Pre-note: If needed, my apologies to regular readers. Yes, I guess I must be on some fish metaphor kick. I decided to use it anyway because it should help us to have a new perspective on certain current affairs; and if any of my advice is valid... and heeded; should help us to win and keep winning.

       The lure has been dangled many times. There's no doubt the "fish" are biting. I really wish, someday, these "fish" would bite back... unless, of course, they deserve their reputation for being relatively brainless: knee jerk, nitwits. If this particular species of "fish:" vision fading, could consider its fate while staring into a pool of quickly warming olive oil... its last, dying, pre-sizzle, thought would be...

"Am I 'fish' enough, yet?"

       I'm really not referring to "fish." You knew that, right?

       The reporter was asking Dems leaving the latest meeting with Bush to approve the bailout questions. When she asked a few of them why they had decided to meet with W and the Republicans they pretty much said the same thing...

"We didn't want to be painted as if it appeared we would do nothing."

       News flash! Dems will be painted that way anyway, or something equally horrid. But if you're so concerned come up with your own plan and push it just as hard. More important: don't just let them take command of the political stage, like after you offered the off shore oil drill compromise, and then frame it in horrible ways. For every mouthing off, talking point regurgitating, rightie; there should be at least one leftie of equal stature pointing the accusatory finger right back at them using an even worse frame for how they want to handle the issue. Most of all, don't be afraid to use the term, "liars:" in public, to their face... and especially into the cameras.

       Or are you so full of Crappie that like the John Kerry fish, Mr. Politician, Mr. Pundit, Mr. Activist, Mr. or Ms. Dem, you promise not to let them Swift Boat "bait" our candidates again: and then do exactly that?

       Meanwhile, back at the White House conference dedicated to saving the Right's ass that Dems leaders eagerly decided to help with, the Republicans really had something else in mind... doing an end run around them and becoming the party against what they had just proposed. Dems? Left holding a burning bag of excrement these children put on their doorstep.

       There can be little doubt that the McCain campaign and the White House are cynically exploiting the economic bust as an enticing lure: dangled bait designed to reel Democrats into taking the blame off their guilty shoulders and make their candidate seem even more of a "hero." This is nothing new: it's the type of strategy they've successfully been using for many years; and our Dem leaders let them get away with it. Whenever there's some emergency; real, pumped up to seem to be "emergency," or imaginary, they take their duty to be responsible representatives of all Americans at home, not to mention the human race, hold it high above their heads declaring themselves to be perfect examples of what it means to be bipartisan, while they run as fast as they can towards the nastiest, meanest, most politically expedient thing they can do. But why should we bother pointing out the contradiction? They wouldn't listen. The media has everyone convinced that such comments are always politically driven.

      A lot has been said about their mindset over the years.

    "Hypocritical?" They shrug it off: at best.

    "'Liars?' Ah, so much Liberal 'name calling.'"

    "'Fascists?' Oh, ha, ha, ha... where are the ovens?"

      Don't even try to explain: their ears intentionally went deaf a long time ago. They don't care what we think about them, unless they can use those perceptions against us... like we should be using theirs against them. Besides, wrong or right, our perceptions serve us little when it comes to debating, confronting and how the public see the results for that confrontation. Why? Because we use them as mere partisan bullets sprayed out of accusing fingers and... instead of taking these perceptions; plot and plan to use their very nature against them: then actually do it. A lot.

      Yes, sad to say, we really need to become more like them.

      More on that later...

      For Conservatives: especially Neo Cons, it has become second nature for them to take how the perceive Liberals and use those perceptions as blueprints for building and then laying traps. These traps are usually based, in part, on a modicum of truth. Then, after the fish bite the lure, the crab crawls into the trap, they just reel us in. Essentially Neos use what they think they know about the Liberal mindset; use that to pick or design a lure, and then proceed to dangle their "bait." I wish they sucked at it, but they don't. They do seem to have a handle on the Left that the Left either doesn't have; or refuses to use, that they are willing and eager to take advantage of and lure them into biting. Probably both, in some cases.

       How to design a tasty bait that will deceive a Liberal...

A. A Liberal, according to their understanding, is knee jerk in nature. That means they respond without thinking through issues according to their preconceived notions: all of which makes a Liberal feel superior; "elite" to put it in current name calling vogue. Watch South Park when they bash Liberals: consider it education regarding the mindset of the enemy. (So many Neos I know have admitted they have a secret passion for the South Park. Is it any accident that the dirtiest, meanest, most amoral toon on TV is the favorite of many of... and written by... those who often claim to be anti-filth, most "upstanding" and have the highest morals? I think not.) During one episode, for example, Liberals drove around in their hybrid cars making everyone feel so inferior that the whole town was shamed into buying them. This kind of bait requires picking something that will either "jerk" them in some direction they want them to go; or away from where they might get snagged.

B. A Liberal is a nitwit who will do anything not to be perceived as one, and that can be used to make them appear even more like nitwits. They are as stupid as a perch who bites the same hook over and over. Design your lure to be so tempting the nitwits will focus on little else. (Or think of my collie who follows the frisbee with his eyes to the exclusion of everything else when I pass it left to right, but used to be so eager he would miss it when I faked a throw. Only my collie is smarter: he learned his lesson long ago. Neo Cons don't think the average Liberal is as smart as my collie. Think of Charlie Brown's reaction to Lucy and the ball: returning again and again to be slightly sweet talked into falling on his ass again.)

