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I Had TV But No Radio, That Day


Watching Obama on Letterman tonight, I was impressed.  Both he and Letterman said all the things I hoped they would, and more so.

I have to admit, though, when Obama gave a quiet shout out to New Yorkers about 9/11, and spoke of his reasons for wanting to continue to go after Al Qaeda, it brought home memories I thought I had forgotten after all the other crap that's happened since.


I had no radio in my car.  So I drove to work on Long Island, that day, as I usually did, in silence.  

I got to work that Tuesday morning like I did every other morning, greeting our receptionist.

I was working there as a temp.  We were working for a liquor company about to be bought out.  Most of us were temps, on hire to keep the last leg kicking before the big sale was to take place.

We worked in Nassau County, about thirty minutes away from Manhattan without traffic.

That morning, I parked my car and strode into the office intent on putting my purse away at my desk and clamoring for the coffee at that newfangled K-cup coffee machine we had.

But before I could reach my desk, I was stopped by the receptionist who said, "Did you hear?"

I asked, "About what?"

She said, "A plane hit the World Trade Center.  One of the two towers.  All of the guys are in the conference room watching it on TV."

I reminded her I had no radio in my car, and asked if it would be okay if I took my coffee into the conference room to watch the news report.  She smiled and said, "Of course.  Tell me what you find out."

All the while I fixed my coffee I was picturing a little biplane stuck in the window of one of the Twin Towers.  I was wondering if the pilot may have survived.

So when I entered the conference room and saw the picture on the big screen, I had to take a step back.

"A jet airliner!"

"Yeah," the VP answered.  "No small shakes."

I sat down with the guys and we proceeded to watch the news on the big screen in the conference room, all the while thinking aloud to ourselves, "How could this happen?  Was the pilot drunk?  How did he get so close to the skyline of Manhattan?".

And while we're sitting there, drinking our coffee and debating what went wrong, we see a shadow on the screen, and then static for a second or two, and then the screen comes back on and suddenly there's another plane in the second tower.

We all go, "What was that?" and then my stomach drops out of my body and onto my feet and I say, "Hey, guys?  This is not an accident."

Two commercial planes crashing into both Towers in one morning?

I still don't know to this day what the lyrics to "A Whiter Shade of Pale" mean, but I can tell you that every man sitting at that conference table with me at that moment all turned it.

Then, two other women joined the room and I relieved the receptionist so that she could catch up on what was happening, but my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't really handle the phones all that well.  Not that they were ringing.  The only phone call I remember coming in was to the VP, and it was from his wife, on his cell phone.  He took her call in another room and then pulled us all back into the conference room to tell us that reports had it the Pentagon had just been hit.  He suggested we all just stay there and keep watching the updates on the television until we knew more.  

At the same time, Rudy Giuliani was coming on the screen and calming all of us down.

To this day I can't recall if we knew about the plane in PA before the first tower suddenly collapsed before our eyes.  I remember letting out a sort of a sob, because I was so shocked by it.  I'd seen those buildings being built, as a kid, and knew them as part of our city skyline ever since.  Suddenly, one is going down in this quick and dusty fall as if it's made of match sticks.  I remember one of the women in the room with us crying out, "Oh, God!  I hope everyone's out already!!"

It might have been then that some of us started leaving the room to try to call their families, and we had trouble with the phone lines.  I know it was then I wondered if Chicago and California were going to be next.  We all started to realize this could be a state of war.  

The VP suddenly said that we should all go home to our loved ones, and be safe.  All of us did just that.

I drove home in my old car, with no radio, and paid attention to everything around me more than I ever had before.  I remember being amazed that there was no traffic on the Long Island Expressway, and I remember suddenly being aware of the sound of air traffic only because fighter planes were taking off over me as I neared my house.

When I got home I tried calling my sister, but she wasn't yet home from work and had not picked up my niece from daycare yet.

So I sat and watched more television and kept trying her until she got home.  My first thought was to go over to her house and sit with her, but she said she was okay and then my second thought was to go to my local bar and have a drink.  So I went to my local bar and had a drink.

We all watched the television, there, at my local hangout, as Rudy kept getting on the tube to reassure us and comfort us and tell us that terrible things had happened yet we'd all be okay.  Several guys at the bar were former cops and firemen, and they assured me their comrades in arms were on it and doing all they could.

