I've done a little online research and find press reports after the invasion, in the Guardian in 7/2003 and AP in 9/2003 but my cursory research turns up no inquiries prewar especially by any branch of either government.

You'd think if they were so concerned about possible yellowcake transfers to launch three different inquiries in Niamey they'd at least want to go directly to the scene of the supposed crime and check out first hand how feasible it would be if nothing else.

Anybody know if they contacted these companies, their owners or sent anyone to ask questions at the facilities in Arlit? If not why not? If so why didn't we hear about it? Of course the answers they may have gotten didn't fit the prewar spin any better than Wilson's report. But if we're going to get to the bottom of this somebody ought to tell Rockefeller to ask that question because either way the answer is more evidence that their argument for war was based only on conjecture that fit their goals rather than the facts. 

Jesus General JC Christian at Operation Yellow Elephant has come up with another brilliant plan to get Republicans to back their words with action. Write the young Repub congressmen, woman and Senator Sununu to get them to back the bill in Congress raising the enlistment age to 42 and then ask them to join the US Army for deployment to Iraq. Ask for a response. Let's get their butts on the line or let them explain why not. You'll have to google Operation Yellow Elephant to get the details because I can't figure out how to post an URL here @#%. 

If that isn't your cup of tea the Army is awarding a new advertising contract to Leo Burnett Agency. There's contact info to ask them if they're going to get FOX News and the Christian Boradcasting Network to offer up free air time for the commercials so they can broadcast to their best audience.  Expose the hypocrisy and this war will end much sooner. 

Josh please fix this website. This is ridiculous.   

Dear Sirs,

I write to you today about the very serious problems we have maintaining the US Army's fighting capabilities. In case it hasn't been stovepiped up to you the Army RecruitingCommand failed to meet it's enlistment quotas for the past four months in a row. Lt. Gen. James R. Helmly the head ofthe Army Reserve sent Gen. Peter J. Schoomaker, the Army chief of staff a memo last December that said "his command is rapidly degenerating into a 'broken' force." This is a very real crisis. We are losing our young officers and noncoms, the backbone of our volunteer Army.

Secretary of State Rice said the other day, "The administration, I think, has said to the American people that it is a generational commitment to Iraq". This is news to me but if we're going to be involved militarily for a generation in Iraq then we'd better get crackin on the the Army retention and recruitment pronto. We can't stay the course in Iraq for another few years let alone a generation with a hollow Army. Sure if we outlaw abortion there will be plenty of unwanted babies growing up in poverty who'll be prime pickin's but that won't be for another...youguessed it...generation!

There is already mounting pressure for reinstituting the draft and while I don't agree with a lot of your policies I do agree with you that a new draft is out of the question. You don't want to be besieged in the White House while hundreds of thousands of hippies shout bad names at you like Nixon do you? So how do we solve this problem? Do we throw money at it as we have recently, proposing to up enlistment bonuses and provide mortgage assistance enticements? I think we can do it better and cheaper.

As your election team proved last year you're very adept at targeting specific audiences with specific messages.There's no need to waste money on targeting young Democrats to join. After all Democrats nominated a war hero last year, a man who earned a Silver Star, a Bronze Star and threePurple Hearts in Vietnam. Your administration and it's surrogates savaged his war record and questioned his patriotism and in doing so the patriotism of all Democrats.

Before your convention I heard Laura Bush, former President George HW Bush, and Karl Rove all insinuate Kerry's postwar activities were anti American and unpatriotic. TheSwiftboat Veterans claimed he never even earned his medals. As patriotic as they are Democratic kids aren't going to be an easy sell when they've been labelled blame America firsters. Especially when we're going to be fighting in Iraq for another whole generation with unclear goals.

Why do I say unclear goals? The stated benchmarks for withdrawal appear to have been met. Disarming Iraq of WMD, removing Saddam from power, allowing for free elections in Iraq have all been accomplished. Your administration says we've trained 169,000 Iraqis to protect their fledgling democracy against an enemy that I've never seen estimated at higher than about 20,000 deadenders. If, as you say VicePresident Cheney, the insurgrency is in it's last throes then you're not going to find many Democrats willing to go for mop up duty that's best left to Iraqis. Especially when their contribution will just be ridiculed. Let's not waste taxpayer dollars trying. Here's where you can get the recruits we need to fill the ranks.

