Why
is it still acceptable (sort of) to express prejudice towards
homosexuals while totally unacceptable with African-Americans. The
first being categorized as a juvenile, sexually stunted impasse, the
later a deep seated anti-social core value. Enen as a self assured
gay man, I feel about as much remorse as double lifted shoulders when
I use the word faggot as a castrating judgment, yet I feel horrendous
guilt if a racist thought or slip of the tongue comes out with
red-faced shame. Queer culture seems to be more resilient and thick
skinned as opposed to the seemingly bruised and geneally shackled
African potential. In degrees of compassion, I feel pity for African
Americans but project my pity on those who are homophobic. All at
the same time I have no sense of remorse or sorrow for the Native
Americans even though, almost to the point of genocidal extinction
and as I sit in my apartment slammed down on top of their home turf,
we decimated their culture still with an aura of honor and
deferential respect. It is obvious that I, that we all (since I am a
composite reflection of our World), need to continue my trip to
awareness. As these are my own perceptions, unique in their
incubations, figuring those out is primary.
Written
in response after revisiting Tim Wise from a post here, a "current topics"
debate about race and the race ( coined by a friend: race²) and in honest disclosure, it was more like a raucous farce over a
few beers down the corner. In the midst of a lot of babble, a
couples morsels of brilliant insight, some off-color comments, we
figured out that we are mostly ill prepared for public discourse
about race. It was especially awkward when others not a part of our
group joined in. And this was with a group of close friends who I
know don't have an ounce of spite in them. The fact that I think it
important that I catalogue our skin color is telling in itself. It
was as if I was given an exam on linear dynamics and failed, even
with multiple years of success with calculus and trigonometry - I had
seen it all before but didn't know how to put it all together and
make it work, and certainly did not have enough mastery for complete explanation. In both cases, I needed to do a lot more study on my
own.
Not
that I see a hermetic life as the answer, but that it takes sincere
contemplation. It is from this contemplative lookout that I get
prepared, if not totally comfortable, to answer and induce a
dialogue. I won't share with you any of my insight. As I slip on my
pink toga and light my incense, I will encourage you to first
investigate them on your own.