Others yelled and got angry and said, "We're obviously under attack!  And this cannot happen here!  We will get whoever did this, and we will make sure they know they done f*cked with the wrong country!!"
The confusion and chaos continued through the night as people entered the bar with blank looks on their faces.  Several friends of mine who had been near the Towers were unaccounted for and we all took turns trying to reach them by cell phone.

It wasn't until days afterward that I heard firsthand accounts from my two close friends who'd been down there.

So when Obama spoke tonight, on Letterman's show, and said that we still need to go after those who hurt our city and country, it sort of brought home all these memories for me.

I never agreed with the occupation of Iraq, and I hate any thought of war.  

But staying in Afghanistan in the hopes of cornering Al Qaeda, and Osama bin Laden, well....

I still don't know how I feel about that.

I just know I hope we never get attacked again.


22 Comments

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I will always remember that day.

I just happened to walk by my TV right when the network broke in with the news/coverage as I was getting ready for work. Listened to WCBS radio coverage on my way in to work and continued watching it once I got to work. I forget who the reporter was for WCBS but I'll never forget his/her reaction when the 2nd plane hit...not the words just the utter shock and horror in the voice. As bad as it was when the towers came down it became surreal...I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I knew right away that many people had died.

:(

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That whole day was surreal, yeah. My memories of it are sketchy, at best. I don't think I have any of it in the right order, and I'm damn sure I haven't been able to express the horror and shock of it.

But I know you understand, as many others do too.

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When I worked for GenRe (1986-1992) I stayed at the WTC whenever I had to visit our NYC branch. The last time was 1991 which was before the first (the truck bomb) attack. I live in CT but anyone who knows the tri-state area knows CT is mockingly called "The 6th Borough". We don't care for the nickname but it is accurate in terms of how much NYC almost seems like home for us here.

When I worked at GenRe I worked in the same department, the claims dept, as Bev Eckert...the woman who lost her husband on 9/11 and then tragically died in a plane crash herself earlier this year in Buffalo. Many CT residents were killed or lost loved ones in the attack, and we all seem to know someone...of course nothing like what the residents of The City went through but it cut very close to the bone for us and it felt like CT was under attack too.

I've kinda been thinking about it all day and I think the WCBS radio reporter's words were basically..."OH MY GOD!!!! ANOTHER PLANE JUST HIT THE OTHER TOWER!!!! EVERYBODY GET OUT OF HERE, I THINK WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!!!" At that point my heart sank into my stomach and I got a bit of a nauseous feeling, because I knew right away it was a terrorist attack...the sick feeling I had quickly turned to, which for me is rare, defiant anger. Then the news hit about the Pentagon, the plane going down in PA, the towers collapsing and the government ordering all the planes out of the sky...it just seemed like it never was going to end.

Yeah, I'll never forget that day Lis.

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I will never forget that day either. I worked in the Credit Dept. of Trek Bicycle. They had TVs scattered throughout the office so employees could watch the various bike races. Someone yelled "Oh My God" and that brought everyone to their feet. Management was kind enough to allow us to watch the coverage. No one worked much that day as the grief and horror was just too immense for everyone to comprehend.
Two months later, I flew to Florida. I changed planes at O'hare. It was strange walking through the concourses and seeing so few people. I went into the Women's restroom. No one was there except the Custodian. I asked if she was cleaning and should I leave and use a different restroom. She replied "No, it has been like this since 9/11." It was indeed an eerie feeling.
Sleepinj. related to me how when driving to NYC he had always used the "Trades" as his beacon for navigation starting at about 60 miles out of the city. He said he didn't realize how much he actually used them until they no longer existed.
Watching the Trades coverage, my next thought was the security of the four major bridges connecting US and Canada--all within a few miles of each other. There are also two long suspension bridges connecting Buffalo and Niagara Falls NY through Grand Island. Not to mention the power plants on both sides of the River and the Welland Canal less than 12 miles away. http://www.firehouse.com/frontlines/news/02/0915.html
I was so afraid these would be a target as well as other places in our Country. I too hope this never happens again.

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Yeah, I think we all have our memories of that day joaneliz. I think all of America was huddled around their TV sets that day. I remember a customer came into the store who hadn't heard. We watched for a good 45 minutes until the unthinkable happened. Just staring wide eyed at the TV, and then at each other, in disblief as the towers fell. The towers actually coming down was something neither of us considered as a remote possibility as we were watching the coverage, until it happened.