The College Republican National Committee claims to have 120,000 members, all are of fighting age and potential Army recruits. They have a well produced website I've visited over the last week. On that website they have many job opportunites at such think tanks as the Heritage Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute. Apparently business is booming in Republican political circles. But there isn't one link, one mention of any military recruiting site on their website at all.

And believe me I've looked. I've written them 4 emails since last Thursday asking them to correct this omission and have had no response. Maybe you could send them a note. Even better they have their bienniel convention coming up this weekend at the Crystal Gateway Marriott in Arlington VA. As of yet I don't see any military speakers scheduled to speak on the agenda. The biggest name is Tom DeLay and while I'm sure he'll give a rousing speech he's not qualified to talk about serving our country in combat. Maybe you could see to it that Army Recruiting Command can get in to set up some tables and hand out enlistment forms. These are your most likely candidates to support the long slog in Iraq.

But there's another good reason. I think it's very important that the next generation of Republican political leaders serve in the military and if need be see combat. So many of you in the current generation haven't and it shows. Maybe if they serve and see what war is really like they won't repeat silly mistakes like declaring "mission accomplished" at the beginning of a quagmire.

Another idea is Jenna and Barbara. I know you don't want to hear this Mr. President but hear me out. They've been out of Yale now for a year. As far as I know neither has landed a job. It would do wonders for Army recruiting if they were to sign up. They could pull safe duty in the Green Zone. It would show their true commitment to your policies. They'd be the biggest thing to hit the Army since Elvis and would do wonders for recruiting. What redblooded American boy wouldn't like to dive into a muddy trench when the mortars start falling with one of the twins?

I hear you're going to mount a new PR blitz soon explaining the need to stay the course in Iraq. Please use my suggestions as otherwise we run the risk of a true "Vietnamization" of Iraq. And we all know how well that worked last time.

TrueBlue Patriotically yours,
Mark Garrity

Subject: It's Monday morning dudes.

It's time to get up, it's time to get up, it's time to get up in the moorrrnnnnning! Those are the lyrics to reveille. I know it sounds like a French word but it's really not. It's the song the bugler blows to wake you up when you're in the Army! Isn't that cool? My mom used to sing that to us all the time when we were little to get us out of bed until my big brother threw a lamp at her. She was an Army brat when she was a kid. As a matter of fact she was born in the Panama Canal Zone when her parents were stationed there. She loved the Army life, always says moving from one fetid swamp to the next third world hellhole at the drop of some general's hat, never staying in one place long enough to make any real friends was the best kind of life for a child.      

But enough reminiscing. By now you know why I'm writing. I just checked your website again and still no link to GoArmy.com. Why? Have you been infected by a virus or something?

Or is it just apathy? I see so much apathy and downright traitorous behavior lately I'm getting disheartened. Walter B. Jones, the congressman from NC who invented "freedom fries" now wants an "exit strategy". Chuck Hagel, also ostensibly a Republican but obviously a trojan jackass in horse's ass clothing says "we're losing in Iraq". It's like these legislators have been replaced by Demorat pod people. Even my own parents don't seem to care anymore. I called yesterday to wish my dad a Happy Father's Day and asked them to help me convince you to enlist. When I read them my previous missives my mom said, "Mark, you need to get laid." My dad just hung up the extension. And they even voted for President Bush!!! Twice!!! I gotta tell ya that was a real blow and I got more than a little weepy after that. It's so frustrating trying to be brave and stay the course when everybody seems to be turning all sissy mary on me.

