Blood, body parts and tools all over the floor of his basement. Saws and cleavers and tongs. He did not really recall even having tongs.
The ghost of his beloved faded as she pled to receive an honorable funeral and burial.
This is the endMurdering friend
This is the end
My intrepid friend, the end
Of our gold wedding bands, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No more ole ball and chain, the end
I'll never look at you again...again
Can you picture what will be
So marriage-less and free
Desperately in need...of some...hussy's hand
In a...desperate land
Lost in a romance...wilderness of pain
And all the women are insane
All the women are insane
Waiting for that ball and chain, yeah
There's danger in a stranger's bed
Ride the king's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the strip bars
Ride the highway west, baby
Bury me, bury me
In the ground, the moldy ground, baby
The hole is deep, seven feet
bury me...I'm old, and my skin is cold
The ground is the best
The ground is the best
Bury me, and we'll do the rest
The coffin is callin us
The coffin is callin us
Driver, where you taken us
The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took an ax from the basement tool shed
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his wife lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to the bar, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Hilde, yes dear, I want to kill you
Hilde...I want to...KILL you
C'mon baby, take a chance with me
C'mon baby, take a chance with me
C'mon baby, take a chance with me
And meet me at the back with the coffin
Doin' a funeral
In a coffin
Doin a funeral
C'mon, yeah
Kill, Bill, kill, Bill, kill, Bill
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My intrepid friend, the end
It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of sorrow and loud cries
The end of nights you tried to lie
This is the end
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHFK1yKfiGo Bill passed out and came to in his bed. Suddenly he awoke to see his Hilde, his wife, in bed with him. The sun's rays shining into his bedroom.
Hilde all of a sudden sat up.
Oh my God!!! Bill was in awe.
He jumped out of bed and for the first time in his entire life he got down on his knees at his bed side and began praying.
Lord, lord, thank you lord. Thank you for this day. This hour. Bill prayed fervently, feverishly.
What are you doing? Hilde inquired.
Bill looked up at his unbeloved. He had never quite seen this 220 pound bundle of joy in this light before.
I am reborn Hilde. Things are gonna change. Jesus has saved me. Jesus has saved us. Praise the Lord, praise Jesus. Hilde looked at Bill long and hard.
BUT WE ARE JEWISH.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Olivia had left for her first meeting Saturday morning with the local RNC.
She was to pocket a neat $300 a week working with the Republicans for a Cleaner Life. She had first joined the RCL at Oral Roberts. Ironically, it was what she had accomplished orally at the RCL that got her kicked out of the University but which had, even more ironically, gotten her the job in the Room and the extra cash with the Repubs.
Strange how things 'come together' so to speak.
On her way to the meeting she recalled those nights in the trailer with Tory. The broken door hanging next to the bathroom. The pizza boxes strewn all over the floor of the abyss that she had found herself in. Three kids under six running around yelling that they were hungry. Those days were gone of course. The locals had thought she had died in the fire.
Omaha and Imaho. A regular chant she would voice each and every day.
Tory actually split the insurance funds with her, promising never to contact her again.
It took some ingenuity to fill out those community college application papers. Although it was easy to find a certified birth certificate and a new Social Security number. And with that she could get a new DL in her new state of residence.
She entered the old nunnery that had become the main office for the RNC with a smile on her face and a skip in her step.
Is Mr. Frank here? Olivia addressed a volunteer.
A volunteer, she sneered. In her head anyway. I AINT NEVER VOLUNTEERING FOR ANYTHING EVER AGAIN, Olivia thought.
He'th over dare, Veronica slurred. Oh great, this ought to be good, thought our heroine.
A fat and balding man with an unkempt look about him turned and saw the vision of his life.
I hope the rumors about this one are true, he thought.
Olivia reached out her hand to Mr. Frank and smiled in her inimitable fashion.
Our prayer meeting begins right over there, pointing to the only room with sunlight in the entire rat infested building.
She entered the room with the riff raff present and duly introduced herself.
I am Olivia, I am an American and I am a Republican who loves Jesus. Praise the lord!!! These undeserving sang at once.
Everyone woke up to a new day, a new dawn.
THERE IS HOPE ON THE HORIZON.
The prayer meeting lasted 30 full minutes and everyone moved to the conference table.
Olivia brought out her papers. Boy it's nice to have all the copy machines necessary to reproduce this drivel. And I get to charge the Repubs a cool dollar a page. COPY COSTS ALONE WILL MAKE THE MONTHLY PAYMENTS ON THE CAR, she thought and smiled to herself.
The Republican Party only appears dead. It is the democrat party that is dying. With the Lord on our side we shall win the day, began Mr. Frank.
Amen, the undeserving sang at once.
Why, just look at how the Lord has saved that sorry Sanford 's ass. Them silly libruls all crying for his resignation, but God is by his side and will let him keep his job as Gov'nor. Because Sanford is part of The Family, and The Family is a part of Jesus. Can I get an amen?
Amen, the undeserving sang at once.
Jesus our Savior will NOT let us down. He will lift the Republican Party to the highest of heights...the loftiest of, er, lofts...the greatest of, um, greatness...to the very tippy top of the tallest, uh, HIGHEST GREAT LOFTY MOUNTAIN! Mr. Frank looked around the table expectantly.
Amen, the undeserving sang belatedly.
Excuse me, but didn't we already have the prayer? Olivia asked.
Are we not now in the meeting portion? Why of course we are, we're sitting at the damn conference table, aren't we? Well then I suggest we have an actual discussion and draw up plans and pore over details. WITHOUT an amen every two minutes. Olivia then went on with her plans, passing out copies to each person at the table, basically going over Mr. Frank's head and taking over the meeting, but with such a sense of purpose and with such stunning aplomb and attention to detail that no one seemed to mind. Can I get an amen, indeed, she thought to herself when the meeting concluded.
Ms. Peony, you've outdone yourself in your research and planning. I am very, VERY impressed, Mr. Frank fawned over her as he escorted her to the door.
Olivia was suitably modest and humble in her response, all the while wishing the man would take his stubby, sweaty fingers off her arm. The things I must do to get ahead, she thought to herself. Oh well. It's worth it.
She stopped at her favorite stores on the way home and splurged on a bottle of champagne to go with her escargot. When she got home, she opened the champagne and poured herself a glass of the expensive bubbly, then kicked off her shoes and sat in her easy chair with her feet on the ottoman
.
Olivia looked around her comfortable apartment and thought to herself, Ah, this is good.
And then the phone rang...
(To be continued)