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That is what we all hope lisb. We hope that we will not be hurt again. That we will not be attacked again.

Quite a difference to be watching this thirteen hundred miles away and you being thirty minutes away.

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Well, what I remember fearing that day, Dickon, was that we'd all go down, one city after another.

That's what I truly thought was happening, that day.

So when Obama spoke with Letterman about it, tonight, he brought home to me the feelings of reassurance that Rudy and Bush gave me, those first few days, and also brought home to me that a) his job is a very tough one and b) he's got a cool head on his shoulders and c) he doesn't want that to happen again, either.

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How can I forget it. I was working on the west coast at the time and heard it as I was getting ready for work. I was late and received an immediate counseling warning me if I was even one minute late again I'd be fired.

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Woke to NPR reporting the first impact. I went downstairs and fired up CNN just in time for the second hit.

Stayed glued to the TV all day while at my computer with a phone at my ear, trying to make sure, first, that everyone I knew with any NYC connection was OK and their people back there were as well, then trying to find out everything I could, and calling to see if anyone needed a camera here in MN. Two gigs went away, one because the clients could not travel here, the other because a producer/semi-regular kind of flipped out.

And I wanted Bin Laden's head on a pike by the end of the day.

We seem to have returned to some sort of variant of "normal" now, while the complex conditions that spawned the terrorism remain unaddressed, and I have to get ready and go to work.

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Great writing!

You know... I listened to Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison yesterday talk about how we have to get 'rid' of Al Qaeda and the Taliban for 'all' freedom loving countries. And I can't remember her exact words but she said something about wiping them out and making sure that they could not attack freedom loving nations again.

And I realized this objective is impossible.

It makes much more sense to me that we do all we can to protect ourselves and stop creating more terrorists by acting like tyrants and killing innocent people all over the place. Instead of fighting a ground war we should spend the money revamping and cleaning out our intelligence agencies and continue to develop security to protect ourselves. Strategic strikes on their camps wherever they are is much more sane than any notion that we can 'wipe them out' or disable them by being in Afghanistan.

It seems to me that we are in Afghanistan for psychological reasons, to make ourselves 'feel' more in control, more than to actually make our country safer.

Every time we kill an innocent in Afghanistan or Pakistan or Iraq we reinforce the cause of Al Qeada and the Taliban. And if we were the people of these nations wouldn't we rise up and try to strike at the US?

If anything maybe we've convinced some of the terrorists to be careful of what they do in our borders because we go nutbatz insane and could end up killing millions of 'innocents' in response. But our response to this terror attack has weakened our nation economically, militarily... so our 'response' has really furthered the goal of Al Qaeda. They could not hurt us as much as we have hurt ourselves.

As far as I can see this is a no-win situation. Yes, where we have the best intelligence and feel it will truly further our safety, we could strike at Al Qeada but we have become a complete joke in the world. Torturing... the recent photos of contractors drinking liquor out of each others asses etc... make our country appear completely idiotic and barbaric.

I think we should change course. We can't force Afghanistan to be a democracy and we can't stop terrorism from happening to us by wiping out every Taliban and Al Qaeda person from their country. We can waste a lot of life, money, resources, and good will trying to make ourselves 'feel safer, feel in control, feel as if we are doing something about it' but it's silly to believe that this will keep us safe.


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We could go on all day about this, of course. Still pretty raw actually, and my eyes have moistened up.

I was working in Paris. We also reckoned it was a piper cub and wondered too if the pilot might have survived. Friends e-mailed from D.C., and it was reported hat something might be going on there too, but that really seemed far-fetched and probably a garble.

It was afternoon of course, and as it developed more I went to an Irish pub in the neighborhood where English speakers congregated, watching it on BBC, our faces no more just ghostly.

Tribalism was astonishing; we all want to hear from the chief and be with the chief at times like this evidently, cuz the BBC would not shut up about what route Tony Blair would likely take from the countryside back to 10 Downing Street. Critically, he might take the A-whatever and switch to the M-whatever, but he actually does that only infrequently and many believe he would avoid the M-whatever and switch for a short bit to the A-whatever-else at the roundabout, but that could be no means be assured either. And a report came in, briefly interrupting these important details, indicating that the second tower had partly or completely collapsed also and we watched in horror as it tumbled while a fuller picture was drawn for us: You see, the point about Blair and that roundabout was particularly significant at that time of day, and there was actually a third route that involved the M-something else for just a slightly longer run, and then jagging off upon a little-used road which might offer just the thing for this difficult occasion, and just imagine what it must be like for the PM to be traveling at a time like this and the strain upon him and what have you.

