An Open Letter to a Teenager I Know
I was a geek. I totally loved school as a kid. I loved organizing my spiral ring notebook, covering my school books with brown garbage bags (a trick my mom taught me) and writing each subject in magic marker on the virgin cover (later, of course, boys' names in hearts and little doodles would be added). I was a bit shy in class but was almost always teacher's pet and I was very smart. A total A student. Well, except for gym class. I always sucked at P.E.
In Junior High I hit puberty and it was not pretty. I was one of the tallest girls in my class, I wore glasses, and got both acne and my braces all at the same time. My self esteem, already pretty low, went completely down the toilet. But one thing I could take pride in, other than my singing voice, was my intelligence. I was a geek and proud of it.
In my Freshman year of high school, I took my geekiness to the highest level and received straight A's, making the High Honor Roll. I will never forget the look on my mother's face when she got my report card that first semester. She was so proud of me, and everyone in my family thought I showed a lot of promise. Then, something happened in my second semester. I stopped being a geek. My new friends were from the "bad" crowd, the stoners, the smokers, the class-skippers. In answer to a situation going on at home, I became a rebel and started smoking and skipping P.E. My grades suffered. Instead of finishing my Freshman year on the High Honor Roll, I slipped down to Honor Roll. Over the summer, I vowed I would get back up to all A plusses in my Sophomore year. Sure enough, my Soph year started well, but once again I started skipping classes. By the beginning of my second semester my report card was mostly I's, for "incomplete". In my second semester, I was a regular in the guidance counselor's office, and my mother was a regular visitor in the school's office. They had her work number on speed dial. It was determined that, because no one could force me to go to school, and I was too young to drop out, I should try something unconventional. They put me in night school. I went readily enough, my best friend was already there, and this really cute guy named Gregg....but I really didn't learn anything. I read Deliverence and then started The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, but I don't remember finishing either the book, or night school. My school simply called my Sophomore year a failure and told me I'd have to be held back a year.
Over the summer, I moved to Florida with my mother and new step-father, and sure enough, I was held back in the fall and had to start my second attempt as a Sophomore. I hated my new school, made only one friend (a fellow smoker and stoner and class-skipper, of course), and shortly after my 16th birthday, I announced to my mother that I was dropping out.
My mother was disappointed, of course, but she was also realistic. She said that I could only drop out under two conditions: I must get my GED (a General Equivalency Diploma) and I had to get a job and pay her rent. She said that if I wanted to live like an adult in the real world, I had to act like one.
I took a 3-month crash course with a tutor and passed my GED test on the first try, three months after dropping out. I then got a job at a nearby Publix Supermarket as a cashier, and have worked steadily ever since, except for the year that I attended a secretarial school on Long Island, where I graduated third in my class, Dean's List. Since graduating, I have worked non-stop as an administrative assistant and a customer support representative for such companies as Entenmann's Bakery, Fenwick Fishing Rods, and Sony.
I guess you could say I've done well with my life, for a high school drop-out, but looking back with 20/20 hindsight I can honestly say that I could have been and done so much more. In my early teens I seriously considered becoming an attorney. Now I toy with the idea of becoming a writer. Most likely, however, I will remain an admin who only dreams of being a writer.
If I could do it all over again, I would've stayed on the High Honor Roll and gone to college. But, hey, my life could be worse. Whatever you decide, kiddo, be proud of yourself now and do what will make you even more proud of yourself later. I love you,
"Aunty Lis"
In Junior High I hit puberty and it was not pretty. I was one of the tallest girls in my class, I wore glasses, and got both acne and my braces all at the same time. My self esteem, already pretty low, went completely down the toilet. But one thing I could take pride in, other than my singing voice, was my intelligence. I was a geek and proud of it.
In my Freshman year of high school, I took my geekiness to the highest level and received straight A's, making the High Honor Roll. I will never forget the look on my mother's face when she got my report card that first semester. She was so proud of me, and everyone in my family thought I showed a lot of promise. Then, something happened in my second semester. I stopped being a geek. My new friends were from the "bad" crowd, the stoners, the smokers, the class-skippers. In answer to a situation going on at home, I became a rebel and started smoking and skipping P.E. My grades suffered. Instead of finishing my Freshman year on the High Honor Roll, I slipped down to Honor Roll. Over the summer, I vowed I would get back up to all A plusses in my Sophomore year. Sure enough, my Soph year started well, but once again I started skipping classes. By the beginning of my second semester my report card was mostly I's, for "incomplete". In my second semester, I was a regular in the guidance counselor's office, and my mother was a regular visitor in the school's office. They had her work number on speed dial. It was determined that, because no one could force me to go to school, and I was too young to drop out, I should try something unconventional. They put me in night school. I went readily enough, my best friend was already there, and this really cute guy named Gregg....but I really didn't learn anything. I read Deliverence and then started The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, but I don't remember finishing either the book, or night school. My school simply called my Sophomore year a failure and told me I'd have to be held back a year.
Over the summer, I moved to Florida with my mother and new step-father, and sure enough, I was held back in the fall and had to start my second attempt as a Sophomore. I hated my new school, made only one friend (a fellow smoker and stoner and class-skipper, of course), and shortly after my 16th birthday, I announced to my mother that I was dropping out.
My mother was disappointed, of course, but she was also realistic. She said that I could only drop out under two conditions: I must get my GED (a General Equivalency Diploma) and I had to get a job and pay her rent. She said that if I wanted to live like an adult in the real world, I had to act like one.
I took a 3-month crash course with a tutor and passed my GED test on the first try, three months after dropping out. I then got a job at a nearby Publix Supermarket as a cashier, and have worked steadily ever since, except for the year that I attended a secretarial school on Long Island, where I graduated third in my class, Dean's List. Since graduating, I have worked non-stop as an administrative assistant and a customer support representative for such companies as Entenmann's Bakery, Fenwick Fishing Rods, and Sony.
I guess you could say I've done well with my life, for a high school drop-out, but looking back with 20/20 hindsight I can honestly say that I could have been and done so much more. In my early teens I seriously considered becoming an attorney. Now I toy with the idea of becoming a writer. Most likely, however, I will remain an admin who only dreams of being a writer.
If I could do it all over again, I would've stayed on the High Honor Roll and gone to college. But, hey, my life could be worse. Whatever you decide, kiddo, be proud of yourself now and do what will make you even more proud of yourself later. I love you,
"Aunty Lis"
