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Week of September 13, 2009 - September 19, 2009
The Fall
"Okay....hit rock bottom."
She took a deep breath and tried it on.
Started to giggle, because she pictured a mermaid breaking her toe on a drunk. We all know mermaids have no toes, which is why she thought this was funny.
"Reached the point of no return."
Refused to try that one on, because it was so final. Nothing in her life, so far, had been final. So why start now?
"Fell on bad days."
Chris Cornell had already used that one, not that her mother (and maybe even his?) would know it.
All the while she stared up at the ceiling and noticed that it was starting to sink a bit, in spots.
Not that she could complain. Her shower was already caving in, and that only took up three square feet, albeit in a rectangular pattern, but even that was not enough to get her slumlord to visit.
He, the Man of No Termite Activity, who received Terminex bills every month at the site of infestation (i.e., her apartment, and theirs - the people under the stairs), yet still claimed no infestation existed.
So therefore, no infestation existed.
So sayeth the Slum Lord. He Who Shall Never Drive Down Here.
He only lived 40 miles north. But, shit....this was New York. Can anybody blame him?
Besides. Her apartment was kinda cool. It had character. She liked to think that it was a reflection of herself. She liked to think it was her haven. She liked to think as she lay across the futon in the middle of the middle of the apartment that was the heart of it, that it was her heart, in stucco and dry wall.
She liked to think a lot, in fact. But only so far as the thoughts made sense. Because once they became too difficult, she didn't want to wikipedia her way out of a good donnybrook. She just wanted to go to bed.
And she could go to bed either in the middle of the futon, or in the middle of her bed.
Depending on her mood, on any given night.
And, now, any given day.
And so she lay.
* * * * * * * * * *
She awoke, that first Monday, at the time that she would awaken on any given Monday. And there were the cats, staring. And the sun, shining.
The alarm clock did not beep. She gave a derisive smile, and went back to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * *
She dreamed of trains. A train in the backyard of her aunt's house. Her aunt took this train home to the backyard and kept it there, for old time's sake, even though she had no room for it, and it was old and falling apart. Later, she realized the train represented her father. Meanwhile, she dreamt also of soap suds on dishes that needed constant rinsing, and rooms in houses that meandered and grew ever darker and more frightening. She awoke at 11 a.m. without feeling as though she'd slept at all.
Twenty minutes later, her phone rang.
She recognized the office phone number, and let it go to voicemail.
Ten minutes later, she listened to the message left behind.
They wanted her to call in, and talk at length about what was still pending, depending on her mood.
They wanted to keep the doors open, while closing them slowly and with little final clicking noises that only she could hear.
They wanted to give her a chance, if she was willing to dance.
They wanted her to call back, and show up, and save her personal files to a personal disk.
No risk.
She decided to get out of bed, and maybe aim for all of that. Starting with the dancing, and the risk.
Because, otherwise, let's face it. What would be the point of getting out of bed?
* * * * * * * * * *
She made it through the office visit, and got home, and got with it. Put her music on. Got in her mood. The one that let no one in but the people she decided could come in. She could only do this because it was a Monday and she had nowhere to go on Tuesday. It was a nice feeling, yet....she felt lonely.
Already, lonely.
Not feeling strong and secure at all.
Oh, what a fall.
And with that, she let herself think of autumn, and the clear blue sky.
The crisp smell of leaves falling and school starting and notebooks calling and new friends to be made by other people who knew how to make friends without feeling shy.
She took a deep breath and tried it on.
Started to giggle, because she pictured a mermaid breaking her toe on a drunk. We all know mermaids have no toes, which is why she thought this was funny.
"Reached the point of no return."
Refused to try that one on, because it was so final. Nothing in her life, so far, had been final. So why start now?
"Fell on bad days."
Chris Cornell had already used that one, not that her mother (and maybe even his?) would know it.
All the while she stared up at the ceiling and noticed that it was starting to sink a bit, in spots.
Not that she could complain. Her shower was already caving in, and that only took up three square feet, albeit in a rectangular pattern, but even that was not enough to get her slumlord to visit.
