I know this is dangerous to do, but I find myself wondering what the hell goes on in the mind of Joe Republican? Are they simply unaware that there position is incoherent? Or are they aware, but deliberately lying? Are they simply incapable of rational honest discourse? Do they not think at all? Do they conduct themselves this irresponsibly in their private matters?

They pretend that the only problem with healthcare is the democrat's proposed solution, and then offer nothing in return.  Elected officials speak seriously, in public no less, of eugenics and Hitler. Public officials parrot, or are silently complicit in, analogies despicably inappropriate. Can you imagine the fear in someone that actually believes it?

Why wasn't there an immediate unequivocal condemnation by all media at the first mention of Nazis or euthanizing Granny? Are we actually in the 21st century? I keep thinking that the Republicans are all going to burst out laughing in unison and say "Ha! We really had you going there didn't we! Ok, now let's solve the problem."

Should we look back on this and say, "Oh yeah, those silly Republicans, they were just exaggerating, they didn't really mean to imply that Democrats would intentionally design death panels. Yeah, that was all just politics as usual, you know. Besides, both parties do it."  

It is surreal that this is even a topic of discussion. Maybe I just need to lighten up. Or better yet, give up on figuring it out. It wouldn't be that hard for me. I'm set with my healthcare. And I have my own problems. Perhaps I worry too much.

But I hide behind obscure satire, and offer no alternatives. And it could be humorous, if it weren't so sickening.

Barney Frank's approach was appropriate. For objections to be considered, there must be at least a willingness to be "reasonably" honest.  The republicans have broken every shred of the social contract that dignifies public debate. And they do so boldly and seemingly without shame. They offer nothing save hyperbolic uninformed, and quite frankly, disgraceful assertions. The leaders that we elected have an obligation to repudiate this crap and state boldly and bluntly that they are lying. No Barack, they are not being disingenuous or misleading, they are lying and inciting fear. They do not even share in the stated objectives. Walter Kaufman explained:

 "[W]here the will to be honest is lacking, discussion is wholly pointless."

So please Mr. President drop the pretension of compromise. Strong-arm the effete blue dogs. And start acting like you are willing to be a one term president.

My good people,

I am pleased to inform you that I have had a change in heart. Not conviction, heart. The heretics will never threaten our ideology, pride or fortitude, nor will they criticize the eternal source of these grand traits. They haven't the stomach for it. Why, even if we were depraved, we would only need to obfuscate repeatedly and foist unseemly false motives upon them for them to yield. As all liars, they are spineless. For even in the face of blatant absurdity, they will doubt themselves. They will spend countless resources "understanding" the absurdity. They will equivocate, second guess and reformulate their so-called "values" to accommodate absurdity. And then they will expect us to admire them for their determined thoughtful compromise. It would be humorous if it were not so sickening. So you see, there is no cause for acting the sage where transpicuous bullying suffices. Anyway, they would not comprehend our sage advice. And I am not entirely convinced that they are evil anymore. Evil is far more inflexible, determined, and worthy of fear.

You see, they have this insipid infatuation with process and journey. Their ends are frayed and fickle, while their means are predictable. They cast themselves into frenzy upon the slightest confrontation and their ill-defined ends become more frayed, more unintelligible, while their means grow yet more predictable. Soon they will grow weary, no longer able to identify which frayed end to pursue. And they will slink back into their comfort zone, passively, and occasionally aggressively, brooding about which frayed end might have been. And debating the original end that gave rise to their individual perceptions of what might have been. They will set once again to understanding and accommodating past absurdities for future more effectual means that will, in turn, accommodate future absurdities. But, this is all predictable. And finally, we will have to step in once again and demonstrate how to go about getting things done. But this has been our blessed burden since time immemorial, and we accept it.

So do not fret for our perceived values soldiers, simply remain vigilant and instead of crusading for truth, you may rest and simply bully while feigning fear. As for the guns, still bring them, it is one of the few persuasive purveyors available that provoke genuine understanding in heretics.

On that note, "Let's play hardball!"

Good people of America,

And why not take the most malicious interpretation of healthcare reform. Is this not war? Who among us is naive enough to consider that the evil-doer negotiates in good faith? Remember, evil tells a little truth with many lies. Is it any surprise then that a most vile proposal has been deliberately inserted with great cunning into this bloated, autocratic, so-called healthcare document? And would we not be remiss, as the chosen keen observers, NOT to hold the entire document in utter contempt? And not only it's content, but the depravity inherent in the intent of its creators. Yes, this is our duty to our fellow man. We owe it to our neighbors whom we love dearly, and to which our compassion knows no limit.

Our plan for safeguarding others is outlined unequivocally in our document and is based on compassion and benevolence, and perhaps most importantly, reasonable action with regards to the health and well-being of others. This fact is evidenced by the appropriateness of even the tiniest single statement - Behold:

"Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven".

Now, the evil agitators may suggest that this calls into question the intent of its Author. They will suggest that the entire document should be discarded and labeled as "true" evil. They will use serpentine guile and speak similar arguments as we do only to trick us. This is no joke my friends. It is imperative on us to advocate for the health of the elderly and the children who will suffer undignified deaths for their lies. Indeed, these misbegotten evil-doers, these vile imps, are intent on misrepresenting the entire basis for our compassion. Make no mistake, they mean to bring doubt, disfavor, and disgrace on our unassailable document! They will deliberately use liberal interpretations of a single quote, manipulate its language, and then, under fiendish pretenses, present it as our true intentions in order to cast doubt on our entire glorious document! Be careful to not even admire their audacity -- evil feeds on a sliver of hope.

And while the truth of one of our tiniest quotes amidst a sea of truth is unabashedly clear to the learned, detractors of compassion will try to convince otherwise. It is our burden that we as the chosen observers, the keen arbiters of all that is reasonable and good, demonstrate to our people, the people, the actual meaning of these precious passages so that our righteous yet weaker brethren may not be deceived. And I warn you now soldiers. Take heed! The evil-doers' cynicisms are unbounded and their victory would bring a long dark period on humanity. Our well-being, nay, the well-being of mankind is in grave danger!

Do not let them misinterpret our book! Do not let them misrepresent theirs! The evidence speaks for itself! Go forth soldiers! Go forth to your meeting places! Go forth to their meeting places! And go forth with a conviction that honors obedience!

Oh yeah, don't forget your vehicle of salvation. Bring a gun.