How the dutch got to accept gay marriage, and what you can learn from it.
In the Netherlands gay marriage has been legalised since (2001), but the road to that point didn't involve some kind of culture war or liberal takeover where two sides where bitterly divided. Offcourse our situation is different, since we have a multi party system the christian parties are not always in power. At this point they are however and they won't undertake any action to ban gay marriage. The netherlands didn't get to this point by bluntly legalising this form of marriage and shuning people who have problems with it.
The First step was a registered partnership, which was already avaiable at the time to hetrosexuals who didn't feel like tying the knot, but wanted to be able to have thew fiscal and other advantages of marriage. in 1998 this was opened up to gay couples as well, providing them all expept one of the benefits of marriage. (for both gays and straights in such a partnership, children must be recognised seperatly by at least one of the parents.). Now the debate around gay marriage completly changed, the true biggots who where against any goverment aproval of any gay activity gave up, their goals where no longer the same as those of christians who had an very rigid and clasical view of marriage (and ones even opposed divorce...). So now the opposition was smaller the true biggots and homophobes left the debat, or became less active becaus their goals seemed unpobtainable. the christian opposition against the legalisation of true marriage remained but these christians distanced themselfs from other biggogst when it became apperent to them that they did not share their goal of protecting just the word marriage, but where opposed to anything gay.
this split the opposition to gay marriage in two and sepperated the true haters from christian who can't get over the word "marriage" as being thiers. At the same time the gay community was enboldened by their victory, and had most practical problems whith not being able to be lawfully married solved. This mean they could now continu the debate from a better possition, one in which their practical problems where solved and they clearly knew who could be reasoned with (i.e which fractions after a lot of reasoning accepted gay civil unions.)and which where just biggots.
Three years later (2001) the law allowed gays to officially get married, offcourse not many chyurches will allow this to happen between their walls but thats their right. .
So engaging Rick Warren and accepting civil unions isn't accepting defeat, it gives you a
better view of who in your opposition is open to debate and who is a biggot that cannot be reasoned with. At the same time the gay community will see most of its practical problems solved. Find out who in the christian coalition on the right is open for full civil unions those are the people one can engage in debate the others are clear biggots.
The First step was a registered partnership, which was already avaiable at the time to hetrosexuals who didn't feel like tying the knot, but wanted to be able to have thew fiscal and other advantages of marriage. in 1998 this was opened up to gay couples as well, providing them all expept one of the benefits of marriage. (for both gays and straights in such a partnership, children must be recognised seperatly by at least one of the parents.). Now the debate around gay marriage completly changed, the true biggots who where against any goverment aproval of any gay activity gave up, their goals where no longer the same as those of christians who had an very rigid and clasical view of marriage (and ones even opposed divorce...). So now the opposition was smaller the true biggots and homophobes left the debat, or became less active becaus their goals seemed unpobtainable. the christian opposition against the legalisation of true marriage remained but these christians distanced themselfs from other biggogst when it became apperent to them that they did not share their goal of protecting just the word marriage, but where opposed to anything gay.
this split the opposition to gay marriage in two and sepperated the true haters from christian who can't get over the word "marriage" as being thiers. At the same time the gay community was enboldened by their victory, and had most practical problems whith not being able to be lawfully married solved. This mean they could now continu the debate from a better possition, one in which their practical problems where solved and they clearly knew who could be reasoned with (i.e which fractions after a lot of reasoning accepted gay civil unions.)and which where just biggots.
Three years later (2001) the law allowed gays to officially get married, offcourse not many chyurches will allow this to happen between their walls but thats their right. .
So engaging Rick Warren and accepting civil unions isn't accepting defeat, it gives you a
better view of who in your opposition is open to debate and who is a biggot that cannot be reasoned with. At the same time the gay community will see most of its practical problems solved. Find out who in the christian coalition on the right is open for full civil unions those are the people one can engage in debate the others are clear biggots.