Here's the thing. Hagel is wrong. Jones is wrong. My mom's right but that's irrelevant. We're not losing in Iraq!!! WE'RE NOT, WE'RE NOT, WE'RE NOT!!!! We're building 14 permanent bases there, does that sound like we're losing? We killed over 500 insurgents last week alone. That's real progress! If you add it all up we've killed over 26,000 of the islamofacist ne'er-do-wells since March 2003. Pissant Sunnis (the enemy) make up about 20% of the population of Iraq. Iraq has about 25 million people. At the rate we're killing them it'll only take...hang on, I'm figuring it out right now...um, never mind. WE'RE NOT LOSING, OK?!!!  

I'm back. Phew that was close. I got so worked up I almost choked on my Count Choculas. I have to remember to take small bites.

Look I've about had it. I let you guys rest on the Lord's day yesterday and didn't bother you. But unless I hear back from you or see a GoArmy.com ad on your website by tomorrow I'm telling. That's right, I'm going to write to President Bush and Karl Rove, and yes I mean THAT Karl Rove, not the one who was indicted for selling child pornography in 1989, and tell them that you're a bunch of shirkers. I'll know they'll listen to me and you're gonna be in big trouble. So there. Do you want that? Do you really? Then please do as I ask so we can all get back on message comparing Dick Durbin to Adolf Hitler or Neville Chamberlain or whatever it's supposed to be.  

As always I remain stumped by your indifference.

Your comrade in arms,

Mark Garrity

6/16/2005

Subject: Dear CRNC,

You guys do good work. I particularly like your stuff on Social Security. I'm sure with help from people like you the President will be able to privatize the whole system before he leaves office.

I'm writing today to ask a favor. As you probably know our occupation of Iraq isn't going as well as it could. Some of the less gungho members of the military like this General  Casey are calling our military efforts in Iraq "the Pillsbury Doughboy idea" -- pressing the insurgency in one area only causes it to rise elsewhere.

Well there's a reason for this apparently defeatist attitude: we don't have enough soldiers in our volunteer military to stay the course. We need to kill or capture and yes, if need be "rough up" insurgents for the vital intelligence we need to win the hearts and minds of Iraqis and prove we'll be there for the longhaul to protect them. But the Army has missed it's recruiting goals for 4 months running. The Marines thank God have only missed their goals one month out of the last 10 years. The Navy and Air Force are doing fine recruiting wise but very few of them are sent to Iraq. Don't even ask about the Reserves and the Guard. That's a sucker's bet anyway. Join the Guard and you'll get sent to Iraq for less pay and benes with older equipment than the regular Army. Who needs that?

Anyway my point is the volunteer Army needs soldiers if we are to complete the mission in Iraq. And where better to find them but among college Republicans? You're the best and brightest and our country needs you now. Won't you please ask your members to get down to their local recruiting office and sign up today? A big blurb on your website with a link to http://www.goarmy.com/ would help a lot!

The alternative I'm afraid is a draft. A lot of DC military types are openingly talking about it. Even that creep Biden broached the subject on one of those Sunday morning talk shows this weekend. If there's a draft it's bound to scoop up a bunch of lefties that have no interest in President Bush's success or a successful outcome in Iraq. They and their hippy parents may well start massive demonstrations that could force us to bring our troops home before the mission is accomplished, just like Vietnam. But even if they don't do we want those kind of people taking credit for President Bush's victory? We don't need to be making anymore John Kerrys if you know what I mean. If we didn't have the Swiftboat veterans last year exposing his record he might very well be President today!

Think about that. And then think about what a stint in Iraq with the US army will do for YOUR record and your cred. Imagine not only the big cash enlistment bonus and educational opportunities you'll receive but the way phrases like "take it from me, I was there" or "when I fought in Iraq" will sagely roll off your tongue and stop all arguments right in their tracks as admirers (especially the ladies) turn to hear your words of wisdom in years to come.

