There was an interesting exchange yesterday involving several posts and lots of comments critiquing the content and character of the participation here at the Café.  It set me to wondering how different this site might be if it lilted right instead of left.  These are my conclusions about those contributors and their efforts:

Richard Mellon Day:  A retired billionaire who is seldom seen in public and is reputed to have the most extensive collection of loungewear since Louis XVI.  He lives mostly in flight in a luxuriously appointed Boeing 767, landing only to purchase his favorite brands of cigarettes and a custom version of Cheese Doodles prepared under contract by a gourmet bakery in Minnesota.

Day's articles characteristically focus on his lifelong love of tyrannical leaders from the Early Middle Ages whom he memorializes in what can be only characterized as romanticized versions of these historical despots.  He is particularly fond of using the barely historical character, Archibald the Merciless, a semi-mythical Welsh king whose court and kin were renowned in their time for their mendacity.  Richard celebrates this ethic of self-indulgence in allegorical stories about Archibald that examine and enthusiastically promote such autocratic sentimentality. Day also writes about contemporary issues in which he consistently argues that it is the few wealthy and well placed who must dominate the masses of untermenschen.    

Phyllis Godsend:  TheraP as she is affectionately known is a televangelist and head of the largest mega church congregation in Southern Montana.  Her extraordinary fund raising ability allowed her to launch her own telecommunications satellite using Chinese aerospace assets.  She has her own cable network and appears daily for several hours advising and counseling her teleflock. 

Godsend's contributions to the Café are sporadic but the theme is always the same.  "I will share your pain with you if you will share your cash with me. Pass it on."  There have been several attempts to prosecute Ms. Godsend for this as being a classic "Pyramid scam" but all were settled out of court or were dropped after the untimely deaths of the complainants.

Angelina Beau l'Homme:   Angelina uses the handle LisB in honor of her lifelong relationship with Liz Cheney. 

Angelina writes as a staunch defender of the stay at home stay-at-home.  She is the only woman elected President of the all-male Promise Keepers because of her tireless efforts promoting the notion of "Equality In Subservience", that women can rule by acquiescence. 

Nancy Luntz: Aka Stratofrog: A retired CIA cryptologist and speech writer for Republicans like President George Bush; considered by Conservatives as the dean of political rhetoric and phrasemaking.  William F. Buckley Jr. said in his auto-obituary that he always wished he could write like Stratofrog. 

Her most notable contribution was when she worked tirelessly with Sarah Palin to train her to end every sentence with "and also."

Quintilius Bubkes O'Hare: Writing as Quinn Esq. is the scion of a wealthy dynasty of Canadian Seventh Day Adventists.  His grandfather, Sean Caligula O'Hare, served as a missionary to the King of Siam in the late Nineteenth century where he convinced the King that the excrement of a rare species of Canadian raccoon had aphrodisiac properties.  The subsequent trade agreements made the O'Hare family enormously wealthy.

A recluse, Quinn bursts on the Café scene unannounced from time to time in defense of inherited wealth.  His unique style of discourse is partly the religious fervor of a preacher and partly the circumspection of a man whose wealth is the product of trading in animal poop. 

This is just a small example of the caste of characters that I imagined might populate the TPM Café if it wasn't so liberal.

(Author's note: Caffeine is an amazing drug.)