This is what American coverage must sometimes look like to outsiders.

Friends who worked in the towers were probably dead (weren't in the end, and I remember coming back in two days just to tell the barkeep that my friends had made it; didn't order anything and just reported that.)

Later a friend in Moscow said, "That was the worst, the worst day." Full stop. And it was.


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I was at home that day. A friend called breathless saying "did you hear about the World Trade Centers?" I said no but inquired what she was talking about. I wasn't much concerned as she told me the news was reporting a plane hit one of the towers. I sat down at my computer and looked at the news with a picture taken shortly after the first plane hit. It was still unclear what kind of plane had struck the building. From that moment something didn't quite smell right about the whole thing.

My friend asked me what I thought was going on. After looking at the changing pictures for a few seconds I told her "Well I think it's either a terrorist attack or the introduction of the police state." She asked if I was really serious about that and I told her I certainly was. Turns out I was right on both counts.

Like everyone else, I spent the rest of the day glued to the tv in horror but I immediately noticed on CNN and the networks that commentators and news people were all singing the same tune about how this will mean we must surrender some of our liberty in exchange for safety, etc... They couldn't repeat to the audience enough that things will immediately and forever change and we will have to learn to live in a country that is not as free as it was before. I will never forget the first person I heard spouting this malarky. It was the historian David McCullough who I otherwise respected. "What bullshit" I thought to myself. I rejected it from the moment I heard it and I reject that bullshit line of thinking now. That trade off was never necessary and is not necessary now.

I noticed that day that life continued as usual in my city and everywhere except in the locations of the actual attacks, yet the people on tv were in a panic and stirring up even more panic in a way I'd never really seen before. I noticed that instead of demonstrating the slightest bit of courage, most of our national political leaders went into hiding like a bunch of cowards until they knew it was safe to come out. It was that absence of leadership by anyone out of DC of either party that catapulted Rudy to stardom and a new lease on his political life. He had no choice really. He was stuck in Manhattan and while I've never liked the man, he at least was not a chicken on that day which is a helluva lot more than one can say about most of our political leaders at that moment. The biggest chicken of all, of course, was our idiot President who immediately ran and hid and remained incommunicado for most of the day. When he emerged at the end of the day to give his short speech to the nation I remember thinking he was pathetic. He looked scared and as though he really didn't know what to do or say. All the pundits said otherwise but I spoke to few real people who didn't share my opinion about Bush's scared rabbit look.

It was a terrible day in many ways of course. We lost all those innocents for no reason. Our scared leaders blundered us into two wars, both of which, it appears now, will be lost in the end. The same people fell all over each other to support the wholesale violation of the rights of citizens and to overturn some of the most fundamental protections that citizens have always had in this country and we still have won them back. All of us are routinely spied upon by our own government. The same leaders created a "homeland" security department that is nothing but a massive, bureaucratic behemoth that has provided little, if any, additional security to our nation but cost us lots and lots of money. The same leaders initiated and implemented a sham commission that didn't answer the most fundamental questions about the attacks of 9/11 and how/why our government failed so miserably in protecting New York and Washington against planes that they knew had been hijacked long before they struck their targets. And that commission failed most notably in finding out why our gold plated, much ballyhooed military was unable to even intercept the hijacked planes, let alone do anything to stop them from murdering thousands of people.

Yes, it was an important day and a day that has caused nothing but mourning ever since.

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The same leaders created a "homeland" security department that is nothing but a massive, bureaucratic behemoth that has provided little, if any, additional security to our nation but cost us lots and lots of money.

You are vague here about which leaders but -- I hope you remember that it was the *Dems* that pushed for DHS, not Bush. Bush was sticking true to his neo-con advisors' ideology about less centralized big government. This is one instance where Bush got it way right over the Dems (albeit for the wrong reasons).