This is your chance to make the money and earn the respect you and your family so richly deserve by becoming a US Army combat veteran. Now I'm sure your parents are going to be  concerned about your safety. Remind them Vice President Cheney says the insurgency is in it's last throes. By the time you get out of basic training - and I'm not going to sugarcoat it - get sent to Iraq the fighting should be all but over. But in the event the Vice President's prediction proves to be premature you and your parents can rest easy knowing you'll be fighting with the finest military the world has ever seen against an assortment of poorly trained jihadis and cranky Sunni Arabs who don't even know how to properly clean a weapon let alone fire one. Yes it'll be hot, uncomfortable and you'll stand a small but real chance of getting killed or maimed, most likely by an IED, but if you look at it your chances of dieing are really not that much greater than getting run over on campus by a drugged out war protester who can't see out the front window of his car because of all the pot smoke.

And btw do you really want to spend the next several years futilely debating with potsmoking clowns and socialist professors or wouldn't you really rather do something that would really help the President, the Republican party and yourselves? We need you to grab for the glory today! Won't you please help?

6/17/2005

Subject: I'm disappointed in you.

I know it's not Festivus time but my airing of grievances can't wait til the holidays. After writing you yesterday I thought surely by now there'd be a link on your main page to at least one US Army recruiter. But even when I click there on the link for jobs and internships on your front page I see nothing, nada, doodly squat about anything related at all to the military! This simply will not do.

Let me explain something kids. We're at war. The US Army fell short of it's enlistment goals in May by 25 percent. They had hoped to recruit 6,700 new members but missed the mark by 1,661 recruits. Even after lowering their quota from over 8000 they still missed their goals. This makes the fourth month in a row that the active duty Army hasn't been able to round up enough able bodied, drug free, non felon patriots like yourselves to fill the ranks. Wars don't win themselves ya know. We need you and those like you in basic training getting ready to go to Iraq yesterday! Now there you did it. Do you see that? Well of course you don't, but take my word for it, you just made me cry.

Now maybe some of you have other priorities. I can certainly understand that. It would have been a tragedy of monumental proportions for instance if Vice President Cheney or President Bush had perished in a steaming jungle in Vietnam, impaled through the heart with blood spurting out as they writhed in agony on a pungee stick full of icky Viet Cong poison in a trap set by dirty guerillas who didn't fight fairly. But look, some of you are never going to grow up to hold high office. You know who you are and for you the risks are  tolerable. Even if you do see yourself as POTUS, SCOTUS or SECDEF material you must have friends, ok maybe not friends, but acquaintances who don't. What's the harm in talking up an Army career to them? You claim to have more than 120,000 members in your organization. If just a tiny percentage of your group signed up today Army Recruiting Command wouldn't have to have nationwide stand-down days like they did in May to remind their people that kidnapping, threats, and lying to potential recruits is verboten. It's so tough these days for recruiters to find the right kind of men they've had to resort to shanghaiing them! That's just not right. If you all signed up, all 120,000 of you, imagine how fast we could clean up the world. We'd have enough boots to put on the ground to take Syria, Iran and North Korea or any other place President Bush chose to liberate. And probably in a whole lot less than 3 weeks!

You are the hope of the world, the cream of the crop so I hope you'll help me dry my tears and at the very least correct this oversight by putting up a link to the GoArmy.com on your frontpage. They'll probably even pay you a few sheckels if you do. Whaddya say?

Yours Truly,
Mark Garrity

6/18/2005

Subject: Still no ad yet?  

Look I know it's summer, school's out and you kids like to sleep in and all but this is ridiculous. Your website hasn't changed one iota as far as I can tell since I went there on Wednesday! We have a recruiting emergency! We even have Republican congressmen calling for an "exit strategy". I think we all know what that means, exit strategy = defeat. Is that what you want? Don't let these traitors tie President Bush's hands and frog march our troops out of Iraq in shame!

I'm gonna be frank. There aren't enough Iraqi soldiers trained yet to take over the mission. Sure there's 107 "trained battalians" but the fact of the matter is only 3 of those battalians know how to conduct a sweep without getting their butts shot off. Most of them have had about 3 weeks of basic and I gotta tell ya in the marines three weeks of boot camp isn't even long enough to break your will and convince you that you're not half the man you thought you were even if you're a girl!

