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A New Civil Rights
I live in a right-winged area. Both religious and military. We have the most churches per capita in Florida, and the most gay bars. We had two people shoot and kill abortion doctors here, one of the killers was executed. The other is still in prison. This is the most whacked-out place I have ever lived.
I work in a flower shop. With all women. No gay guys in MY shop. Only self-rightous, holier-than-thou, Bible-thumping, and ignorant women. Also..these women are basicly kind, religious, and what I would say...regular middle class people. But every single one of them is against same-sex marriage, and any kind of acknowledgement of a homosexual condition. One of these women put Bible verses on the board. Of course, she left out the one that said eating shrimp was an ABOMINATION. Or the one that says if your child yells at you.."I hate you".. you must stone them to death. Ahh..details.
According to them, gay people are being gay because they choose this. They want to be 'perverted'. Rick Warren is right by equating being gay with pedophilia. "Don't force that on me" is what my co-workers say. "Don't make my children see this". I say..."this" is life on this earth. If you believe in God...God made gay people. Was that a 'Whoops" on HIS part? Does God do 'whoops'???
My mentor..flowers, is gay. He was a nurse in the Navy and was in the Tet Offensive. That was way before 'don't ask don't tell don't throw-up'. He has been with his partner for 30 years. My question...why is his relationship wrong? Why should he be relegated to a life alone? How do I explain to the ladies I work with that Robbie is a human being wanting to have a family like the rest of us? That there are thousands of couples ...same sex couples.... that want to make faimilies together. Civil Rights. We are all equal under the law.
Can any one of you tell me that I am wrong? Should I forget civil rights?
"Marriage". A word. Nothing more...nothing less. Civil Rights. More.
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You are not wrong at all, and what you do is to continue to try and educate them. You find stories about wonderful gay people to share with them. You bring in articles about gay not being a choice. You model tolerance.
What you don't do is to try and bully them. No one ever stopped being afraid by being bullied into it. You don't attack their beliefs. No one ever started opening their mind by being insulted or ridiculed.
Marriage is the hot button here, as I see it. The right wants to keep it theirs, one man, one woman. The left wants it to be theirs, too. Two whatevers...Jason, and I'm sure others, have suggested that we just do away with marriage as a legal term, and make all unions "civil." Then churches can grant religious marriage licenses if they want. Problem solved...But no, everyone wants to claim that stupid word, so we have a mess.
December 23, 2008 12:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
BTW, our bios are very similar, except that we are not military. I want everyone to have what I have, as well, and I believe we will get there, as well.
December 23, 2008 12:15 AM | Reply | Permalink
I second what stillidealistic said.
I served with gay Sailors during my entire time in the Navy and was actually the place I started to learn tolerance for something I had no previous experience with. Being stationed in San Diego was the another part of that with a large gay community that I lived right in the middle of. Moving to DC was the third and final step toward a more complete realization of what life is like for gay Americans, both in and out of the closet of bigotry and misunderstanding and fear.
But no where along that path did I have awareness shoved down my throat. It was a gradual process made through direct contact with those I had not really known before. It was by making new friends and being exposed to new ways of living in this world. I believe America is near the same place that made huge civil rights strides possible for other groups long denied those rights by law and by precedent.
We just have to keep talking and interacting and making new friends.
I suspect Barack has a few ideas to really force the issue once he is in office. I think the Warren move is part of that wider strategy. Don't be surprised if he repeals DADT completely as one of his first executive orders. That will really get the ball moving and is something supported by many military commanders.
December 23, 2008 12:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
My cousin is one of those women. She's very sweet, very generous and very ignorant. On Thanksgiving, we got into a discussion about same-sex marriage. She said, "I think it's ridiculous! Why can't those people just leave things alone? Why do they have to force their ways on the rest of us?" I said, "Renee, that's precisely their point. Why should they be forced to live with your beliefs?" She replied, "Because they live in America, and this is a Christian country." And I said, "Well, then perhaps I should move because I'm not a Christian. But tell me: how does same-sex marriage threaten your way of life?" And she said, "Well, why don't we just let people marry their dogs?" And I said, "How would THAT threaten your way of life?" No answer for thirty seconds or so, then: "Well, this is a Christian country." And I said, "Well, that's too bad because the prohibition against homosexuality is Jewish law. Perhaps America is a Jewish country."
December 23, 2008 12:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
Share this touching essay with your co-workers. I happen to know the young man and his family. He is spending his Christmas vacation at a leper colony in China:
http://www.jsonline.com/news/opinion/29221519.html
We need more individuals like him. With full rights to found a family and raise children.
December 23, 2008 2:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Let me be clear. He gave up a skiing vacation with his family (in the Canadian Rockies) to work with lepers in China. (yes, he's fluent in Chinese) This is the mark of wonderful human being. Someone who has so much to give. Should he not have the same rights as anyone else?
December 23, 2008 2:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
What a kind and mature young man!! I have not met any gay person I did not like instantly. I know there must be some 'klinkers' out there, but I have never run into them. It must have to do with what they have to go through to come to terms with themselves. Horrible.
December 23, 2008 6:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
You may be onto something. Many people who have suffered seem to have much compassion for others.
Peace.
December 23, 2008 6:40 PM | Reply | Permalink