You are quite correct that DHS has cost more and provided less security. However, I believe, like Bush, you are only correct because of ideological reasons than by real facts. (The fact included that our country was already covered by many of the functions of DHS -- e.g. coordinated security -- and so the formation of DHS created turf wars within the government. DHS ended up dismantling many organizations that were working quite well -- while DHS still, after 8 years, never gotten stabilized. Whole week-long seminars are still provided to Congressional staff to help them understand how the agency even works...! And still it's unclear. This is the reason that they were thrashed by Congress in the 09 budget...)

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Your memory is faulty. Leiberman was pushing for Homeland Security, and, yes, he was a Democrat. His bill was stalled and then was pulled out by Bush and the GOP for the 2002 midterm elections where the failure to act on the bill was pushed as the Democrats' failure to "protect America". After these midterm gains for the GOP, the bill was gleefully passed and signed by Bush.

Leiberman had the deer in the headlights look throughout the whole thing. Bottom line? Lieberman was "had".

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I told her "Well I think it's either a terrorist attack or the introduction of the police state." She asked if I was really serious about that and I told her I certainly was. Turns out I was right on both counts.

No, you were not right on both counts. You were right about the first part, wrong about the second. Apparently, you either don't know what a police state really looks like, or your standard is quite different than the overwhelming majority of the population.

Here's a little tidbit for you from the inside:

Much policy was based to help calm people down. All that airport security? Calm people down. There were far better technology solutions, but the government wanted a physical guard presence -- because that's what "we, the people" wanted.

Remember all those Senators passing bills up the wazoo on wire taps, etc.?

It's because they were scared that "we, the people" were going to vote them out of office without some civil response.

Now, I happen to agree that the response was way out of whack with what was required. But you and I are in the minority. It might also give you pause that most senior officials I talked to -- at the time and the present -- including people in the Pentagon and what became Dept of Homeland Security, agreed with us as well.

It's unfortunate you frame the discussion to be evil government taking over. It's the most people live in fear. McCullough, no doubt, knew from history what the response would be. I didn't hear the interview to which you refer but consider: perhaps McCullough was simply stating a prediction based on historical antecedent rather than a direction he wanted to choose?

Want to know something else? Technology solutions would have been a lot cheaper in the long run. But an ancillary benefit of all that physical presence -- and I heard this more than once -- was the ability to provide jobs.

Political decisions are always based on multi-dimensional spaces.

Today I don't see cameras in any American city like I do in London... except the ones to collect traffic tickets. So the "police state" that you refer to really is all about collecting revenue. Now that's as American as apple pie.

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What a bore you are.

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The memory only reminds me how naive we all were. Not about being attacked from outside, but how our own democracy could fail us when we needed it the most. How democracy could be so perverted and used against it's own people in the name of saving itself. I have a hard time differentiating between my hatred of those responsible and those used that day to divide us for their own god damn paranoia & stunning selfishness.

I hate that I can not mourn without thinking of politics, and I each and everyone of them for that.

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A wonderful post, LisB, despite my tears. For so many of us who were in the Tri State area that awful day, the WTC remains a tie that binds.

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In the War on Terror, there can be no victory as there is no way to defend against individuals committed to destruction to the degree that they would even destroy themselves. There will always be another terrorist.

The best we can hope for are nations that can cooperate sufficiently that war can be avoided. In these days of corporatism, nations are faltering as those leaders of industry have abandoned their responsibilities to sustain the societies that support them. They seek only to extract what they need for free whenever possible. But Life's a b&tch and nobody rides for free. We will have to learn this lesson again, I'm afraid.

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Afghanistan is a lost cause. We'd be far better off using our resources to safeguard our own country. We could easily spend a fortune in lives and dollars in Afghanistan and still have to address the threat here. Anyone who thinks they can fight a non-allied, loosely structured force in a foreign contry is whacko. We weren't able to do it in Vietnam and we can't do it in Afghanistan.

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Thank you all for the comments and for sharing your memories, too. I hadn't planned on writing this post before I went to bed last night, it just sorta fell out of me. I apologize for not commenting back to each of you personally, but I've been away from TPM all day.

So...again, thank you.

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LisB

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There she is, my little one, So quick to be hurt, so quick to grin, Timid, afraid, holding out her hand, Yet many a heart she will always win. Playing, reading, talking to her dolls, Then time for cuddling, time for a kiss. She whispers, “I love you” in my ear, There she goes, my sweet little miss. Blond hair tied up in pert little bows, Skin so soft and smooth like a dove. One minute a tear, next a smile, That’s my child, my littlest love. - Mum

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