Iraqi soldiers huddle around in front of a suspect's house in perfect suicide bomber bait formation while a couple of their braver soldiers go inside, hat in hand, and politely ask the lady of the house if her husband is a lean, mean terrorist killing machine. Well they may not have a language barrier like most of our guys but I think you can see what that kind of political correctness is doing for the war effort. Besides most Iraqi soldiers make about $300 a month. You can't get a Mexican immigrant to spit on your foot let alone do any real work for that kind of money around here! No wonder a lot of them run away when the first IED goes off or someone calls their wives and tells them they're going to kidnap and torture their kids if they don't quit!!! 
   
No dudes (and I mean no disrespect to the ladies among you but one of the local kids told me "dudes" in youth slang these days is a perfectly acceptable address for both boys and girls, if I was misled I apologize in advance, I'm not sure I should trust his word because he hit me and stole my wallet right after that, probably a Democrat) anyhoo no dudes, we need American soldiers to hunt down insurgents in Iraq. Kicking in doors, rifling through dresser drawers and scaring the bejesus out of Iraqis harboring bad guys is the only way we're going to win the hearts and minds of the other, well meaning, God fearing if not yet Christian, freedom loving Iraqis. And to do that we need you. This is where you dudettes come in (is dudettes a word? If not let me know). Apparently Iraqis have some seriously whacked notions of chivalry or something. They don't like other men touching their women or even going in their bedrooms and looking under their underwear in their drawers for terrorist weapons. Even if they're fully trained and qualified US soldiers! But for some reason it doesn't bother them as much if a female does this. And while I abhor using females in combat it's obvious we need our girls to go over there to sift through underwear drawers from Basra to Kirkuk looking for terrorist weapons. Cuz there's a lot of them. Last I heard something like 250,000 tons of munitions are still lying around like trays of canapes at a fundraiser.

I know what you're thinking. This isn't for me. I've got elections to win, organizing to do. The midterms are right around the corner next year. But look, you guys have 120,000 members. You and I both know in any organization of that size there are some who join because they just wanna be one of the cool kids. Well I bet a lot of them, especially on the bottom rungs aren't cool at all! The herd could probably use a little culling and there's your target. If you get say just 10% of your membership to sign up, the ones who don't dress right, have ugly tatoos, or go to the wrong schools the Army could probably meet it's recruiting goals for two whole months! Maybe there's some minority kids who don't really fit in, how about some of those Jewish kids? You know their families probably never even voted Republican until after 9/11. Anybody who has ever laughed at anything Al Franken has ever said ought to be dragged kicking and screaming to a recruiting office. They'll like it in Iraq cuz Franken does a lot of USO shows there. You'd be doing yourselves a favor by getting rid of the kids who only think they're cool. Why let them drag down your whole org?

But seriously it's not just uncool kids who should go and here's why. It burns my butt everytime I hear someone use the term "chickenhawk" in reference to Vice President Cheney and not some homo who preys on young boys. It's not right and it's not fair. Like Rush says "words mean things" and I want the term "chickenhawk" to go back to meaning male homosexual predator like it should. If there is a blemish at all on the Veep's record (and I'm not saying there is but those nitpicking Democrats sure keep bringing it up, like he's got something to compensate for, hah!) it's those 5 draft deferments he got during Vietnam. We all know Vice President Cheney is one of our toughest most brilliant Americans. Only a genius could figure out Saddam was a threat to us when everybody from Colin Powell to Condi Rice thought he was just a tinpot dictator who couldn't even threaten tiny Kuwait anymore. But those deferments haunt him and us til this day. Please don't make the same mistake. Keep this in mind, the WOT is going to last a long time, probably for decades. From now on it'll be almost mandatory to have a hitch in the service under your belt to be elected to high office. Don't shortchange yourself and lose out to some slackjawed yocal like John Kerry who had the foresight to further his career back when he was young. 
 
I have to run now but let me leave you with one last thought. I'm not gonna mince words here. I hate to be a tattletale but if I don't see some changes soon, at least a link to GoArmy.com on your webpage I'm gonna have to take other measures. I might even ask the President to intervene. Don't make me do that pleaseee! 

Patriotically Yours, 
Mark Garrity