C. A Liberal is like the stereotypical 16 year old "dumb blond" who is more concerned with image than actually thinking things through; plotting, planning; doing anything... no matter how despicable and deceitful... to win. Every time Democrats refuse to impeach, or back off from not supporting yet another corrupt boondoggle, or give Republicans and their president unlimited powers for "national security" reasons that they can use against Democrats... this "taking image over reality" perception is reinforced. When Dems gained their minimal advantage politically in 06 but took impeachment completely off the table, and kept compromising to the point of giving them damn near anything they want, it was reinforced again. To them we're weak; "dumb blond-ish," because we didn't act just like Newt, or like Cheney and Bush in their drive for limitless power, and willingness to do anything to win.

D. Liberals think the media and/or the public will eventually "get" what they are doing and come riding over the hill on a white horse to save them called the media. Instead the media is more likely to head for the most numbers raising position they can be in... which is following the lead of the villains. Villains are what make any story fascinating. Without villains heroes would be boring. So why kill the goose that laid the golden Arbitron ratings?

      "It's not true! It's not true!" Don't get mad at the golden goose who gave you good advice but also laid an egg. I admit, these are vast, and convenient, over generalizations that skip over how they act like this too, as in during the Schiavo fiasco. But they have to be somewhat true, or using these things against us wouldn't work so well, right? And I willingly admit the terms apply to them as well. My point is: why aren't our pundits and pols using it right back? Oh yeah, I forgot, we're still waiting for those white horses.

       And waiting.

       And waiting, and waitingandwaitingandwaitingzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

       Wake up Ken.

       Now, for that nice cold splash of wake up reality, like a gallon of shaving lotion dumped on a severely sliced up face; let's put it all into current perspective. Take McCain's attempt to get Barack to agree to cancel the debate and go to D.C. to participate in some kumbaya bipartisan moment. This obvious ploy was not just an attempt to put the ball in Lucy McCain's hands and keep it out of Barack's, but to get the Democrats to go, "Oh, my gosh, my golly, we'd better do something!" So while Dems knee jerk lined up for their "we don't want to appear like we're doing nothing" photo op with Bush, the same party of deregulation who brought you this mess snuck around their backs and declared themselves against a bailout.

        And the fish bites the bait.

        They also thought Barack was going to be so concerned about image; some 16 year old-like Liberal mirror gazer, he would cancel his campaign too. Never you mind that McCain "stopped" campaigning while at the same time he continued to.

         Sometimes the fish doesn't bite the bait. I'm sure McCain's managers are busy switching to another lure instead of revising their simplistic view of Liberals, the Left and Dems in general; or even considering for a moment whether any of this is actually good for the country. Amoralists and Fundamentalists don't "consider" such things: they already "know" they're the guys and gals in the white hats no matter what how evil they behave, how long their red tail grows, or sharp and snotty their satanic horns get.

         Now there's something for Libs and Dems to exploit.

         You can't see, but I'm not turning even a slight shade of blue. That's right, I'm not holding my breath for that to happen.

         As for "nitwit," I think they truly believe Sarah Palin will do well with Hillary voters because Liberal women will think that frisbee: someone interested in their issues, really was thrown. Sarah Palin qualifies as dangled bait. Women are supposed to bite and "overly sensitive," "wet their bed" Liberal men think twice before voting against a women.

        I believe this lure has failed: miserably, though they keep dangling her in front of us so much my eyes and ears are beginning to burn from her Moosilini vileness. A case where those who do the fishing are less intelligent than the fish? This provides another opportunity to use their own nature against them rather than just point it out with that accusatory perpetually ill-fated finger we limit ourselves to.

        Think Dem leaders will do that?

        No, you're right: and neither do I.

Sidebar time...

        If it were not just little old me and I had access to the national stage, I'd at least be out there mocking them. Mocking shouldn't just only be for comedians: it's a great way to reinforce the negative image of the Right. I keep imagining a pol who, during a live press conference, puts on a Bush mask: hand up a John puppet's tokhes;

Bush: "No!"
McCain puppet, "No!
Bush: "No!"
McCain puppet, "No!
Bush: "No!"
McCain puppet, "No!
Bush: "Yes!"
McCain puppet, "Yes!"
Bush, "Hey, you're copying me!"
McCain, "How can I 'not' with your hand up my tuckus? ...and it feels soooooo good."
Bush: "Stop that"
McCain: (Igor voice) "Yyessssss, Master."

       Ah, I so miss my childhood venue for such satire: The Smothers Brothers Hour. Even as a young Conservative it was still funny. Maybe Jeff Dunham can give the pol vent lessons? Or Achmed, if he's still dead?

       Good theater.

       Great fishing.

       Back to the main theme...

       More than any other bait, one concept of "Liberal" has served them well; a lure I doubt they would ever bite: an old trusty plug that has snared many a fat bass-like Liberal election time. (I'm being unfair to bass, I know. They actually put up a good fight.) And unless we stop biting it will continue to be used against us: into the McCain administration and beyond. Think of the Liberal fish staring into that reflective pool I mentioned before and saying...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall. Am I nicer, more fair, one of them all?"

       So what do we do about this, Barack? What are your plans, Ms. Pelosi? Going to commit kari again, Harry? Or are you just preparing to fold one more time in front of other "drill, baby, drill" like lure? Maybe you're just too busy saying...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall. Am I nicer, more fair, one of them all?"

        Great.

        Good luck with that one.

        Tell me how that works out.

        Sigh.

        In fairy tales "mirror, mirror"-gazing is always a bad sign. In the political sense it is too. That means Ms. Mirror gazer, Mr. Nitwit, Ms. Politically Blond, Mr. Jerkyourknee... stop biting the bait, or be prepared to be hooked; reeled in and get gutted again.

                                  -30-

       Inspection is a column that has been written by Ken Carman for over thirty years. Inspection is dedicated to looking at odd angles, under all the rocks and into the unseen cracks and crevasses that constitute the issues and philosophical constructs of our day: places few think, or even dare, to venture.