Muntazer al Zaidi, the Iraqi journalist who banked on his shoes kissing President Made Off, has, supposedly, signed a confession that states that he acted at the urging of Iraqi head hackers. This latest development has forced me to leather collar my previous post.

My earlier marveling at Mr Z's athletic prowess is now tempered with the thought that he may have been on steriods. Yes, steriods. Not because he leads the Iraqi league in shoes thrown, but because no self-respecting head hacker would use a 271 Shoe on a job that required a 007 Odd Job Hat. Amputation by shoe?

And then, allowing himself to be captured and subjected to the Gold Finger-ish torture mill, as alleged by his brother? i.e., tortured for 36 hours continuously; hit with iron rods & cables; very severe bleeding in his eye; and, a forced confession.

That alone is a pretty steep price to pay for a few shit stains. But, he's also looking at a 5-15 year jail stretch on top of it. (Good thing that they hanged the tyrant, huh?)

He's charged with aggression against a foreign head of state during an official visit.But, with the way things work in Iraq, I'm not sure if the charged aggression is the throwing of the shoes, or, the attempted dog kissing. And, if Mr Z would have said "son of dogs", would he have been charged with attempting to shut down the Iraqi parliment as well?

Z, the news hound, was an established journalist, he didn't just fall off the turnup....e-r-r....shrink wrapped dog food truck. He didn't know that you're supposed to corrupt the justice department BEFORE you throw the shoes? No $40 thou in pardon money tucked into the odor-eaters? No friends at Treasury with shoe boxes full of money? No UNIFYING?, first Black President to elect, so that you don't have to back out of Dodge with two six-shoes blazing? Where was the escape plan?

Z's blundered head loping has set the hacker profession back years. He's made them look like two-for-a-dollar carnival barkers, "Shoe the dodging dog (or chimp) and win a headless kewpie doll". What? Did he think he was in some kind of circus tent? Nancy Pelosi hacker school?

Z and his wayward loafers are now looking at jail time so severe that it will probably exceed FBI overtime. And, his only pillow will be the increased shoe commerce with Turkey. The happy face blankets won't be handed out until it's confirmed that excessive shoe dodging causes testicular cancer in dogs.