He, the Man of No Termite Activity, who received Terminex bills every month at the site of infestation (i.e., her apartment, and theirs - the people under the stairs), yet still claimed no infestation existed.
So therefore, no infestation existed.
So sayeth the Slum Lord. He Who Shall Never Drive Down Here.
He only lived 40 miles north. But, shit....this was New York. Can anybody blame him?
Besides. Her apartment was kinda cool. It had character. She liked to think that it was a reflection of herself. She liked to think it was her haven. She liked to think as she lay across the futon in the middle of the middle of the apartment that was the heart of it, that it was her heart, in stucco and dry wall.
She liked to think a lot, in fact. But only so far as the thoughts made sense. Because once they became too difficult, she didn't want to wikipedia her way out of a good donnybrook. She just wanted to go to bed.
And she could go to bed either in the middle of the futon, or in the middle of her bed.
Depending on her mood, on any given night.
And, now, any given day.
And so she lay.
* * * * * * * * * *
She awoke, that first Monday, at the time that she would awaken on any given Monday. And there were the cats, staring. And the sun, shining.
The alarm clock did not beep. She gave a derisive smile, and went back to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * *
She dreamed of trains. A train in the backyard of her aunt's house. Her aunt took this train home to the backyard and kept it there, for old time's sake, even though she had no room for it, and it was old and falling apart. Later, she realized the train represented her father. Meanwhile, she dreamt also of soap suds on dishes that needed constant rinsing, and rooms in houses that meandered and grew ever darker and more frightening. She awoke at 11 a.m. without feeling as though she'd slept at all.
Twenty minutes later, her phone rang.
She recognized the office phone number, and let it go to voicemail.
Ten minutes later, she listened to the message left behind.
They wanted her to call in, and talk at length about what was still pending, depending on her mood.
They wanted to keep the doors open, while closing them slowly and with little final clicking noises that only she could hear.
They wanted to give her a chance, if she was willing to dance.
They wanted her to call back, and show up, and save her personal files to a personal disk.
No risk.
She decided to get out of bed, and maybe aim for all of that. Starting with the dancing, and the risk.
Because, otherwise, let's face it. What would be the point of getting out of bed?
* * * * * * * * * *
She made it through the office visit, and got home, and got with it. Put her music on. Got in her mood. The one that let no one in but the people she decided could come in. She could only do this because it was a Monday and she had nowhere to go on Tuesday. It was a nice feeling, yet....she felt lonely.
Already, lonely.
Not feeling strong and secure at all.
Oh, what a fall.
And with that, she let herself think of autumn, and the clear blue sky.
The crisp smell of leaves falling and school starting and notebooks calling and new friends to be made by other people who knew how to make friends without feeling shy.
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Please Stop the Excavation...Until More Is Known
Could be maybe it's safe to rape this land.....
Could be, Rabbit.
But until more is known, first.....please try to stop this from happening.
And, also do more to stay on top of what's happening in YOUR local areas....as I now will.
Thank you, Flowerchild, for letting us know tonight about this.
Could be, Rabbit.
But until more is known, first.....please try to stop this from happening.
And, also do more to stay on top of what's happening in YOUR local areas....as I now will.
Thank you, Flowerchild, for letting us know tonight about this.
The System
So, I've been out of touch, here, for the past two nights....I've missed countless blogs full of countless topics, no doubt.
But, while I was out of touch, it occurred to me, based on a private conversation I had with a beloved chicken friend of mine, *ahem*, no clique intended.......
She said something that made me really think.
Heh, I don't think that often, so....more power to her.
Anyway....my big think was this:
Some of us, myself included, have been pissed off by some of the actions and statements of our beloved Pres and his Chief of Staff and others....cuz we want him and them to have more cajones. More balls.
The chicken said to me tonight, and I don't quote word for word, because my memory sucks, but the gist was: "He has the right thoughts in mind, and the right spirit.....it's just that The System that's in place won't allow him to do what he wants to do."
Now.....ponder that.
Think back to the days that you supported Barack Obama, and think back as to WHY, if you did at all.
