your weird axolotl poop you are trying to Huck here. Metal is for real. It will cut you (well paper-cut at least). Protection. That is why I use it. Suit up every time I log on.
So you can take your creepy repackaged vegetative fecal byproducts and sell it to the moderates in the audience but I like my protection old school. Just like my blogging.
September 29, 2009 1:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
Now you sound like someone who might benefit from our sister company's premier product, the AFDB. The AFDB is not like other tin foil hats. It is designed with a double layer of foil with a unique gel insulating layer sandwiched between the two foil layers. It's the insulating layer that makes all the difference. Sure, you could sandwich a toque with tin foil, but our research shows the specially formulated insulating gel outperforms wool with superior results, especially in the 300 MHz to 6000 MHz range.
September 29, 2009 1:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nice try creepy smiley innocent looking salamander dude.
Yeah. I heard about that company, AFDB, I seen their high tech fancy acronym droping website(MHZ!!!). Pschoytronic? Whatever. They're a front man! Hell even their name sounds like "ATF". Coincidence?
Nope I know better. I only trust hot blonds to sell me my protection I like it straight up.
September 29, 2009 2:14 AM | Reply | Permalink
Rolling on the floor laughing my tail off!
September 29, 2009 2:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
I am, of course, the only one who sees the hypocrisy in this.
It's ok to throw darts as Jason, accusing him of "meta" and other awful things.
Your advice to Jason is to ignore posts that you don't like so as not to get in flame wars with loons like "igotmyreasons".
But that advice should also apply to Miguel and others on here.
If you think someone (like Jason) had a dumb post just ignore and move on
September 29, 2009 5:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
This is a perfect example of what's wrong with the atmosphere at TPMcafe.
September 29, 2009 9:05 AM | Reply | Permalink
I completely agree. People say - "Jason, if you don't like igotmyreasons rants, just ignore them rather than starting a flame-war". But when Jason posts something that makes alot of people's stomachs churn, do they just ignore it? No - they rail him for posting "meta" blogs.
September 29, 2009 10:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
You are either unwilling or incapable of understanding my view on this issue.
September 29, 2009 10:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
I don't think you've told us what your view is.
Just saying that my post is the perfect example of what's wrong doesn't really elaborate on what you think is wrong with the atmosphere here.
September 29, 2009 12:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hi Bill. Good to see you. I'm sure you're the only one here who sees a lot of things the way you do. It's the price you pay as a right wing guy who hangs out on a "center-left blog". That said, I'm not blogging about any one person in particular here. I can think of at least 5 bloggers off the top of my head who might see this blog as at least partially directed at them. What I hoped to convey is that people are, or can be intimidated by the pervasive and, I think, inadvertent attempts of some to control not just the tone but the content of both blogs and comments by impugning the general level of intelligence on the board as well as engaging in overly aggressive responses. It's a strategy that I think is counterproductive to the generation of thoughtful posts, but rather encourages thinking to stay within an unspecified boundary. Either way, you are free to do as you say and ignore that which you choose to ignore, or flame on if you feel it's appropriate.
September 29, 2009 11:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
Écrasez l'infâme!!
September 29, 2009 11:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
Vous avez un fétichisme des pieds de porc mon ami. You look good in cow slippers... I'm worried about how barefooted and seashell are gonna see this though.
September 29, 2009 12:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm just sayin', dude. Peeple luv da peeg.
September 29, 2009 12:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Fair enough. It seemed very coincidental that your blog was written right after Jason's fairwell piece.
It seems that rather than just ignore his fairwell piece if someone doesn't like it, people are choosing instead to tell him what a cry baby he is.
That seems to fly in the face with the same suggestions that those people are telling him - which is to just ignore people's posts who you disagree with and see little hope in having a sensible discussion with.
September 29, 2009 12:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wait, um, isn't this a meta blog too? ;)
September 29, 2009 2:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
You bet it's a 'Meta' blog Matyra! Says so right in the title. "Meta-mucil/Blogger™ for Blogging Blockages". We haven't heard much from you lately... so... can I put you down for a 6 month supply?
September 29, 2009 8:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
lol, hmmm, I've got enough for maybe a couple months worth. Maybe I can give some plasma and come up with the rest.
September 30, 2009 11:39 AM | Reply | Permalink
Miguel: six month supply of powder for smoothie, please; jar-monogrammed, pass on gift-wrap and gift card, and Pig, please. Or pig with Axol rider, with shades.
Great blog.
September 29, 2009 8:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
The powder is my favorite Wendy. Just be careful if you cross international borders with it. And it looks like the pig is currently ahead by a length or so...
September 29, 2009 11:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
I vote Peeg. And I'll take a year's supply when I get my new address. Highly wrecked blog, this.
September 29, 2009 9:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
Highly wrecked, indeed, LL! :)
September 29, 2009 11:46 AM | Reply | Permalink
Obviously I don't need your product. I mean, I'm Wolfrum for Christ sakes. However, I would be willing to endorse your product for the necessary fee. Please contact one of my several agents and we'll see what we can work out.
September 29, 2009 9:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
Would these be your agents?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HnDHntaunM
September 29, 2009 10:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well, William, we're looking for some endorsements with a little more 'name recognition than what I think you can provide, however, I can offer you a special promotional deal. If you mention our product in at least one blog per month, or carry a link yo our product page on the front page of your blog, I can authorize a discounted price to you this one time only. Please let me know your thoughts ASAP, as there are a limited number of these promotional deals, and they are disappearing fast.
September 29, 2009 11:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
Name recognition?! Did I mention that I'm Wolfrum? I thought I did.
Anyway, can we at least due a co-promotion with "Blogger Hero®"
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/williamkwolfrum/2009/09/introducing-blogger-hero-the-f.php
September 29, 2009 1:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Interesting concept Wolfie. Meta-mucil/Blogger™ might just dovetail with Blogger Hero® fairly well. I'll have the marketing dept. run it by our advertising agency, and get back to you. Regardless of what they decide, our offer of the promotional deal for a dicount in exchange for exposure in your blogs still stands.
September 29, 2009 2:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Pig negotiating with a Wolf.
Why does this seem a bad idea?
September 29, 2009 8:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
It was a salamander and a wolf when the negotiations started. This is looking like an improvement to me.
September 29, 2009 8:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Does it come in suppository form for some of the Known Anal Fetishists at the Cafe? Not mentioning any avatars by name...
September 29, 2009 10:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
Wendy, your questions are answered here.
September 29, 2009 11:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
And if you ask me the real seamy underbelly of this site are the shoe fetishists. Like this guy.
September 29, 2009 12:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nice one Miguel. Confess I could use some mental fiber to stimulate my brain bowels, as it were, one might say. Too much meta around here, to little of the Musil.
("It is not the case that we reflect on things. Rather, things think themselves out within us.")
- words to... digest...
;0)
P.S. One vote for the pig in slippers.
September 29, 2009 11:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Why thanks.
September 29, 2009 11:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
ACK! That took me about ten seconds to compute. My fiberless brain must be fragile these days.
Avatar-swapping... ew. gross.
;0)
September 29, 2009 11:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
His eyes are bloodshot. Probably shouldn't go out this early in the morning without sunglasses.
September 29, 2009 12:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
V. funny, asshole.
Give it back.
September 29, 2009 12:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
Qu'est-ce que c'est? Les lunettes de soleil?
September 29, 2009 12:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Don't be starting in with the "lunettes" again. Dick'll be over here sniffing about for favourite words, and he'll snarfle that one up in an instant.
Lunette... my ass.
September 29, 2009 1:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oleeb! I knew you had excellent taste! Thanks for chiming in! I think the thing I dislike about this new one is that it looks like it was made from PlayDough or Skulpy or something. It looks like it could be purchased at ToysRUs!
Sorry Miguel, I have to call 'em as I see 'um
September 29, 2009 7:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nice try, miguelitoh.
But no way am I gonna post anything here!!
-- ARG
September 29, 2009 2:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nobody expects you to blog till you've completed your first six month course of MMfB, ARG. I'm shipping it COD. ENJOY!
September 29, 2009 7:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
AWESOME!!!! PEEGALITO IS BACK!!!!
Which reminds me.... 1/2 pound of back bacon.... some fresh eggs.... Mmmmmm. Tastalicious.
September 29, 2009 2:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Then slippers on their rightful hooves, I presume?? I haughtily ignored the two of you and your secret back-room deals; conspiring in hushed squeals and nasal drips to break my deal with the peeg. Since he's returned to his old glory, I will cease and desist from any further discussion on the subject --- for now.
September 29, 2009 3:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm exhausted from shape-shifting avatars. Too tired to blog... Could also be that I just got back from a ride up to Rocky Mtn. National Park.
September 29, 2009 7:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
Excuses, excuses.
;)
September 29, 2009 8:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Rest assured my friend, the shoes are yours when and if the time comes.
September 29, 2009 8:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hrrumph. (Is that right?)
I'm not sure I want them anymore, she pouts. They smell Canadian.
September 30, 2009 12:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
I understand completely BF. Canadian bacon just doesn't do it for me either. Guess I should send them out to be dry cleaned, eh?
September 30, 2009 12:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is there really a land of Giants? Is it New York?
September 29, 2009 3:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey Prof. B! Could be San Francisco too.
September 29, 2009 8:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have designed the new packaging for Mr. Peeg's product. Vote here if you like it!
September 29, 2009 5:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Very nicely done!
September 29, 2009 6:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Awesome SS!
September 29, 2009 7:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Welcome back, Mr. Peeg. Feel free to use the new packaging should there ever be a need to offer the product again. (heh!)
September 29, 2009 8:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nice!
September 29, 2009 8:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
=D
You rawk!
September 29, 2009 8:34 PM | Reply | Permalink