If you didn't support him, but are left-leaning, think back as to why you accepted him as our POTUS.
We wanted change. We wanted representation. We wanted someone good and well-meaning in charge.
Well, we have that.
But.....having him there isn't the end all and be all that we thought it would be, is it?
Know why?
Because there is this thing. This thing in the way. This thing called The System.
We, some of us (like me), thought in our naivete that this thing, The System, would disappear once Obama took House. We thought The System would dematerialize and melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West after Dorothy threw water on her.
Instead, we've found The System is not only water-proof, but also bullet-proof, stupid-proof, nut-proof, and BeckandLimbaugh-proof.
The System stands in our way.
NOT the man we elected.
The System.
Some folks want to put Obama down, or Pelosi, or Rahm, or.....whatever scapegoat disappoints us on any given day....
They are not disappointing us.
They are up against The System.
How would YOU like to be up against The System? Think you could handle it 24/7?
The System is working 24/7 to work against us. The System is big. The System has more control than we ever imagined. The System is systematically destroying our country, while maintaining its power and control over it by being.....yeah, you got it....The System.
Instead of going after Beck or Rush or Joe "You Liar!" Wilson, why not try pooling our efforts to not only WORK The System, but Beat It?
Don't personalize it anymore. Call it for what it is. The System.
Think of it as Hal from Space Odyssey. The System.
One single unit.
Not the personal nutcases and personalities that make UP The System, but The System itself. It's one big machine. Treat it as such. Depersonalize it. See it for what it is. The System. Not one face, like Rush Limbaugh's.....but one big System.
The System.
Attack it, or be under attack by It.
Makes life so much easier, knowing thine enemy, doesn't it?
But, while I was out of touch, it occurred to me, based on a private conversation I had with a beloved chicken friend of mine, *ahem*, no clique intended.......
She said something that made me really think.
Heh, I don't think that often, so....more power to her.
Anyway....my big think was this:
Some of us, myself included, have been pissed off by some of the actions and statements of our beloved Pres and his Chief of Staff and others....cuz we want him and them to have more cajones. More balls.
The chicken said to me tonight, and I don't quote word for word, because my memory sucks, but the gist was: "He has the right thoughts in mind, and the right spirit.....it's just that The System that's in place won't allow him to do what he wants to do."
Now.....ponder that.
Think back to the days that you supported Barack Obama, and think back as to WHY, if you did at all.
If you didn't support him, but are left-leaning, think back as to why you accepted him as our POTUS.
We wanted change. We wanted representation. We wanted someone good and well-meaning in charge.
Well, we have that.
But.....having him there isn't the end all and be all that we thought it would be, is it?
Know why?
Because there is this thing. This thing in the way. This thing called The System.
We, some of us (like me), thought in our naivete that this thing, The System, would disappear once Obama took House. We thought The System would dematerialize and melt away like the Wicked Witch of the West after Dorothy threw water on her.
Instead, we've found The System is not only water-proof, but also bullet-proof, stupid-proof, nut-proof, and BeckandLimbaugh-proof.
The System stands in our way.
NOT the man we elected.
The System.
Some folks want to put Obama down, or Pelosi, or Rahm, or.....whatever scapegoat disappoints us on any given day....
They are not disappointing us.
They are up against The System.
How would YOU like to be up against The System? Think you could handle it 24/7?
The System is working 24/7 to work against us. The System is big. The System has more control than we ever imagined. The System is systematically destroying our country, while maintaining its power and control over it by being.....yeah, you got it....The System.
Instead of going after Beck or Rush or Joe "You Liar!" Wilson, why not try pooling our efforts to not only WORK The System, but Beat It?
Don't personalize it anymore. Call it for what it is. The System.
Think of it as Hal from Space Odyssey. The System.
One single unit.
Not the personal nutcases and personalities that make UP The System, but The System itself. It's one big machine. Treat it as such. Depersonalize it. See it for what it is. The System. Not one face, like Rush Limbaugh's.....but one big System.
The System.
Attack it, or be under attack by It.
Makes life so much easier, knowing thine enemy, doesn't it?
